Threatening words
Are heard but I’d rather observe
Than take action but the voices still testing my nerves
I lash out eventually, enemies never get hurt
Because the enemy’s in my head, its absurd
Riding with my gun on my side feels like heaven on earth
Ready to squirt, clean guy but I’m stepping in dirt
It’s paranoia man, ya boy’ll take the weapon in church
Could’ve been dead on the curb instead I deserve
To enter the detentions center then prepare for the worst
Praying to God, I hope that my confession is heard
Might need to read Frantz Fanon, the Wretched of Earth
I question my worth in a cell and I’m cursed

Make bail, later on I’m committed to the psych ward
Doc says I suffer from delusions
my life needs improvement
I feel peace only when I’m snoozing
Introverted, feeling worthless, think I might lose it
My minds the cruelest
One second I think I’m the coolest
The truth is, I spend the next few days feeling foolish

Can’t eat right, sleep right, its hard to see light
Thought I left the hood but it seems the street life

Is where I might end up, its hard to keep my chin up
I used to want a pin-up model but the throttle been stuck

And I’m losing speed
To make matters worse, I’m using weed
Can’t trust a soul no matter who it be

Diagnosis, schizoaffective
you ain’t gotta have a MD to detect it
Most can tell I have an odd perspective
Gotta prepare advance directive
Therapy sessions don’t seem to provide much progression
Acceptance is the last stage of grief, I’ve learned a lesson
Can no longer hold a weapon and I don’t feel safe so I’m stressing

I can’t escape the violence
So I’m meditating in the silence
Trying to figure out the science
So that I can apply it

To life and entice my eyes to see new heights