As it’s been mentioned there’s a difference between dating when you’re younger (HS/College) vs when you’re older and are dealing with things like career, etc. It’s unfair to hold people to this standard of having a serious commitment when they 22 when they are still trying to figure out what hairstyle they look best in, lol.

I think something Mori mentioned above has a lot to do with it, finding someone who’s more of a
So the issue when I was dating was less about finding sex but more about finding someone who to borrow her line might actually care enough to visit me in the hospital* It’s why the things that haunt me now about past dating is less about people who I still get hard thinking about, or that exploded in a particularly bad fashion where I was wronged/I wronged them…it’s the partners who were in my corner 100% that I couldn’t make happen long term. Particularly looking back at some of the relationships I put time/energy in with people who couldn’t provide that(lots of it because of their own unresolved issues tho, we all need therapy black folks.) I wish I respected their time/understood what I had more.

And I am not gonna give the hard monogamy sell either. Like if I didn’t have those years of fumbling around single id be half the lover I am now and with all those dumb hang ups we had to unlearn over the years from being teenagers (getting rid of porn moves, learning that sleeping with women isn’t a one size fits all deal, being weird about period blood, etc).And I am not over the beautifully human feeling of attraction. Women are awesome © and it’s easy to fall in love every second so I ain’t mad at the single life either. I don’t understand holding down a relationship and actively cheating; relationship themselves are so much work that if you’ve got time to curate a whole single life odds are the relationship side is going to be sorely lacking



*It’s why I always found the ‘im a nice guy/im a woman who has it all together, why can’t I find someone’ arguments interesting just because half the mofos I know who believe that are inherently bad people.partner.