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That shit was awesome, as was the 7 day cruise we went on for the honeymoon. Then we got home to drama & bullshit. Some of you know Im in the process of getting custody of my sister because of said bullshit.
Its going OK so far, but dragging time wise. Whats insanely apparent to me is the difference in my sister. The first home they put her in was fucked up. My sister was acting out, and the foster parents blamed her for all of it. I figured she exaggerated some things, but when they put her in the second home, it was a night and day change. She doesnt even *feel* angry. No behavioral issues whatsoever. She feels happier then she has in ages. The FP just treats her well, gives her her space, feeds her (which was a major issue both with my mom/ her dad and the previous FP) and the home is quiet and calm and theres no drinking going on 24/7. Shes doing far better than expected.
Its also obvious how much she has lacked over the years. We went to IHOP for one visit, and she had no clue what to do with the menu. She was highly concerned about the cost of her meal because she was worried about whether or not we could afford $9. She was worried a $4 burrito at Taco Bell one day was too much. In years past she never really took me up on invitations to restaurants, the movies, etc, so its not as though the opportunities werent there. I remember feeling the same way as a kid, thinking people who could go to Dennys were rich and all. She was kind of disappointed we couldnt get her a Christmas gift, but I explained we just bought her bed ($500 right there) to get her room started and her eyes lit up. The most recent court date was troubling though. The lawyers for my mom and sisters dad recommended overnight visits and weekends, unsupervised. I currently have no say in any of that. Theres NO way that should happen. I know for a fact they still drink heavily and the environment is identical to the one that generated this whole mess. The judge didnt accept that request but determined that reunification services would be given. This is after the judge acknowledged the long ass history of this bullshit. Shes been in 4 drug treatment programs that she never completed, been arrested handfuls of times , ALL alcohol or drug related. She lost 5 kids and reunified with only one before having him removed soon after for more drug activity (hes now bouncing from prison to county to mental institutions).
Hell, Christina was removed at birth due to meth in her blood stream. She was the fourth of my siblings (4 of the final 5) removed at birth for that exact reason. WHY the FUCK are they still trying to work with her and giving her more chances after having 11 kids, two SIDS deaths, all but one going to foster care at one point or another, and 23 documented years of the same bullshit over and over again?
Further, they recommended an inpatient drug treatment program for my mom, and in court she was all up for it. She gets home and tells my other sister theres no way shes doing that because she wont get to see Christina (the one in foster care). I mean. This is indicative of the whole damn problem. Anyhow the overall process is going well but the holidays were a bad time for getting shit done. Once I have her in our home though, my wife and I will be fighting tooth and nail for legal guardianship.
My brother hung himself on Christmas Eve, but was found in the bathroom before it was too late. Hes all kinds of fucked up right now. Hes on some GTA shit with a biker gang (Vagos) wanting to kill him for suspected snitching, an affiliated skinhead group that happened into the situation during a fight, a latino gang trying to kill him for allegedly killing one of theirs (thats a mess all by itself and connected to the Vagos situation). Its real, real fucked up. Hes burned all of his bridges, barely eats, sleeps wherever the fuck he can. He told me he just wakes up and walks in one direction until he cant walk anymore, turns, and does it again. I hate this situation and I love him to death but theres no way Ill have him around my wife and daughter and I know he and I will come to blows at some point. I tried as much as I could for a long time and gave up for good a couple years ago after getting burnt one time too many. Ive given him cash a time or two, bought him an mp3 player and whatnot but thats where my involvement ends.
Anyhow I talked to him for like an hour last week and talked him into finding a halfway house or SOMETHING and he finally got into Christian mens home. We cant talk to him for 30 days I guess but hey. So long as hes safe and in an environment that can actually help him, IDGAF what the circumstances are. Im incredibly thankful for that because every single days since Christmas Eve Ive been waiting for a phone call saying hes been murdered or killed himself. Just a real heavy burden on my heart and that's been pretty hard. Then I think about Radin, and Id kinda like to beat the shit out of the next person that says kill yourself to me online, but I digress.
It was such a fucked up postweding letdown, in the holiday season no less, but there were definite bright spots through all of it. We got my daughter a little Elmo table and chair set. Ive never seen a kid like chairs so much. She sits in a kids chair and this smile of contentment and joy is unlike any smile Ive ever seen on her. We also got her a small play tent that she loves. I got my wife a juicer and a Kindle Fire and shes ecstatic. I got lol I aint get shit but a 17.99 Playstation Plus membership which is fine. Im just happy to have my own family and watch them enjoy themselves over the holidays. My wife dealt with all the bullshit like a champ and when I went through like two weeks of increasing frustration and just vocalizing every feeling of anger and pain and resentment she just listened and let me get it out. I think in years past Id be a complete wreck right now, but today not so much. Im still kind of fucked in the head because it just keeps piling up but Im holding it together remarkably well in context of the circumstances, and my wife and daughter are 80% of my ability to do that.
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