Wassup, I'm new here. This is just something I wrote a while back. So what do you think?

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change//
If I didn’t do something holy I would be in the devils range//
Grant me courage to change the things I can//
It feels like my life has started over and I just began//
And last but not least, wisdom to know the difference//
Gather all my thoughts, get them together and have a conference//
I needed to that off my back//
Now that I got my mind back on track//
I’m feeling good now that I’ve had a chance to react//
To the things that were on my mind that had me kinda distract//
I’m still here in good mind, as long as the lord has my back//
Praying to god every chance//
He answered my prayers, so now it’s time to advance//
He kept me here all of my days//
It’s time for me to show him how my life portrays//
Staying on the strait and narrow//
For me, there’s no getting blazed//
Flying straighter than an arrow//
Keeping my spirits higher than a sparrow//
My life is no longer in a haze//
God, thank you for getting me out of that maze//
The pain I went through was for this reason//
So I can understand life, now it’s an all out open season//
I’m better now than I ever was//
It’s like on the news, people wondering what’s the buzz?//
Side FX is back, on a brand new level//
I’ve stepped it up a notch or two, if you can’t hear it, turn up the treble//
Now that I’m back it’s an unleveled playing field//
So if I were you, I would be aware and keep my eyes peeled//
I’ve been studying, and got my rhymes sharp and to the point//
If you don’t like it, well I’m sorry to disappoint//
I’m gonna go ahead and end this rhyme abruptly//
I’ll be back, so homies, don’t disappoint me.

this is a brilliant rhyme, i especially love this part:
"It feels like my life has started over and I just began//
And last but not least, wisdom to know the difference//
Gather all my thoughts, get them together and have a conference//
I needed to that off my back//
Now that I got my mind back on track//
I’m feeling good now that I’ve had a chance to react//
To the things that were on my mind that had me kinda distract//
I’m still here in good mind, as long as the lord has my back//"

Welcome to the board, definately be checking for more of your stuff

Thanks man.

anytime man, i like posting a lot of my stuff here too, writing lyrics is a passion of mine, it's a way i like to get out my feelings and i could tell you were doing that there and i respect that, keep it up, it's always a pleasure to checking out other lyricists

keep doin what you do a word of advice when you write place quotations around words or phrases that are not your own, other than that it is plagerism not good for a writer.
your words howvevr held it's own and for that i say keep showin up and show up original
nice content much dpeth in meaning
welcome to these boards
you gave another perspective - yours to the serenity prayer

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder

Loved it. You've got some skills. Love how you took the serenity prayer, and made it fresh.

http://worthwatering.blogspot.com
Can it be I stayed away too long?/
Did I leave your mind when I was gone?/
It's not my thing trying to get back/
But this time let me tell you where I'm at-- Jackson Five

good stuff

----------------------
Cop my stuff, mayne!

My first chapbook: "This Chapbook Was Made With Pilfered Office Products" available now - $6.00

My 2nd chapbook, coming in 2007: "Orgasms and Ice Cream"

fmi: http://www.myspace.com/delrica

>This is just something I wrote a while back. So what do you think?

I think your work looks just like SONO DEF's -- That's what I think --

Do you think you can make it "LQQK" different?

Can you differentiate YOUR work from his? -- Make it your own personal signature quality work?

I'm sorry, but y'all lookin' like clones to me -- And I'm sure that's cuz you're young and emulate each other, but most of us are ADULTS on this board -- So how am I supposed to know the difference in you puppies? --

Does one of you have spots?

Does one of you have a grey or blue eye?

Does one of you have boots on your paws -- (dark feet)?

I'd like to see a difference in the way you guys write, if you don't mind.

And ^this^ flow of yours is a nice write, indeed! -- But it shouldn't really matter that you're just 13 yrs. old.

We've had several youngins' on this board B~4 -- (under 17) -- Yet they didn't bother to tell us how old they were, so we were pleasantly surprised when we found out, based on how mature~ly they wrote and grew with their writings (over a period of time).


You wanna hang wit us?


Man ^UP^ --


~~Keep Growing / Keep Flowing / Keep Going~~

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm