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Subject: "When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely" Previous topic | Next topic
alyriki
Member since Mar 13th 2008
78 posts
Thu May-01-08 04:21 PM

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"When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"


  

          

when midnight leaves me lonely
today gets all up in my face beggin me to live for him
and tomorrows such a flake he may not show up again
but today's so unpredictable
never know what he'll do next
could end up in disaster or some beautiful sex
and time wont stop callin
but he keeps switching sides
healed me when i had fallen
was an ex lover of mine
but he kept running out on me
i could never go back
that's when i got stuck on this dude named past
some times i think i miss his
yellin from a distance
"you can't run forever, i'll catch up someday"
you would thought i owed him money
cuz he said i gotta pay
but i'm still learnin from him
still find myself yearnin for him
when midnight leaves me lonely

a lyrical kind
- Alyriki -

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
May 22nd 2008
1
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jun 09th 2008
2
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jun 09th 2008
3
Very Clever...
Jun 09th 2008
4
clever indeed
Jun 11th 2008
5
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jun 12th 2008
6
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jun 18th 2008
7
you did a really clever thing w/ the rhyme scheme and word
Jun 21st 2008
8
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jun 22nd 2008
9
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jul 09th 2008
10
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely
Jul 12th 2008
11
RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely (explained)
Jul 28th 2008
12
this was intrepid...
Jul 29th 2008
13

gsquared
Member since Oct 26th 2002
3647 posts
Thu May-22-08 12:08 AM

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1. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Time as seen as a linear thing does this shit...but I wonder if the past gets filled in later..cuz now is all there is...but I love this, well done..



"My turn to speak in tongues"

--Photosynthesis

"the unexpected takes hold"--Robynwildchild

  

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Jahlovall3305
Member since Sep 25th 2007
73 posts
Mon Jun-09-08 11:44 AM

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2. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

This piece is knockin at my door, standing in my footsteps..... Thanks.





I expect to pass through life but once. if, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.
William Penn 1644-1718
JAHLOVALL

  

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Babynoon
Member since Dec 27th 2004
2222 posts
Mon Jun-09-08 05:53 PM

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3. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


          

very original*

the messages are superb

thanks for sharing

(This account is inactive or no longer exists by user or moderators)




:hacked or spammed entry, do not responsed or send messages to this
account:: suspicious account or virus

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Mon Jun-09-08 10:16 PM

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4. "Very Clever..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

I Likes ...


A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts
Wed Jun-11-08 09:32 AM

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5. "clever indeed"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

it's good to read some poetry

especially poetic concepts that really paint a picture of moments made men

time is defined by man-made moments given names...I like how you broke down how they don't all treat you the same

good read

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

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nappiness
Charter member
1145 posts
Thu Jun-12-08 02:45 PM

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6. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


          

really smooth and an easy read. made me smile. put me in the mindset of jill scott's version of good morning heartache.

  

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alyriki
Member since Mar 13th 2008
78 posts
Wed Jun-18-08 01:41 PM

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7. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

thanx that means alot

a lyrical kind
- Alyriki -

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sat Jun-21-08 04:55 PM

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8. "you did a really clever thing w/ the rhyme scheme and word"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

usage above...

but he keeps switching sides
healed me when i had fallen
was an ex lover of mine
but he kept running out on me
i could never go back
that's when i got stuck on this dude named past
some times i think i miss his
yellin from a distance
"you can't run forever, i'll catch up someday"
you would thought i owed him money
cuz he said i gotta pay
but i'm still learnin from him
still find myself yearnin for him
when midnight leaves me lonely


made me want to try my hand at writing in rhyme again... i liked this. i didn't want to see it fall. peace~

----------------------------------
http://www.clutchmagazine.com
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318

Art is man's constant effort to create for himself a
different order of reality from that
which is given to him ©Chinua Achebe

  

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ASIEM
Charter member
4154 posts
Sun Jun-22-08 01:06 AM

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9. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

very intelligent and even very real there is nothing more inspiring than to have fresh talent with fresh concepts that work and reach and teach hearts how to think

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder




www.myspace.com/asiem61

  

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honestliar
Charter member
102 posts
Wed Jul-09-08 05:14 PM

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10. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>when midnight leaves me lonely
>today gets all up in my face beggin me to live for him
>and tomorrows such a flake he may not show up again

MY fav pt.

Nice. ~~Wow~~

Honestly

  

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Nowachaoticthing
Member since Dec 24th 2002
2178 posts
Sat Jul-12-08 01:47 PM

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11. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

You had me hooked from the title alone... the title by itself is a work of poetry... and your content exceeded my greatest expectations that was setup by the title.

that's the measure of meaningful work.


"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

My crappy blog: http://www.livejournal.com/users/eyes_of_mine/

Blind Eye Turning: My book
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759

My other crappy blog:
http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/

  

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alyriki
Member since Mar 13th 2008
78 posts
Mon Jul-28-08 03:02 PM

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12. "RE: When Midnight Leaves Me Lonely (explained)"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

When i wrote it i feared it wouldn't make any sense, but reading over the comments i was supprised at how relatable it's seems to be. I appriciate the feed back so much. i literally just took every saying about time i could think of and strung them together in a way that represented some of the real and fictional relationships i've had in my short life. Midnight is the poverbial relationship that eventually grows tierd of you and leaves you lonely, unsatisfied, and longing for what used to be. today, tomorrow, and time can be desribed as the admirers that you're sure aren't what you want or need. And Past is that one Ex boyfriend that every girl has. He's totally wrong for you yet he still has that something that makes you forget all the agruements and you done me wrongs and keeps you comming back.

thanx again.

a lyrical kind
- Alyriki -

  

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December2012
Member since Jul 28th 2008
249 posts
Tue Jul-29-08 08:32 AM

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13. "this was intrepid..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


_{^_^}_
'''"\\..//"''''
.....\V/.....
......\/......

  

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