because i haven't had the
strength to love
you with my total being,
and you found my favorite
underwear hidden in the hamper
with someone else's scent mixed
with mine; is the reason
why we are standing face to face
with silence hovering over our shoulders.
i strain to be apologetic,
knowing my words will fall
on twice deaf ears, and weave
in between emotional punches
to my head. you haven't given me
a chance to explain, yet i know
there is none needed. i try to ease
past you to enjoy the sun moving
in our patio's furniture, but you
grab my arm and stare at me hard
with your green eyes.
there is an awkwardness about this moment.
how you pull me close to you and
whisper "you are forgiven," makes me
wonder how truly insane we must be.

love has no limitations. a scholar once told
me this when i was still learning
how to write. he confirmed that
"people do the craziest things
when love is involved. they forget
to think and only act. be sure you think
always before acting." i remembered
our first meeting. you looked ragged,
down-trodden, like the world just
finished a 12 round bout with you.
you fumbled with keys and begged me
to obtain a notebook you'd dropped
only seconds before our eyes kissed.
i obliged, happy to smile at someone
else other than my reflection. we
exchanged numbers as we walked
to a cafe' not so far from
our meeting place. i had trouble
saying your name at first, but you
told me it meant, "starlight,
heaven-bound," and from that moment
on, i remembered its exact pronunciation
and was a pro at spelling it.

the flashbacks stop and i am
back in a room filled with
hurt, anguish, and deception. i
walk towards the patio door,
secure my ass in my favorite
lawn chair and commence to writing.
you follow me, your head hanging
low, your eyes instant faucets dripping
salty tears on a blue shirt i bought last year.
the only thing you want to know
is "why?" and, i sit staring
deep into the sun taking my chances
on becoming blind and whisper, "i
don't know."

©Tremaine L. Loadholt

-----------------------------------
book1|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.wordpress.com|this life
http://www.clutchmagazine.com|writing for more than food.

"He that falls in love with
himself will have no rivals." -Benjamin Franklin

"and you found my favorite
underwear hidden in the hamper
with someone else's scent mixed
with mine;"
LOOK I DON'T KNOW WHY THESE WORDS GOT ME BUT FOR REAL I CAN SMELL THIS WHOLE PIECE
and for that matter self deception fanatsy and illusion all have a seperate but equal part in this state of being
and then the title "starlight"
MINDFUL did you make this up lol this is too deep tell me i gotta know! 3 alarm fire here

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder

tre...you really blew through it this time...i'm printing this one out and putting it in my journal...this is going to be one of my favorite pieces from you...amazing gurl....wow!....kima

if you didn't define yourself for yourself you'd be crunched into other peoples fantasies of you an eaten alive.

audre lorde

are too kind. *nods* thanks you guys. lately, i've wanted to focus on the female being the wrong-doer (so to speak) and the last 3 poems i've posted, i believe this has been the case. good to see you guys taking to them. peace~

-----------------------------------
book1|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.wordpress.com|this life
http://www.clutchmagazine.com|writing for more than food.

i'm not ready to make
nice ©the dixie chicks

it reminds me of this woman i use to know very well...it reminds me of a song too.

very nice.

I like the way you flipped ^this^ -- With the "female" being the villain (so to speak) --


Just when the "reader" thinks they got you figured out -- (Your writing style/your mindset/your format/etc.) -- you challenge em' to see thru a different point of view -- A different set of EYES -- a different perspective ...

And that's a GOOD thing! -- *No Doubt*


I likes -- I likes ...


*Ever Evolving/Ever Changing/4~Ever Expanding & Growing*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

lovely ... the mindset of a unfaithful lover trully conveyed

peace

i found my true calling, oh yeah after reading this 1 . .

they showed us phYsically, we could reach infinitY, but mentally, through the century, we lost our identitY
-Rakim

and what is your true calling?

and thank you, kindly.

-----------------------------------
book1|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.wordpress.com|this life
http://www.clutchmagazine.com|writing for more than food.

i'm not ready to make
nice ©the dixie chicks

Its like I always say....pain evokes the most powerful pieces.

And wow this was amazing

When I'm in pain I often obsess over the good times and that kills me.


Delirious gorgeous goddess whispers purple enormously

my life isn't nearly this interesting. but, thank you. pain does aid in getting the *best* poems out.

-----------------------------------
book1|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.wordpress.com|this life
http://www.clutchmagazine.com|writing for more than food.

i'm not ready to make
nice ©the dixie chicks

You already know I'm a huge fan of your work. This is no exception. At the risk of sounding repetitive, you have a knack for painting a picture and placing the reader in the shoes of the subjects. I can feel the tension and smell the whole atmosphere of this situation.

You're good. Really good.


"To be a poet is a condition, not a profession."
- Robert Frost

My crappy blog: http://www.livejournal.com/users/eyes_of_mine/

Blind Eye Turning: My book
http://www.lulu.com/content/187759

My other crappy blog:
http://inevitabletruth.blogspot.com/