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Lobby Freestyle Board topic #61808

Subject: "My 1st Haikus!!!!" Previous topic | Next topic
PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Mon Nov-13-06 10:39 PM

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"My 1st Haikus!!!!"


          

I thought I won him
It was me who had been beat
Can't you tell I'm hurt

Open your door please
Challenge this thought to help me
Make it tangible

Taken in by you
I succumb to your black will
It is very sad

How is it to you?
You know, the degrees of love
Drives you crazy right?

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
I'm not a haiku expert, but i liked it, for you to be just starting out
Nov 14th 2006
1
Thank you luv.....
Nov 15th 2006
4
never seen you here before now how is that? nice piece
Nov 14th 2006
2
RE: never seen you here before now how is that? nice piece
Nov 15th 2006
5
*claps loudly*
Nov 15th 2006
3
Aww thanx babe
Nov 15th 2006
6
Go 'head gurl!!
Nov 16th 2006
7
Hehe......
Nov 16th 2006
8
Good start
Nov 17th 2006
9
RE: Good start
Nov 17th 2006
10
^^^
Nov 18th 2006
11
i especially liked this one
Nov 19th 2006
12
RE: i especially liked this one
Nov 19th 2006
13
RE: My 1st Haikus!!!!
Nov 22nd 2006
14
G O M C S
Nov 22nd 2006
15
      RE: G O M C S
Nov 22nd 2006
16
           RE: G O M C S
Nov 23rd 2006
17
                RE: G O M C S
Nov 23rd 2006
18
                     RE: G O M C S
Nov 24th 2006
19
You need to post here more often.
Nov 24th 2006
20
Awwww thanx......you are right I should
Nov 24th 2006
21
Heyyyyyyy ... These Were Nice!
Nov 26th 2006
22
*Smiles*
Nov 26th 2006
23

Shakeet Lokh Em
Member since Mar 22nd 2005
3446 posts
Tue Nov-14-06 05:18 PM

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1. "I'm not a haiku expert, but i liked it, for you to be just starting out"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

"I'm scientific, but my reflex gangsta"- Black Thought

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Wed Nov-15-06 12:16 PM

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4. "Thank you luv....."
In response to Reply # 1


          

I enjoy them alot now....I dunno I guess cause I didn't have to put much effort into them lol

  

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ASIEM
Charter member
4154 posts
Tue Nov-14-06 08:40 PM

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2. "never seen you here before now how is that? nice piece"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you make haiku real
easy to read so do more
and i will be there

"keep pennin till the earth birth's your rightful seed then nurture it wit more ink..."
ASIEM
"Kuun fiyah Kuun" Quran
(Be and it is)
" A writer takes his pen to write the words again that all in love is fair" Stevie Wonder

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Wed Nov-15-06 12:19 PM

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5. "RE: never seen you here before now how is that? nice piece"
In response to Reply # 2


          

>you make haiku real
>easy to read so do more
>and i will be there

^^^^^Nice lol that made me giggle

I don't know how you missed me...I'm around!

  

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Instant_Vintage
Member since Oct 19th 2004
16853 posts
Wed Nov-15-06 07:16 AM

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3. "*claps loudly*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

very nice Pep. glad you did this. How do you feel?

-------------------------------------
www.nappyafro.com | www.soulections.com

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Wed Nov-15-06 12:20 PM

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6. "Aww thanx babe"
In response to Reply # 3


          

>very nice Pep. glad you did this. How do you feel?

Nice to see you came back to check up on me lol....I love em...can't get enough of em.

  

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Phenomenality
Charter member
31239 posts
Thu Nov-16-06 05:36 PM

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7. "Go 'head gurl!!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

;)

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
To change, we must face the dragon of our appetites with another dragon... the life-energy of our Soul...

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Thu Nov-16-06 11:20 PM

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8. "Hehe......"
In response to Reply # 7


          

Thank you mamas....means a lot coming from you.

  

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ToeJam
Charter member
2055 posts
Fri Nov-17-06 03:29 AM

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9. "Good start"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I can tell you are straining a little bit to fit the format; wording things oddly to fit the meter. Keep at it, it will become more natural.

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Fri Nov-17-06 11:14 AM

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10. "RE: Good start"
In response to Reply # 9


          

Hmmm I wouldnt call it straining...I meant for them to say that.....simple ones kinda bore me...it's like your just writing words down that don't make you think



Simple ones bore me
its like your just writing words
with no feeling there




I mean I understand the meaning of them....I guess if its not self explanatory it seems like im straining lol

But thank you for your input



>I can tell you are straining a little bit to fit the format;
>wording things oddly to fit the meter. Keep at it, it will
>become more natural.

  

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legalizeit
Member since Oct 02nd 2006
1053 posts
Sat Nov-18-06 03:00 AM

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11. "^^^"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

-if i had my way
i would've been a killer
i would have given them
violence, violence
and shotguns shotguns
if i had my way-

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Nov-19-06 02:17 PM

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12. "i especially liked this one"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I thought I won him
It was me who had been beat
Can't you tell I'm hurt

very much so...

*nods*

great 1st

---------------------------------------
the book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.blogspot.com|this boring life

are you living to leave?
are you dying to stay? The Jazzyfatnastees

la simplicite a son mieux...

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Sun Nov-19-06 05:18 PM

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13. "RE: i especially liked this one"
In response to Reply # 12


          

>I thought I won him
>It was me who had been beat
>Can't you tell I'm hurt
>
>very much so...
>
>*nods*
>
>great 1st

Thank you so much mamas...it came from real feelings....those are the ones that turn out the best...I'm sure ill have more to come because i haven't been doing well.

  

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MagJayRan
Member since Dec 12th 2002
1254 posts
Wed Nov-22-06 05:41 PM

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14. "RE: My 1st Haikus!!!!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you suck fucking shit
talk about ass fucking please
that's what people want

Mike-4
Dean-2
Rupp- Dead and racist

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Wed Nov-22-06 10:42 PM

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15. "G O M C S"
In response to Reply # 14


          

Suck my fucking ass
Im telling you it taste great
Serves yo ass a plate

  

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MagJayRan
Member since Dec 12th 2002
1254 posts
Wed Nov-22-06 10:58 PM

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16. "RE: G O M C S"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

suck my big ol balls
they fit in your mouth just right
please suck them gently

Mike-4
Dean-2
Rupp- Dead and racist

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Thu Nov-23-06 12:36 PM

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17. "RE: G O M C S"
In response to Reply # 16


          

Oh come on, be nice
I'm just a girl from Jersey
Getting her write on

  

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MagJayRan
Member since Dec 12th 2002
1254 posts
Thu Nov-23-06 11:15 PM

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18. "RE: G O M C S"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

i am so sorry
i never meant to offend
please do not hate me

Mike-4
Dean-2
Rupp- Dead and racist

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Fri Nov-24-06 01:17 AM

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19. "RE: G O M C S"
In response to Reply # 18


          

awww yaay...

Im all Haikud out
I was worried for a sec
Happy Holidays

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39803 posts
Fri Nov-24-06 12:16 PM

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20. "You need to post here more often."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

n/m

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

PS+ ID: KnowOne215 | XBL GamerTag: KnowOne 215

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Fri Nov-24-06 03:55 PM

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21. "Awwww thanx......you are right I should"
In response to Reply # 20


          

I write stuff everyday



<--------Love at first sight....even my tongue couldn't help forming a heart.

  

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PhotoSynthesis
Charter member
16101 posts
Sun Nov-26-06 04:44 PM

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22. "Heyyyyyyy ... These Were Nice!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I don't recognize your name, but then ... I've been away for a hottt minute.

Considering these were your FIRST haikus -- I'd say you done good! --

The fact that they have a meaty substance attached to the haiku meter rule makes it even more meaningful, nahmean?

*Good Job*

A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence --
I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/2/photosynthesis_music.htm

  

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PepperRutledge
Member since Aug 02nd 2006
3837 posts
Sun Nov-26-06 10:23 PM

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23. "*Smiles*"
In response to Reply # 22


          

I love that you enjoyed my Haikus...it wasnt that long ago i was asking how to do them lol

Yea I post mostly in GD.

>I don't recognize your name, but then ... I've been away for
>a hottt minute.
>
>Considering these were your FIRST haikus -- I'd say you done
>good! --

hehe

>The fact that they have a meaty substance attached to the
>haiku meter rule makes it even more meaningful, nahmean?

Yea mostly everything I right about has some meaningful behind it.....a lot of things I write come from strong emotion.

>*Good Job*

Thanx


<--------Love at first sight

  

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