I dont have too many regrets on how I handled this year. I did as many good things as I could with the bandwidth I had

2023 I’m trying to build upon some lessons of this year and going to spend the first week of the year trying to game plan and strategize.

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“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

Progress, not perfection...

Your critique about your progress seems normal and quite common. At least I know there are areas I wanted to have more results this year. (reading more, physical health, more invested in news and politics, being more connected to family) But there's only so much we can do day-to-day, especially in your situation with a family you've started and a wife. Plus, we can't forget the world literally is in a state of slow-motion and hasn't fully come out of that downtime.

Also, my father died in July after an 18-month battle with late-stage Alzheimers. I think, all things considered, things went as well as they could. I'm in therapy now, and that'll continue to be a way to work on myself and make progress on some short and long-term goals.

Best of luck to you as you continue to grow and become your best self.

<--- Me when my head hits the pillow

absorb so much. For the last 3 years, I've been running to get more and more prepared for a career pivot. The pivot happened and the learning ramped up.

The focus now will be on better pacing for work related stuff and also getting back to being caring about body and overall health. Had some drop off because of life.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

I let my first and only attempt at therapy and how badly it turned out, convince me that I'll be fine without it and I can just tough my way through things...which is what got me to where I was, early 2020 when I finally went to the VA and asked for help. Since then I have made a couple of half-assed attempts at finding a new therapist. Taking care of one's self should be a no-brainer, but...

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

>I let my first and only attempt at therapy and how badly it
>turned out, convince me that I'll be fine without it and I can
>just tough my way through things...which is what got me to
>where I was, early 2020 when I finally went to the VA and
>asked for help. Since then I have made a couple of half-assed
>attempts at finding a new therapist.

>Taking care of one's self should be a no-brainer, but...

Truth be told, the first sentence is why the last sentence makes so much sense.

There are so many reasons not to take care of yourself to the utmost, or at least reasons we tell ourselves. For me, it was much more fatalistic, a deep rooted feeling that things could only get so good for me, but that I was somehow destined to fail at every turn. On one hand, that was my own voice telling me these things, on the other, life experiences continually reinforced them.

One of the things I've learned to remind myself of, is just how many other people- men in particular- deal with these and other issues. it's not just you, and you're not alone- even if you're alone.

I'm glad to hear you're making that effort fam. More people- and more men- need to take that seriously.

I appreciate your words, more than you know...and I don't just mean in this particular post. Thank you.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

In the process of getting better, I am reminded of far too many things today's "me" would have done better, wouldn't have done at all.

I suppose it's like when you have a bad flu- you're still miserable while you're in it, but once those symptoms start healing up, you start realizing how fucked up you really were.

I'd say that's been the biggest draw back to therapy, the further away I get from my old self, the more clarity I have. I'm a lot better in a lot of ways, but a lot of those old callouses have worn down, for both better and worse.

The biggest regret is not working seriously at this years ago.

But that's part of the process, I suppose.

To that end, I suppose my resolution is to stay on this course, expanding it to my physical health.

I've done more music this last year than any period in recent memory, so the goal is to open a beat store and develop a YT/IG/Spotify presence by April.

That, more quality time with the fam, less time bullshitting online are priorities.