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Lobby Freestyle Board topic #61112

Subject: "under" Previous topic | Next topic
marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Thu Oct-12-06 12:01 PM

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"under"


  

          

Plungin into a vat of deep
I see a figure placid like a figurine
a complete stranger grabs my peacefully flaling limbs
as a vacumn I rush toward the break

I WAS drowning
now I'm saved



www.myspace.com/marijaneraps

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
RE: under
Oct 13th 2006
1
Hey you....
Oct 13th 2006
2
      do me a favor: expound on this
Oct 16th 2006
6
RE: under
Oct 15th 2006
3
figurative
Oct 16th 2006
5
one word titles
Oct 15th 2006
4
Hi
Oct 16th 2006
7

KnowOne
Charter member
39940 posts
Fri Oct-13-06 10:44 AM

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1. "RE: under"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

hmmm interesting drop..... may I ask what inspired this piece?

Keep Flowin' Sis.....

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Fri Oct-13-06 11:16 AM

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2. "Hey you...."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

I don't know I've been somewhat pensive lately. On some fanatical fictional tip and that's what flowed from my extremities. In short....I don;t know. Could be Satyrical. Could be not. Keep shining though.






www.myspace.com/marijaneraps

_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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blaksilence
Charter member
1533 posts
Mon Oct-16-06 01:40 PM

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6. "do me a favor: expound on this"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

> On some
>fanatical fictional tip and that's what flowed from my
>extremities. In short....I don;t know.




  

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soulchild
Member since Dec 25th 2003
1272 posts
Sun Oct-15-06 02:41 AM

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3. "RE: under"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

just in my opinion...rather than tell me this:

"I WAS drowning
now I'm saved"

I think I'd like to gather this from the imagery of the piece.
that's just me.
keep on.

soul.

  

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marijane
Member since Feb 26th 2004
13093 posts
Mon Oct-16-06 11:27 AM

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5. "figurative"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

not literal...but thanx. Keep shining!



_____________________________________
WITH CUZ (STACEY) GONE, I'LL NEVER REALLY BE HERE AGAIN

I swear I'm a marry an OKP


Nakia Genevieve are my middle names... Not my attempt to morph Phenom with Novembersgift... But...

  

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mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sun Oct-15-06 11:27 AM

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4. "one word titles"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that fit so very well with the written work... this is one of them...

a complete stranger grabs my peacefully flaling limbs
as a vacumn I rush toward the break

I WAS drowning
now I'm saved

*nods* Peace~

---------------------------------------
Pinwheels and HulaHoops|the book
http://www.lulu.com/content/132318
http://msmind.blogspot.com|the life


Simple. l'Ame. la Soeur

  

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ToeJam
Charter member
2102 posts
Mon Oct-16-06 05:15 PM

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7. "Hi"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I just gave you a myspace request from my group the Philosophy.

This piece WAS interesting. The wording was a little awkward but the imagry was strong, nonetheless. Glad you made it out.

Peace.

  

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