so this shit just happened....


A month and a half ago an old manager who still works for the company but is leading a different department forwards an email about a 3 day conference DIRECTLY having to do with my industry and profession. "You should look into this...this looks great." I received the same email but did not even think about asking to go because I knew it would be nothing but fuckery.

I forward the email and ask my direct manager "this looks great, I should go, can we expense this?"

He says, "oh, yeah, um, ask my manager about it"

I ask his manager, his manager says "Oh, yeah, um, ask YOUR manager about it"

3 weeks ago I ask again, and my manager says "oh, yeah, um, forward me that email again"

No response. I ask him again in person 4 days after that email. He says "Oh, yeah, um...forward that email again"

2 weeks ago I forward the email again this time with supporting arguments why in the fuck I should go and why it will benefit the company.

1 week ago I ask again, he says "oh, um, yeah...let me re-read that email"

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

Towards the end I just said "I NEED a yes or no from you." A "no" is not going to ruin my day, NOT SAYING anything is what fucks me up. The lack of communication shows me where I stand.

We had a meeting yesterday and I just pinned him up against the wall and this dude says...

"Yeah, well I went to a conference last year and it was a waste of time. This is like, 2 or 3 thousand dollars to send you out there for 3 days...whats the benefit, none of the stuff applies."

So I pushed back and pushed back and even went through each and every workshop that was presented. "Oh look at this workshop...looks like it has EVERYTHING to do with EVERYTHING I DO HERE"

he kept saying

"Yeah, I don't see the value in it...whats the benefit?"

MOTHERFUCKER. The benefit is that I will become better at my job. How you gonna say "I get that this for professional development....but whats the benefit?"

The benefit is me developing professionally. And how are you going to say all of it is a waste of time, nigga, do you even DO what it is I DO on the daily?

"yeah well, I think its a waste of time..I don't know about flying you out there for 3 days" Which, ok, I also suspect some trust issues going down, like, does he expect me to go wild with hookers and blow?

I'm sick of this shit and I'm getting burnt out. I already hate the way shit is done here and I'm tired of feeling so under appreciated and strangely well compensated

This place routinely drops 50k, 250k, 1mm on horrible, outdated, shit ass software that NO ONE WANTS TO USE which means a total waste of money and yet this fool is looking at me like a slave talking about freedom when I'm asking about something that will benefit the company. They burn through money like its going out of style and yet...a request like this is like the most difficult ask.


I want to drink.

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https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me