as i proceed to my next class//
i see the most beautiful girl ive ever seen just walk past//
i gather my thoughts, what was i to do//
if i saw her again what words was i to spew//
i mean say, see, she already got me confused//
and i dont even know her name, the things pretty girls can do//
as i arrive at my next class i head to my chair//
nothing in my mind except visions of her hair//
visions of her fair skinned complexion//
perplexing eyes that mesmorize everytime you look into em//
and the legs of a goddess i wish i was being modest//
body of a model, man im just being honest//
i know i should be focused strictly on school//
but i dont want anything in my life except for this jewel//
the bell rings and i rise to my feet//
heading out the door hoping that once again we can meet//

feedback appreciated

dope. sell it. buy it. be it.
Choose Wisely

aww..
love loves a lover.
Good luck! But seriously, remember, there's more of that to come, so seriously, right now, the focus is to study and learn.

bless

~~~


my
blue
song
http://au.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/lilibluu/lst?&.dir=/blue/blue+thoughts+lunavamoloonerdco&.src=bc&.view=l

^This^ is really sweet -- And it's short enuff for me to take in and appreciate -- word for word! --

I think you're part of the SONO DEF and SIDE FX crew ... (correct me if I'm wrong) -- But I'mmma tell you what I told them already:

All of ya'll are using this // at the end of your shyt! -- Can U change ^up^ a little and do summthin' different?

Your work -- so far -- is the most original -- Subject wise and content ... But the format is the same for all of you -- with that // at the end of each line.

Individuality is the key in this freestyle arena -- So do something different, aaiight?

You wrote from your heart about a girl in school -- That's kool -- I felt it! -- Your emotional anxiety was all up in da mixxx -- And that's a good thing --


S T R E T C H -- & -- E X P A N D -- Your horizons!


I'll be watching U --


*Keep Going / Keep Growing*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

thanks for the feedback i really appreciate it,

and i guess we(Sono and Side FX) are just used to the // at the end but i guess it can be changed

but thanks again

dope. sell it. buy it. be it.
Choose Wisely

nice flow whizz and I see find myself doing this alot

"the ink of a scholar is worth 10 times more than the blood of armada"

Nice on whiz, keep it coming

SONO MEANS I AM, ARE YOU?...

-----------------------------------
book1|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.wordpress.com|this life
http://www.clutchmagazine.com|writing for more than food.

the bitter cannot live with the sweet.

keep writing and yeh pay close attention to photo she got a snapshot so clear her camera len's is connected to a satellite and watchin from inside our minds
feel dat?
in other words she gotchu covered she cares

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder