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>like this. > >like, i know sometimes shit gets ugly, and i've known people >who have bad relationships w/ their parents. > >but, i'm still side-eyeing at minimum.
You really shouldn't, and not just due to my own experiences. Yeah it's a bit of a read, but I think it's an important subject, so please bear with me. Hopefully it's food for thought.
Toxic parenting is more common than most people want to believe, and I've come across a lot of people whose parents see them in a terrible light for the sole reason that their kids stopped putting up with their bullshit.
And I don't mean this in a combative way at all, to be clear.
But your line of thinking is exactly the sort of stigma that helps keep kids- both child and adult alike- stuck dealing with the sort of toxic, entitled parents who are often the ones who speak this kind of ill toward their kids.
Most people just cannot fathom such extreme levels of strain and toxicity in a parent/child relationship. It's foreign to most people, and there's a natural tendency to blame the child.
I've explained some seriously fucked up details to people about why I don't fuck with my mom and dad, and they still couldn't understand it. I have personal stories up the ass, and my mom, dad, and stepdad genuinely think I don't fuck with them because I'm the asshole for not putting up with a dichotomy of alcoholic, dependent, soul sucking narcissism on one end, because they think I should be their cab/atm/social worker, or not fucking with me at all if I don't oblige their constant need to take something from me, all while giving me exactly nothing of any value in return.
And I've given serious details, only to be met with standard retorts like "yeah BUT that's still your mom, some people don't have a mom, you only get one, etc". Obviously not putting that on you, just saying that people tend to make excuses for the parents that they don't for the child.
I also have a handful of friends and a few relatives in situations where their parents talk about them like they're the devil.
But in every case, it's just an adult child who's drawn healthy- but firm- lines in the sand on what they will and won't tolerate.
There are plenty of social media groups on this subject, and I've read and heard plenty of people talk about how they're seen as the villain by the rest of the family, friends who don't quite get it, etc.
In my experience, parents with kids who are bad seeds tend to be much more reserved in the way they talk about them. They might get inside the bus, maybe even drive it, but they usually won't hit them with it.
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