Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby General Discussion topic #13497559

Subject: "Did your parents talk to you about racism?" Previous topic | Next topic
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sat Jan-20-24 06:18 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
"Did your parents talk to you about racism?"
Sat Jan-20-24 06:19 PM by 3CardMolly

  

          

Or did you receive an introduction via Eyes On the Prize, Roots etc or did you receive a live-action crash course via public encounter? How open are you with your children about racism?

I finally watched a vid thats been circulating on Tiktok/Insta where a 55-60 yr old woman talks about her experience as a child and the trauma it brought. She says her mother gave her words of encouragement however she still carried low self-esteem and just couldnt fathom why white people were so mean and evil. It was sad, and I thought about my first encounter w/racism and how unprepared I was in not only dealing with it but also recognizing it. I would like to think Ive prepared my sons much better.

What’s your take?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top


Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
Not really.
Jan 20th 2024
1
RE: Not really.
Jan 20th 2024
2
when I was 6 or 7 I was at the movie theater
Jan 21st 2024
3
RE: when I was 6 or 7 I was at the movie theater
Jan 21st 2024
5
      My school hated seeing my mom walk into the front office
Jan 22nd 2024
11
           RE: My school hated seeing my mom walk into the front office
Jan 22nd 2024
23
16 years old, got invited to a "white party"
Jan 21st 2024
4
yeah but it was a more realistic approach
Jan 21st 2024
6
RE: yeah but it was a more realistic approach
Jan 22nd 2024
24
      yeah i think i was in the 4th or 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
33
           RE: yeah i think i was in the 4th or 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
38
nope.
Jan 21st 2024
7
RE: nope.
Jan 22nd 2024
25
he hasn't had a good life.
Jan 23rd 2024
27
      Thats sad.
Jan 23rd 2024
37
wtf? why did she say that shit?
Jan 23rd 2024
30
All THE time.
Jan 22nd 2024
8
This. I grew up around mostly black people, and that shaped my outlook
Jan 22nd 2024
13
RE: All THE time.
Jan 22nd 2024
26
They would school me on a situational basis.
Jan 22nd 2024
9
I got that book for my birthday. Just started it.
Jan 22nd 2024
12
RE: They would school me on a situational basis.
Feb 12th 2024
94
Yes, from as early as I can remember too
Jan 22nd 2024
10
RE: Yes, from as early as I can remember too
Jan 23rd 2024
39
(White)
Jan 22nd 2024
14
What was the conversation(s) like?
Jan 22nd 2024
15
Don't trust whitey?
Jan 22nd 2024
16
      LOL
Jan 22nd 2024
17
           That's dope - for real.
Jan 22nd 2024
18
           Yea I was very lucky.
Jan 22nd 2024
19
           Yeah that's pretty cool.
Jan 22nd 2024
20
                Yea for sure.
Jan 23rd 2024
28
                     RE: Yea for sure.
Jan 23rd 2024
40
how racist was he?
Jan 23rd 2024
36
      From a scale of Archie Bunker to David Duke?
Jan 24th 2024
56
      Definitely Archie Bunker
Jan 24th 2024
61
      this was my first thought. like, how do these 2 ppl meet and link?
Jan 26th 2024
84
Only After I Encountered It Firsthand
Jan 22nd 2024
21
Man, every story I hear makes it sound like "Bussing" was just a bad ide...
Jan 23rd 2024
29
We Earned Those Educational Opportunities
Jan 28th 2024
90
Port Richmond or Richmond, VA?
Jan 25th 2024
82
      RE: Port Richmond
Jan 28th 2024
89
not really but
Jan 22nd 2024
22
I’m looking at MSC cruises and Black folk keep talking about racism
Jan 23rd 2024
32
I quit teaching at a school
Feb 18th 2024
113
      My wife was hit by a latino kid in HS.
Feb 19th 2024
116
first time it really hit home. 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
31
RE: first time it really hit home. 5th grade
Jan 23rd 2024
41
      they were not friends
Jan 24th 2024
44
           yep, total wake up call
Jan 24th 2024
45
I grew up in a segregated Austin
Jan 23rd 2024
34
"I didn't have to have a talk about racism. I lived it."
Jan 24th 2024
47
      I guess its different if you lived it and dont talk about it
Jan 24th 2024
49
      Wasn't nothing to talk about really
Jan 24th 2024
51
           I think everyone had a first time
Jan 24th 2024
52
                My childhood wasnt like that
Jan 24th 2024
54
                     my kids were doing geometry at 18 months
Jan 24th 2024
59
                          Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams
Jan 24th 2024
62
                               Look how he swipes YOUR life experience away bc HE cant understand it
Jan 25th 2024
64
                               RE: Look how he swipes YOUR life experience away bc HE cant understand i...
Jan 25th 2024
68
                               RE: Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams
Jan 25th 2024
74
                                    RE: Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams
Jan 25th 2024
75
                                    i have a friend who intentionally has very little discussions about raci...
Jan 28th 2024
91
      From reading stories that folks posted looks as if things happened
Jan 24th 2024
50
           But wasn't every body here immersed?
Jan 24th 2024
53
                Who would be smug about being aware of race early?
Jan 24th 2024
55
                Fam, you could have just said your Folks didn't talk to you about race.
Jan 25th 2024
69
                     It woudlve ended with the same paragraph
Jan 25th 2024
70
                     Also I think you misunderstand me about intelligence
Jan 25th 2024
71
                I’m reading his post in a Ronnie Mathis voice
Jan 24th 2024
60
                     Lol, bruh
Jan 28th 2024
86
                          maybe its not intentional
Feb 14th 2024
110
yep but my father told me to never focus on it
Jan 23rd 2024
35
RE: yep but my father told me to never focus on it
Jan 23rd 2024
42
RE: yep but my father told me to never focus on it
Jan 24th 2024
58
Is your dad Carribean or African?
Jan 24th 2024
46
no he's from rural Georgia
Jan 24th 2024
57
      this is pretty dope.
Feb 12th 2024
97
Sounds like Condeleeza Rice’s parents
Jan 24th 2024
48
I took the subway and 2 busses to school. Plenty of time to listen to PE
Jan 24th 2024
43
good stuff
Jan 24th 2024
63
The expat adventures are so valuable
Jan 28th 2024
87
I'm Black & born in 76, so yes...but here's the thing:
Jan 25th 2024
65
Good post.. my daughter is 8 and will speak on folks skin color
Jan 25th 2024
66
Here's the current "struggle" for us. Going back home to NC to visit...
Jan 25th 2024
67
      lmao.. see, that sounds like normal convo for a Black household
Jan 25th 2024
72
           Yeah I'm not saying it wrong, but I recognized long ago it was the root
Jan 25th 2024
73
                word. I wonder if this is a southern thing
Jan 25th 2024
77
                     Possibly; it's not as pronounced on my wife's side. They from the D.
Jan 25th 2024
78
ahhh, the new negro argument. I respectfully disagree
Jan 25th 2024
76
Its a balancing act. My kids are too young for Black ish
Jan 25th 2024
79
Two things:
Jan 25th 2024
81
*shrugs* not an argument for me. This is how we've chosen to raise
Jan 25th 2024
80
      IDK. I see this "doesn't diminish her self impression" talk though
Jan 25th 2024
83
Indeed
Jan 28th 2024
88
      How you put Nat Turner, Black Panthers and Bernhard Goetz in the same
Jan 29th 2024
92
           Goetz??? You mean Colin Ferguson right.
Feb 12th 2024
98
                Goetz was NYC subway in the 80's, Ferguson was LIRR in the 90's
Feb 13th 2024
103
                     Why doesnt Ferguson belong?
Feb 18th 2024
114
Yes, and....
Jan 26th 2024
85
Im taking a wild guess
Feb 12th 2024
99
      WAF
Feb 13th 2024
104
           RE: WAF
Feb 18th 2024
115
My mom was a Black Panther in Chicago in the 60s.
Jan 30th 2024
93
RE: My mom was a Black Panther in Chicago in the 60s.
Feb 12th 2024
100
Basically you can't do what your white friends do,
Feb 12th 2024
95
This brings a second post to mind
Feb 12th 2024
101
My mom told me not to trust ofays lol
Feb 12th 2024
96
RE: My mom told me not to trust ofays lol
Feb 12th 2024
102
RE: got called a nigger so much by the time I went to school
Feb 13th 2024
105
Damn, bro. Where'd you grow up?
Feb 13th 2024
106
      NC
Feb 13th 2024
107
           umm.. where do you live in NC?
Feb 14th 2024
109
           I don't live there anymore
Feb 19th 2024
117
                whew, drive by there on my way to Southport on 74.
Feb 19th 2024
120
                RE: 74? oh you know all about it then
Feb 19th 2024
121
                     I know to get food and gas and get back on the highway.. lol
Feb 19th 2024
122
                          RE: oh its super segregated like that
Feb 19th 2024
123
                Yikes...my wife is from down there (Nakina right outside Whiteville)
Feb 19th 2024
124
                     RE: never been there but I've heard about it
Feb 19th 2024
125
                          Yeah...when we dated in college in the 90s/00s, I'd drive down there
Feb 19th 2024
126
                               RE: you ain't kidding
Feb 19th 2024
127
           RE: NC
Feb 18th 2024
111
           RE: that I don't know
Feb 19th 2024
118
           RE:EDIT 2014 not 2017
Feb 19th 2024
119
Not really
Feb 13th 2024
108
RE: Not really
Feb 18th 2024
112

Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13988 posts
Sat Jan-20-24 07:04 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
1. "Not really."
In response to Reply # 0
Sat Jan-20-24 07:06 PM by Boogie Stimuli

          

There were the occasional comments I heard from family about how white people are, how they do racist things, but never a legit talking to or education like I should've had. One of my brothers married a white woman and my mom had a big convo with him, asking why he couldn't just find a nice black woman. But she'd never taught us the importance of building at black family, so I was young and confused why she was even asking that (at the time). I was taught more what Jesus say and all that. Grew with this advice to love all people until I realized white people don't see me as human. That was a really traumatic period, because I'd had white friends and just saw them as people. Looking back and realizing that was never really reciprocal was hard, not to mention the incident that finally truly woke me up. But I won't go on and on about that.

This is why I'm VERY selective about who I have children with. I was on the verge recently, but our ideas of how to educate our children, what it means to be Black, etc were just too different, and I will NOT raise unaware children. Absolutely not.

~
~
~
~
~
Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sat Jan-20-24 11:05 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
2. "RE: Not really."
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

Spirit felt on that last line.

My mom told me but she still put me in negative environments like catholic school and when the shit hit the fan with a number of racist and abusive teachers, she really didnt know how to handle it. In short, I was physically attacked by my 3rd grade teacher. My mom shouldve had the bitch arrested and got a lawyer, but she took the “highroad”. I think after that experience she stopped intergrating me into places&spaces. I’ve done the same as far as schools go and a little further by sitting in at least once on classes up to freshman year, particularly if my kids or the teacher notified me of a problem.

I gave them both the black girls/women first talk as well as the understanding on colorism within our community. My oldest has dated a white and latina girl before but most are Black/Pan-African and his current gf is Black and they shacking(lol). I think he gets where Im coming from but like any young person, he’s exploring.
Younger son isnt dating yet but he’s more aware of racism and is very leery of white people.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Sun Jan-21-24 09:51 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
3. "when I was 6 or 7 I was at the movie theater "
In response to Reply # 0


          

I was looking at candy but didn’t have enough for what I really wanted.. white dude behind the counter (teenager) gave me the candy bar. I went home and told my dad thinking he eiuld be like “that’s cool” and my parents were like “dont you EVER do that again”

that was the first time I got a talk about race.

but it still didn’t prepare me for white teachers in elementary school. Those motherfuckers are racist POS. Things like getting in trouble for doing the same thing white kids were foing but being the only one gets punished.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Jan-21-24 01:36 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
5. "RE: when I was 6 or 7 I was at the movie theater "
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

Although our parents and grandparents have gone through the US education system, I dont think many of us realize that its that particular system thats the root introduction into racism through a child’s eyes. Its the first place where you learn to feel inferior.

Recently visited a h.s that had always been a hood school, Black students and 85-90% Black teachers. The school was rebuilt and still holds a majority of Black students with some Latino students, but now the teaching staff looks 60% white. The 40% Black teachers are a mix of main teachers and subs. I doubt theres some super shortage of Black teachers, it definitely feels like its by design but the most infuriating part is that the public school network is still majority Black and Latino administratively. We’re allowing it.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 09:05 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
11. "My school hated seeing my mom walk into the front office"
In response to Reply # 5


          

anytime a student had an issue with the school they called my mom. She didn’t play and didn’t let white folk off the hook.

She had no problem calling shit out.

She was even on the school board for a few years.

I was talking to my older sisters and aunts and they all had stories of teachers doing racist shit that they didn’t even realize until years later. My aunt said they kept the Black kids inside at recess and let them do whatever they wanted. Didn’t dawn on her they were being segregated at recess. She ran up on the teacher years later after she graduated and let him know she would never be that type of teacher.

I cursed out my 3rd grade teacher and I’m still looking for my basketball coach, lol.. bastard faked like he was separated from his wife so he could have his midget son play basketball at our school. The shit these white folks at schools is incredible.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 11:42 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
23. "RE: My school hated seeing my mom walk into the front office"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

I almost hate to say it but Im glad I never ran across my 3rd grade teacher cause I would be in jail for poppin her spine.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Ray_Snill
Charter member
16823 posts
Sun Jan-21-24 01:06 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
4. "16 years old, got invited to a "white party""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

kid's parents were loaded. we're in a big cul de sac in a house FULL of white kids smoking weed, doing coke, drinking etc. me and my 2 guys, the only black people there fell back and stood in the street, talking to some other white kids who were hesitant about going in at all. police rolls up and immediately start harassing me and my dudes talking about there's been complaints, pretty much ignoring all the debauchery going on in the background. one of my dudes (white kid) had a big brother home from college who came to our rescue and basically lit into the police for messing with us. that was my first experience with learning that there are 2 justice systems in the US. me and my guys left around 11 but the word around school was the party lasted til about 3:30 that morning. so much for the complaints huh.





<=========================================
https://cdn0.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/PYzh4v9cSf4FDnq3yMQyqNqh79o=/800x0/filters:no_upscale%28%29/cdn0.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/4079674/jlio.0.gif

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
84957 posts
Sun Jan-21-24 03:57 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
6. "yeah but it was a more realistic approach"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

cause my grandma was pure 100% all white people are evil. idk if i ever heard her say a kind word about more than 5 white people in my life.

my parents were more "yeah some of em are but some of em are solid too"

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 11:44 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
24. "RE: yeah but it was a more realistic approach"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Did that prepare you for your first encounter with racism (blatant/hidden)?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
BrooklynWHAT
Member since Jun 15th 2007
84957 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 12:21 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
33. "yeah i think i was in the 4th or 5th grade"
In response to Reply # 24
Tue Jan-23-24 12:24 PM by BrooklynWHAT

  

          

pretty sure i told this story on here before.

it was the time we all discovered punching each other in the nuts as humor/horseplay. and this one white kid that participated in it, told a teacher on me and a couple other black kids and they got the SRO to come threaten that he was going to take us to jail for assault if we kept it up. and the other kids were crying and carrying on and i'm like "bet i can't wait to tell my mom about this cause yall are in for it"

long story short, the white kid ended up having to admit he was in on it too. the SRO got reassigned to desk duty or some shit. and we got a written apology from the principal and the school board. im pretty sure she still has it collected somewhere like a trophy

ive never really had issues maneuvering or identifying racism because my grandma always told me white people were the devil. i never really had a chance to have childhood innocence on that front

and my parents socialized me around white people and activities at an early age so i wouldn't have a limited social perspective. as long as i can remember i've been familiar w/ the ways white people move

so as i got older, things like a viet kid yelling nigger at me over and over because i did his team up in a soccer game didnt phase me nearly as much as it did my teammates (black, white and hispanic) because it wasn't a shock to me that it could happen.

<--- Big Baller World Order

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 09:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
38. "RE: yeah i think i was in the 4th or 5th grade"
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

The situation with the SRO brings to mind the Central Park 5.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

tariqhu
Charter member
17834 posts
Sun Jan-21-24 11:32 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
7. "nope. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

I don't think my mom even brought of racism a way that would've been informative. shit has been on the job training, especially as a teen.

one of my boys were really into white girls. I'd never really dealt with them before. just not my thing. he set up a double date with me, him, and two white chicks.

I was hella uncomfortable while riding along. don't remember much of it now, but clearly recall the one in the back seat with me smiling real big and saying I got me a nigger! she was proud af.

I gave her a death stare and she apologized, but I was done. I couldn't punch her in the face like my 16 yr old self wanted to because I knew that would make it worse. my buddy was still trying to get some ass, laffing and shit.

I've talked to both of mine about it. not in a sit down, here's a whole thing kind of way, but more like random convos at the table or when driving.

my daughter is 19 and seems to be pretty aware of things. however, she's thinking about transferring to UGA. I warned her about willfully placing herself in situations where shit could go sour because she's black.

my son went to a more mixed middle school last year. he became more aware when a YT kid would go on about his love of country, god, and guns. told him to watch that one cuz none of that says he likes black kids.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 11:47 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
25. "RE: nope. "
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

So what became of your boy who thought all that shit was funny?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
tariqhu
Charter member
17834 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 12:15 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
27. "he hasn't had a good life."
In response to Reply # 25


          

we've been out of touch as adults. I called him recently thought. he didn't sound good. has a thyroid issue.

he's still talking like he's 16. talking about pulling chicks, hanging out, and fighting. he's also divorced and grandpa. hasn't grown up.

not sure he messed with white chicks afterwards, but I knew I wasn't.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 08:37 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
37. "Thats sad."
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 11:41 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
30. "wtf? why did she say that shit? "
In response to Reply # 7


          

I grew up outside of Pittsburgh which is the birthplace of interracial dating.

I was messing with one back in HS and when prom came around she was like “so when are you going to ask me to prom” and I responded “aint no fucking way I’m taking prom photos with a white girl.. I got a momma and sisters”

She lost it. OMG, I been fighting my mom and her boyfriend and this is how you do me? You guys are just as bad as my mom”

me: “yup.. ikr? aint that some shit? Not gon be able to do it!!!”


had a friend or 2 who kept dipping after HS and these dudes been in and out of jail over these broads. I read a small town paper of my homie getting arrested that had to be written by someone we know.

“when police arrived, Jon was sitting on the curb drunk and told the cops “go ahead and arrest me now, yall always believe the white chick anyways”



****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 08:53 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
8. "All THE time. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

My parents were activist lawyer types, my dad was a civil rights lawyer. It was a lot of Martin & Malcolm, Muhammad Ali, Richard Pryor, Huey Newton, Last Poets as a kid. Black Liberation Theology though no one called it that. As I got older it was Isis Papers, Nile Valley Contributions to Civilization. My dad even got heavy into Public Enemy as an older man.

We watched Eyes on the Prize in my majority black elementary school. I grew up in a majority black county in VA with majority black teachers so I don't have a lot of the racist school incidents people are sharing here. Well not in way that would make me feel powerless.

For example, I did have a 5th grade teacher who starting talking about how slavery couldn't have been that bad because "if you had a horse who you used for work , you wouldn't beat that horse unnecessarily. you would have to take care of it".

I came home and told my parents about that convo. My dad called the superintendent of schools that night (who was black), and the teacher apologized to the whole class the next day.

I remember this pwt white kid called someone the n word once and he got his ass whupped.

I was talking to my uncle last night who grew up in segregated baton rogue and one of the things he talked about was all the folks he looked up to were black. The doctors, lawyers, teachers, home builders. His parents were able to shield him away from segregated fountains and he grew up in a very black world and didn't encounter much blatant racism. I kinda grew up like that and really didn't inherent ideas that black people were supposed to be inferior or thought of as less than.

That's how I am trying to raise my kids even though there environment is totally different.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13513 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 09:48 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
13. "This. I grew up around mostly black people, and that shaped my outlook"
In response to Reply # 8


          

>...he grew up in a very black
>world and didn't encounter much blatant racism. I kinda grew
>up like that and really didn't inherent ideas that black
>people were supposed to be inferior or thought of as less
>than.

Since nearly everyone was black, race wasn't a big factor in how I perceived myself. I was free to be whatever I wanted without race being attached to it. The high-achieving smart kids in my school weren't smart for black kids," they were just smart.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 11:55 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
26. "RE: All THE time. "
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

You were definitely blessed.

I’m working on my youngest to be in the mindset to attend/graduate an hbcu and bypass the white majority institutions.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

soulfunk
Charter member
10982 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 08:54 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
9. "They would school me on a situational basis. "
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Jan-22-24 08:56 AM by soulfunk

  

          

I grew up in a neighborhood that was around 50/50 black/white. So there would often be situations where I'd be hanging with friends and they'd explain to me that what I can get in trouble for vs. the white kids could be very different. I remember when I was maybe in first grade, and in our sub they were building new houses. Me and a couple of my white friends were checking out the construction sites, and my dad saw us. He schooled me on the danger of walking through a construction site, but also the impact of "trespassing" while being a Black kid.

Also little things like I remember bringing a Transformer toy home that one of my friends let me borrow, and I got schooled to NEVER bring something home that wasn't mine, whether given to me or not, because I could get accused of stealing.

As I got older, it's funny that you mention Eyes on the Prize and Roots because I JUST mentioned that to a friend of mine. I'm reading Michael Harriot's book Black AF History (HIGHLY RECOMMENDED - and the audio book is currently free on Spotify) and I'm realizing how much I never learned when I was young. As a kid my only education on our history was from Roots, Eyes on the Prize, and Black history programs at my church which were very much surface level.

I didn't fully get racism - with an understanding of institutional racism and micro aggressions - until college. I remember the summer before college, I was working a retail job. I mentioned to a white coworker that I was about to be a freshman at Michigan. That kid (who was going to community college) told me "yeah, you only got in there because you're Black." I was livid. Told my parents about it that night, and I told them that I didn't agree with Affirmative Action because I was so offended that someone would say that. I had a 3.98 GPA and a 32 ACT score - I deserved to get into Michigan regardless of being Black!!!. My parents were taken back by me saying that and checked the MESS out of me. Then I could see on their faces that they realized that they'd never really talked to me about racism. They straight up schooled me that evening, and got me all the way together. They were transparent in sharing their experiences from the 50's and 60's, all the way through that present time in the 90's with the racism they saw in their careers as a firefighter and a teacher. They explained the reasons WHY they'd always been so strict with me.

After that evening I realized I had much to learn, because before that I thought "racism" was the blatant stuff like lynchings and police forces stopping Black kids from going to school, and I didn't notice the more subtle every day racism. The combination of that conversation with my parents with me moving out and going to college that fall, living on my own and starting to see things myself, is what made me really start to learn it.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 09:25 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
12. "I got that book for my birthday. Just started it. "
In response to Reply # 9


          

I remember having a quiz at our after school program at the community center on Black inventors. We got all those questions wrong because Carver and the peanut.

We were pissed. Why hadn’t we learned about any of these amazing people in school?!

I also remember 7th grade riding back from a basketball game and we were talking Black history and my homie said “they talk about MLK but never talk about Malcolm X.

Who???

Went to the library and started taking out books.

Also have to give a shout out to hip hop. BDP, PE brought up names that made me search for knowledge.

YOU.MUST.LEARN!!!

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Numba_33
Charter member
19305 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 01:23 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
94. "RE: They would school me on a situational basis. "
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

>I'm reading Michael Harriot's book Black AF History (HIGHLY
>RECOMMENDED - and the audio book is currently free on Spotify)
>and I'm realizing how much I never learned when I was young.
>As a kid my only education on our history was from Roots, Eyes
>on the Prize, and Black history programs at my church which
>were very much surface level.

Thank you for mentioning this book. Got a copy from the local library late last week. I'm about a quarter of the way through and while the majority of the jokes he makes in the footnotes don't always land, I do like how relatively easy dude's writing style is. The chapters so far don't get too boring or overwhelming to read.

"Sean sparks like John Starks, nah, Sean ball like John Wall" - Rest In Power Forever Sean Price.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13513 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 09:03 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
10. "Yes, from as early as I can remember too"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Jan-22-24 09:12 AM by flipnile

          

Not just my parents, but my aunts, uncles, camp counselors and scout leader. They certainly didn't sugarcoat anything. Stories about the racist cops, Frank Rizzo, racist people at their jobs, the racist army, racist people in northeast Philly, the racist justice/jail system, racist Reagan & the government, the racist USA, etc.

The stories from their past were crazy too. Scout leader said when he was a kid in Philly, the cops once drove down the street real slow, and the cop in the passenger seat leaned out the window and pointed a shotgun at them. Held aim on them for a while, then drove off laughing.

Philly was quite segregated growing up, so a lot of stuff they taught me was right in front of my face. Almost everyone I interacted with daily was Black. Occasionally, when I'd be in a non-Black environment and people were treating me coldly or like shit, the reason was pretty obvious.

When I went off to college in '94 I had my oldest aunt warn me to stay away from the white girls. Wasn't hate, she was concerned for my safety.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 09:35 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
39. "RE: Yes, from as early as I can remember too"
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

It’s funny cause I remember my mom making mention about Reagan, white folks and politics as early as kindergarten too.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24320 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 09:58 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
14. "(White)"
In response to Reply # 0


          

My mom did. My dad didn't til I was older, and he's pretty racist. So thank god my mom got to me first.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
soulfunk
Charter member
10982 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 10:00 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
15. "What was the conversation(s) like?"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

>My mom did.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 11:17 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
16. "Don't trust whitey?"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

jk.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24320 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 01:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
17. "LOL"
In response to Reply # 16
Mon Jan-22-24 01:18 PM by Brew

          

My mom was a 60s hippie kid who really latched on to Civil Rights, and was adamant about basic human rights and things of that nature. I can't really remember specifics of the conversations she had with me, but I know her early lessons to me were along the lines of, we're all human, you and I are insanely lucky to have been born here, to be white, some people were born in disadvantageous situations that we can never fully understand, and thru no fault of their own, have empathy and always stand up for the underdog (for lack of a better term). That sort of thing.

I vaguely remember her talking about police harassment of Black people around the time of the Rodney King beating, but again I don't really remember specifics. I just know that that's where I'd first heard about police brutality.

One specific anecdote I *do* remember was when I was about 11 or 12, and she pointed out to me that in the show "Friends" (which I never liked to begin with) they live in New York City and there's not a single Black person in that show. Like not even an extra. That was a "pay attention to this sort of thing" moment that she pointed out to me. Representation, even if she didn't use that word.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
soulfunk
Charter member
10982 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 03:21 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
18. "That's dope - for real. "
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

I live in a liberal college town where there are a lot of white progressives and see some interesting levels of awareness. The fact that you remember that much of what your mom taught you shows some strong impact and her sincerity.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24320 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 03:26 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
19. "Yea I was very lucky."
In response to Reply # 18
Mon Jan-22-24 03:30 PM by Brew

          

I'm adopted as well, so the fact that I ended up being adopted and raised by someone like her, who gave me such important perspective(s) and building blocks, especially that early in life (she died of cancer when I was 16, and for example the anecdote I told you about the Rodney King stuff happened when I was I think 8yo) is something I don't take for granted either, for a million reasons.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 05:04 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
20. "Yeah that's pretty cool. "
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

Like the folks show here at some point black people/kids are going to have to talk about race but it is remarkable how in this country its relatively easy for white people to never have to talk about race which is why so many find it so difficult or default to "what's the big deal?"



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24320 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 10:35 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
28. "Yea for sure."
In response to Reply # 20
Tue Jan-23-24 10:38 AM by Brew

          

>Like the folks show here at some point black people/kids are
>going to have to talk about race but it is remarkable how in
>this country its relatively easy for white people to never
>have to talk about race which is why so many find it so
>difficult or default to "what's the big deal?"

Definitely. These past few years have really highlighted this for me. I'd long assumed that since I grew up in the Boston area among mostly "liberals," that my situation was typical, and that most of my friends' parents would have had similar discussions with them.

Learned the hard way that that is *definitely* not the case and that I was one of the very, very, very few. Which has made for some very frank and very hard discussions with some close friends. Harder for them than me; the only hard part for me was realizing how ignorant (willfully or otherwise) so many of my friends have always been, without my realizing it. And that's saying something, cuz I'm pretty ignorant in the bigger picture, because of the bubble I grew up in, even having had those types of conversations at an early age.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 09:49 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
40. "RE: Yea for sure."
In response to Reply # 28


  

          

Im curious as to how your parents came together with such vastly different perspectives on race.

Also, this post is directed at those who are Black. Although your experience is unique, it comes off as a push into a conversation that you recognize but have not at all experienced.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 06:24 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
36. "how racist was he? "
In response to Reply # 14


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 03:53 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
56. "From a scale of Archie Bunker to David Duke?"
In response to Reply # 36


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 04:29 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
61. "Definitely Archie Bunker "
In response to Reply # 56


          

by the way he described moms

the hippy mom and racist dad def has a “goils were goils and men were mennnn” vibe

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
kinetic94761180
Member since Jul 05th 2002
17844 posts
Fri Jan-26-24 10:58 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
84. "this was my first thought. like, how do these 2 ppl meet and link?"
In response to Reply # 36


  

          

and it's not just Brew's folks - I have this question in general. it kinda fascinates me, think that there is obvious answers, but believing that it has to be "deeper", right?

it goes into relationships with family, as a whole.

how complicated are those convos and moments of co-existence - or - how "hard" is it to ignore certain things?

iono.

_____________
if racism is a cancer, black thought is the answer.

Rjcc is code for "bitch-ass troll"

DROkayplayer™

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Thee Phantom
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2755 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 07:00 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
21. "Only After I Encountered It Firsthand"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I grew up in North Philly and went to an all black Public School.

When I was bussed out to Richmond, I encountered racism face to face. I was called; porch monkey, jungle bunny, tar baby and the first time I remember being called the N word.

That's when I was given "The Talk".

IG: @illharmonic.orchestra
Youtube: www.youtube.com/theephantom

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 11:39 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
29. "Man, every story I hear makes it sound like "Bussing" was just a bad ide..."
In response to Reply # 21


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Thee Phantom
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2755 posts
Sun Jan-28-24 05:25 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
90. "We Earned Those Educational Opportunities"
In response to Reply # 29


          

Almost everyone on my bus had tested out of their neighborhood school's into Magnet or Advanced Learning Programs.

Those neighborhoods weren't ready for all those black and brown faces.

IG: @illharmonic.orchestra
Youtube: www.youtube.com/theephantom

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13513 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 02:13 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
82. "Port Richmond or Richmond, VA?"
In response to Reply # 21


          

Port Richmond in the 80s/90s might've been worse than VA with the racism.

One of those neighborhoods that I never set foot in until ~10 or so years ago, and I still feel uncomfortable being there. Fishtown & parts of South Philly too.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Thee Phantom
Member since Jul 18th 2005
2755 posts
Sun Jan-28-24 05:23 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
89. "RE: Port Richmond"
In response to Reply # 82


          

It was definitely crazy racist in the 80's and 90's. Those Caucaparents were none too pleased with the blacks coming into their neighborhood.

IG: @illharmonic.orchestra
Youtube: www.youtube.com/theephantom

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Crash Bandacoot
Member since May 13th 2003
10111 posts
Mon Jan-22-24 07:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
22. "not really but"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Jan-22-24 07:13 PM by Crash Bandacoot

          

learned really early on that children learn racism from their parents
or whatever environment they are in. it's pretty sick.

went to san diego recently and was taken aback at how racist some of
those people are and what they teach their kids, and they were not
white. asians, hispanics, etc. can be racist as f*ck over there.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 11:50 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
32. "I’m looking at MSC cruises and Black folk keep talking about racism"
In response to Reply # 22


          

and they say things like “them.. a certain group of people”

and usually its Asians.

Just said they are shitty af in large groups on those ships.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Feb-18-24 08:42 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
113. "I quit teaching at a school "
In response to Reply # 22
Sun Feb-18-24 08:42 AM by 3CardMolly

  

          

Based partly in that. Charter on the northwest side of chicago, predominantly latino. Grades k-5th were nice, miss a lot of those babies, but a number of the older students were racist af and punk af too. The principal didnt make it much better being a latino make that upheld white women. When I put in my resignation 3 weeks after orientation he was so worried and kept asking ‘was there anything done here for you to want to leave’.

On another note I ended up teaching just 20blks away, at a public school (much more $) where the kids had a similar ration yet did not display racist traits, but a number of them were bad af. Lol. The principal had his hair cut in a Mayan style while suited up everyday for work. His own child attended the school as well. I say all that to say I believe he set a tone there were racism was not tolerated. On the other hand there were some staff that tried not to reveal their true selves but it would seep through.

As for Asians, as anytime they are in groups or w/white friends they go apeshit racist. Its the most Igorish, bootlickenish, ‘did I do good master’ shit to ever see. They’ll also step on each other and lower themselves for white approval. It’s sad af.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 10:34 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
116. "My wife was hit by a latino kid in HS. "
In response to Reply # 113


          

then she said like 8 of them showed up from across the street and tried to intimidate her.

She knows a little spanish so she heard one of them tell the driver “don’t give that bitch your insurance info”

and yes, most groups will go above and beyond for white approval.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 11:48 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
31. "first time it really hit home. 5th grade"
In response to Reply # 0


          

I was friends with the popular white kid who moved to our town. He was rich AF and really good in sports so we were competitive at recess.

We beat his team in football and I was talking mad shit in line on the way in because its what we always did but this was the first time I really spanked his squad.

He hit me with a NIGGER that caught me off guard

He was big af but I damn sure tried to beat his ass. He got the lecture and we shook hands but that shit threw me off.

I had heard the word because I watched The Jeffersons, Sanford and Son and knew about racism but to hear it directed at me in front of the class?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 09:54 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
41. "RE: first time it really hit home. 5th grade"
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

Not to mention from someone you considered a friend.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Crash Bandacoot
Member since May 13th 2003
10111 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 07:16 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
44. "they were not friends"
In response to Reply # 41


          

obviously

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 07:50 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
45. "yep, total wake up call"
In response to Reply # 44


          

kept my guard up at all times after that shit.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 12:44 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
34. "I grew up in a segregated Austin"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

The West Side of I-35 was white, the East Side was Black, south of the city was Mexican and white and north of the city was transplants of all races.
We apartment hopped from the ages of 4 to 8 and then from 8 to 12 we had a house in the Northern suburbs
From 5-12 I participated in all of my youth activities on the East side. Like a reverse busing.
I would go to school in these racist ass environments, often time the only Black kid in the room, definitely in my GT and honors classes
Take the bus home, wait for my dad to come pick me up, he'd drive me to the East side and I'd play basketball or football there.
In all of my years there, there was little intermingling between demographics. Even the North side Black folks never made their way to the East side.
I didn't have to have a talk about racism. I lived it.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 08:17 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
47. ""I didn't have to have a talk about racism. I lived it.""
In response to Reply # 34


  

          

Don't you think all the other black people here lived it as well?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 09:22 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
49. "I guess its different if you lived it and dont talk about it"
In response to Reply # 47


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 11:41 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
51. "Wasn't nothing to talk about really"
In response to Reply # 49


  

          

I didn’t get invited to birthday parties or sleep overs or really have any interactions outside of school hours
And during school hours I had to fight … a lot

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 02:30 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
52. "I think everyone had a first time"
In response to Reply # 51


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 03:13 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
54. "My childhood wasnt like that"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

I wish I could tell you that I got important life lessons from my parents but thats not the case
They were high schoolers from the projects that had me in highschool
I learned to read and write when I was 2 and they got me into advanced schooling by the third grade and that was the last age they were able to help with school
They went to bat for me behind the scenes to ensure that I got treated equally but they never brought that home
I never got the be twice as good talk
I never got the dont let your white friends get you in trouble talk
I never got the watch out for cops talk
The closest I came to a talk was my dad taking me to see Menace and Sugar Hill in theater as a kid and on the rides home him telling me that the difference between our life and that life was doing whatever it takes to get out

I didnt get race talks.
I got work your way out of this shit talks.
I got responsibility and no excuses talks.
Nobody denigrated my community folks and said your cousins are like this because of xyz.
Nobody said the suburbs are better because of abc.


------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 04:21 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
59. "my kids were doing geometry at 18 months"
In response to Reply # 54


          

sorry my dude but I laugh at folks who tell me what they were doing at 2.

You were shitting and eating my dude.



****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 04:36 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
62. "Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams"
In response to Reply # 59
Wed Jan-24-24 04:40 PM by MEAT

  

          

It’s whatever though. The point of that wasnt to point out how book smart I was or am.
Shit didnt prepare me for the institutions it gave me access to.
The question was did our parents talk to us about racism. My answer no, they immersed me in racist structures that they didn’t understand and said swim.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                
seasoned vet
Member since Jul 29th 2008
5974 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 02:19 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
64. "Look how he swipes YOUR life experience away bc HE cant understand it"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

like, nah my nigga your life is what i said it was because im too dense to comprehend it

yet another post turned into The Legsdiamond Show

understanding perspectives NOT his own just isnt in his dna

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                    
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 08:20 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
68. "RE: Look how he swipes YOUR life experience away bc HE cant understand i..."
In response to Reply # 64
Thu Jan-25-24 08:28 AM by MEAT

  

          

https://www.fieldandstream.com/conservation/fatal-bear-attacks-2021/

2021 Has Been a Year of Brutal Bear Attacks—And the Worst May Be Yet to Come

Snip- It’s not just more bears. There are more people recreating in bear country than ever, and a lot of them don’t know how to recreate safely. Following restrictions on indoor activities and international travel during the COVID-19 Pandemic, people from all over the country have turned their attention to public land in the western U.S. The sudden increase in visitors has put local land managers in a bind.


People dont learn how to navigate bears and thats with land managers and park rangers. There are stores that’ll sell you all of the equipment to go and be outdoors but the actual knowledge of how to be outdoors safely is learned. I learned from my wife about digging holes, elevating food, and urinating away from campsites. I was in my mid thirties. To me racism is no different as a concept but deeply worse. Because nobody talks honestly about it and often the victims of it have internal mechanisms to downplay it. “My parents, elders, and ancestors survived worse so who am I to complain”. For me. My folks put me in bear country. My parents couldn’t teach me or talk to me about things they didnt know or couldnt conceptualize because their solution was to give me better opportunities. To them racism wasnt scoring me different on tests, alienating me on assignments and activities, weaponizing calling my parents or the principal for the slightest infraction … it was always on me, a kid, to have done the right thing or pick my punishment. Follow the school rules which were against what was being taught in the house and get punished at home or break the school rules and get punished at home for having the school call.

And since racism is so insidious and systematic and not always overt, folks just didnt know and still dont know what people are being subjected to. We see it every year with national news now between mock auctions, racist homework assignments, school beatings, Halloween costumes … etc. And thats just the overt stuff.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 11:52 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
74. "RE: Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams"
In response to Reply # 62


  

          

It definitely happens. There are parents that dont know how to address it to their kids or just figure the kid will figure it out. I know of parents that purposely refuse to inform their kids about racism. One mom said she didn’t want to ruin her kids childhood with it. I get it though, couldnt see having my kids just get attacked out the blue with no understanding.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                    
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 12:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
75. "RE: Homie theres VHS Im not on a Katt Williams"
In response to Reply # 74


  

          

>I get it though, couldnt see
>having my kids just get attacked out the blue with no
>understanding.

I lived a very "you figure it out" ass life. Race was one of the easier things to figure out. Most everyone notices being othered.
Much easier than when I was 10 and my dad needed the garbage disposal fixed and he just handed me the replacment part
Or being 9 and "taught" to iron clothes by having me iron his pants and instead of telling me what I was doing wrong or right him just handing me them and telling me to do it again.
My entire upbringing has been being the first person in the family to do something, having them ask ME questions about how I did it, and not being allowed to as a kid to ask "why" or "how"

What I've come to imagine my life is that if I was a first generation immigrant kid it would've looked very similar to what my experience was
And so I consider myself first generation poverty and think of everything in that vein.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                    
tariqhu
Charter member
17834 posts
Sun Jan-28-24 06:16 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
91. "i have a friend who intentionally has very little discussions about raci..."
In response to Reply # 74


          

with her son. he's also in a very white world.

I get having limited convos so it's not the entire focus of household discussions or turning it into hate speech towards others. however, because it's so pervasive, it shouldn't be completely off limits in the house.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 11:10 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
50. "From reading stories that folks posted looks as if things happened "
In response to Reply # 47
Wed Jan-24-24 11:17 AM by MEAT

  

          

Then there was an ah ha moment to be talked about
And what Im saying as a specific difference is that there was never an ah ha or oh that what that is moment for me
When I was 8 and the teacher had all of the 10 non Black kids in the grades be rats in the nut cracker play and I said to her I wasn't going to be a rat specifically because thats what she assigned to only the brown kids, nobody talked to me about that I knew
There was never a talk in my house about how I was going to be treated differently. There was immersion.
The friends, community, and team mates I was around never left East Austin
Youth and rec leagues were full on segregated
It wasnt until AAU tournaments became more prominent down here in the early 90s that folks from the community would get a chance to compete against other groups.
Hell we weren’t even pop warner football until like 95.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 03:01 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
53. "But wasn't every body here immersed?"
In response to Reply # 50


  

          

And I didn't have an a ha moment (but my folks did talk about it).

I'm just trying to figure out why you think your experience was so different from everyone else.

What's the smugness about?



>Then there was an ah ha moment to be talked about
>And what Im saying as a specific difference is that there was
>never an ah ha or oh that what that is moment for me
>When I was 8 and the teacher had all of the 10 non Black kids
>in the grades be rats in the nut cracker play and I said to
>her I wasn't going to be a rat specifically because thats what
>she assigned to only the brown kids, nobody talked to me about
>that I knew
>There was never a talk in my house about how I was going to be
>treated differently. There was immersion.
>The friends, community, and team mates I was around never left
>East Austin
>Youth and rec leagues were full on segregated
>It wasnt until AAU tournaments became more prominent down here
>in the early 90s that folks from the community would get a
>chance to compete against other groups.
>Hell we weren’t even pop warner football until like 95.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 03:20 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
55. "Who would be smug about being aware of race early?"
In response to Reply # 53
Wed Jan-24-24 03:22 PM by MEAT

  

          

If anything I feel as if I lost something.
To grow as a kid without any innocence or illusions was a loss.
Im not better for it. No kid should have to be so hard.
At least sell me the dream that getting out of environment meant getting an opportunity to succeed
Instead I was the first generation of our entire family thrown into the pool of integration and told if I drowned it was because I didn’t work hard enough
Nobody in the house prepared me to be around whiteness because they didnt know what it meant in their own lives.
They knew the surface level, go on this side of town and x, end up in this part of the state ay night and y, date this kind of person and z. That surface level shit.
They’re just now as adult adults navigating shit Ive been dealing with as a kid. The systems.
No smugness. Not at all. I lost out.
Children shouldn’t have to navigate systems alone.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 08:33 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
69. "Fam, you could have just said your Folks didn't talk to you about race. "
In response to Reply # 55
Thu Jan-25-24 08:34 AM by Buddy_Gilapagos

  

          

It's a response several people have given here.

But I think you wanted to be above all the responses here so you come with the "I didn't have to have a talk about racism. I lived it." like everyone else here didn't live it. Or there was nothing really to talk about because I guess you just intuit.

This whole, I wish I had the innocence of you ignorant mofos had but I was cursed with the brilliance to see through the illusions you all lived; it's a low key flex. It's so hard to be so aware and smart!!

COme on man. Give us a break. We get it. You are super smart.

But Imma leave you alone man. Even if you didn't have an a-ha moment, it sounds like you did have a complicated relationship with race growing up (like the rest of folks) and my point isn't really to belittle that experience.

I'm just coming at you for trying so hard to make your experience sound soo different and above it all then the everyone else.

Peace God.





>If anything I feel as if I lost something.
>To grow as a kid without any innocence or illusions was a
>loss.
>Im not better for it. No kid should have to be so hard.
>At least sell me the dream that getting out of environment
>meant getting an opportunity to succeed
>Instead I was the first generation of our entire family thrown
>into the pool of integration and told if I drowned it was
>because I didn’t work hard enough
>Nobody in the house prepared me to be around whiteness because
>they didnt know what it meant in their own lives.
>They knew the surface level, go on this side of town and x,
>end up in this part of the state ay night and y, date this
>kind of person and z. That surface level shit.
>They’re just now as adult adults navigating shit Ive been
>dealing with as a kid. The systems.
>No smugness. Not at all. I lost out.
>Children shouldn’t have to navigate systems alone.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 09:01 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
70. "It woudlve ended with the same paragraph "
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

I just skipped the flufferies. My parents didnt talk to me about race as a kid
We have the conversations we were supposed to have then, now and with respect to my children and family members that are leaving us.

My dad still feels strongly that since they worked their way out that anyone that didn’t achieve was 100% due to laziness, greed, and/or stupidity. That’s their relationship to race today in 2024. And I understand not wanting to be a victim. But my contention now and as a kid was that you can’t ignore systems, you can’t fight them head on, but dont give them your brain.

For my parents what I had been dealing with didn’t set in until I was in the eighth grade. We moved to a wealthy all white school in San Antonio and my teammates were “jokingly” writing KKK on the bus windows after a basketball game. When I got in a fight with them I got kicked off the team. When my mom came to pick me up the team and coach never denied the writing, it was chalked up as kids being kids.

I got to do all of highschool at a solidly lower middle class school with a large Black and brown population. We never talked about anything before. But that was when things changed.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
22246 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 09:22 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
71. "Also I think you misunderstand me about intelligence "
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

I dont think Im so smart yada yada
You mentioned in other posts your family name has a legacy
Mine doesn't my great grandfather was a sharecropper he died when I was one, my grandmother cleaned houses most of my life, my dad had me in highschool and boom there I was. Being raised in a segregated city. The closest parallel I got would have been being raised in Richmond. But shit even they got a culture of HBCUs and only two hours for DC.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 04:27 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
60. "I’m reading his post in a Ronnie Mathis voice"
In response to Reply # 53


          

I can see the glasses and 2 tone smedium winter jacket

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Jan-28-24 02:48 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
86. "Lol, bruh "
In response to Reply # 60


  

          

It does come off with gun powder for breakfast responses. However, one poster also said they were enriched in Blackness from birth and taught the ways of white folks so when they started throwing racist words, it rolled off his back cause he already knew them for who they were.
It kinda came off as ‘above it all’ but its his story, same w/ MEAT.

Thing of it is despite being informed or not, all of us as Black children were introduced to the ways of racist in some way, some sooner than others but still in during childhood (3- 15).

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Feb-14-24 12:18 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
110. "maybe its not intentional "
In response to Reply # 86


          

but folks be on some weird flexes on here

“I walked across the Birmingham bridge with Martin when I was in my daddy’s nutsack”

“I was in jail with Detroit Red” ass niggas.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lach
Charter member
44318 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 06:16 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
35. "yep but my father told me to never focus on it"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

He can't stand to hear black folk focusing on it

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Tue Jan-23-24 09:57 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
42. "RE: yep but my father told me to never focus on it"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          

So how did he teach you to deal with it or get a premonition of when it was coming your way?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Lach
Charter member
44318 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 04:12 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
58. "RE: yep but my father told me to never focus on it"
In response to Reply # 42


  

          

He's always been the "keep your eyes peeled" type, be cool and just remove yourself from situations that could be trouble. He's just always said that racists will always be out there no matter what and that I was the only person that could hold me back today.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 08:15 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
46. "Is your dad Carribean or African?"
In response to Reply # 35


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Lach
Charter member
44318 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 04:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
57. "no he's from rural Georgia"
In response to Reply # 46


  

          

grew up picking cotton in the 40s, only one in his family to graduate high school, went into the military ended up in Boston, then college, grad school and whatnot. He's had a Forrest Gump type of amazing rise lol. Like the people he knew along the way and all that.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
tariqhu
Charter member
17834 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 05:13 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
97. "this is pretty dope."
In response to Reply # 57


          

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 09:03 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
48. "Sounds like Condeleeza Rice’s parents"
In response to Reply # 35


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

nonaime
Charter member
3116 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 06:12 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
43. "I took the subway and 2 busses to school. Plenty of time to listen to PE"
In response to Reply # 0


          

but also had access to positive images of ourselves growing up (at least during the high school years). NOI used to provide security at the subway stations, so I never experienced the bad cop deal; there were Black classmates who were clearly more well off than some of the white kids in class. So, I didn't internalize any of the blatant racist stuff: I was a nerd and one of the HS teachers...wasn't even my teacher...grilled me with a buncha science questions during class, because he thought I was cheating (on some, no way you negroes can be this good at this stuff). To remember that white guy walking off in a huff makes me laugh even to this day.

I try to do the same for my kids, show them the best of us and avoid the the psychological warfare (aka, local news) as much as possible. I mean, during the lockdowns, we did nothing but watched Black travel vloggers who went to places like Nigeria, Kenya, etc...to have them see how it isn't just a buncha people in huts was a big confidence boost...and hopefully they realize they don't have to be confined to the borders of this country (everyone has their passport).

~~~~~~~~
A bad Samaritan averaging above average men (c) DOOM

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
thegodcam
Member since Oct 22nd 2004
41480 posts
Wed Jan-24-24 11:31 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
63. "good stuff"
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

*******************************************************
i will not let finite disappointment undermine infinite hope
- Cory Booker

Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes, and at the end the Germans always win
- Gary Lineker

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Jan-28-24 02:55 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
87. "The expat adventures are so valuable"
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

Watched with my youngest too and he is so excited to see the world. My oldest who checked in now and then is now ready to tell the US to kiss his *** and wants me to move with him. I dont mind and glad both my boys are beyond this country.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44592 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 06:34 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
65. "I'm Black & born in 76, so yes...but here's the thing:"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

We're in a COMPLETELY different world right now...and what worked back then, doesn't work now.

We have NOT explicitly talked about racism with our children in the same way that we were "taught"....or should I say had fear instilled in us from a young age.

No matter how you slice it, despite all the talks about Black pride, perseverance, turning the other cheek, being strong, etc., etc., etc....we were raised with the self image of being victims and "less than". I don't want that for my children at all. We haven't figured out a way to teach them about racism, at this young age anyway, without them forming a false impression in their young minds of how that aligns with their identity.

We are doing our best to raise them human, citizens, individuals, Americans, children of Mr. & Mrs. FLUIDJ, grandchildren, part of a long history.....and wrapped up in all of that is of course their Blackness. We are teaching them that they need to move in this world focused more on the friends that they make, and the people that they DO like and that DO like them rather than the people that don't. The goal is for them to get it in their heads that those people don't matter and time shouldn't be wasted on them...white, Black, black, or anything...

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 06:45 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
66. "Good post.. my daughter is 8 and will speak on folks skin color"
In response to Reply # 65


          

“it was a white girl”

“look daddy, everyone here is Black right now”

which made me wonder if went too far with talking about race. Not sure yet, might judt be a phase but I don’t want her hyper focused on skin tone or the first thing she says to describe someone.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44592 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 07:52 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
67. "Here's the current "struggle" for us. Going back home to NC to visit..."
In response to Reply # 66


  

          

and my family approaches EVERYTHING from a race standpoint...
can't tell a story or have a random convo without race being brought into it...not even talking about serious stuff...just for instance...

I might say to my mom: "Ma, we're going up the street to grab some coffee from that new dessert shop, you want us to pick up anything for you?"

Her response: "No thank you. I went in there last week to get something but nothing looked good. This WHITE lady cashier was trying to get me to try samples but I just couldn't"....

It's like...what in the WORLD does that cashier's race have to do with this convo?? lol..

Same deal with all of my family back home...cousins, brother, aunts, uncles.... They legit look and move in the world hyper focused on black & white and boil almost everything down to that.

So when we visit, I'll look over at my kids and I can see them processing a mindset that we really don't want them to adapt.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 10:40 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
72. "lmao.. see, that sounds like normal convo for a Black household"
In response to Reply # 67


          

not something I would say to a my kid but talking to adults or elders, hell yeah.. moms is saying the cashier was on some white people shit, lol.

my aunt was talking about her son’s kids all being mixed so she had to catch herself when warning them about dating those “Becky’s”

I’m old school so I read your moms convo and I’m wondering where she was wrong.. I know the kids can hear it but to me, that aint hyper focused, thats normal convo with a detailed description of the cashier.



****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44592 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 10:59 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
73. "Yeah I'm not saying it wrong, but I recognized long ago it was the root"
In response to Reply # 72


  

          

of some of MY issues...

Since my kids are at that age where they absorb EVERYTHING and HEAR everything even when you think they aren't paying attention, I'm just super sensitive to it.

It's more of a problem for us when we're back home and I'll saying something like: "Let's go and check that new _____ out" or "Did y'all hear anything about ____?" Now _____ could be a store, a restaurant, a park, a person or anything...

Response will be something along the lines of: "Naw, that's where the white people be going" or "Do any Black folks be there?" or "Them Mexican's be doing that" ...

Meanwhile, my kids just want to try the new restaurant, or go to some store they saw a commercial for on TV (since the damn TV is ALWAYS on back home).......but the tone in which they hear that response is one of fear or restriction... so the connection they make is that they can't experience or do certain things back home in NC because they are Black. I don't want that for them. And most of the time, damn near ALL of the time, shit ain't that serious at all.

I recall a whole LOT of shit I missed out on growing up because family was so hung up on race and whether or not it was something Black folks would/should/could be doing.. We coulda,shoulda done ALLLLLLL that shit!.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 12:42 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
77. "word. I wonder if this is a southern thing"
In response to Reply # 73


          

or if the parents grew up in towns where race was a big deal

I definitely talked with my wife about my oldest focusing on race when describing people.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44592 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 12:47 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
78. "Possibly; it's not as pronounced on my wife's side. They from the D. "
In response to Reply # 77


  

          

And I totally get it too.
When my parents came up, in NC, you HAD to be hyper aware of race and where you could, should, shouldn't go. EVERYTHING about their existence has been race based, and in many respects it still is....


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 12:41 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
76. "ahhh, the new negro argument. I respectfully disagree"
In response to Reply # 65


  

          

This is a subject that gets me going.
But it goes like this:

Every generation, there is a tendency for some black people to declare, this is a new moment for black people, the past can only inform us but sooo much.

Amiri Baraka called in the Black Arts Movement in the 1960s.
Trey Ellis called it the New Black Aesthetic in 1989.
Pharrell Williams called in 'The New Black' in the 2010s.
(OJ lightweight said it when he said I am not Black, I'm OJ)

And I don't disagree that every time things were different, but I think its a mistake to cut off our past and not learn anything from it, and not seeing certain things that might not ever change.

In other words, I think it's kind of dangerous to not make black kids aware of our past, our journey and some of the obstacles that we as black people have always faced.

And I think it's possible to thread the needle of making them aware of the obstacles, without leaving them defeated before they even start or feel any sort of inferiority.

It's hard an complicated but its worth it so your kid doesn't turn out like Candace Owens or the black maga guy dancing in that video.

At the same time, I get what you are saying. I got kind of lightweight annoyed when their class read "Hair Like Mine" because it wasn't until they read that book that they had any notion that some people view their hair as inferior. Sure, some kids need to read the book because of their experience. But my kids didn't (and maybe not in a classroom).

And I 100% disagree with this "we were raised with the self-image of being victims and "less than""

No. No. No. For example, being raised in Black Nationalism/NOI household you are not only taught you are not inferior, but you are taught that you are SUPERIOR to your white counterparts. Even short of that, it is 100% possible to be raised racially conscious and not have inferiority issues.


Finally, not to say I got it figured out. I am not working with a plan really and just kind of winging it with my kids who are definitely in a different environment then I grew up (Ie, sending them to white majority schools). It's not like we sit them down for talks. we do a lot of gentle nudging. I mean, yall can clown me, but I think just having my kid watch Black-ish when they were young was super helpful in having some of those convos or alerting them to certain things so they didn't find out the hard way.

They are in the 7th grade and are really starting to run into the first little racial incidents. They usually come in the form of their little friend group pushing the boundaries on what they can say and get away with.

This week. I heard this story. These kids wanted to form a group where no joke was off-limit. My kids weren't in it and even told another black boy don't do it ("have some racial dignity" my son told him). Anyway the asian kid did it and then of course the white kid cross the line and started doing squinty eye jokes. My son told him to cut it out and he didn't so my son recorded him. white kid freaks out and begs him to delete it. My son says nah I am going to hold onto it, you should act right going forward.

My kids didn't want to tell us about it because they thought we would go to the school and complain about the kid. We didn't because we felt like we liked the way my son handled it. In fact, proud of how he handled it (yes this is low key stuntin). We also don't mind that our kids will continue to be friends with this kid. . Some might think it's important to escalate to the school the other kids parents, at this age, we think it's important for our kids to know to check folks when it happens, and if stops, keep it moving. My boys don't need the stress of a schoolwide scandal.

Anyway, all this is to say, be careful with that post-Black stuff.




>We're in a COMPLETELY different world right now...and what
>worked back then, doesn't work now.
>
>We have NOT explicitly talked about racism with our children
>in the same way that we were "taught"....or should I say had
>fear instilled in us from a young age.
>
>No matter how you slice it, despite all the talks about Black
>pride, perseverance, turning the other cheek, being strong,
>etc., etc., etc....we were raised with the self image of being
>victims and "less than". I don't want that for my children at
>all. We haven't figured out a way to teach them about racism,
>at this young age anyway, without them forming a false
>impression in their young minds of how that aligns with their
>identity.
>
>We are doing our best to raise them human, citizens,
>individuals, Americans, children of Mr. & Mrs. FLUIDJ,
>grandchildren, part of a long history.....and wrapped up in
>all of that is of course their Blackness. We are teaching
>them that they need to move in this world focused more on the
>friends that they make, and the people that they DO like and
>that DO like them rather than the people that don't. The goal
>is for them to get it in their heads that those people don't
>matter and time shouldn't be wasted on them...white, Black,
>black, or anything...


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 12:52 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
79. "Its a balancing act. My kids are too young for Black ish"
In response to Reply # 76
Thu Jan-25-24 12:55 PM by legsdiamond

          

but it is a good way to spark conversations about race or see kids in scenarios where race is a topic.

2 years ago we had an AirBnb a block from Dr Kings house. We took them to the museum and it was difficult to answer some questions.

When my daughter said she wanted to march I fucking lost it. Burst into tears.

I do get what he is saying regarding not wanting to turn kids into victims but at the same time, when they come home and say they don’t like their hair I know its because of seeing white girls with long hair.

We have to address these things BEFORE the world does IMO.

Wanted to add I mentor a young Black male at my kids school. He’s big, he’s Black. First thing I said to him regarding getting in trouble is Black males and how we are treated in classrooms. I’m not going to skip over that shit like its not important. He has a white woman for a teacher and I can tell by the way she described his issues that he is “one of those bad Black boys”

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44592 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 01:58 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
81. "Two things:"
In response to Reply # 79
Thu Jan-25-24 02:06 PM by FLUIDJ

  

          

I have two girls...no boys.
We've pretty much done the same by both of them from ages 0-7...

1st Thing:
The 11 year old never been hung up on hair or fashion and outward appearances in general....

The 7 year old, ALLLL about appearances and hair.

Now they both went to the same pre-schools and elementary schools.. Same demographics...Arlington is known for being white, but we have them in a lottery public school with probably the best mix of demographics you could hope for here....66% minority enrolment, with those minorities being black (Ethiopian, Eritrean, Somalian), Black, Latino, and Asian)... I say that to say that her hangup and focus on hair and appearances is largely because she sees such diversity in dress (Hijabs), hair textures and languages.

2nd Thing:
Youngest is 1st grade with a 22 year old white teacher from the mid-west. This year has been trying.... Our 7 year old ain't no punk...and WILL voice her opinion and WILL assert herself. That's been problematic for this young snowflake teacher...so we're navigating that in a child centric fashion rather than pulling the race card. We want daughter to know that she has to maneuver through her day in compliance with the school guidelines and teacher's expectations. We don't bring race into our discussions with her..... but when we go see the teacher and principle (3 times this school year so far)...we DO let THEM know that we watching them from racially loaded angle.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44592 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 01:21 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
80. "*shrugs* not an argument for me. This is how we've chosen to raise"
In response to Reply # 76


  

          

our children. We see validity in it and have measurable results as well.

I haven't assigned a title to it, that's you and all them other folks just trying to coin some shit for fame and recognition....I think titles are silly. Nobody renames the earth over it's millions of years of evolution....it's just accepted for it continues to evolve into.

Black is and Black will always be.

Not sure why you're concluding that anyone is cutting off their past. If anything, it's a conscious assessment and acknowledgment and calculated decision to advance the approach on our existence. This is a result OF learning.

You don't teach math by starting with the equations and problems....you start with the numbers. They'll learn about racism,
but we're not approaching it the way our parents did.

I remember making a post 10-11 years ago when my first daughter was born asking for book recommendations that don't beat you over the head with blackness. It was poorly worded for shock value of course, but there was validity that i'm sure now some folks get where I was coming from since a lot of us have kids now vs. back then....regarding that specific book, never been a fan of it. There's no real reason to teach a child, at the age group it's geared towards, that others hate or don't understand their hair....We own 2 copies because we support Black folks...but we held off on reading it to both of our girls for a while.

When I say "We" I'm talking about ME and my WIFE...that's not a collective we. I was raised in a southern bible toting, church going, Black family of southerners that'd been southerners since being brought over on the slave ships. Wife was similar, but not exactly. I have an arabic name that was a result of my parents being caught up in the movement in the mid-70's, but it didn't stick with them and they reverted back to being just regular Black folk by the time my younger brother was born. I sought out and learned about Black Nationalism as a direct result of Hip Hop in the 80's...they didn't stiffle my exploration, but they also didn't nourish it or encourage it. They allowed it. So i'm sharing MY experience, don't equate it as me making a blanket statement about everyone. We are not a monolith.

I sense that your kids, being in the pre-teen age bracket, are at the prime time for them to be exposed to and educated on racism and race in a way that allows them to be empowered by the knowledge. I personally don't think anything younger than 9 is an appropriate age...which I acknowledge is likely not a popular opinion. Our oldest is 11 and she's at the age where i'm able to talk to her about stuff and i'm confident she processes it in a way that doesn't diminish her self impression. My 7 year old though?? If you tell her that her pants are getting to short she translates that to you telling her she's an awful human being that will never amount to shit because she's rocking highwaters....*shrugs*

Again...none of this is "post Black stuff".


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Thu Jan-25-24 02:43 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
83. "IDK. I see this "doesn't diminish her self impression" talk though"
In response to Reply # 80


  

          

and take it back to you prior thing about not being able to talk about race without having a self image of being victims and "less than"; and the only point I really want to make is that there is a way to do it so they see their blackness as a superpower, not a burden.

Even talking about slavery. Binlahab use to say it all the time, the fact that we come from slavery and we are where are now is a testament to how amazing black people are. I could go on.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Jan-28-24 03:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
88. "Indeed"
In response to Reply # 65


  

          

But I think us 80’s kids had plenty of examples of not turning that cheek unless to 360 with a backhand. Stories of Nat Turner, Black Panthers, Death Angels, that one guy on the NYC subway in the 90’s, the LA Riots, etc. Then theres the things the news avoids to tell but it slips out anyway.

On another note, long as racism exist our kids will more than likely have to deal with it, but how they do is always based on the tools we’ve provided for them.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49274 posts
Mon Jan-29-24 10:02 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
92. "How you put Nat Turner, Black Panthers and Bernhard Goetz in the same"
In response to Reply # 88


  

          

sentence!?!?!?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 08:03 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
98. "Goetz??? You mean Colin Ferguson right."
In response to Reply # 92


  

          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
40thStreetBlack
Charter member
27080 posts
Tue Feb-13-24 02:30 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
103. "Goetz was NYC subway in the 80's, Ferguson was LIRR in the 90's"
In response to Reply # 98


          

and Ferguson doesn't belong in the same sentence as Nat Turner, Black Panthers etc., either.

___________________

Mar-A-Lago delenda est

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Feb-18-24 08:53 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
114. "Why doesnt Ferguson belong?"
In response to Reply # 103


  

          

I’m speaking on Black people who were fed up with racism and either organized or had just went into rage against it. Rather it was right or wrong is subjective, because in all the persons mentioned they were wronged by a continued system of oppression against Black people.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

handle
Charter member
18877 posts
Fri Jan-26-24 11:47 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
85. "Yes, and...."
In response to Reply # 0


          

And Julia (that was a big one) and Facts of Life, and Diff'rent Strokes, and All In The Family, and The Jeffersons, AND teachers in school, and basically everyone.

Even when I lived in North Carolina and New Orleans and Guam.

We also were taught about bussing and affirmative action in positive ways.

Mom and I talked about it when I was maybe 6? Dad was a little later. Dad lived in Louisiana and had some twinge of "There are good ones" but presented as "There ARE bad ones" but he never expressed racial discrimination or used slurs that I heard in my entire life. (Trust me, I've heard a bunch in the 70's and 80's in the south when I visited for the summer.)

It was a very simple message devoid of the "Well what about the racists rights to be racist? Isn't that reverse racist-ism?"

The amplification of "nuance" and bullshit started in the early 80's and has gotten us to where we are today.

------------


Gone: My Discogs collection for The Roots:
http://www.discogs.com/user/tomhayes-roots/collection

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 08:05 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
99. "Im taking a wild guess"
In response to Reply # 85


  

          

Are you white?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Tue Feb-13-24 06:44 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
104. "WAF"
In response to Reply # 99


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Feb-18-24 08:54 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
115. "RE: WAF"
In response to Reply # 104


  

          

Whoop…there it is.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
44252 posts
Tue Jan-30-24 12:43 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
93. "My mom was a Black Panther in Chicago in the 60s."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

lol,

I got a serious education in the ways of white folks.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 08:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
100. "RE: My mom was a Black Panther in Chicago in the 60s."
In response to Reply # 93


  

          

Can only imagine how deep those conversations went.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Ashy Achilles
Member since Sep 22nd 2005
4536 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 02:07 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
95. "Basically you can't do what your white friends do,"
In response to Reply # 0


          

watch who you hang around/ride around with, and be prepared for white people in the workplace to say and do questionable things

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 08:19 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
101. "This brings a second post to mind"
In response to Reply # 95


  

          

On when was the first and last time you used your parents advice concerning racism?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35842 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 04:19 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
96. "My mom told me not to trust ofays lol"
In response to Reply # 0


          

i laughed at her back then

little did i know...

d

"i do more for both our communities than you'll ever know." - Heinz
"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Mon Feb-12-24 08:19 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
102. "RE: My mom told me not to trust ofays lol"
In response to Reply # 96


  

          

I havent heard that word since the late 1900’s lol

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Tue Feb-13-24 02:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
105. "RE: got called a nigger so much by the time I went to school"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

they didn't have to




>Or did you receive an introduction via Eyes On the Prize,
>Roots etc or did you receive a live-action crash course via
>public encounter? How open are you with your children about
>racism?
>
>I finally watched a vid thats been circulating on Tiktok/Insta
>where a 55-60 yr old woman talks about her experience as a
>child and the trauma it brought. She says her mother gave her
>words of encouragement however she still carried low
>self-esteem and just couldnt fathom why white people were so
>mean and evil. It was sad, and I thought about my first
>encounter w/racism and how unprepared I was in not only
>dealing with it but also recognizing it. I would like to think
>Ive prepared my sons much better.
>
>What’s your take?

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
flipnile
Member since Nov 05th 2003
13513 posts
Tue Feb-13-24 03:23 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
106. "Damn, bro. Where'd you grow up?"
In response to Reply # 105


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Tue Feb-13-24 08:12 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
107. "NC"
In response to Reply # 106


  

          

>
sundown town type shit, still going on in some places too. They hung a black high school kid back in 2017 for having sex with a white woman a few hrs away from where I grew up

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Wed Feb-14-24 09:23 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
109. "umm.. where do you live in NC? "
In response to Reply # 107


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 11:18 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
117. "I don't live there anymore"
In response to Reply # 109


  

          

but the place where the young man got hung was in Bladenboro. There's a documentary on it called Always In Season


__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 12:20 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
120. "whew, drive by there on my way to Southport on 74. "
In response to Reply # 117


          

some of those places aren’t attractive at all and I wonder how folks live out there.

Always trips me out when I stop at Smithfields and see light skin girls with that serious southern twang. Where do yall live and how much do yall do it?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 12:44 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
121. "RE: 74? oh you know all about it then"
In response to Reply # 120


  

          

>some of those places aren’t attractive at all and I wonder
>how folks live out there.
>
>Always trips me out when I stop at Smithfields and see light
>skin girls with that serious southern twang. Where do yall
>live and how much do yall do it?
>
>

everybody in that area goes to the beach or to Fayetteville to party, you can see everything there is to do out there on your way to Smithfield LOL

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79049 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 01:16 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
122. "I know to get food and gas and get back on the highway.. lol"
In response to Reply # 121


          

my biggest fear is breaking down in one of those towns.

and what is weird is places like Wadesborough are filled with Black folk.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 01:24 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
123. "RE: oh its super segregated like that"
In response to Reply # 122


  

          

>my biggest fear is breaking down in one of those towns.
>
>and what is weird is places like Wadesborough are filled with
>Black folk.


same with mostly Native American towns like Maxton

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Sleepy300
Member since Dec 15th 2003
264 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 02:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
124. "Yikes...my wife is from down there (Nakina right outside Whiteville)"
In response to Reply # 117


          

I believe everything you're saying...it's "interesting" down there...still

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check ya self, what percentage is you? (c) Jay-Z

"I mean yeah I be lurking and shit...but I'm saying though..."

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 03:45 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
125. "RE: never been there but I've heard about it"
In response to Reply # 124


  

          

>I believe everything you're saying...it's "interesting" down
>there...still

yeah its wild man, time stands still on all the wrong shit

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
Sleepy300
Member since Dec 15th 2003
264 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 04:29 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
126. "Yeah...when we dated in college in the 90s/00s, I'd drive down there"
In response to Reply # 125


          

...I saw/heard all kinds of shit. Felt like the movies...on some "you lost son"?

Interestingly enough, her family is pretty deep in Columbus County. In fact, I think her older brother lives in Bladenboro and he's pretty popular in the community somehow. The duality down there is wild, lol.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Check ya self, what percentage is you? (c) Jay-Z

"I mean yeah I be lurking and shit...but I'm saying though..."

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                                
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 09:56 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
127. "RE: you ain't kidding"
In response to Reply # 126


  

          

>...I saw/heard all kinds of shit. Felt like the movies...on
>some "you lost son"?
>
>Interestingly enough, her family is pretty deep in Columbus
>County. In fact, I think her older brother lives in Bladenboro
>and he's pretty popular in the community somehow. The duality
>down there is wild, lol.
>

I had a friend that dated a white girl from down there, and let's just say he pulled through/backed in every parking space lol

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Feb-18-24 07:56 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
111. "RE: NC"
In response to Reply # 107


  

          

Is the town 2% black? If not then was anything done on the young man’s behalf (sentencing of murderer(s), retaliation by fam or community members)?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 11:20 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
118. "RE: that I don't know"
In response to Reply # 111


  

          

but I know as late as 2017 the authorities were still trying to decide if it was a hate crime or not. They tried to say he hung himself

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Garhart Poppwell
Member since Nov 28th 2008
18109 posts
Mon Feb-19-24 11:20 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
119. "RE:EDIT 2014 not 2017"
In response to Reply # 107


  

          

__________________________________________
CHOP-THESE-BITCHES!!!!
------------------------------------
Garhart Ivanhoe Poppwell
Un-OK'd moderator for The Lesson and Make The Music (yes, I do's work up in here, and in your asscrease if you run foul of this

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

csuave03
Member since May 20th 2007
3066 posts
Tue Feb-13-24 10:51 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
108. "Not really"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I don’t really appreciate the fact that I didn’t get more information on race and racism growing up.

But I am a healthy adult so I guess that’s the positive and I guess that’s what any parent would ultimately want for his/her child.

Still, my inquisitions have not been laid to rest…

I grew up in Black neighborhoods up until around 13 which I then moved to a more diverse (white & Black) neighborhood.

Went to a Black school up until 4th grade and transferred to a predominantly white school and attended a majority white junior high and high school.

Had Black friends throughout and only socialized with others races solely at school for the most part. I probably went to only one white persons house (a teacher) by the age of 18 and one Asian person’s house and no other races excluding Black.

I’m trying to paint a picture of a life largely impacted by racism but a lack of language to describe it as well as an inability to perceive how it impacted my life due to not having an explanation overtly expressed.

I developed some racial consciousness after going to Washington DC as an adult which is where I heard people speak more freely about racism. I developed more racial consciousness after attending a PWI in California as well as Howard.

It really made me question the quality of my upbringing.

I would imagine I’d tell my kids about racism but maybe that’s because I’m scorned. Not really sure.

I think it’s interesting that some say they were conscientious without being told about it. Also interesting is some saying that a knowledge of racism would lead to an inferiority complex

I wish you insight so you can see for yourself

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
3CardMolly
Member since Jun 08th 2007
13642 posts
Sun Feb-18-24 08:10 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
112. "RE: Not really"
In response to Reply # 108


  

          

Does seem odd to know of something without being informed of it first but all of us grew up in tv, particularly 70-80’s reruns, so even if parents didnt say the quiet part outloud, the Jefferson’s, Goodtimes and even 21 Jumpstreet did.

Then again I do recall being 4 and wishing to be like the little white girls in commercials cause it looked like they had everything, from the perfect girl’s bedroom and all the fun toys. I said it outloud and my Ma stopped and educated me on the beauty of being Black and Blackness, but as I think about it now I never wanted to change being Black me, I just wanted the what tv showed me the little white girls had.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lobby General Discussion topic #13497559 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com