She passed by Distract my attention Exclusive petal Best of today Got me wide open/catch you alone Southern wildflower warrior In her prime/legendary beyond midnight Spontaneous Well spoken Love slave realness Caught the blues Digging her/definitive high Kill me softly No doubt/devour Black thoughts Totally domination Wow factor Dominate notebook Cold crush/prestigious Crave her scent Unbelievable Notorious nutmeg Angelic centerfold Provoking slow dance Candles burning our wetdream Nearness Mortal combat Pretty butterfly Verbal intercourse Grab waist line/glorious days Go to distance Soon as I get home Ice water/wise one Left intense moves Down back spine renaissance Love language Dynamic/The Light/emotional vows Mercy Sitting here for weeks Spotlight on poetic freshness Ready to Die Vivid whispers Lately/Golden Lady Something to say Prisoner/sink into sultry skin Romantic life sentence Look forward to meeting you Tempt morning Eager to exchange screams You had me at hello Even though we have yet to caress Hungry bodies truimph
..
Deepthought
"When I hear wack rhymes, I get fed up"- Krs-One
"Even when I'm bragging, I'm being sincere"-LL
Verse One:
Could you tell me who released our animal instinct? Got the white man sittin' there tickled pink. Laughin' at us on the av
1. "RE: The Whispers that hold me captive......" In response to Reply # 0
appreciate ya skillz deepthought, good to see u still here . .
felt some emotional responses from tyrone Rembrandt bronze, gold, silver in a subculture they say boys don't cry at least in public classic ghetto descriptions of fiction some men internalize rage like comedy roles even when they say they don't cry . .
lifE imitates art -xxx
they showed us phYsically, we could reach infinitY, but mentally, through the century, we lost our identitY -Rakim
3. "RE: The Whispers that hold me captive......" In response to Reply # 0
Yo I really think you're onto something with this style. I think with a little editing down, so there is more story that the reader gets to actually fill in, the stronger it will be.
and as tempting as they may be, leave lines like these out... > You had me at hello
5. "RE: The Whispers that hold me captive......" In response to Reply # 0
What I like about your work is ONE can read it from top to bottom ... ~OR~ ... from bottom to top ... and it still reads cohesively! Besides the fact that your words invoke emotions, and tickle the senses!
Some things never change, huh? -- *smiles*
Glad you're still here! -- *Indeed*
A guitar string vibrating, a measure of my soul, a breech in the silence -- I've always felt like words come through me & I write them down... they have no master --- gsquared ♥
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