It's just for a small theater rendition of Eric Bogosian's subUrbia, but man. I stuttered, I repeated a whole chunk of my monologue, I stunk up the joint. I picked something out of my comfort zone cuz I thought it'd fit better with this piece, which as anyone who's ever acted knows is an enormous mistake. This is the first even slightly dramatic piece I've auditioned for since 9th grade, so I guess I overthought it.

Name some times when you've totally bombed. Be you a stand-up comic on stage, a writer turning in material that you know is subpar, or a business-type blowing some important meeting. What's the worst you've ever done in an audition/interview?

I went in to meet with Jake Kasdan to be his assistant on Orange County. The office was set up that there was his desk, a coffee table in front of the desk, and further back, a couch. He told me to come in and sit down so I walked in the office and plopped down on the coffee table. I could tell from his reaction that he definitely wasn't expecting that. I decided to stay and just sell it (rather than acting like I suddenly realized he meant the couch) but I spent the rest of the interview wondering what the hell I was doing sitting on the coffee table.

Another interview, I met with the boss and the meeting went great and she said she'd see me later. I left, got in my car, started driving away, and then realized that I was supposed to go see the HR person again, not actually leave altogether. I quickly pulled a U-turn and got back to the office. The HR Girl was like "Where'd you go?" and I just said I was walking around, checking out the office.

Another story, although not embarrassing for me, was the time when I was talking to a prospective boss on the phone and things were going well until I mentioned the script I was working on (an odd horror film) I could tell he immediately lost interest and minutes later he gave me the old "Just send in a resume and we'll see if we have an opening" (which was laughable since he was calling me because I already had sent him a resume and, in fact, we'd discussed my resume earlier in the phone call). Anyway, three weeks pass and I'm sitting at home and the guy calls me back. We start talking and he's offering me a different job and I quickly realize that he has no idea who I am and doesn't remember that he called me once already. I just repeated the same conversation, cutting out the mention of a horror script, and got the job.

----
NBA MOCK DRAFT #1 - https://thecourierclass.com/whole-shebang/2017/5/18/2017-nba-mock-draft-1-just-lotto-and-lotta-trades

>Another story, although not embarrassing for me, was the time
>when I was talking to a prospective boss on the phone and
>things were going well until I mentioned the script I was
>working on (an odd horror film) I could tell he immediately
>lost interest and minutes later he gave me the old "Just send
>in a resume and we'll see if we have an opening" (which was
>laughable since he was calling me because I already had sent
>him a resume and, in fact, we'd discussed my resume earlier in
>the phone call). Anyway, three weeks pass and I'm sitting at
>home and the guy calls me back. We start talking and he's
>offering me a different job and I quickly realize that he has
>no idea who I am and doesn't remember that he called me once
>already. I just repeated the same conversation, cutting out
>the mention of a horror script, and got the job.

The worst was when I went in for this After-School special, and I'm sitting in the waiting room with all these little kids. I see they're all signed in for the same role as me, so I check the time and place. I'm where I'm supposed to be. I call my agent. She says they asked for me specifically. So I go in. "Hello . . . Hi . . .We loved your guest spot on Baywatch . . .blah blah blah . ." Whatever. So, I start to read, and, I was money. I prepared for a week. It's a starring role. I'm crying. The casting director, she starts crying. I finish. I hold up my finger like "Wait a second". They sit in silence for, like, at least five minutes. I look up and they all start clapping, and now they're all crying. Even the camera guy. So, I swear to God this is exactly what he said. The producer says to me . . . now he's still crying . . he says to me that I was great, that that was exactly what they were looking for. Then he says it's just that I'm a little old. I'm like "How old is the part supposed to be?". He's like, he says this with a straight face, I swear to God, he says "Eleven." It's like, you looked at my tape. You saw my picture. Why did you call me in? You knew I was twenty-four. (What an asshole.)

Sorry, I just wasn't sure when I'd get a chance to ever quote that again. :)

You made it so epic for them...

then they just let you down.

Avatar?
E-Boogs and Nayi

MANHOODLUM
Most sig'd okp.
No Aliases.

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MANHOODLUM@tmo.blackberry.net

'THE GOOD WORD' on 88.3 FM in Pittsburgh
Saturday @ Midnight till 3 AM
www.myspace.com/thegoodword883

It's honestly the only interview I've totally BOMBED. I just had an interview today where I left saying, "Why'd I say THAT?!" but I didn't bomb it.

The New Line one was for an internship. I'm glad I DIDN'T get it, but in the moment - it was fucking awful. First, I was late to the interview. If you don't know LA - well, Wilshire Blvd. is a BITCH at like 10am. Theres Wilshire West and Wilshire East. I got off at the wrong one (I don't remember what that one was) and when you go the wrong way on Wilshire at that time...forget it. So I was late...and I distinctly remember being on the phone with my girlfriend like, "I'm not even gonna show up." She told me to, so I did...but not before I got a call saying, "Where are you?"

Anyway, I got there. I spelled "savvy" wrong on my resume, I answered questions like an idiot...to the point where it was almost an out of body experience. I was like, "WHO IS THAT DUDE AND WHY IS HE SO FUCKING AWFUL AT INTERVIEWING?!" When they asked me professional questions, I'd give responses with examples from my personal life. Embarrassing. Then they took me over to the bigger boss...and I did better with him, but still not great.

Then they were like, "Well, this doesn't mean you didn't get the job, but we wanna take you to the music label we have here." Bitch, I'm coming here for a fucking internship for FILM SCHOOL. What do I need a MUSIC DEPARTMENT interview for? When they took me up to the music department, the dude I interviewed with was like, "So uh, why'd they bring you here?" to which I had no real response. I mean, there was some other stuff in there, but these are what I remember as being just awful moments in a terrible interview.

Every interview since then, I've NAILED. It was that bad.

------------------------------

17x NBA Champions

crazy

Showing up to interviews 2 hours early with starched socks and a Bible under your arm.

Avatar?
E-Boogs and Nayi

MANHOODLUM
Most sig'd okp.
No Aliases.

MANHOODLUM via Twitter
MANHOODLUM@live.com
MANHOODLUM@yahoo.com
Tommy Moran @ Facebook
MANHOODLUM@tmo.blackberry.net

and to defend the music department, Emmerich started there. All their bands suck balls though.

Who was the big boss you talked to?


My interview issue is that I get pegged as "laid back"--thus "lazy"--all the damn time.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

pitching a joke, and having it BOMB completely in front of the live studio audience

Yeah, that's happened quite a few times

You'll kill the next audition
______________________________________________________________________
Yeah, fuck what these other dudes is talking
Thank you, Lloyd
for everything

I'm sittin there in a suit and tie...I took this chick Shirley, a fine little Columbian dime. I'm chillin, eating pasteles, chicken, and whatnot.

My man Elvin was getting married, and we all used to rhyme...make little tapes and stuff. I was the star in school. This was 91-94 Tampa, so it's not like now...where there's 400 m.c.'s in a single school.

Anyway, they're like get up and rhyme. I'm like "What? are you stupid? I don't have nothing written or memorized!". I could've went off-the-head, but this is a wedding...abuelitas and aunts there and all that. I'm not trying to grab my dick and go "in a zone" onstage.

Finally, I said I'll do it...so I jotted some cute lil'lines down, and figured I'd just KRS-it for a minute or 2 and do a little dedication. Read thru it a few times, and decided to go up there.

My boy was DJ'ing spanish music, but he had the "Flava in ya'Ear" instrumental, so I told him to play that. Man!!! It was supposed to be fun, but they made this huge announcement, tapped the glasses, and my boy and his wife came UP to the stage. ALL eyes were on me, on some "special dedication" type vibe, like I was Whitney Houston.

*gulp*

DJ drops the beat...

I got thru 4-6 lines with no problem. I even took a friendly little diss/jab @ our friend Chino who couldn't make the wedding 'cause he went to the Army lol The crowd was laughing...I had'em.

Boom!! After the 6th line, my mind went blank...I stumbled on the line, and remembered it, but not enough time to land on beat.

After that stumble, my brain went completely blank.

Man, I went into SOME off-the-head, Das EFX crap. lol Skoobida-bop.

After I was done...about 4 bars later...I ended the rhyme with...

"Fuck it! I'm done"

at a wedding.

Jesus...I still shudder @ the memory.

Avatar?
E-Boogs and Nayi

MANHOODLUM
Most sig'd okp.
No Aliases.

MANHOODLUM via Twitter
MANHOODLUM@live.com
MANHOODLUM@yahoo.com
Tommy Moran @ Facebook
MANHOODLUM@tmo.blackberry.net

LMAO

"Fuck it, I'm done"

------

12 play and 12 planets are enlighten for all the Aliens to Party and free those on the Sex Planet-maxxx

XBL: trkc21
Twitter: @tyrcasey

----
bshelly

"You (Fisher) could get fired, Les Snead could get fired, Kevin Demoff could get fired, but I will always be Eric Dickerson.” (c) The God

I've forgotten parts of a monologue in the middle of reciting it, so I started talking slower. I tried to play it off by acting as if my character was upset. That's the worst feeling in the world to me as an actor. When you know you're stinking up the joint, but you have to finish. Of course, I am auditioning for low budget-no budget indies in Memphis. You are dealing with the big boys out in Cali, right?

Sites that I contribute to:

http://www.livefrommemphis.com

http://www.geeksofdoom.com

I'm hoping that I'll work up the dough to make it out there sometime soon tho.

And yeah, I DEFINITELY did the old "pretend my character is mad to cover my stuttering." LOL.

... and like a fool i thought i'd switch up one of my lines last minute. Yeah. not such a good idea. Luckily the rest of the cats on stage knew what i was SUPPOSED to be rapping so they backed me up and i quickly got back on track. I will NEVER do that shit again. lol

Luckily that's the closest I've come.




VOTE DUMHI! http://www.okayplayer.com/awards
http://fuck-your.blogspot.com
http://www.myspace.com/insightclopediabrown
http://www.myspace.com/dumhi
http://www.youtube.com/group/okayplayer
http://www.last.fm/user/DawgEatah

your avi is hilarious, i love that kid

..|.,

If you still don't know what Jade Typhoon is, click here:
http://jadetyphoon.blogspot.com/ (WS)

and we look forward to reminding them of it.

____________________________________________________


Steph: I was just fooling about

Kyrie: I wasn't.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8OWNspU_yE

____________________________________________________


Steph: I was just fooling about

Kyrie: I wasn't.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8OWNspU_yE

As a favor for someone else I was allowed to come in and pitch 5 story ideas for a show (that's no longer on the air and I won't be naming). The problem was that it was my first time pitching. And at the time I didn't have a TiVo, so I couldn't stockpile episodes of the show so I could get a general sense of what it was like. All I could rely on was a couple of horribly recorded episodes from a co-worker and a Show Bible that was sent over for reference. And a couple of co-workers gave me general pointers on how to pitch.

So, I spent the weekend crafting what I thought were 5 funny, contemporary and compelling stories for this show. I felt I did a decent job with the stories considering the limited knowledge I had going in. I figured, well at the very least they'll find the stories to be contemporary, maybe they can buy the story ideas, I'll just take the Story By credit, and they can have one of their writers write the scripts. That's "worst case scenario," in my mind.

Anyway, Monday came, and I pitched to the folks I had to pitch to. To be honest, I wasn't that nervous. Initially. But the problem was, as I pitched, any *pause for laugh*s I had were instead filled with dead silence. *That* made me nervous. And at the end of every pitch, there was about a 3-second pause, which was usually followed with some variation on, "well, you know, interesting idea, but that's not really something our characters would do." Great. After the meeting I slumped out of that office and returned to work, and tried to play shit off like the pitch meeting went great and they loved my stories and would try to figure out a way to incorporate them into the show... bullshit.

But I learned from it, and moved on to bigger and better things...
______________________________________________________________________
Aight man
HOLLA THEN

I think that's what it was called, I don't really remember.

But man I was god awful. You saw it Frank, you can attest to this.

And I am not THAT bad of an actor, but if anybody only saw that they sure would think I was. Just awful.

- Dub

I give rappers the biz for being m-izza-a-archaic.

You had a shitty script to work with, that doesn't say shit about you.

please don't lie to the people frank, they'll never get to know the genius that was Guy Badtimes.

- Dub

I give rappers the biz for being m-izza-a-archaic.

A copy of the physics safety video we made.

Dude, it is so fucking hilarious. I forgot how funny it is. Hegeman STILL shows it to every class he has.

- Dub

I give rappers the biz for being m-izza-a-archaic.

Man, I guess in all of my stuttering glory, they saw something that made them decide to give me another chance. We'll see what happens. I got called back for the two lead male roles, and I'm still not terribly optimistic...

...if I somehow land one of these two parts, even after that audition, it'd be as big as Zeke coming back to win Coach of the Year.

V.

---
http://confessionsofacurlymind.com
https://soundcloud.com/confessionsofacurlymindredux
https://soundcloud.com/generic80sbadguy
https://soundcloud.com/miles_matheson

DROkayplayer™

and thanks for this post, too. this shit has had me crying i was laughing so hard, cause it's all real, and folks are funny when they recount these moments.

knock out the call back. good luck

https://soundcloud.com/djplainview

maybe it wasn't as bad as you remembered

go sooners

Change that attitude, mufugga!

What, is somebody gonna come in there and do better than you?

Hell no!

You already fucked up AND they liked you.

Everybody else hasn't fucked up yet, thus you shall kill your call back and leave all those sorry non-Duvalans in your dust.

- Dub

I give rappers the biz for being m-izza-a-archaic.

That's the most frustrating shit ever. I thought I knocked it out, and then I saw the cast list. What sucks more is everyone else is cast perfectly... except the role that I thought I had. Balls, balls, balls. Oh well. Guess that just means more time on OKP for the next couple of months.

____________________________________________________


Steph: I was just fooling about

Kyrie: I wasn't.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8OWNspU_yE

and Bruce Bruce was heckling me from the other VIP section.

It was worse than booing...it was dead silence...I could hear the mice behind the building picking through the hot wing remnants.

Oak was nice though; after the show he came up to me and said, 'Its okay homie, everybody has a bad game.' LOL

I told dude (very accomplished/respected chorographer)that I had little to no musical theater experience but he really loved my voice so he was like-don't worry about it.

I show up and sing the only Duke Ellington number that I know, "Don't Get Around Much Anymore" and the pianist mistakenly thinks that I'm done and ends the song early. I sang well but it was really short. They ask if I have anything else in that vein and I say..well I kinda know "Misty".

Only I don't know "Misty". I know Donny Hathaway's version which like ANY Donny remake bears little to no resemblance to the original.

After that trainwreck, I leave with my head down only to be chased into the hallway and chewed out by one of the casting directors because I didn't even leave any contact information. "I don't know how you think you're ever gonna get a job without even knowing to do that!"

I wanted to eat a bullet. I wouldn't even had been there if homeboy hadn't gone through great lengths to set up an audition for me. I bombed violently though.



I'm tired of the "worst song I've ever heard" being something new every month.
-okp simpsycho


http://www.myspace.com/livesociety