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Lobby Freestyle Board topic #58397

Subject: "Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series" Previous topic | Next topic
Amira Muse
Member since Jun 22nd 2005
499 posts
Wed Jul-12-06 03:35 PM

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"Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series"


  

          

We were
stopped at a red
light. You were driving me
home. It was quiet and I held
your hand,


tracing
the dark spot on
your palm. You claimed it was
dirt captured beneath your skin since
childhood.


I thought
it was a mark
of stigmata. Jesus
seeping his way through the
pinpoint


black hole
at the crux of
your hand. Years later I’d
watch you sleeping, your body spread
across


the sheets,
mumbling prayers
between smiles, the darkness
of your palm clenching into a
pale fist.


©A. Dixon 2205

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'on wanna hear no yang yang from yo' transistor"-The Honorable James Evans

Reforming Charter Member since 2005

www.myspace.com/amiramuse
www.amiarmuse.wordpress.com

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
kudos
Jul 13th 2006
1
Hmmm...
Jul 13th 2006
2
A little bit yea...
Jul 13th 2006
3
      It was very nice...
Jul 13th 2006
4
           just noticed
Jul 13th 2006
5
.
Jul 23rd 2006
6
Impressive....
Jul 24th 2006
7
RE: Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series
Jul 28th 2006
8
Damn! (jumpin' like florida from good times)
Jul 30th 2006
9
RE: Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series
Oct 01st 2011
10

Unique1ne
Member since Feb 17th 2005
3102 posts
Thu Jul-13-06 12:02 PM

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1. "kudos"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I really like this.

DROKAYPLAYER -05

Fantasia Barrino- http://anax8a.pressmart.com/Bleulife/Index.aspx

Georgia Rule - http://artnouveaumagazine.com/blog5/2009/08/05/georgia-rule/

epiphany chrisette michelle - http://www.nxtbook.com/nxtbooks/bleu/2009spring/#/90

Mos Def E

  

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NinAnin
Member since Jul 04th 2003
15748 posts
Thu Jul-13-06 12:31 PM

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2. "Hmmm..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

...so did Jesus ever get into him?

I may not be saying anything that hasn't been said before, but I may be saying something that someone's never heard before.

  

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Amira Muse
Member since Jun 22nd 2005
499 posts
Thu Jul-13-06 12:44 PM

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3. "A little bit yea..."
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

I'm unsure about the ending of this, but hopefully i got across the love/worship idea.

thank you for taking the time to read

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'on wanna hear no yang yang from yo' transistor"-The Honorable James Evans

Reforming Charter Member since 2005

www.myspace.com/amiramuse
www.amiarmuse.wordpress.com

  

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NinAnin
Member since Jul 04th 2003
15748 posts
Thu Jul-13-06 12:56 PM

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4. "It was very nice..."
In response to Reply # 3


          

...visual. I appreciate your words. Thank you.

I may not be saying anything that hasn't been said before, but I may be saying something that someone's never heard before.

  

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Amira Muse
Member since Jun 22nd 2005
499 posts
Thu Jul-13-06 01:02 PM

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5. "just noticed"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

you sig. i love him! def ears has been on repeat for the last few weeks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'on wanna hear no yang yang from yo' transistor"-The Honorable James Evans

Reforming Charter Member since 2005

www.myspace.com/amiramuse
www.amiarmuse.wordpress.com

  

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blaksilence
Charter member
1533 posts
Sun Jul-23-06 11:14 AM

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6. "."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>We were
>stopped at a red
>light. You were driving me
>home. It was quiet and I held
>your hand,
>
>
>tracing
>the dark spot on
>your palm. You claimed it was
>dirt captured beneath your skin since
>childhood.
>
>
>I thought
>it was a mark
>of stigmata. Jesus
>seeping his way through the
>pinpoint
>
>
>black hole
>at the crux of
>your hand. Years later I’d
>watch you sleeping, your body spread
>across
>
>
>the sheets,
>mumbling prayers
>between smiles, the darkness
>of your palm clenching into a
>pale fist.

  

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KnowOne
Charter member
39940 posts
Mon Jul-24-06 01:47 PM

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7. "Impressive...."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Im feelin it. Your very talented.

Keep Flowin' Sis'...................

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

IG: KnowOne215 | PS+ ID: KnowOne215

  

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ms mimi diva
Member since Feb 05th 2006
589 posts
Fri Jul-28-06 04:13 AM

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8. "RE: Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

black hole
at the crux of
your hand. Years later I’d
watch you sleeping, your body spread
across



Lines are so tight, but not a word wasted. Thank you for sharing this.

http://worthwatering.blogspot.com
Can it be I stayed away too long?/
Did I leave your mind when I was gone?/
It's not my thing trying to get back/
But this time let me tell you where I'm at-- Jackson Five

  

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invisible ink
Member since Apr 07th 2003
1083 posts
Sun Jul-30-06 11:15 AM

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9. "Damn! (jumpin' like florida from good times)"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

dare i say what i like?

I liked it all...whew chile...but these lines run deep for me:


tracing
the dark spot on
your palm. You claimed it was
dirt captured beneath your skin since
childhood.


I thought
it was a mark
of stigmata. Jesus
seeping his way through the
pinpoint




it's hard to get my wheels spinning ona sunday(lol)....u killed it ...beautiful work....miss k

if you didn't define yourself for yourself you'd be crunched into other peoples fantasies of you an eaten alive.

audre lorde

  

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Babynoon
Member since Dec 27th 2004
2222 posts
Sat Oct-01-11 12:20 PM

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10. "RE: Untitled or Sleeping Jesus: A Cinquain Series"
In response to Reply # 0


          

up

(This account is inactive or no longer exists by user or moderators)




:hacked or spammed entry, do not responsed or send messages to this
account:: suspicious account or virus

  

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