"You raise these kids to have a better life than the generations before"
And then you wake up one day and your 4 & 7 year old don’t know what roaches or cocabutter is and maybe they could deal with a slightly lower quality of life.
Meanwhile the four year old just up and got himself a slice of pizza last week. I respect the vision but this is still a house of asking permission little man.
Life is good.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
1. "LOL kids are the best." In response to Reply # 0
>Meanwhile the four year old just up and got himself a slice of >pizza last week. I respect the vision but this is still a >house of asking permission little man. > >Life is good.
Yesterday my 3.5yo daughter said "No ! That's absolutely wrong !" to me in a discussion about what we were having for dinner, so. Toddlers don't fuck around with their food apparently. I, also, respect it.
3. "i try to remind myself of this frequently." In response to Reply # 0
like, my whole goal was for him to have less hardships than i did.
so sometimes, when i get irritated that he didn't do something like i did when i was a kid, i gotta remind myself that "wasn't that sort of the point?" depending on what we're talking about, of course.
5. "Yea I was talking to a friend about something like this a year or so ago..." In response to Reply # 3 Fri Jun-13-25 11:32 AM by Brew
>so sometimes, when i get irritated that he didn't do something >like i did when i was a kid, i gotta remind myself that >"wasn't that sort of the point?" depending on what we're >talking about, of course.
He and his wife were telling me and mine about how stringent he is about sit down dinners, and how his oldest daughter is kind of hard to reel in. The wife was saying how she doesn't care much, while the husband (my friend) gets really angry about it. He said it's because he remembers formal, sitdown dinners with his parents and siblings growing up. So I was basically like, I get the nostalgia, but do you think it's worth the frustration ? He didn't really answer, think he might have been offended lol. And I wasn't trying to tell him how to parent, just offering a slightly different perspective to help ease his frustration. Oh well.
9. "this is a lot of the dilemna." In response to Reply # 5
mirror their lives like ours in some respects or deal with the different dynamics of their environments.
my view is do what's best for the long term relationship. that means acquiescing on things like your old traditions, even the 'good' ones.
if you have to hammer things home with the kids, it's likely not worth it. they'll likely grow to being around you less.
growing and being flexible in parenthood is the key for us. I've told both my kids that parenting is OJT. at different ages, I'd say this is new to me. I've never had 15 year old daughter before or a 10 year old son. I'm learning just like you are. so help me understand how I can be a better parent.
that helped open the lines communication even more.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Fri Jun-13-25 02:51 PM
14. "Thank you.. I’m going to keep this in my bag " In response to Reply # 9
>growing and being flexible in parenthood is the key for us. >I've told both my kids that parenting is OJT. at different >ages, I'd say this is new to me. I've never had 15 year old >daughter before or a 10 year old son. I'm learning just like >you are. so help me understand how I can be a better parent. > >that helped open the lines communication even more.
Parenting like a muhhhfukka
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
gets challenging fa'sho. of course there are those do what I said moments where push back ain't helping, but other times, let's talk and see where I may have been wrong in my approach.
once they realize you're not a superhero, they start doing shit lol. when they get off track, I remind them that they're actually good kids. unlike me when I was their ages.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Fri Jun-13-25 11:37 AM
6. "my wife and I struggle with this" In response to Reply # 3
she loves to remind me of all the things she couldn’t do as a kid and I remind her that she didn’t enjoy the limitations and it didn’t build character. We were just broke af
The funny thing is a few years ago at a cookout my mean ass aunt from Detroit was like “you giving them candy? you soft!!!” and then immediately saying “come here baby girls, here is some candy, a pop and some chips”
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
7. "LOL. i've seen my son's grandma be guilty of this same thing." In response to Reply # 6
>The funny thing is a few years ago at a cookout my mean ass >aunt from Detroit was like “you giving them candy? you >soft!!!” and then immediately saying “come here baby >girls, here is some candy, a pop and some chips”
like, sometimes she'll call him into her room just so they can chill and eat snacks...but yet she'll say something about him eating snacks when we let him have something.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Fri Jun-13-25 02:49 PM
13. "BREAKING GENERATIONAL CURSES!!!" In response to Reply # 11
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Fri Jun-13-25 11:28 AM
4. "My kids are now at an age where they can get things themselves" In response to Reply # 0
but when I hear that pantry door open a few times I hop up like “what you doing???”
and hearing them ask when the next time I’m getting crab legs is wild
I had no idea what crab leg was until I was in college
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
8. "luckily, because granny is in the house, she's instilled in him..." In response to Reply # 4
a lot of her old school, conservative manners.
he literally won't get anything out of the kitchen without asking, and he even usually asks us if he can do a lot of things in general...even after we've told him 100x he doesn't have to ask.
10. "Man look, grandma (MIL) COME OVER with snacks" In response to Reply # 8
I’ve taken to hiding them the second she leaves (she lives like 10 minutes up the street). But then she come over here too talking about “no jumping or running” and I have to ask her if she plans on taking them kids outside (it’s hot hot in Texas) … because my rule is don’t injure yourself. You may get hurt, we can ice that, but no RECKLESS jumping and running.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
15. "I ate crabs as a kid, but the situation was different." In response to Reply # 4
My grandma lived on the NC coast and the beach where we caught the crabs was across the street.
I don't see myself ordering crabs for a child, though. I saw a family out on (what I thought was) a late night date, and both kids were eating crab legs. Not a chicken tendy in sight.
16. "unless it's a money thing " In response to Reply # 15 Fri Jun-13-25 03:14 PM by tariqhu
> >I don't see myself ordering crabs for a child, though. I saw a >family out on (what I thought was) a late night date, and both >kids were eating crab legs. Not a chicken tendy in sight.
there's no reason not to. I didn't grow up eating seafood like that. mostly friend catfish. but if the kiddos like it, go for it.
I want their experiences to be more open than mine were.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Fri Jun-13-25 09:30 PM
19. "nah, just pointing out how I wasn’t introduced to crab legs as a kid" In response to Reply # 16
My seafood spot was Long John Silvers as a kid.
Fancy for me was Ponderosa.
Fancy to them is fine dining in New Orleans, Sedona and the Grand Canyon.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Tue Jul-01-25 03:30 PM
23. "salmon patties and catfish caught by my grandad was my only seafood" In response to Reply # 21
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Mon Jun-16-25 06:11 PM
20. "my wife is from the coast in NC so she ate crabs as a kid" In response to Reply # 15 Mon Jun-16-25 06:13 PM by legsdiamond
and I get it, if you live close to the coast you are going to eat a shit ton of seafood because people will drive around hustling seafood they just caught for money or fam will call and tell you a shrimp man is up the street.
but I’m talking about crab legs at a restaurant or from the store.
funny story, our wedding was on the coast and my fam is from Pittsburgh. We had a cookout the next day. My fam was expecting hot dogs and hamburgers. Nah, we had fish fry, crabs, sausage and corn. They weren’t feeling it until they tasted it then it was on and poppin’
First time I went there with my wife and met her granny. They had shrimp or fish for breakfast. That was weird af for me but then I realize the ocean is RIGHT THERE. Its giving you food on the cheap. I said I would never eat Conk because it looks nasty. My wife said “you had dressing at Thanksgiving and loved it”
Me.. wait, what???
They put seafood in everything!!
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
25. "I get individually-wrapped snacks." In response to Reply # 24
But shit that creates dishes that kids aren't gonna wash (or wash adequately), I wouldn't want that. If I'm solo-dolo and I leave my kitchen clean, having guests that make me wake up to dishes in my sink is gonna annoy me.
seasoned vet Member since Jul 29th 2008 6609 posts
Wed Jul-02-25 10:03 AM
26. "i embraced the annoyances of parenting" In response to Reply # 25
its part of being a parent
i also loathed the idea of passing down generational trauma because of tradition or thats how my mama did it. kids scared to eat food in the house they live in after a certain time is traumatic for kids
you say snacks, id rather you eat real food vs an individually wrapped snack full of junk. them dishes aint gon kill not one person, you’ll live. besides, thats usually the main thing negroes use to justify the behavior, ”i JUST bought these snacks and they gone already”, ugh.
27. "I respect that (embracing the annoyances of parenting)" In response to Reply # 26 Wed Jul-02-25 10:53 AM by Boogie Stimuli
I have to disagree with the following tho:
>kids scared to eat food in the house they live in after a >certain time is traumatic for kids
Calling it traumatic coincides with this new age thinking that deems every inconvenience some form of trauma. What we're discussing here is simply parent-imposed discipline. Every household differs in how much it has and where it's exercised, but that's all it is.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Wed Jul-02-25 11:09 AM
28. "gotdamn Black ass negro’s" In response to Reply # 26
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 82645 posts
Wed Jul-02-25 12:11 PM
31. "my kids still ask MOST of the time" In response to Reply # 29
but they will eat snacks all day and then not be hungry at dinner time.
and we are encouraging them to get their own cereal on weekends but late night eats?
Hell nah.. not yet.
Especially if you didn’t eat half your dinner.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
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