This is going to be in my next book entitled....341.... (more about the focus of the book at a later date) Refrigerator Poetry is still out there so go get it but the poem below is called...
50 Stars ------------ 50 stars burned white oh say can you see those 50 stars are no longer for me their for corporations cooperating with congressional tips deep up in pockets living in money clips
50 stars layered up through the mist of deep blue gallantly streaming for the top 1% of u land of the free home of the brave 9 to 5 workers ur trying to enslave
50 stars pointing to its broad brothers in red blood drips down flag poles for the soldiers who are dead politicians stand below and try their best to collect playing off of sorrows looking for the re-elect
50 stars shining bright into the dawns early light white collar crime reflects to the left and the right giving proof through the system that if ur an elephant or an ass if you pop that white collar u'll most likely get a pass
50 stars, 50 stars they stole them from us and now they've been sold in God we must trust that one day they'll return O'say can you see to their rightful owners that's u that's me
(c) 2006 Tony Washington
-T ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "rick ross got old african woman swag" (c)nayaa
but i felt it was too simple at times..i mean...too direct. i dunno how to say it it just made me feel uneasy poetrys as much about what u dont say as what u do its a hiding/revealing game to me... but yeah...did ur thing.
7. "thanks for your feed back." In response to Reply # 6
you really get me. i am a very direct writer. i am not one much for the "hiding/revealing game". that is just not me. i love playing with words though. everybody is different in their writing and what they like to read. that is what i like most about poetry.
honestly though, for me, that was a hard piece to write. i am glad it comes across easy.
-T ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "rick ross got old african woman swag" (c)nayaa
I gotta agree with others.. both that this was an incredible piece, and that the structure was just a touch simple in places. But I think that it works in this; its a bold statement that doesn't need fancy shit around it to get the point across.
Plus, this flowed really well. I could hear it as I read, and thats not really that common for me.
All in all, I give it a 9.5/10.
"What is done in love always takes place beyond good and evil." -- Nietzsche