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Lobby Pass The Popcorn topic #602942

Subject: "Dark Shadows (Burton, 2012)" Previous topic | Next topic
ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
43582 posts
Sun Mar-18-12 02:23 PM

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"Dark Shadows (Burton, 2012)"
Sun Mar-18-12 02:26 PM by ZooTown74

  

          

I mean, since nobody else is

http://youtu.be/6gDpoZsoufQ

Looks a little tone-deaf comedically

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and
Mar 18th 2012
1
I'd rather see the Depp-Burton-Carter sex tape.
Mar 18th 2012
2
So they camped it up
Mar 19th 2012
3
exactly
Mar 19th 2012
5
although i prefer the thicker version
Mar 19th 2012
4
looks horrible
Mar 19th 2012
6
The humor is as dry as the trailers would indicate
May 07th 2012
7
I would pay good money to see that movie.
May 07th 2012
9
I would too nm
May 08th 2012
10
LMAO, the William Regal line almost makes me want to see it
May 08th 2012
11
COMPLETELY uninterested
May 07th 2012
8
The 90s remake was my shit
May 10th 2012
13
Sloppy storytelling but saved for the most part by Eva Green
May 09th 2012
12
This was some ole bullshit
May 10th 2012
14
Tone-deaf is right. Weak sloppy storytelling, dull humor.
May 11th 2012
15
boooooring
May 12th 2012
16
Movie was awful.
May 14th 2012
17
RE: I was expecting stylish and stale and it
Dec 01st 2012
18

lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
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Sun Mar-18-12 05:10 PM

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1. "You may strategically place your wonderful lips upon my posterior and"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

kiss it repeatedly.




This works for me I'll be seeing it.
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JFrost1117
Member since Aug 12th 2005
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Sun Mar-18-12 10:20 PM

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2. "I'd rather see the Depp-Burton-Carter sex tape."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

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Brother Rabbit
Member since Oct 31st 2007
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Mon Mar-19-12 06:34 AM

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3. "So they camped it up"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Not really the direction I'd hope to they go. But maybe it'll be fun, kinda like how the Brady Bunch films were.

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lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92696 posts
Mon Mar-19-12 09:45 AM

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5. "exactly"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

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xangeluvr
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Mon Mar-19-12 09:22 AM

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4. "although i prefer the thicker version"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i will always have a thing for eva green. she needs a burger or two though.

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bloocollar
Member since Aug 14th 2008
18163 posts
Mon Mar-19-12 12:34 PM

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6. "looks horrible"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Mon May-07-12 05:15 PM

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7. "The humor is as dry as the trailers would indicate"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

If that's not your thing, well...

I didn't mind it so much, just wish that the story being told was better and made more than a lick of sense

This movie exists mainly for the benefit of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton, both of whom were serious Dark Shadows fans as kids

And it was their call, by the way, to "camp it up," as those here have noted

Except it's not really camped up so much as the humor's dry as a bone and the overall atmosphere is a bit dark (but not too much)

A majority of the jokes center around Depp's being the proverbial fish out of water in the year 1972. More than a few of the visual, "look at this weird thing from 1972!" gags fell flat for me but I and the audience laughed out loud more than a few times at Depp's delivery of insults. If you're a wrestling fan, just imagine William Regal as a vampire waking up in the year 1972 and you're almost there.

Practically everyone else, save Eva Green and Michelle Pfeiffer, were wasted to me. Chloe Grace-Moretz was just around to roll her eyes at Barnabas, because, you know, she SO can't be bothered to deal with him. Don't get me started on Jonny Lee Miller and Jackie Earle Haley, who both seemed to be there just to get a check. And I didn't care about the chick who was supposed to be Barnabas' love from back in his time as well as in '72. This is supposed to be the big story that keeps our investment in the movie, but it just didn't work for me. I was more interested in Depp acting fey (yet again) and walking around like an alien.

Listen, all that said, it's not a bad movie, it's one you could catch on cable (or Netflix) if you were bored one day and want to see Johnny Depp act a fool for about 2 hours.

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magilla vanilla
Member since Sep 13th 2002
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Mon May-07-12 09:15 PM

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9. "I would pay good money to see that movie. "
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

William Regal as a vampire waking
>up in the year 1972 and you're almost there.

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
43582 posts
Tue May-08-12 01:10 AM

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10. "I would too nm"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

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LA2Philly
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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Tue May-08-12 01:16 PM

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11. "LMAO, the William Regal line almost makes me want to see it"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

I was hoping the previews weren't a true representation of CGM's on-screen time and role....but you pretty much confirmed that she is wasted.

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<--The drought is over

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spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
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Mon May-07-12 06:28 PM

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8. "COMPLETELY uninterested"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Mind you, I've seen the original version AND the 90's remake.

I'm SUPER cool...

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13Rose
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Thu May-10-12 11:54 AM

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13. "The 90s remake was my shit"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

I still have to make my way through the OG. Do you know if the Netflix version is in order?

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jigga
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Wed May-09-12 03:57 PM

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12. "Sloppy storytelling but saved for the most part by Eva Green "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Pfieff-Dawg's best days are behind her (a place I used to crave crazily). HBC was servicable. CGM didn't do much other than make me think WTF once her character finally came to life. Bella Heathcote appears to have the chops. The movie constantly teases us as to her importance but forgets about her for quite a few looooooong stretches. It gets a pass when the times spent instead on Depp & Green (who steals it).

But then there's the little boy, the scumbag Dad, the business ventures & a buncha other stuff thrown in for bad measure. First Burton flick I've seen in the theater since Sleepy Hollow. Seems like I can't wait just as long for the next one.

  

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bwood
Member since Apr 03rd 2006
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Thu May-10-12 06:41 PM

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14. "This was some ole bullshit"
In response to Reply # 0


          

After the first 20 minutes it fell apart, had few laughs here and there. Long stretches of nothing happening. And yet I have a feeling this will be better than Battleship.

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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
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Fri May-11-12 11:22 PM

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15. "Tone-deaf is right. Weak sloppy storytelling, dull humor."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Good cinematography, production design, and music. That's it. Waaaaay too cluttered-- no stakes, really.

It's not really aggressively bad, just aggressively forgettable. Which is worse.

Glad to see Alice Cooper though. And slutty CGM is gonna make some pervy creep audience members very happy.

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benny
Member since Jan 15th 2003
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Sat May-12-12 04:08 PM

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16. "boooooring"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

guess I should've heeded all those bad reviews, this was pretty mediocre even with 0 expectations going in. All the "good" jokes were in the trailer, the rest of the humor was strangely off-kilter, even though there was potential for some good fish-out-of-water hijinks. I guess Thor stole all of those last year.
It just seems Burton and Depp made this movie "because they could"; despite all the stuff about them loving the OG material I never felt much passion. Some good cinematography and I did like the prologue somewhat, but the whole thing was odd. Like a slowly-paced rush job, with plotholes to boot.

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crow
Member since Feb 23rd 2005
4034 posts
Mon May-14-12 04:58 AM

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17. "Movie was awful."
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Maybe if there was titties in it I could have given it a pass. But nope, so, terrible.

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maternalbliss
Member since Jul 05th 2005
2553 posts
Sat Dec-01-12 02:45 PM

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18. "RE: I was expecting stylish and stale and it"
In response to Reply # 0


          

was exactly what i expected. For some reason DS reminded me of that awful disney flick Eddie Murphy did a while back called the haunted mansion. I guess great gothic/vampire flicks are a thing of the past.

Grade D

  

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