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Subject: "Slate's great breakdown of Zach Braff" Previous topic | Next topic
DrNO
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Fri Sep-22-06 06:37 PM

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"Slate's great breakdown of Zach Braff"


  

          

assessment
Zach Braff
Why is this guy the voice of my generation?
By Josh Levin
Posted Friday, Sept. 22, 2006, at 4:59 PM ET



Zach Braff has said that his hit movie Garden State (2004) was "a big, life-affirming, state-of-the-union address for twentysomethings." I'm a twentysomething. His new feature, The Last Kiss, documents the mental anguish of a 29-year-old commitment-phobe. I'm at the age when commitment looms. If Braff maintains this pace, he'll be making facile observations about our voyage through life's milestones until he films an indie-rock-infused On Golden Pond. My only comfort is that one day, we'll both be dead. If Zach Braff is the voice of my generation, can't someone please crush his larynx?

Braff is known primarily as a sitcom star (Scrubs) and an indie actor-writer-director (Garden State). His most significant cultural role, though, is as Hollywood's ambassador to the nation's cool kids—the guy who interprets youth culture for film execs and then repackages it for popular consumption.

Want a soundtrack that hipsters will buy? Braff picked the tasteful underground hits that are slathered all over Garden State and The Last Kiss. Want to use the Internet for direct marketing? Braff helped turn Garden State into a grass-roots smash by writing regular blog posts. Need to tap in to the thoughts and speech patterns of the Ritalin Generation? Braff's got that covered, too—he suggested additional shots and scenes for The Last Kiss and punched up the dialogue of Paul Haggis (writer/director of Crash) "to ensure that the characters sounded and behaved like men his age."

What has Braff's keen ear picked up about the nation's young people? If Garden State is to be believed, they spend their days squinting and staring wistfully while slowly learning that it's OK to feel and, like, live. When they do speak, yearbook quotes come out. For example: "Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place." In The Last Kiss, Braff furrows his brow solemnly and ponders a question that's paralyzed millions: Should I replace my incredibly hot girlfriend with an incredibly hot college student? This time, OC starlet Rachel Bilson gets the Ferris Bueller-esque pearl of wisdom: "The world is moving so fast now that we start freaking out way before our parents did because we don't ever stop to breathe anymore." Never has the voice of a generation had so little of substance to say.

So, why do people care about Zach Braff? Tony Goldwyn, the director of The Last Kiss, thinks it's because he has an Everyman quality that recalls Tom Hanks. Braff's adoring fans say he feels more like a friend than a movie star. The introductory video message on his new, Last Kiss-promoting Web site says that he doesn't "want it to be just, like, a site about me because that'll get boring really fast. … I want it to be about you guys, my loyal fans." The populist shtick works—as of this writing, Braff's got 76,072 friends on MySpace.

Braff's doofy looks also help him seem accessible. His face doesn't have the clean, angular lines that usually denote manly movie stardom. He's more like a Claymation version of a matinee idol, with pinchable cheeks and permanently raised eyebrows. His dorky visage and mannerisms work marvelously on Scrubs. We root for Braff's character, the perpetually confused Dr. John "J.D." Dorian, because he's such a good sport about always being the butt of the joke. Braff makes a great doormat—he can pull off both a quizzical reaction shot and a pratfall into a gigantic puddle.

The gee-whiz, aww-shucks affect that works for Braff on TV is irksome on the big screen. Perhaps that's because in the movies he only gets beaten down emotionally—it's much more satisfying to see him fall on his face. Though he's got a mug made for comedy, Braff's ambition is to be the funny-serious guy. He has said he strives to emulate Manhattan and Annie Hall-era Woody Allen. If nothing else, he's captured Allen's self-absorption. Watching Garden State, it's impossible not to remember that Braff is writing for himself and directing himself. As such, it's kind of annoying that 80 percent of the shots are close-ups of Zach Braff. It's also irritating, for that matter, that he created a role that requires Natalie Portman to fall in love with him.

If Garden State is any indication, Braff's weaknesses as a director go beyond narcissism. In the film, he piles on quirky details—a disembodied red gas pump hanging from a car, a guy in a suit of armor, a framed diploma on the ceiling—to keep viewers from scrutinizing his shallow characters and clichéd cultural observations. This is the kind of movie the Zuckers would have made if they used gags in the service of drama rather than screwball comedy. Braff also uses pop songs as a cheat, an easy way to heighten the emotional impact of otherwise unremarkable moments. The music in Garden State is so load-bearing that the movie becomes ridiculous if you swap in different tunes—if you don't believe me, check this out.

Braff is tapped in to how young people consume, if not how they think. Sure, Garden State and The Last Kiss resemble overlong iPod ads with less adventuresome music choices. But the soundtracks that Braff compiled for both films have been remarkably successful—the Garden State CD sold more than a million copies, and The Last Kiss is currently No. 38 on Amazon. It makes sense that Braff is so popular on MySpace, a site that exists so people can list what they like—friends, celebrities, music, movies. Braff is, essentially, an aggregator. His soundtracks are lists of his favorite songs. Garden State was a list of funny anecdotes and off-kilter objects rather than a cohesive story. He might not have anything original to say, but Braff does offer this insight on our generation: We are inclined to mistake stuff for substance.

Braff's problem is that he's come of age at a time when we want our stars—Beyoncé, J. Lo, George Clooney—to do everything. He writes, acts, directs, DJs—next time out, he'll probably lash a pair of cymbals between his knees. Instead of focusing on the one thing he's good at, Braff is quitting Scrubs after this season to focus on his film career. His rumored upcoming projects reveal two possible career paths. The first: the leading role in a Fletch remake. The second: starring in, writing, directing, and producing a remake of a Danish Dogme film about a woman whose husband gets paralyzed in a car accident. Please, Zach, leave paralysis to Lars von Trier. Chevy Chase—now there's a guy you should look up to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRH4gG5LmZ0

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Maybe he doesn't bother me because I'm not in that generation.
Sep 22nd 2006
1
wtf?
Sep 22nd 2006
2
eh.
Sep 22nd 2006
3
that guy is the epitome of "oh, he's just jealous"
Sep 22nd 2006
4
saying "if you change the songs on the soundtrack, it sounds ridiculous"
Sep 22nd 2006
5
      yeah, he lost me with that comment
Sep 25th 2006
49
           Extended warmup time in the bullpen of hate 2 come up w/ that
Sep 25th 2006
52
                Try watching Seven Samurai with Benny Hill music overdubbed
Sep 25th 2006
55
this is crazy haterish.
Sep 22nd 2006
6
i'm tired of "experts" allegedly "breaking things down"
Sep 22nd 2006
7
RE: i'm tired of "experts" allegedly "breaking things down"
Sep 23rd 2006
19
I love your avi
Sep 25th 2006
47
I'd be inclined to write this guy off as a hater.......
Sep 23rd 2006
8
Nah, this article is pure hate -- gives NO credit at ALL
Sep 23rd 2006
9
the article does seem a little unnecessarily hateful
Sep 23rd 2006
13
      Garden State is definitely overrated, but it's not a bad movie
Sep 23rd 2006
18
           Oh but it IS a bad movie
Sep 23rd 2006
25
Here's the deal about Garden State:
Sep 24th 2006
38
LMFAO
Sep 23rd 2006
10
I've never seen anything Zach Braff has been in
Sep 23rd 2006
11
Scrubs is a great, hillarious, show
Sep 23rd 2006
12
wait wait wait. have i been living under a rock or sumn?
Sep 23rd 2006
14
zach branff most emphatically does not speak for me.
Sep 23rd 2006
15
you're a twenty-something?
Aug 01st 2008
72
that's a whole lot of hate
Sep 23rd 2006
16
I used to write articles like this... you regret them after awhile.
Sep 23rd 2006
17
RE: Slate's great breakdown of Zach Braff
Sep 23rd 2006
20
it takes zero courage to deliver that hate
Sep 23rd 2006
21
      RE: it takes zero courage to deliver that hate
Sep 23rd 2006
23
           I'm not even a Braff fan, you miss the point n/m
Sep 23rd 2006
24
hmmmm....
Sep 23rd 2006
22
Even if he's an asshole
Sep 23rd 2006
26
Let's be fair: The Last Kiss SUCKS.
Sep 24th 2006
39
I wasn't a big fan of Garden State, but this article is lame.
Sep 23rd 2006
27
I hope Zach doesnt quit scrubs
Sep 23rd 2006
28
Disclaimer: No Zach Braffs were harmed in the writing
Sep 23rd 2006
29
People can dislike Zach Braff all they like. Just have the common sense
Sep 23rd 2006
30
      a hatchet job?
Sep 23rd 2006
31
           So hatchet jobs are now limited to personal profiles only? FOH
Sep 24th 2006
33
                man
Sep 24th 2006
34
                     Don't be an ass.
Sep 24th 2006
35
                          RE: Don't be an ass.
Sep 25th 2006
46
                               Let's just boil this down to the essence here.
Sep 25th 2006
48
                                    RE: Let's just boil this down to the essence here.
Sep 25th 2006
53
                                         See, once again, someone doesn't read.
Sep 25th 2006
56
                                              +1
Aug 01st 2008
68
After watching THE LAST KISS.....
Sep 24th 2006
32
if this is true, then i'm really worried, lol
Sep 24th 2006
36
But a fuck up with a great soundtrack for the Holister set. n/m
Sep 24th 2006
37
RE: Slate's great breakdown of Zach Braff
Sep 24th 2006
40
but is he really worth all this critisism? honestly
Sep 25th 2006
42
Exactly. It'd be different if this were Ashton fucking Kutcher this dud...
Sep 25th 2006
45
      Ashton Kutcher? Seriously?
Sep 25th 2006
54
           RE: Ashton Kutcher? Seriously?
Sep 25th 2006
57
don't front, you would have punch that fuckboy too!
Sep 26th 2006
59
I SAW YOU TAGGING MY CAR YOU LITTLE FUCK!!!!
Oct 01st 2006
65
Although the man is hating, he's also right.
Sep 25th 2006
41
DING DING DING!
Sep 25th 2006
43
yup
Sep 25th 2006
44
Hey Josh Levin, get off his dick
Sep 25th 2006
50
here's the thing
Sep 25th 2006
51
zach braff is, like, so hip.
Sep 25th 2006
58
i've never seen scrubs or garden state
Sep 30th 2006
60
but thats my issue w/ it, it's not quality hate.
Sep 30th 2006
61
      dude, evian sucks
Sep 30th 2006
62
           Mhmm
Sep 30th 2006
63
           perhaps, after two years in the can, this hate is still not refreshing
Aug 02nd 2008
74
those who can't do...hate
Sep 30th 2006
64
this shit is even more stupid with 2 years hindsight
Jul 31st 2008
66
i appreciate the "let's break it down" articles sometimes
Jul 31st 2008
67
Zach Braff is the silver-screen version of Jared (from Subway) to me
Aug 01st 2008
69
Sig worthy
Aug 02nd 2008
76
http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/4/4b/Neilflynn.jpg ^^^ this guy
Aug 02nd 2008
77
i love Scrubs and enjoyed GS, but Braff has become cliche...
Aug 01st 2008
70
meh. i've never seen GS, but I love Scrubs
Aug 01st 2008
71
i remember seeing the very first "garden state" teaser
Aug 01st 2008
73
He's a Touchy Feely QT...
Aug 02nd 2008
75

bignick
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Fri Sep-22-06 06:57 PM

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1. "Maybe he doesn't bother me because I'm not in that generation."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I mean, I don't think of him as speaking for all twenty somethings or anything like that. I just think of him as a goofy white guy with a kind of hipster, emo thing going for himself. And he's riding that horse as hard and fast as he can.
I don't blame him. That's what your supposed to do.

  

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Rjcc
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Fri Sep-22-06 08:41 PM

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2. "wtf?"
In response to Reply # 0


          



FREE CHAI VANG!

YOU'VE READ MY FILE NIGGA (c) Jack 'Mufuckin' Bauer

http://rjcc.stumbleupon.com - what I'm looking at

www.hdbeat.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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xbenzive
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Fri Sep-22-06 08:48 PM

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3. "eh."
In response to Reply # 0
Fri Sep-22-06 08:48 PM by xbenzive

          

I love Scrubs, I love Garden State, haven't seen The Last Kiss but Zach Braff is an O-K dude in my book. I think he's bothered cause he's richer than him.

  

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dgonsh
Member since Aug 14th 2002
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Fri Sep-22-06 09:14 PM

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4. "that guy is the epitome of "oh, he's just jealous""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

what has zach braff done to hurt this guy, or anyone for that matter?

he seems like a genuine enough guy, with very good taste in music (i mean, if you dig that kind of music) and he is an underdog. he's self-made. how can you bash that?

he's clearly dedicated to both his craft, and his loyal fans. he hosted a 3 or 4 hour radio show a couple weekend ago on indie 103.1 in l.a. that i listened to, where he basically said "obviously, im gonna have to plug my movie, but more importantly here are some awesome musicians, and they're gonna play some tunes and chat about whats going on in their careers." im not seeing a problem with that.

if you dont like what he does, thats one thing. not everyone like city of god. but the fact it, this "journalist" simply doesnt like zach braff for whatever reason and has decided to dismiss him and his career. good job buddy.

********************************************************************




"I *always* quote myself. I'm the only reliable source on *most* subjects" - OKP's First Lady of Knowledge, Janey

  

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Rjcc
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5. "saying "if you change the songs on the soundtrack, it sounds ridiculous""
In response to Reply # 4


          

is some wrapped-tightly-within-the-fabric-of-hate shit.



FREE CHAI VANG!

YOU'VE READ MY FILE NIGGA (c) Jack 'Mufuckin' Bauer

http://rjcc.stumbleupon.com - what I'm looking at

www.hdbeat.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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buckshot defunct
Member since May 02nd 2003
26345 posts
Mon Sep-25-06 03:08 PM

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49. "yeah, he lost me with that comment"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

Like... couldn't that be true for ALL movies?

-----------------------------
http://talestosuffice.com/
@kennykeil

  

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jigga
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52. "Extended warmup time in the bullpen of hate 2 come up w/ that"
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

  

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buckshot defunct
Member since May 02nd 2003
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55. "Try watching Seven Samurai with Benny Hill music overdubbed"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

Wait a second...that's BRILLIANT

-----------------------------
http://talestosuffice.com/
@kennykeil

  

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willydynamite
Member since Oct 18th 2004
24205 posts
Fri Sep-22-06 10:18 PM

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6. "this is crazy haterish."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and really, who the fuck is this dude other than an idiot on the internet who typed an article in the first place?

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=616818689
www.myspace.com/willydynamite

  

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duD
Member since Jul 06th 2003
19709 posts
Fri Sep-22-06 10:32 PM

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7. "i'm tired of "experts" allegedly "breaking things down""
In response to Reply # 0


          

this is even worse than the dane cook "breakdown."

  

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CaptainGenerica
Member since Jan 28th 2005
460 posts
Sat Sep-23-06 11:23 AM

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19. "RE: i'm tired of "experts" allegedly "breaking things down""
In response to Reply # 7


          

>this is even worse than the dane cook "breakdown."

couldn't agree with you more, i stopped reading halfway when i realized there was almost nothing positive coming out of the article.

  

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Michi
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47. "I love your avi"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

Kids love those "Pigeon" books.

  

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mc_delta_t
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Sat Sep-23-06 12:49 AM

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8. "I'd be inclined to write this guy off as a hater......."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

If I didn't think he was 100% on point. To all the people saying "what's zach braff ever done to him?" I think what offends me (though I like braff in general and I LOVE scrubs) is that Garden State seemed to me completely shallow and devoid of any real message or purpose but it tried real hard to pass itself off as arty and insightful.

  

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celery77
Member since Aug 04th 2005
25307 posts
Sat Sep-23-06 01:20 AM

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9. "Nah, this article is pure hate -- gives NO credit at ALL"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

No matter what you think of Zach Braff, he's done SOMETHING. This article doesn't even attempt to address that at all. That's the definition of hate.

So if you flip the soundtrack the movie is different? What movie ISN'T that true about?

Zach Braff says silly things in the process of self-promotion? STOP THE PRESSES!

Zach Braff is doing his thing. If it really bothers you, you're probably a hater. I saw his newest trailer, I didn't want to watch the movie, even though I knew plenty of people would still do exactly that. And that's the end of that chapter.

  

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mc_delta_t
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13. "the article does seem a little unnecessarily hateful"
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

but I agree with all his main points, I had a big problem with garden state, both the movie itself and the way it was recieved

  

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celery77
Member since Aug 04th 2005
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Sat Sep-23-06 11:10 AM

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18. "Garden State is definitely overrated, but it's not a bad movie"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

I like it just fine for what it is -- a cheesy, goofy romance from the male perspective.

So the hype machine over-hyped somebody? I'm not too worried about that.

And when it's all said and done, it IS impressive that Zach wrote, starred, and directed that picture, even if it is blatantly just one big autobiographical emo whine set to a nice soundtrack. Putting all that together deserves *some* credit, and if the kids like the movie more than it deserves -- meh -- not hate-worthy in my book. Kids overrate shit all the time (see: Darko, Donnie) but that doesn't make them bad (see: Darko, Donnie).

___________

HOPE!
https://vine.co/v/i7JjIBL3Qix
https://vine.co/v/i7JtqEFwxDu

  

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mc_delta_t
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25. "Oh but it IS a bad movie"
In response to Reply # 18


  

          

  

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hype_phb
Member since May 15th 2003
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Sun Sep-24-06 09:52 PM

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38. "Here's the deal about Garden State:"
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

> I think what
>offends me (though I like braff in general and I LOVE scrubs)
>is that Garden State seemed to me completely shallow and
>devoid of any real message or purpose but it tried real hard
>to pass itself off as arty and insightful.


First off, I really liked the movie. Didn't think I was going to, but I did. However, you're right. It tried a little too hard for the Wes Anderson feel of idiosyncratic and deep, but it missed a little and favored style over substance. But you know what?

IT WAS HIS FIRST MOVIE.

As such, I think that there were enough good things about it to outweigh the bad, and shit, if that was the first movie I'd ever made, I'd be proud of it. I look forward to his next projects, and hope they'll correct some of the flaws of Garden State. But this idea that it has to be perfect out of the box is asinine, unfair, and completely ridiculous. If his 3rd/4th/5th movies are this self-absorbed and "quirky", then talk to me about him then, but as it is now, this dude is hating. Hating hard.

Bringing you unpopular posts since 2003.

"Einstein has a formula, Wu Tang has a formula. A part equals a square and all that stuff, you know what I’m saying? We have a formula, too."

  

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Mynoriti
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Sat Sep-23-06 01:38 AM

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10. "LMFAO"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>He's more like a Claymation version of a
>matinee idol,

  

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Mgmt
Member since Feb 17th 2005
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Sat Sep-23-06 02:24 AM

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11. "I've never seen anything Zach Braff has been in"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Should I?

  

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mc_delta_t
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12. "Scrubs is a great, hillarious, show"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

but you'll probably get hooked after you watch a few

  

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araQual
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Sat Sep-23-06 04:00 AM

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14. "wait wait wait. have i been living under a rock or sumn?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Zach's quitting Scrubs after this season??? since when?!

V.

---
http://confessionsofacurlymind.com
https://soundcloud.com/confessionsofacurlymindredux
https://soundcloud.com/generic80sbadguy
https://soundcloud.com/miles_matheson

DROkayplayerâ„¢

  

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Binlahab
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Sat Sep-23-06 06:28 AM

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15. "zach branff most emphatically does not speak for me."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

but then again, who ever does speak for the me's


<------ Captain Black America

  

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shockzilla
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Fri Aug-01-08 10:56 AM

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72. "you're a twenty-something?"
In response to Reply # 15


          

  

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navajo joe
Member since Apr 13th 2005
6569 posts
Sat Sep-23-06 09:46 AM

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16. "that's a whole lot of hate"
In response to Reply # 0


          

i don't have anything against the guy. i just thought garden state was awful and i think that if that is the 'voice of our generation' (so emo emasculated white males speak for our generation?) we are beyond fucked.

i guess had i seen the movie when i actually WAS going through my post-college and post-adolescence post-partem depression i would have liked it. but i had already gotten passed that so it played as one long pity party and i wanted to have my one drink and leave.

and i want to see the last kiss about as much as i want herpes of the eye

-------------------------------

A lot of you players ain't okay.

We would have been better off with an okaycivics board instead of an okayactivist board

  

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Bridgetown
Member since Dec 04th 2004
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Sat Sep-23-06 10:19 AM

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17. "I used to write articles like this... you regret them after awhile."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I remember, back in my music journalism days (ha ha), writing this year end type dealie where I laid into several artists as trite and self-loving. That was about five years ago, and whenever I look back on it I think two things 1) That while it was kinda fun and I got props here and there on it 2) it did come off as unnecessarily negative and nonconstructive.

In a way, I wish I didn't write it. I made some good points, I had some fun, but now whenever I end up liking anything by an artist that I tore into I feel like a whiny-ass hippocrit.

I feel that way about this article. It brings up a few very good points (I thought Garden State wasn't a strong movie for the same reasons), but it's as if it gives Braff no room to prove himself.

--Maurice

_____

Bonding over sutures is what's hot in Oh-Nine.
--JS

  

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Yogaflame
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Sat Sep-23-06 12:12 PM

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20. "RE: Slate's great breakdown of Zach Braff"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I can't believe the amount of milksops in this post.

  

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DoctorBombay
Member since Jan 02nd 2004
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Sat Sep-23-06 12:24 PM

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21. "it takes zero courage to deliver that hate"
In response to Reply # 20


          

for a hater like yourself I know that must seem odd, but it's true

very few are here expressing sympathy for Braff, I think the point is that the article is lazy, anttention-craving and ineffectual

  

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Yogaflame
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Sat Sep-23-06 01:04 PM

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23. "RE: it takes zero courage to deliver that hate"
In response to Reply # 21


  

          

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nJNwdGqjQuw

  

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DoctorBombay
Member since Jan 02nd 2004
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Sat Sep-23-06 01:21 PM

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24. "I'm not even a Braff fan, you miss the point n/m"
In response to Reply # 23


          

  

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okaycomputer
Member since Dec 02nd 2002
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Sat Sep-23-06 12:28 PM

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22. "hmmmm...."
In response to Reply # 0


          

could Zach Braff be the 2007 'Donnie Darko' in PTP?
_________________________________

you used to be alright
what the hell happened?

  

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Premiere
Member since Sep 02nd 2005
2177 posts
Sat Sep-23-06 02:53 PM

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26. "Even if he's an asshole"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

He's absolutely right. Brian M. Palmer wrote a funnier piece about how similar Garden State and the Last Kiss are, and I think fans of his movies really have a certain kind of drama they like (I've noticed most fans also enjoy shows like Grey's Anatomy and the O.C.). I think it's sappy bullshit where he tries to trick the viewer into thinking his direction and writing don't suck by putting a pretty awesome Shins song over the scene.

Like mc delta said, I agree with the main points here. He's a far superior comic actor and his movies are/look awful (I'm skipping out on the Last Kiss because dramatic Braff/Haggis/O.C. girl is a really ugly combination). It's not hate to say that. However, the "change the music" line is so hate-filled, it doesn't really make sense.

  

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hype_phb
Member since May 15th 2003
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Sun Sep-24-06 09:55 PM

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39. "Let's be fair: The Last Kiss SUCKS."
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

But that's Haggis' fault, not Braff's.

Don't forget that.

Bringing you unpopular posts since 2003.

"Einstein has a formula, Wu Tang has a formula. A part equals a square and all that stuff, you know what I’m saying? We have a formula, too."

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Sat Sep-23-06 03:24 PM

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27. "I wasn't a big fan of Garden State, but this article is lame."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

At least he gives Zach credit for being funny on Scrubs.

Otherwise, why the vitriol? This dude acts like Zach fucked his girl or something.
_________________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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LA2Philly
Member since Oct 18th 2004
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Sat Sep-23-06 03:55 PM

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28. "I hope Zach doesnt quit scrubs"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and this cat is being far too harsh, I can understand where he's coming from, but his shit is over the line and past objectivity imo.

---------------------------------
<--The drought is over

"have fun reveling in your pettiness tho" (C) Dula summing up 98% of OKS

"I didnt finish a damn thing...matter of fact I jerked off after she left."
-Kobe speaking to investigators

L D E A

  

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DrNO
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29. "Disclaimer: No Zach Braffs were harmed in the writing"
In response to Reply # 0
Sat Sep-23-06 05:09 PM by DrNO

  

          

of this article.

I guess I should have noted that for you guys.

I guess we should ease up on making fun of people like Uwe Boll, Oliver Stone, Paul Haggis and Ben Affleck because, hey, they've at least "done something" too.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
43582 posts
Sat Sep-23-06 06:13 PM

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30. "People can dislike Zach Braff all they like. Just have the common sense"
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

to write something other than a hatchet job about the dude, which is what this is. Yes, it is.
______________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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DrNO
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31. "a hatchet job?"
In response to Reply # 30
Sat Sep-23-06 08:21 PM by DrNO

  

          

Maybe if the writer had brought in Braff's personal life into the equation, but this is all about his public persona.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Sun Sep-24-06 02:26 PM

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33. "So hatchet jobs are now limited to personal profiles only? FOH"
In response to Reply # 31
Sun Sep-24-06 02:29 PM by ZooTown74

  

          

Poor writing is poor writing. This is poor writing. He believes, by "exposing" the fact that Zach Braff has found a way to "exploit" a certain segment of the population, that he's blowing the lid off of some grand schemer. He's flogging the guy for having the smarts to realize that it's Show BUSINESS.
_______________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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DrNO
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34. "man"
In response to Reply # 33
Sun Sep-24-06 05:49 PM by DrNO

  

          

so we can't critique anyone if they're making money? GTFOH.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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35. "Don't be an ass."
In response to Reply # 34
Sun Sep-24-06 06:08 PM by ZooTown74

  

          

I'm going to ask you one more time, what's the point of "critiquing" him, especially this poorly? Does the author of this piece honestly believe he's "exposing" some grand scheme on the part of Zach Braff to fool the public?

Sorry that we can't all cosign this poorly-written, half-assed "expose" on Zach Braff, the seemingly normal everyday guy who makes pretentious movies with the soundtracks to match, and somehow fools the people with his "everyday guy" routine.

Ooo, Zach Braff has found a marketing niche. Wow, what an asshole.
_______________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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DrNO
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Mon Sep-25-06 01:48 PM

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46. "RE: Don't be an ass."
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

>I'm going to ask you one more time, what's the point of
>"critiquing" him, especially this poorly?

Because he's a notable person in popular culture.

Does the author of this piece honestly believe he's "exposing" some grand scheme
>on the part of Zach Braff to fool the public?

Grand scheme? Where is that ever mentioned. The author reacts strongly to Braff and chose to write about it. This is the same bullshit style of argument FOX News pundits use to write off anything written by notable media outlets that they disagree with.

>Sorry that we can't all cosign this poorly-written, half-assed
>"expose"

It's not an expose. If this was about photos of Braff with a whore it would be an expose.

on Zach Braff, the seemingly normal everyday guy who
>makes pretentious movies with the soundtracks to match, and
>somehow fools the people with his "everyday guy" routine.

That's interesting. But god forbid some egghead write about it.

>Ooo, Zach Braff has found a marketing niche. Wow, what an
>asshole.

Tyler Perry has too. But people have good reason to be unhappy about it.

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Mon Sep-25-06 02:31 PM

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48. "Let's just boil this down to the essence here."
In response to Reply # 46
Mon Sep-25-06 02:43 PM by ZooTown74

  

          

You posted this article on Zach Braff. The tone of the piece clearly is, "Hah hah, Zach Braff, you can't fool ME. I'm going to tell the people what this guy's REALLY like." PTP responded with a shrug, said "no shit, Sherlock/Garden State blew but this dude's hating," and you got mad because we apparently were supposed to say, "yeah, FUCK Zach Braff and his marketing niches... whither the ART?" I mean, is it not okay to disagree with this dude, whatever the reason may be?

Now, back to this "great break down"... one last time.

The "egghead" as you described him, or as I will now call him, "Captain Obvious," can write about Zach Braff all he likes. And we can certainly disagree with what he wrote, as well as discuss why he wrote it. But thanks for posting it anyway.
______________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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DrNO
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Mon Sep-25-06 07:07 PM

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53. "RE: Let's just boil this down to the essence here."
In response to Reply # 48
Mon Sep-25-06 07:10 PM by DrNO

  

          

>You posted this article on Zach Braff. The tone of the piece
>clearly is, "Hah hah, Zach Braff, you can't fool ME. I'm
>going to tell the people what this guy's REALLY like." PTP
>responded with a shrug, said "no shit, Sherlock/Garden State
>blew but this dude's hating," and you got mad because we
>apparently were supposed to say, "yeah, FUCK Zach Braff and
>his marketing niches... whither the ART?" I mean, is it not
>okay to disagree with this dude, whatever the reason may be?

You can disagree. But claiming that Braffs ability to generate profit makes discussion of what he stands for completely inane is an alarmingly defeatest outlook.
Is that your opinion here?
I didn't know writing a 10 paragraph essay--or agreeing with one--so easily makes someone a dick riding hater.

>Now, back to this "great break down"... one last time.
>
>The "egghead" as you described him, or as I will now call him,
>"Captain Obvious," can write about Zach Braff all he likes.
>And we can certainly disagree with what he wrote, as well as
>discuss why he wrote it. But thanks for posting it anyway.

Captain obvious? So you think Braffs claim that he's speaking for a generation is bunk? Then why come to his defense so quickly?

_
http://youtube.com/watch?v=4TztqYaemt0
http://preptimeposse.blogspot.com/

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Mon Sep-25-06 08:55 PM

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56. "See, once again, someone doesn't read."
In response to Reply # 53


  

          

>You can disagree. But claiming that Braffs ability to generate
>profit makes discussion of what he stands for completely inane
>is an alarmingly defeatest outlook.

Where the fuck did I say that, b? Seriously, quote where I said what you've been claiming I've been saying, which is, "Yeah, so what, it doesn't matter, Zach's making BANK, Joe!" That ain't what I've been saying.

Had you actually read what I posted, instead of getting emo and taking lame "yeah, well... you making lame Fox News arguments for capitalism" shots, you would have known that what I've actually been saying is, "Wow, he's dissing Zach Braff for finding a target audience." And "well, he knows that it's show business, *shrug*" is far, far different than "well, he makin BANK, so BLAM, SON!"

If you can't understand the difference, I'll gladly spend another 5 posts explaining it to you.


>Is that your opinion here?

It should be clear that it isn't.

And let me clarify one last time before you start calling me Sean Hannity or Lou Dobbs or some other shit:

I couldn't care less how Zach Braff markets himself. The person wrote an article that's lame because he thought he was doing something special in order to "breakdown" (your words) Zach Braff, when we all know what his steez has been from day one.


>I didn't know writing a 10 paragraph essay--or agreeing with
>one--so easily makes someone a dick riding hater.

You played semantic games before, now it's my turn. It's not possible to be a "dick riding hater." That's a contradiction in terms.


>Captain obvious? So you think Braffs claim that he's speaking
>for a generation is bunk? Then why come to his defense so
>quickly?

See, I knew you'd play the "you're defending Zach Braff" card. That's not the case. I repeat, that's not the case. What I'm saying to you is, the article was weak in part *because it doesn't present anything we don't already know*.

You think it's a Great Big Major Fucking Deal that this guy pointed out how Zach Braff created this image of the emo everyday guy and cobbled together two soundtracks to sell along the way. We said no shit, and that the article was lame because of that very reason, and you got all emo about it, on some "God forbid someone talk about Zach Braff" bullshit. Talk about "dick riding."

How you got "Hell no, dude I'ma defend my boy Zach who be makin' that BANK, SON!" out of "This article was lame, who cares" is beyond me. But it's not surprising.
________________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*
DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Fri Aug-01-08 12:23 AM

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68. "+1"
In response to Reply # 56


  

          

________________________________________________________________________
*by request*

(note to the usual tUoOS debaters, this will most likely be my final appearance in this post, so there's no use trying to start an argument... thnx)

  

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CaptNish
Member since Mar 09th 2004
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Sun Sep-24-06 02:14 PM

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32. "After watching THE LAST KISS....."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

....this guy is so on point, it ain't even funny.

-- Nate

_
Yo! That’s My Jawn: The Podcast - Available Now!
http://linktr.ee/yothatsmyjawn

  

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kayru99
Member since Jan 26th 2004
16105 posts
Sun Sep-24-06 06:12 PM

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36. "if this is true, then i'm really worried, lol"
In response to Reply # 0


          

> The second:
>starring in, writing, directing, and producing a remake of a
>Danish Dogme film about a woman whose husband gets paralyzed
>in a car accident. Please, Zach, leave paralysis to Lars von
>Trier.


That would be breaking the waves, right? That would be a hilarious fuckup if he really tries to remake that in hollywood.

  

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CaptNish
Member since Mar 09th 2004
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Sun Sep-24-06 06:30 PM

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37. "But a fuck up with a great soundtrack for the Holister set. n/m"
In response to Reply # 36


  

          

-- Nate

_
Yo! That’s My Jawn: The Podcast - Available Now!
http://linktr.ee/yothatsmyjawn

  

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Malachi_Constant
Member since Oct 17th 2003
180 posts
Sun Sep-24-06 11:48 PM

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40. "RE: Slate's great breakdown of Zach Braff"
In response to Reply # 0


          

this is 100% on point. I'm super surprised more people don't agree with him. I love Scrubs and Braff's work on it, but garden state and errthing post garden state has been bullshit. I don't even think this guy was really that harsh. I mean are we at the point where we have to hand out our criticisms with chocolates and roses? Well written and insightful I say (well, maybe not insightful b/c I thought all this shit already.)

By the way, did anyone ever see the Punk'd where they make Braff think some kid tagged his car? He was about to beat the shit out of like a ten year old boy. And this guy tries to present himself as the affable, lovable goofball. I see thru u Zach Braff! That catchy soundtrack aint fooling me!

I mean just look at the full page pic in the latest EW. If that shit didn't make me want to punch his lovable face in another viewing of garden state would.

**********************************

cease cows, life is short.

  

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InKast
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Mon Sep-25-06 12:28 AM

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42. "but is he really worth all this critisism? honestly"
In response to Reply # 40


          

who the fuck appointed Braff as this generations rep? this shit seems outa left field... like if somebody was to write an article bashing Steve Carrell or some shit.... ok you dont like him.. is it really worth investing the time and effort to bash him? only if you're somehow personally offended.... which this guy seems to be

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Mon Sep-25-06 03:17 AM

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45. "Exactly. It'd be different if this were Ashton fucking Kutcher this dud..."
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

was "deconstructing," and even then, he'd be pushing it, as Ashton's primarily best known now for Punk'd and screwing Demi Moore (and we know, he was on That 70's Show). Hell, Ashton's more well-known and probably more deserving of something like this than Zach "I'm on a consistently low-rated show and had an alleged 'hit' with one movie" Braff.
__________________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
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DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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buckshot defunct
Member since May 02nd 2003
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54. "Ashton Kutcher? Seriously?"
In response to Reply # 45


  

          

How in the world does he fit into this whole mess?

-----------------------------
http://talestosuffice.com/
@kennykeil

  

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ZooTown74
Member since May 29th 2002
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Mon Sep-25-06 08:59 PM

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57. "RE: Ashton Kutcher? Seriously?"
In response to Reply # 54


  

          

>How in the world does he fit into this whole mess?

I'd argue that he's more of a "relevant" pop cultural figure than Zach Braff.

And let me make this clear, before I'm called the Bill O'Reilly of PTP or some other shit: I'm neither "defending" nor "hating on" Ashton Kutcher. It simply was an alternate example.
________________________________________________________________________
DE-FENSE!
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DE-FENSE!
*boom boom*

  

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LiquidSwords3000
Member since Feb 26th 2004
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Tue Sep-26-06 09:31 PM

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59. "don't front, you would have punch that fuckboy too!"
In response to Reply # 40


          

>By the way, did anyone ever see the Punk'd where they make
>Braff think some kid tagged his car? He was about to beat the
>shit out of like a ten year old boy. And this guy tries to
>present himself as the affable, lovable goofball. I see thru u
>Zach Braff! That catchy soundtrack aint fooling me!

~~~Tron~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

<<<< (soundscan) vote or die!!!

R.I.P. - Jay Dee/J Dilla

  

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Madvillain 626
Member since Apr 25th 2006
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Sun Oct-01-06 04:55 AM

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65. "I SAW YOU TAGGING MY CAR YOU LITTLE FUCK!!!!"
In response to Reply # 40


  

          

*dies*


That fool was so heated...

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

  

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Frank Longo
Member since Nov 18th 2003
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Mon Sep-25-06 12:14 AM

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41. "Although the man is hating, he's also right."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

It's true that Braff has found something that struck a chord with many people, and he's doing the intelligent thing to do in show business, which is milk a successful cash cow for all that it's worth.

However, the points he makes are true. This IS what Braff does, whether you hate it or like it. As someone who is more or less disinterested with his brand of character, I agree with many of his points.

To those of you that says he's hating, I totally agree with you. He is undercutting the fact that Braff is doing these things to be successful, and that's smart show business. But from an artistic point of view, I hear what he's saying, and he's right.

My movies: http://russellhainline.com
My movie reviews: https://letterboxd.com/RussellHFilm/
My beer TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebeertravelguide

  

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CaptNish
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43. "DING DING DING!"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

nuthuggers....

== Nate

_
Yo! That’s My Jawn: The Podcast - Available Now!
http://linktr.ee/yothatsmyjawn

  

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Mynoriti
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44. "yup"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

  

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tappenzee
Member since Sep 28th 2002
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Mon Sep-25-06 03:23 PM

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50. "Hey Josh Levin, get off his dick"
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buckshot defunct
Member since May 02nd 2003
26345 posts
Mon Sep-25-06 05:24 PM

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51. "here's the thing"
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My hate for Garden State for some reason doesn't translate to hate for Braff. Maybe that's because I assumed he didn't have that big a role in this whole "voice of a generation/Garden State = The Graduate" labeling. Perhaps I assume wrong. And you know, it's not even that, because...look around, people. He sort of *is* the voice of our generation. The problem isn't Braff, it's just that well...I hate our generation!

I can see his appeal though. He seems like an affable everyman sorta dude that the article touches on. And you know, Scrubs always makes me chuckle when I tune in.

But his dramatic work is definitely not my scene.

-----------------------------
http://talestosuffice.com/
@kennykeil

  

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WhiteNotion
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Mon Sep-25-06 09:24 PM

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58. "zach braff is, like, so hip."
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he got all those cool bands on that movie, which is the best soundtrack of all time! the shins totally changed my life.

i seem to think that it's not his fault. he got the college crowd to like him. that's a dangerous demographic, because they all have money, their parent's, and most of them don't know shit about art, nor will they care 10 years from now. he sold a lot, and it seems as though he thinks it's a validation of what he's doing. if he quit coming off as an arrogant prick and actually put some work in, i wouldn't mind, but he has no right to be so damn pretentious.

http://www.audioscrobbler.com/user/whitenotion/
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dula dibiasi
Member since Apr 05th 2004
21925 posts
Sat Sep-30-06 04:48 PM

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60. "i've never seen scrubs or garden state"
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so zach braff is pretty much on "who the fuck is renee zellwedger?" status w/ me

this article is great tho

that there's some quality hatin'

___

it is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts. - sherlock holmes

  

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Rjcc
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Sat Sep-30-06 05:33 PM

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61. "but thats my issue w/ it, it's not quality hate."
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heartfelt, angstridden, emotionally laden hate, yes.

quality hate?

nahhhh.

this is't the evian of hate

this is like....dasani hate


FREE CHAI VANG!

YOU'VE READ MY FILE NIGGA (c) Jack 'Mufuckin' Bauer

http://rjcc.stumbleupon.com - what I'm looking at

www.hdbeat.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Mynoriti
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Sat Sep-30-06 06:11 PM

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62. "dude, evian sucks"
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Premiere
Member since Sep 02nd 2005
2177 posts
Sat Sep-30-06 06:38 PM

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63. "Mhmm"
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Rjcc
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Sat Aug-02-08 07:08 AM

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74. "perhaps, after two years in the can, this hate is still not refreshing"
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FREE CHAI VANG!

YOU'VE READ MY FILE NIGGA (c) Jack 'Mufuckin' Bauer



www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

  

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Basaglia
Member since Nov 30th 2004
49463 posts
Sat Sep-30-06 07:41 PM

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64. "those who can't do...hate"
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____________________________________________________


Steph: I was just fooling about

Kyrie: I wasn't.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8OWNspU_yE

  

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InKast
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Thu Jul-31-08 10:57 PM

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66. "this shit is even more stupid with 2 years hindsight"
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almost surreal

  

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el guante
Member since Jul 20th 2002
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Thu Jul-31-08 11:55 PM

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67. "i appreciate the "let's break it down" articles sometimes"
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maybe it's hate, maybe it's a hatchet job, maybe it's EASY, but i think it adds to the cultural conversation. we let a lot of shit fly these days.

--------
EL GUANTE'S HAUNTED STUDIO APARTMENT: on ITUNES now
Tru Ruts/Speakeasy Records
www.myspace.com/elguante
http://elguante.blogspot.com

  

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ncr2h
Member since May 07th 2005
1224 posts
Fri Aug-01-08 01:15 AM

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69. "Zach Braff is the silver-screen version of Jared (from Subway) to me"
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I want to punch him in the face whenever I see him. He just seems really smug, with his gay-ass indie music and his wannabe indie-looking movies. Fuck that lovey dovey emo shit, make some shit explode. Then I will respect your movie.

It's telling that half the posts in here about his movies talk about the soundtracks. THE SOUNDTRACKS. Who gives a fucking shit what cockass bands this dude likes.

Plus the name "Zach Braff" pisses me off too. I can't explain it, it just pisses me off.

  

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jigga
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Sat Aug-02-08 12:46 PM

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76. "Sig worthy"
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Fuck that lovey dovey emo shit,
>make some shit explode. Then I will respect your movie.

  

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40thStreetBlack
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Sat Aug-02-08 01:50 PM

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77. "http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/4/4b/Neilflynn.jpg ^^^ this guy"
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http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/4/4b/Neilflynn.jpg

___________________

Mar-A-Lago delenda est

  

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DawgEatah
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Fri Aug-01-08 09:22 AM

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70. "i love Scrubs and enjoyed GS, but Braff has become cliche..."
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... faster than most. I mean even Scrubs has started to look like Garden State. I swear if I see one more scene with Zach standing still while everyone else moves in fast motion while some Emo Rock band song plays, I am gonna hunt him down and stab him in the head with a Shins CD.

But yeah.
It's not that serious on the real.

It just sucks that i got tired of him so quickly.






http://fuck-your.blogspot.com (MUSIC)
http://eatmybigfat.blogspot.com (FOOD)
http://www.myspace.com/insightclopediabrown
http://www.myspace.com/dumhi
http://www.youtube.com/group/okayplayer
http://www.last.fm/user/Dawgeatah

  

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BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
85051 posts
Fri Aug-01-08 10:16 AM

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71. "meh. i've never seen GS, but I love Scrubs"
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<--- Big Baller World Order

  

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teapoetess
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Fri Aug-01-08 06:35 PM

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73. "i remember seeing the very first "garden state" teaser"
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with frou frou's "let go" and the shirt the same color as the wallpaper and the oxygen masks on the airplane and the awesomeness that is (was?) peter sarsgaard and thinking, "dude. j.d. from scrubs might be the next great filmmaker of our generation."

then i actually *saw* "garden state," and IMMEDIATELY started hating him. not only did the movie suck, but there's a really obvious, blatantly distracting editing issue at the end of it that ensures that i'll never watch it again.

that soundtrack IS dope, though.

but yeah, after that? i couldn't stand him, and now he's so irrelevant to me (and maybe the writers of "the office") that i laughed uncontrollably when he was a punchline in the kaling-penned "diwali" ep where kelly's sister calls ryan "zach braff" as an insult.

http://postbourgie.com
http://stacialbrown.wordpress.com

  

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Mr Mech
Member since Jul 02nd 2002
8373 posts
Sat Aug-02-08 08:49 AM

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75. "He's a Touchy Feely QT..."
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More of a collector than a filmmaker.

Mech

  

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