I’d hate to think there is something wrong with me… that I have something ill to do with my current life situation… like anyone cares.. or if they do care it is some pitiful plea to help me that is making it hard to live up to my own mistakes… like I didn’t fuck up. Like I’m the one sitting bitch so others can get the best seat in the house. Moneism and fornication living has got me in a bunch… all twisted without a hunch of what is really going on in the spiritual world. I am faint. I am like the light at the end of the tunnel that is slowly fading away letting all of the darkness creep in closer leaving a pin hole of light coming through to give me hope…. and it is all my fault… I’m the one tempted into the bed with men who are cute and funny… handsome and witty.. wow… they could never do me wrong… cus they are fine and nice and sweet. They hold my hand and caress the small of my back in public places while everyone is watching, wondering who is that guy she’s with and how did she land a spot with him and so forth. They don’t know that I am smothered by their presence. Tormented by their company. Held back by their softness and sweet looks. Spiritually I am dying cus spiritually I am allowing for vampire-ick love to come inside me.. plant the seeds of mistrust and the milkiness of dispare cus at the end of the night.. when the man has come quickly and burst outa there… I am the one sitting duck alone I am the one thinking why the fuck did I take in another bone that was sucked on by my mouth and rubbed on by my palm and yet… when the time comes for companionship I am the one feeling left and alone… fuck it I am tired of this shit tired of the shit tired of the shit I am I am tired of this shit that they be givin me like they know that I am seeking love in the wrong places and instead of taking the time to spend to putting my hopes at end before they dig into me.. they lead me like I am sheep to the shepherd that has lost its way… baa… blah..blah… I am the victim of my own mistakes… my own choices my own today destiny and tomorrow is bound to come again and tomorrow will bring me round again to face the same path again and I will face it head on and I will reconfirm that I am tired of the shit… so I can turn my eyes in the direction of the pin hole with light shining bright and I can flip my eraser to the long side and I can start erasing past choices and make blank pages for future and present life innovations so I can renew my mind and instead of making pussy and dick foreplay I can delve into the softness of my thoughts and create the type of world I need to live in, in order to feel alive and well. In order to be in love and well In order to be in Love and well...
copywrite 2006 January Martinez
<<<<<<<<<I take a thought and expand upon it. I turn it around and upside down to get another perspective>>>>>>>>>>>>
1. "RE: "Alive and Well" My need to vent.." In response to Reply # 0
we're all sad pathetic souls looking for absolution.. i feel yu.
~~~~~~~~ luv R. https://www.facebook.com/robyn.wildchild12 psycho. "Institutions encourage us to consider the opinions they sell as "facts" and that we "believe" rather than question the morality they pitch." cities need fewer shopping malls and more skat