“My grandmother taught me about self-pleasuring because she wanted me to know that that pleasure was from me,” she said. “She didn’t want me to fall into the hands of a man and if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him. She taught me at 9! At 9!” - Jada Pinket Smith



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

that's not something you film and let us know about Jada

Got to learn somehow.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

seems a lil early, but eh.

never.

to teach about that stuff.

1. your nine year old daughter says "daddy, what is masturbation?" what is your response?

2. you walk into your nine year old daughter's room, and she jumps up from the bed suddenly...you ask why and she says she was touching herself and she's sorry and starts crying. what is your response?

d

>1. your nine year old daughter says "daddy, what is
>masturbation?" what is your response?

I answer the question at the level I think she can understand.

>
>2. you walk into your nine year old daughter's room, and she
>jumps up from the bed suddenly...you ask why and she says she
>was touching herself and she's sorry and starts crying. what
>is your response?
>

let her know there's nothing to be ashamed up and that's her body. although, I might need her to go to sleep depending on the time.


I'm not afraid to talk about sex with a child. I have a son and daughter. I bought her an anatomy book when she was maybe 5-6. she'd ask questions. I answer them.

when my daughter younger was and would ride in the grocery cart, she'd slide herself forward. at first, I stopped her because I didn't know what she was doing. once I figured it out, I laff and never stopped her again.

we've had numerous convos about her being in control of her body whether it's by herself or otherwise. never told her that any of that was wrong or bad. it's your body shawty. have fun.

she's 14 now and about to enter high school. we'll see how this goes. lol. she's confident in herself and comfy with her rail thin body. she'll be fine.

meanwhile, my 9 yr old son laffs whenever he hears somebody say balls.

a lot folks have to realize that 'protecting' the kids from sex isn't always the best route to take. especially with girls. it continues the double standard between men and women.

I don't think I'll be descending to that level of negativity to make any sort of comeback tho.

.
.
Current Favorite Song: https://youtu.be/8v_KFHnPImY

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

They got some talent. But they're strange as hell.

but they are all weird.

think of all the 'mistakes' that working black folk can't 'afford' to make

Don’t get me wrong, we prolly all heard wild shit from an old head or an uncle at a young age...

but most of us didn’t repeat like it was gems.

there was so much mystery surrounding sex/adulthood/parenting when I was younger, and I think I'm more open with my children for that reason.

I'd rather you KNOW from ME than to hear some BULLSHIT on the street.

I'm sure my MIL told my stepdaughter some heavy $hit.

If ever some slick-talking 'Charles'-ass dude tryna run game, on some 'dont you like the way I make you feel, baby?' that young lady will know that she can create that feeling within herself....

particularly for girls and women

it needs to be demystified. sex is a normal part of life and conversations about it should start as young as possible and be as normal as convos about pee, poop, eating...everything else that is germane to human existence

folks are so steeped in puritanical thinking that they can't see this.

d

BRUH you joined this precisely because you're weird AF

It's not like she was doing it TO her granddaughter.

and I think it’s inappropriate and reckless to tell folks this shit today.

but my brother is 2.5 years older than me and was starting HS at the time, so we got the talk

The follow up question for Jada is...did you teach that to Willow...?

I know girls mature faster, but 9Y.O., you're in like 3rd grade

Getting a kiss was top of the list...

who's thinking about fucking in elementary school?

and is it even pleasureable at that age, having not gone through puberty yet?

weird.

I was in 4th grade the first time I remember a girl in my class getting breasts. And I don't think it's a bad thing to at least know the basics a year or two before it's going to start. Like, I don't know a single woman around my age (34) that learned about that in a "good" way. It was all either on accident or the internet or if they were lucky an older/more experienced friend. It's not really a thing that got talked about the way it's talked about for boys. Then you wonder how women get to be in their 20's without knowing that sex is a thing they're supposed to actually enjoy, too.

Not saying I would've wanted to hear about this from a grandparent necessarily, but I'm not sure why this is so scandalous to people.

but telling a 4th grader how to squeeze them while pleasuring themselves isn't a good look

it's the heavy religious based shaming and mystification of sex that begins at a very young. Take that away is the answer IMO....

Nobody really needs to be TAUGHT how to do something that's as natural as enjoying any other thing that our human brains translate to pleasure.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

But we don't, so they do.

I guess it's easy to take the bait in the OP without any context

it does make it sound like Granny was giving a tutorial

if what she meant was, she got the sex talk from granny when she was 9, and said talk covered masturbation...ehh, that's not that far out IMO

the OP as presented leaves so many questions on the table, which makes the whole post problematic

appreciate the insight though.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

But my reaction on hearing a kid knows what masturbation is isn't to yell "LOCK HER UP CHILD MOLESTOR" either.

Like, people still defend R Kelly on here but THIS is where they draw the line?

http://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13257459&mesg_id=13257459&page=5#13258323

that's pointing out Spotify's move was a slippery slope that opened a huge can of worms they weren't ready to address given the industry they are in...

and they backed off for obvious reasons

If you need nuance and "let's not get ahead of ourselves" with R Kelly but are immediately willing to call this woman a child molester, that's something.

consider being an advocate for.
Logistics of even HOW to do that aside....
Just seems like more attempts to normalize what is likely "mild" child molestation at best....
But y'all gone and let Jada Pinket Smith cook doe....

cause a lot of that shit will have you sounding skeevy as hell.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>Just seems like more attempts to normalize what is likely
>"mild" child molestation at best....

Why does your mind immediately go to "her grandma was touching her?" Is there anything actually suggesting this? Or is it just projection on your part? Seriously, I've only heard this story form this post, so if there's information I'm missing, let me know.

they were pleasuring themselves because granny told how to do it...

and they reported it?

That word would probably come

I wouldn't use the word but sexual pleasure and 9 year old shouldn't be in the same sentence IMO. It sound right to me and that's why I think its a bad idea.

>>Just seems like more attempts to normalize what is likely
>>"mild" child molestation at best....
>
>Why does your mind immediately go to "her grandma was touching
>her?" Is there anything actually suggesting this? Or is it
>just projection on your part? Seriously, I've only heard this
>story form this post, so if there's information I'm missing,
>let me know.

Do the math.....
Jada is in her 40's right?
Which means she was 9 years old in the 80's...
Think of ALLLLLlllllll the things that were common place and considered ok parenting techniques in the 80's that are now proven to very much be the OPPOSITE of good parenting....
What is the likelyhood that teaching a 9 year old how to pleasure themselves was done in a way that anybody in 2018 with sound mind would clap to?

I'm being realistic here...
Am I reaching? Perhaps....but not much i'm sure.

I call it like I see it.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>Think of ALLLLLlllllll the things that were common place and
>considered ok parenting techniques in the 80's that are now
>proven to very much be the OPPOSITE of good parenting....
>What is the likelyhood that teaching a 9 year old how to
>pleasure themselves was done in a way that anybody in 2018
>with sound mind would clap to?

Like, what are these techniques that were common in the 80's that are now bad? Was teaching your kid about masturbating one of them?

those things are crimes now

Because the "spare the rod, spoil the child" parents generally weren't telling their kids about masturbating. It seems like a completely unrelated thing.

"her grandma was touching her?"

Those are some of the reasons why.
I'm in my 40's
I'm a parent
Retrospect is a muthafcka....


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

might not be cool now.

so Fluid thinks this falls under that umbrella of shit you don't say in public in 2018.

Letting kids run around the neighborhood all willy nilly,
shit..I could go on...but no need to really


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

I don't know what exactly her grandma said to her and of course there are inappropriate ways to talk to kids about this. I'm sure plenty of parents have probably warped their kids trying to be open with them before they were ready.

But it doesn't appear that this was the case here. This was clearly a positive thing for Jada growing up. Yeah it's weird that it came from her grandma of all people, but how many people are telling girls of any age that this was something they could do?

what would make me jump to that conclusion....

My response is that I know first hand that a LOT of what I personally learned from adults in the 1980's was taught to me COMPLETELY wrong. The way me and the majority of my peers were parented, exposed to things, disciplined, etc. have been proved to be absolutely the WRONG way to do things.

With all of that in mind, that's immediately where my mind went upon hearing that statement from someone that's in my age bracket.

Just was answering your question about the reason I went there from jump...

My granny was a stand up woman for sure....
But my granny also taught me how to do snuff *shrugs* so I wouldn't smoke refer since it was illegal...
My daddy showed me how to smoke cigs *shrugs* so that I wouldn't be tempted to smoke crack...
It was the 80's...shit was just "different"...good intentions...wrong technique.
I don't share that stuff to glorify it and make it sound profound and wise....
I just can't think of a way that Jada was taught in a way that would be considered appropriate (or legal for that matter) in the 80's.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

(and I definitely remember some of the "well these are the ultra light cigs, they're not that bad" stuff from back then.)

But I've got no reason to think her grandma was touching her based on an anecdote about her teaching Jada about pleasure and I tihnk that was a really big jump to take.

you talking about flipniles post?

cause my Lena joke?

.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

Her words say nothing about granny giving her a tutorial.

What I'm reading is a granny that wanted Jada to avoid some of the baggage most women of previous generations carry.

I can sorta see how you might think "how to" but, in practice, most people figure out how to masturbate on their own even though nobody (used to) admit that they were doing it at all.

And if you think of the context of that video, it fits in perfectly with baggage that Jada's mother felt she was saddled with most of her life surrounding sex and masturbation.

offer some clarification...
because these sound bites are loaded with potential problems...

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>offer some clarification...
>because these sound bites are loaded with potential
>problems...
>
>"Get ready....for your blessing....."


And this kind of thing is why people don't have frank discussion on important topics anymore.

It's hard to think of all the different ways your words might be interpreted so alot of people just don't say anything because they don't want to have to defend themselves against all the different hot takes.

been passively dishing out over the past few days/weeks.

>>offer some clarification...
>>because these sound bites are loaded with potential
>>problems...
>>
>>"Get ready....for your blessing....."
>
>
>And this kind of thing is why people don't have frank
>discussion on important topics anymore.
>It's hard to think of all the different ways your words might
>be interpreted so alot of people just don't say anything
>because they don't want to have to defend themselves against
>all the different hot takes.

Celebrities have responsibilities though. This isn't something she just said off the cuff during a random drive-by interview. This is a pre planned topic that she discussed in depth on her new "talk show". She's very much trying to sell her version of parenting on the masses via this platform. She has a responsibility to do it in a fashion that presents all sides of the equation.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

her version of parenting. the topics are pre-planned, but the discussions seem free form.

to me, the only thing agenda she's pushing is to have open communication about a variety of topics.

that's what I think he means by selling it

I think when folks go public with their parenting styles like this it's because they want to have a teachable moment.

Modern sexy progressive mom or something.
Which I ain't mad at...



"Get ready....for your blessing....."

I just don't think she's trying to push the agenda of this is 'how I did it, so this is how yall should do it'.

seems more like opening herself up with the good and the bad.

Viagra pills and his little winkie wouldnt go down? I see how it is...

this is real.
she said it with her own mouth.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jada-pinkett-smith-willow-smith-orgasms_us_5b1fbf8be4b0adfb826de106

if we want Black people on the cover of white magazines

You let these folks make big money and then they get real bold with their ideas.

I'm not a fan of her parenting style but then again, most hollywood parents are too progressive and weird for my taste

please enlighten us with your progressive sexual wisdom.

conversations about sex and owning your body and self-pleasure (which is also NON SEXUAL) should begin when kids are toddlers...or whenever you start talking to your kids about other normal life things like pee and poo etc

because most people equate sex and sexuality with "fucking" and carnal pleasure and porn, its difficult for you to conceive of the fact that the subject is BROAD.

first and foremost, conversations about sex with kids should start from a place of teaching them about consent and about knowing/understanding their own self, what pleases them mentally, emotionally and physically. Being safe etc...how emotions play into it

its never too young for any of that. Jada didn't say her grandma showed her porn or touched her...and anyone who's jumping to that is juvenile

disagreement that's at hand and it can be discussed maturely and civilly.
Not directed towards just you Damali...

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

mods know...

we good.

y'all work that shit out lol...


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

we have a love hate relationship

she loves me when I cosign her and hates me when I don't

i debate your ideas..the words you say. when you say dumb, sexist, cruel, infantile shit, I'm on your ass

when you say shit that's rational, logical, intelligent, I'm hi-fiving that shit. period

neither of those are emotional.

d

not like that but I love your honesty and passion even tho I think some of your views are batty as hell

stop acting brand new after the fact

you don't get to say dumb shit, get checked on it, then cry that someone else "took it there"

i don't give a fuck if this shit gets deleted cuz most of y'all in here have barely figured out how to NOT be sexist and misogynist so who expects you to understand mothers teaching their girls learning about their own bodies?

d

Damali sets it off cuh

https://i0.wp.com/www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/machine-gun.gif

.

I guess I can't

lol

it framed the post, immediately, in the negative. that Jada's comments hinted at pedophilia

you did not start out looking for a real/enlightening discussion or nuanced exploration of this topic

so this, omg lets chill be and civil! act now is disengenuous

you wanted a poast and you got one.

again, this is how the boards suffer without the perspective of women...a bunch of males still steeped in their fragile tunnel-vision view of femininity and sexuality discussion female sexual empoowerment will never go well.

d

exactly how I frame posts that are worthy of more in depth discussion & dialogue. It's pretty much been my posting M.O. for years now....YEARS....
Did you ever get a Zune BTW??

>it framed the post, immediately, in the negative. that Jada's
>comments hinted at pedophilia

Very much so.... And every news outlet that carried story intended it to be received that way.

>you did not start out looking for a real/enlightening
>discussion or nuanced exploration of this topic

That's simply not true. I don't waste posts on things that I don't feel are worthy for discussion.

>so this, omg lets chill be and civil! act now is disengenuous

Not at all. Anyone that has been around long enough knows how I post and how I do.

>you wanted a poast and you got one.

Isn't that why ALL of us continue to come here????

>again, this is how the boards suffer without the perspective
>of women...a bunch of males still steeped in their fragile
>tunnel-vision view of femininity and sexuality discussion
>female sexual empoowerment will never go well.

Then stay. No one is pushing you away. This post is pretty split down the middle with folks both pro & con on the issue. I've never been close minded to anything. My stance on things is ALWAYS evolving and transforming. I grow. I'm always open to growth where necessary.

>d


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

which is boring

who wants 100 cosigns, that how shit goes wood.

this is a great post.

>exactly how I frame posts that are worthy of more in depth
>discussion & dialogue. It's pretty much been my posting M.O.
>for years now....YEARS....

honestly, i don't retain that kind of info about this place anymore...im not here nearly enough to consider folks "posting styles", save a few of the complete assholes on here

>Did you ever get a Zune BTW??

OH SHIT you just took me back w/that...wow. um...no. i think i got a bootleg version...it was for the boys, who are young men now.


>Very much so.... And every news outlet that carried story
>intended it to be received that way.

yeah which is why i generally avoid them...why you gotta parrot that?

>>you did not start out looking for a real/enlightening
>>discussion or nuanced exploration of this topic
>
>That's simply not true. I don't waste posts on things that I
>don't feel are worthy for discussion.

that didn't negate what i said. not all discussions are created equal. you went for the lowest common denominator. youre free to do that, of course, but i'm just pointing it out.

>>so this, omg lets chill be and civil! act now is
>disengenuous
>
>Not at all. Anyone that has been around long enough knows how
>I post and how I do.

not me.

>>you wanted a poast and you got one.
>
>Isn't that why ALL of us continue to come here????
>

no. again, not me. i am not looking for, nor do i enjoy reading reductionist trash. sometimes, tho, posts are fun, or funny, useful or educational...i look for those.

>>again, this is how the boards suffer without the perspective
>>of women...a bunch of males still steeped in their fragile
>>tunnel-vision view of femininity and sexuality discussion
>>female sexual empoowerment will never go well.
>
>Then stay. No one is pushing you away.

Huh? how did you read "the board suffers without women" and interpret that to mean I said i'm leaving or am being pushed away? So now you haven't been paying attention to my posting style...lol..how do you not know by now that none of these morons have the power to push me away? I'll be around till the lights go out.

This post is pretty
>split down the middle with folks both pro & con on the issue.
>I've never been close minded to anything. My stance on things
>is ALWAYS evolving and transforming. I grow. I'm always open
>to growth where necessary.

fair enough. growth is always good.

d

of my posting style... "IF YOU DON'T OWN A ZUNE YOUR A DUMBASS!!"

Real talk though...
I got two daughters... i'm ALWAYS down to read info/advice on things/ways/wisdom to impart on them...
It takes a village right?

I'm still having a hard time imagining a good approach to do what Jada says her granny did... i'm all ears though!

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

and while I have no problem telling my 2 year old that she has private parts that are different than mine..

I don't think I nor my wife will tell her about pleasuring herself at 9.

>Real talk though...
>I got two daughters... i'm ALWAYS down to read info/advice on
>things/ways/wisdom to impart on them...
>It takes a village right?
>
>I'm still having a hard time imagining a good approach to do
>what Jada says her granny did... i'm all ears though!

There's a concept in Buddhism called "expedient means"....it has to do with teaching someone something gradually as their ability to understand grows and develops.

its why we don't teach kids algebra first...because in order to do it, you have to first learn numbers. then what their values mean. then how to count them in order. then how to add them together, then how to subtract, multiply, divide..then the concept of integers/place holders...etc. THEN you can do algebra

so similarly with conversations about sex with children...to repost something i wrote above:

conversations about sex and owning your body and self-pleasure (which is also NON SEXUAL) should begin when kids are toddlers...or whenever you start talking to your kids about other normal life things like pee and poo etc

first and foremost, conversations about sex with kids should start from a place of teaching them about consent and about knowing/understanding their own self, what pleases them mentally, emotionally and physically. eating is self-pleasure. playing with a favorite toy is self-pleasure. sucking their thumb is self-pleasure

all self pleasure means is PLEASING YOURSELF. as adults, we do that in thousands of ways. but because we were all socialized in a fake puritan mindset, we think conversations around self-pleasure are purely sexual. It should get to sexulaity, yes. But if sexual pleasure is but one piece of the pie of the conversation around self-pleasure, it demystifies it.

So when kids are 5-8, the conversations can progress, since that is when they begin asking questions about where babies come from. You can give them a little more info and they can handle it because you've already taught them the basics (the addition/subtraction)...they are ready for multiplication and division now.

they can start to hear you tell them that sex between two people is for adults but they are allowed to explore their own body in private and that there is nothing wrong with it...this prevents shame. Cuz trust me kids at that age are ALREADY TOUCHING THEMSELVES when you're not around. So how can it possibly be too early to address it?

If the first time your child hears about sex is in school, that's terrible. that's what conscious parenting is for. In fact, read the book The Conscious Parent. I believe it is the best book ever written about letting kids guide you in how to raise them right cuz every kid is different. There is no one way.

can also relate to the math analogy.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

i don't know how old your girls are, but if they are being raised in America and consume media, then they will likely have some idea around that they will go on a first date w/a boy at some point.

because the average boy is socialized to see a girls body/virginity/sex as something to "get" at some point, the seduction is always on. always.

and because most girls are socialized to be shameful about sexuality, her whole demeanor is demure...coy...then it becomes this game..this dance. the boy is exciting to her and she is susceptible to his seduction. the story her body is telling her is it needs sex to calm this heightened state of excitement.

But lets say you've been talking gradually to her, from toddlerhood, about consent and self-pleasure...and lets say she is so mature, that at 15, she decides to give herself a few orgasms, alone in her room, before that first date.

Is she more or less likely to feel the need to have sex with that boy right away?

d

5 & under...
but you just made the next 15 years flash before my eyes....
fear..FEAR..FEAAAAAR!!!!!!
lol
thanks for the jewels though.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

my job as the father is to try to get her to recognize game


but I know damn well once a girl likes a boy and shit you can really do to stop it once they are alone.

ain't no dates at 15 tho... not without me or the wife 2 rows back at the movies.

that's not a convo for a 5 year old or a 9 year old

“She didn’t want me to fall into the hands of a man — and if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him. And she taught me at 9!”

nope.. uh, uh.

>that's not a convo for a 5 year old or a 9 year old

yes, it is. they will

>“She didn’t want me to fall into the hands of a man —
>and if he gave me pleasure, to think that that was him. And
>she taught me at 9!”
>
>nope.. uh, uh.

yup. bravo to her grandmother...and hopefully her words will inspire more women to start teaching their girls early to value, love and control her own body, her own sexuality and her own pleasure, in all its forms.

Eating is also self-pleasure. travelling is self-pleasure. getting a pedicure is self-pleasure. masturbating and/or touching any part of your own body is self pleasure.

All of that needs to be demystified and you will be doing your daughter a disservice by not teaching her all of that. You are leaving her sexual confidence in the hands of the first toxic male that sways her.

So go ahead.

at least in MD, it starts in 5th grade and I turned 10 that year.... so it wouldn't really be THAT weird for sex-related topics to come up in school and maybe be discussed at home as well.

is taught in the public schools at the 5th grade level honestly.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

but of course you won't read/respond cuz only dudes can speak truth to power on here, i guess

y'all so fucking over sensitive about how i communicate but i can point you to 5000 posts of dudes talking reckless to each other, while conversing on important topics

shit the sports board is 100% that.

but let me talk real and directly, while holding y'all feet to the fire and its

OMG DAMALI IS SO AGRESSIVE AND SO EMOTIONAL.

fuck ya'll LOL.

d

Not stances that are "Right" or "Wrong".... just stances that were very much debatable.
I did actually jump in regarding the 0-100

>but of course you won't read/respond cuz only dudes can speak
>truth to power on here, i guess

I respond where I feel I have something to respond to. Those were all posts directed to someone else, not to me. I've responded to you on the replies that appeared to be directed to me.

>y'all so fucking over sensitive about how i communicate but i
>can point you to 5000 posts of dudes talking reckless to each
>other, while conversing on important topics

I got no problem with how you communicate. If I disagree with you i'ma jump in. You haven't really said anything that I 100% disagree with in this post.

>shit the sports board is 100% that.

I don't do sports.

>but let me talk real and directly, while holding y'all feet to
>the fire and its
>OMG DAMALI IS SO AGRESSIVE AND SO EMOTIONAL.

I am NOT my brother's keeper.

>fuck ya'll LOL.
>
>d

That's kinda cold though....c'mon yo...


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>>fuck ya'll LOL.
>>
>>d
>
>That's kinda cold though....c'mon yo...

"fuck y'all" is cold.

"fuck y'all LOL" is laughing...not cold. more jest-ful (yes, i made up that word)..like how you'd say fuck you when your best friend gets a good joke off at your expense.

not that you're my best friend or anything lol



d

lol


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

We got some VERY basic stuff in 5th/6th grade, we didn't get more in-depth until 7th grade. But that almost felt a bit late, people were already (allegedly) fucking by then.

Just making sure folks know what their parts are and what they do. I don't remember if they really even tried to discuss anything that most families could morally object to.

You figure kids are on the brink of puberty by that age (if some haven't already started) so, yeah, sex is probably on your kids' mind at that age to some degree so some guidance is necessary by then at the very latest.

secks was

her response is something that me and another one of my homeboys STILL laugh about to this day...

her response...

'Well Avery....if I take your p-nis ...and place it in my mouth...that is oral sex.....'

to this very day...I've never almost busted a blood vessel from holding in laughter to that extent ever.....


this was during secks ed of course....given by our math teacher...
who was awesome besides her snafu

another controversial topic came up in that very class that definitely wouldn't fly 30 years later involving the young ladies and who got their . yet
given by our math teacher...
who was awesome besides her snafu

SO I'm thinking what happened is Jada started her period, and her grandmother had a frank conversation about sex and matters related to intimacy and the ways things have changed now that she is a "woman".

The way she recounted the conversation btw them is a lil stilted, but it makes sense if you think about it in that regard.

I think a lot of men don't realize how sexualized young women, particularly young, urban women of color. How as soon as any hint of body maturity occurs in young girls, we are prey to the males predatory overtures. And in a lot ways, men ain't evolved and are quite the pieces of shit for behving in that manner.

Nonetheless, if you are a guardian for young women in any capacity, you have to make it priority to try and pass on knowledge that will circumvent the lechers in their life.

>SO I'm thinking what happened is Jada started her period, and
>her grandmother had a frank conversation about sex and matters
>related to intimacy and the ways things have changed now that
>she is "woman".

Straight up...I have NOT watched the segment. I only read the short article and soundbite. As MOST folks in this fast paced society have done. If she didn't....she should. To me that would have been a more responsible and productive approach.
Jada put the sound bite out for clicks & views.

>The way she recounted the conversation btw them is a lil
>stilted, but it makes sense if you think about in that
>regard.

I'll watch the vid.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

Just throwing a guess out there.

body hair, and experiencing other anatomical and sensory changes related to sexual maturation.

This is especially relevant to black girls since national survey data has shown that black girls, across multiple quantiles, mature sexually at earlier ages than girls of other races:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12509562

and age of sexual maturity continues to dip younger and younger, most dramatically for black girls:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17321422

But re: Jada's comments.. as disappointing as some of the assumptions made about her/her Grandmother are, like Damali said they really do shed light on how one-dimensional the general perception of female sexuality is - even at its mere onset.

For example, I'm sure if this story was about a boy being talked to about masturbation with a family member, this post would probably be filled with a lot of "I remember when my uncle figured out I'd discovered his tapes" etc, etc.

I originally wanted to chime in about the possibility that Jada's Grandmother probably caught her masturbating, and that precipitating the conversation between them.. but that concept may be too much for some of the men in here. I will say though, if that was the case, that her grandmother actually did her a solid by framing masturbation as something healthy, protective, and even empowering, as opposed to shaming.

I remember maturing sexually at 8-9 and being teased so severely about having breasts that I started intentionally hunching to try and hide them. I really felt like an alien for a bit back then. I would have loved having an older female family member talk to me about what was going on with my body and what was to come. I pieced things together via sex ed, old college textbooks around the house, and friends with chatty older siblings.

In black girls and/or otherwise

this aint cool for a 9 yo. sorry.
maybe 13 or 14 but not 9.

is she talking in general or something else?

like. this “pleasure”, meaning the actual “feeling”....”this is what sex is suppose to feel like”. or “you don’t need a man to have and orgasm”.

so like, maybe she meant that she’s in control of it.
or nah?

https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/578880002511479/
Actually a very enlightening conversation IMO

Shocking quote is around the 6 min mark

but TBH, it's not as shocking watching the whole conversation

yeah. it proper context it’s not shocking. That was a pretty damn good discussion. I’m not one to talk about sex openly but i can see myself in that format...

I got plenty of shit to unpack lol

is weird af and should not be left alone around kids, and if your rich ass marries her, don't have kids.

*she's* weird b/c she's advocating for adults to teach young girls about their bodies?!

FOH.

Anti-gentrification, cheap alcohol & trying to look pretty in our twilight posting years (c) Big Reg
http://Tupreme.com

If so, then whatevs. If not, then 'granny dont'

Hahaha.... nah.

What in the world is going on?


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Current Favorite Song: https://youtu.be/8v_KFHnPImY

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

I linked the vid a couple of replies above

It's a roundtable discussion with generations of female family...about sex

I never got the impression that granny was giving her a tutorial

It sounded like granny was TELLING her how to value herself

...it's literally a 5sec clip taken from a 20min conversation...

But the impression I got, was that she was trying to impress upon her daughter and friend the IMPORTANCE of having sex conversations...and trying to normalize the topic so it isn't so awkward

Folks in here would have you believe granny was in some type of sexual situation with Jada...here's your g spot...here's the wrong hole...etc...

I didn't think it was that graphic of an event...just sounded like advice from big momma IMO

Well in that case it comes across a bit better. Thanks for clearing this up.


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Current Favorite Song: https://youtu.be/8v_KFHnPImY

"I cannot see how nature could have created itself. Only a supernatural force that is outside of space and time could have done that. ~ Francis Collins

days right?

consent over sexual intercourse. My daughter will know that the most important sexual organ she has is her clit and that it should be respected and cherished by herself and whoever she chooses to share it with.

Girls these days are up against boys as young as 9 watching hardcore porn on their phones. Now, I've seen my share of porn and the clit is not exactly given it's due shine.

It's imperative in this day and age that girls are highly aware of their sexuality, that, while it can be highly pleasurable with the right person, intercourse is not the most important part of sex and that their pleasure is equally as important as their partner's.

This seems like something that would help a young lady make better decisions in the future. Allow her to own her own sexual experience.

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