Heres yet another, enjoy, gimme your harshest criticism please, thanks!



Yo, the sun is still beaming//
Behind the clouds, catch the meaning//
Whether writeing or im readin'//
In my face, I clearly see it//
Like reflection//
See the sun shining, like connection//
I let my light shine, display my rhymes written collection//
Bring the warm feel//
Make you come near because its something real//
I just chill, light and rhyme tight with the massive skills//
You know the deal, you know the policy, we been through it//
High rate rhyme great, i try to do, so im doin it//
Not losin it//
Head to the skies, yes i pray for this//
Try to move this way for this//
Stay clean and think each day for this//
So i wont fall of, I mean quit shining like the sun//
Then things turn cold, and I break and fall like scattered crumbs//
And keep it fresh, at best, but i take my rest//
Take a sec, to reflect, then try not to make a big mess//
A rhymefest, i have daily, you're invited to//
Come see what it do, and i kick a rhyme or two//
Or maybe three, the fun dont stop//
Of flop, each rhyme scheme drop from drop//
As it falls in and sinks, i make a wise man think//
About where i got this skill from i do not speak//
Niggas already listenin, oh i hope that they know, each flow, is a gift, from one we should know//
I just go, continue on this wild escapade//
Hip-hop is saved, it's not time i let it rest in the grave

SONO MEANS I AM, ARE YOU?...

Yo, i know this not the radio or anything, but i got some shout outs, heh heh. Side Fx, Phenom Escobar known as L.O.D, Legion of Doom, our group, peace, i see ya'll joined,lol!
Whiz Kidd(Whizzy Mang)He makes the beats, and he can rap, peace to you!!
And two people who arent memebers but are cool cats man, Azim and Laissez Faire been like teachers to me, peace and love to ya'll!!
And everybody whos given support to the 14 yearold here on OKP, thanks,lol!!! I feel at home here too

It was on my heart to show love, i know i took up space

SONO MEANS I AM, ARE YOU?...

Heres another, i figured i'd save space harshest criticism please

ANOTHER VERSION OF THE SUN IS STILL SHINING:


Its feel kinda nice to have skill's, i could get used to this//
I think of the fools, at one time just abused of this, power//
Now i reign down like a shower//
A king in my own mind, raise high like a tower//
We all princes and princesses, kings and queens//
We all made of the same dirt, same body, same being//
Dont think because you look different you seperate from he rest//
We all red and gooey on the inside, ha, yes//
The only thing, that seperates us one from another//
Is some talents you have differ from others//
I'm here to say some good to speak, spread the word and preach//
And teach, the soul of another that can be reached//
And i ain't coming short, show my love and support//
This thing called hip-hop i share, with the folks over there//
And you precious with the soft black hair//
The sun is still shining,baby,the rays are everywhere//
So embrace, throw your talents up, with the grace//
Illuminate your race, make that creative space//
Sono, I am, one man, and i can//
Can you,with a little bit effort and//
I bet we could shine, put a smile on Gods face//
Make him chuckle at the beings he created, i just stated that the sun does shine//
Just re read these lines//
My sun is bright as ever, rapping is poetry, which this is mine

SONO MEANS I AM, ARE YOU?...

I don't know why there's no replies, these are lovely, and you should have kudos... but I hope you've also been replying to some others on the boards (as that is how these things work - love. revolving. critique and sharing).

These are great, quick, sweet rhymes. It is oddy to me how you say hip hop when the beat or way I hear them is totally reggae. Of course, that may just be me, but this is like old and easy, simple and sweet reggaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaeee.

And, the sun is still shining, and all is good.

Bless

~~~


my
blue
song
http://au.briefcase.yahoo.com/bc/lilibluu/lst?&.dir=/blue/blue+thoughts+lunavamoloonerdco&.src=bc&.view=l

thanks, i'm gonna try and reply to others more, i feel bad that i dont, sometimes, i just dot get around to it, thakns though, i'm gonna show more love

SONO MEANS I AM, ARE YOU?...

I don't have any criticism for ya -- ^This^ is a nice lil' flow with a trickle of fluidity -- So I enjoyed the read.

But ...

My personal dislike is the // at the end of "each" line --

I mean ... What's that s'posed to do anywayz? -- There's about three or so of you guys who do that.

You do what makes you feel comfortable tho, aaiight?

I can't really say nutthin', cuz I be (((doing this))) and other shyt myself! --

But I usually do it for EMPHASIS on a certain "word" or phrase -- I don't do it thru~out the whole flow, nahmean?

Find your own individuality and work with it to make it YOURS.

If you and three other guys are all writing in the same format -- How do we know it ain't all the same guy with four different alias's? -- (I'm sure it's not -- I'm just sayin' ...) -- But then, you ALL sound alike/look alike, based on the format -- So WHAT separates YOU from the other guys?

Like I said: Work on YOUR individuality -- And make it your own.


(((Keep Going/Keep Flowing))) --

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm