My nana is singing softly in her bedroom....

I really should put this sidekick down and find my old voice recorder from school.

This *needs* to be recorded....

Just like the convo me and pops had when he was helping me pack for school. I still play it from time to time, when I really miss him....

Nana's slipping from us, y'all. As of late, she's in a stage of child like dementia, for the most part she's cool -but sometimes I catch her peeking at me as if she's seeing me for the first time. She calls me "my baby's baby"...

I am secure enough in my insecurity to say that I don't know how to approach her sometimes. I really have to fight the urge to not even try to relate. She won't be here forever, and if she goes to her grave without me trying to reach out on a consistant basis, I'll feel like a heel for real.

This is so hard. When I try to reach, she withdraws like a child avoiding a stranger. I constantly tell myself "this isn't her fault", but it still makes it a daunting task.

Found the recorder, but I don't have batteries. And she is still singing...

I'll buy some tomorrow, and pray that the song stays in her heart for at least another day.

if yours is still around, tell grandma you love her




~!~

"Holy Smurf!!! Hefty's been smurfing steroids!!!"

at the end of the day, though...