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Lobby Freestyle Board topic #59341

Subject: "the accountant." Previous topic | Next topic
janejones
Member since Aug 11th 2006
2 posts
Fri Aug-11-06 06:29 PM

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"the accountant."


  

          

"do you?" he wondered into my palms
sweat, spit, sighs and pulse combine
his head my lap our couch
the door and window too far
the oven is not on, the phone does not ring
i have no excuse to leave
his question
a white gloved finger dragging across my chest
finding that dust has settled on this love
and i am not good as i thought i would be at housekeeping silk plants
our cornered canards neither grow, nor die nor change with time
just sit and mock our shadows as we continue to pass the threshold
thusly, i've discovered that laughter is too overwhelming for this empty loft of ours
the octave of a woman's glee tends to carry easily pass the walls and down the hall
to opening elevator doors
where not even the echoed thud of grocery bags purse dry cleaning and keys
can cover flower scented giggles that chase trust back to the first floor of our building
i have every right to remain silent
and continue calculating the change
in the number of morning to midnight cigarette butts in the ashtray.





"lying is the most fun a girl can have with out taking her clothes off" alice.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
i love the title
Aug 12th 2006
1
RE: the accountant.
Aug 13th 2006
2
so miss jane
Aug 13th 2006
3
very nice
Aug 13th 2006
4
Prologue: "Do you trust me?"
Aug 13th 2006
5
*creeps into freestyle*
Aug 15th 2006
6
RE: *creeps into freestyle*
Aug 18th 2006
7

mindful
Charter member
41306 posts
Sat Aug-12-06 12:34 PM

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1. "i love the title"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and the following lines...

the door and window too far
the oven is not on, the phone does not ring
i have no excuse to leave
his question
a white gloved finger dragging across my chest
finding that dust has settled on this love
and i am not good as i thought i would be at housekeeping silk plants
our cornered canards neither grow, nor die nor change with time
just sit and mock our shadows as we continue to pass the threshold
thusly, i've discovered that laughter is too overwhelming for this empty loft of ours

welcome... Peace~

--------------------------------------------------
Pinwheels and Hula Hoops|http://www.lulu.com/content/132318

l'amour est la médecine fidèle d'un dieu.

i think i feel my skin going scaled.
can i come up for air? ©amel larrieux

  

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ms mimi diva
Member since Feb 05th 2006
589 posts
Sun Aug-13-06 03:58 AM

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2. "RE: the accountant."
In response to Reply # 0
Sun Aug-13-06 03:58 AM by ms mimi diva

  

          

You managed to make what could have been a very contrived topic into something essentially real. I love the line about the silk houseplants. This rocked!

http://worthwatering.blogspot.com
Can it be I stayed away too long?/
Did I leave your mind when I was gone?/
It's not my thing trying to get back/
But this time let me tell you where I'm at-- Jackson Five

  

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invisible ink
Member since Apr 07th 2003
1083 posts
Sun Aug-13-06 11:38 AM

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3. "so miss jane"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

this right here:

i am not good as i thought i would be at housekeeping silk plants


was delicious...i love your writing style and i adore you name....i'll be looking for it more often....solid solid solid


miss k---------

if you didn't define yourself for yourself you'd be crunched into other peoples fantasies of you an eaten alive.

audre lorde

  

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sphinx7
Member since Mar 21st 2004
1391 posts
Sun Aug-13-06 02:51 PM

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4. "very nice"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

you only lost me with this line

>where not even the echoed thud of grocery bags purse dry
>cleaning and keys
>can cover flower scented giggles that chase trust back to the
>first floor of our building

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
self-preservation is the first law of nature.

***still rocking to mc safety & the caution crew***

perception is truth.

  

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janejones
Member since Aug 11th 2006
2 posts
Sun Aug-13-06 05:02 PM

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5. "Prologue: "Do you trust me?""
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

"do you?"

every story has a back story, to me.

i ask that you picture the scene in the following lines:

"the octave of a woman's glee tends to carry easily pass the walls and down the hall
to opening elevator doors
where not even the echoed thud of grocery bags purse dry cleaning and keys
can cover flower scented giggles that chase trust back to the first floor of our building"

i see a woman hearing another woman's laughter coming from her apartment. she drops everything in her arms and runs back to the elevator.

see it now?

"she has the moronic beauty of youth..." dan

  

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Morehouse
Member since Feb 25th 2003
7568 posts
Tue Aug-15-06 12:29 PM

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6. "*creeps into freestyle*"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


the most creative work i've seen on the board in a while..i'm tempted to post again.

peace


***********************************

myself is sculptor of
your body’s idiom:
the musician of your wrists;
the poet who is afraid
only to mistranslate
a rhythm in your hair...
-E.E. Cummings

  

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invisible ink
Member since Apr 07th 2003
1083 posts
Fri Aug-18-06 01:43 PM

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7. "RE: *creeps into freestyle*"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

and for that reason i'm uppin' this one again...because she sure inspired me on the inkwell...missk

if you didn't define yourself for yourself you'd be crunched into other peoples fantasies of you an eaten alive.

audre lorde

  

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