dunno y'all..i'm really struggling today

i don't live my life in fear..i go do what i need to do

but i honestly was a lil shook at the supermarket the other day...that's so not like me so why is this Buffalo terrorist attack fukking with me?

they fuckking outright hunting us

yeah i know its lowkey always been that way but why does this feel different, even tho its not?

i don't have a point...i'm just fuccked up right now

anybody else that want to share their feelings in here can. or not.

its all good. love yall.

d

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

And there are millions of them out there. For all that "allies" do to distance themselves from the atrocities they will never know the fear, pain, hurt and loss that is average capacity for black folk. There are so many voices out their championing on a multitude of progressive issues, but none of them mean shit without reconciliation of the historical memory of slavery that ripples throughout the nation.

I remember talking to my almost 90yo relative after Jan 6th. They protested the Klan. Like seriously that shit is fucked up. Now imagining grandparents in Buffalo that lived through the height of the Klan getting murdered by that fucker. It is not just sobering and depressing, it is a threat to our future. That's the scary shit.

█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
Big PEMFin H & z's
"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1 thing, a musician." � Miles

"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."

>And there are millions of them out there. For all that
>"allies" do to distance themselves from the atrocities they
>will never know the fear, pain, hurt and loss that is average
>capacity for black folk. There are so many voices out their
>championing on a multitude of progressive issues, but none of
>them mean shit without reconciliation of the historical memory
>of slavery that ripples throughout the nation.

very well said. yes

Now imagining grandparents in Buffalo that lived through
>the height of the Klan getting murdered by that fucker. It is
>not just sobering and depressing, it is a threat to our
>future. That's the scary shit.

yeah thanks for articulating that cuz this might be what's really under my skin..that they were all (expect 1) 50 and over..6 out of 10 were 60+...these elders survived so much..including COVID!!!! only to be snuffed out in this way...

d


>
>█▆▇▅▇█▇▆▄▁▃
>Big PEMFin H & z's
>"I ain't no entertainer, and ain't trying to be one. I am 1
>thing, a musician." � Miles
>
>"When the music stops he falls back in the abyss."


I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

and I can’t front.

There are times when I think about my kids being in school or of these noise canceling headphones put me at greater risk in a store

but I can only control what I can control and they want us to be shook and scared of them and I can’t let them take that away from me.

fuck them cowards.

we are too strong.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

at the same time, Black folk are both strong and weak

we're vulnerable. collectively. for whatever reason...that's real as fuck.

d

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

I don't know why I spend so much time on twitter because all it does it leaves me pissed off. Either at terrible news or people saying assinine things. I've had made more of an effort to prune folks who aren't sharing real information and expertise but its hard to avoid constant hysteria about everything. Like the most authoritative thing I read about Monkey Pox says its not a real threat but 90% of what's generated on social media news sources are designed to scare people to get more clicks.

With Buffalo, I want to read one long form article about what happened, the victims and the killer (and his parents) and that's it. I could easily spend all day going down the rabbit hole of reading tweets thought pieces about it but I wouldn't necessarily gang extra information I would just get more fucked out about it.

I got into an argument on a whatsapp chat because someone shared the video of the shooting and I was like why? Dude thought everyone need to see it. I pointed out that's exactly what the killer wanted, for everyone to see it and kick off a race war. No good comes from watching that video. But for my man, sharing the video felt like doing something. Felt like being more engage. I think its not.


That very same whatsapp group started off with just some homeys mainly talking about sports, bk going ons and hip-hop and has turned into sharing terrible news stories 50 times a day. I have to log off because ain't really my place to say stop sharing terrible news.

I was legit going to make the post today with the thesis is the world can't be as bad as the media makes it out to be. We are witnessing the effects of the outrage machine that our current internet is. We lived through the 80s. I can't think of a metric collectively we aren't better off then we were then.

I say that not to minimize the bad news in the world or how anyone feels, but I want folks to recognize that there is a larger cultural phenomenon that is built on us feeling in a constant state of franticness. Its a business model that makes FB and Twitter billions. And now its seep into our social lives and world views.

I am on another chat, a dad chat, and I clown it because its a bit corny and a lot of LLC type brothers but at the very least it is extremely positive. Cats are always encouraging each other and sharing and celebrating each others good news. There are arguments but because everyone knows each other it never gets crazy or disrespectful. I imagine its how Facebook was supposed to be or could have been.

Anyway, all that to say as a matter of self-care we need to monitor how much we expose ourselves to a system designed to make us feel terrible. Also to say its important to surround ourselves with positivity and supportiveness.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

technology is another tool for the white supremacists.

a well-oiled machine that is working just as it was meant to.

_____________
if racism is a cancer, black thought is the answer.

Rjcc is code for "bitch-ass troll"

DROkayplayer™

you're right.

i gotta re-adjust how i'm interacting w/these spaces.

the only thing i'd disagree on is that we're collectively better off...we'd have to talk about those metrics some other time lol

d

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

we are indeed at war.

the sooner we realize which sides represent what, we'll be better off.

dr. welsing was right, and neely fuller, jr. BEEN laid out the plan.

10 stops.

http://www.endarkenment.com/endarken/thecode/conduct/10-stops.htm

this shit ends over night.

the challenge is how deep shit has gotten. that's why it feels different. racists have all the resources in the world to maintain status quo, and have done so. racism has gone through stages of invention, establishment, recruitment, and now refinement, where calling out racist behavior/acts is now deemed racism. context and reasoning mean nothing to these discussions anymore. it's crazy.

majority black folks find it way easier to argue amongst each other, meanwhile the white supremacists sit back and laugh.

racism should be regarded and treated as a mental illness. but, we can't expect those who benefit from it to change. especially when we're getting further and further from acknowledging what it is.

these mofos are fighting ultimately for SURVIVAL, and we were always meant to be the burden bearers.

_____________
if racism is a cancer, black thought is the answer.

Rjcc is code for "bitch-ass troll"

DROkayplayer™

America, domestically, is on an intense downward spiral, and it's only going to get worse.
As the outgroup of the society, we've spent the last 40 years chasing truly useless political ideology while materially everything has gotten much worse, and we've gotten way more vulnerable.

What we need to be aware of is just how cavalier and desensitized American institutions and white folks are becoming to these massacres of Black folks.
That does NOT bode well for the future at all.

We can build digital collectives, but strength in numbers don't mean shit to a single AR

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

And I judge the fuck out of so called allies who say they still have extended fam who are Trumpers etc. I judge them for not completely disowning these family members regardless of relation.

There's more Id love to say but I dont want to get reported.

The solutions can't be discussed in a public forum but...violence is the answer.

A certain demo isn't nearly afraid enough


on sabbatical.

does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

>The solutions can't be discussed in a public forum
>but...violence is the answer.
>
>A certain demo isn't nearly afraid enough

They are that’s why they attack elderly people in churches and grocery stores

________________________________________
"Take the surprise out your voice Shaq."-The REAL CP3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2H5K-BUMS0

Ppl ain’t watching OKP like that. And them white radicals say it in the open on their shit

<--- Big Baller World Order

>Ppl ain’t watching OKP like that.

there's okp ops that can see this..also never take for granted that we're not being watched/monitored

And them white radicals
>say it in the open on their shit

they have the privilege and protection to do so. we don't.

cops and law enforcement exist to protect them from us..not the other way around.

d



I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

but that's exactly what I mean when I say people would rather speculate and make stuff up than deal with the evidence. As a Black person online, and especially in a place where many Black people potentially congregate on OR offline, you should always assume "they" are watching you. It's just the smart thing to do. Whether you aim to fight, plan or strategize, do not be dumb or naive about it.

>And them white radicals say it in the open on their shit

And torturing them or being indifferent to their suffering has never been the American way of life. Such an attitude toward Black people is the foundation of America, still. If you had a manifesto about offing white folks on Reddit, the feds would be at your door. Do not be naive.

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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

>

>The solutions can't be discussed in a public forum
>but...violence is the answer.

...i agree with this. and it can't be discussed further anywhere online.

>A certain demo isn't nearly afraid enough
>

100%

d

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

they were innocent people minding their business, gunned down because
they were black by a white teenager with nigger scribbled on his gun.
too much hate to be so young, and the reason apparently was because
blacks are taking over? everywhere that i go, it's gentrified.
delusional reality.

2016 I got a Glock
January 6th I got a rifle
I know what I need to do to protect home, but for us, out in the wild ... I got nothing
I'm fighting via attrition, got our passports, shedding down assets, making sure we're flexible.
But if OUR (the collective us) response, is to pray and appeal to better angels, we're fucked.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

Youre just having a human experience and peaking your spirit out of the water to realize YOU REALLY ARE BEING HUNTED. You know it everyday but sometimes the reality of it can sneak up like a white ninja

**********
I should put that in a song

@nategoodness
www.nategoodness.com

The avatar is old. And, no, that hat was not a groovy style back then, either.

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

our current predicament.

~
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~
~
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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

>they fuckking outright hunting us
>
>yeah i know its lowkey always been that way but why does this
>feel different, even tho its not?



We've never been this far from slavery and Jim Crow, so every second it's different in that regard. Furthermore, we've seen pockets of what we thought was progress. Civil Rights Movement in the 60s, we swore we were making progress. Again in the 80 and early 90s, I remember all the public conversations being had even on daytime tv, folks thought we were "having the conversation" and moving things foward. At the end of slavery in the 1800s, we thought great things were coming. But here we are in 2022, still dealing with public execution with not even an anti-hate protection bill passed while Asians and Jews have gotten protections.

The main way this is different imo is the refinement of it all. They used to wear hoods and burn a cross in your yard. Now they've had the first "black" president, created a bunch of singular Black millionaires in entertainment etc, so society is convinced Black people just fail ourselves. In so many ways, they destroy us in plain sight, and it's never been this systematic/systemic. It's just on complete autopilot, so much that Black people THEMSELVES don't even realize it's happening... like slowly boiling a frog. Black people have both been lulled to sleep and duped into participating in their own demise. It's taken the white collective over a century to master this particular system. That's what's new imo. Not the racism itself but the way it's been streamlined at this point.

My thoughts/feelings? Yall know me. I'm not surprised. Been saying it was coming to this for years if Black folks didn't wake up FAST. I'm not built to be silent, but I don't expect my words to resonate now. The sleep is too deep for most Black people and they do not want to wake up. It's frustrating honestly. After putting so much of my life on hold to research, study, dig and understand it all, the hardest part is that negros would rather speculate than deal with empirical evidence. They've done a helluva job on us. It's going to get worse.

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Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

I'm ok with it because the only logical action is reciprocity. People have an obligation to protect themselves.


They look for, their words, soft targets like women and elderly. The response from government pisses me off. They're pivoting to other issues instead of thoroughly punishing those involved. What do we have to do to get the same protected status as the lgbt and asian communities? Can we get a task force and hotline for hate crimes like the asian community?

Been training for a while now, getting ready as best I can because ultimately this is a war. While I'm typing on here they're preparing to commit acts of state sanctioned terrorism. Should these incidents continue to happen a revolt of some kind will happen and no amount of allyship, fake promises, and hashtags will stop it. Until then don't hope, don't pray, get ready. I won't revolt physically because that's stupid. It's other ways to kill this beast.

No empathy for white misery (c) BDot

"root for everybody black haters say that's crazy, wow..."

and cynicism. I'm from Buffalo, I shopped at that Tops, my family shops at that Tops, a member of my church was killed in the terrorist attack on that Tops.

Some of what I hear though is unhelpful and in some cases possibly dangerous. There's talk of being at war, there's talk of no progress since slavery. Talk that we should all take up arms and that there are no protections against hate crime etc. I am not in agreement with these ideas.

Black people have problems in this country. No doubt. These problems are systemic and have persisted for too long. However, the idea that we have not progressed since slavery, or since jim crow or even since the civil rights era is not just wrong; it is dangerous. That idea gives rise to the ideology that nothing matters because progress is impossible. I would suggest those who espouse that idea should rethink their position.

As much as this most recent attack hurts me (this person basically looked up my zip code to try to kill people who look like me) It does fall quite neatly into the pattern of rampant guns and extremism in this country.

I feel like people forget that a gunman killed a classroom full of children. A gunman killed several Asian people at a spa. A man walked into a synagogue and shot several people.

A man walked into a mosque in New Zealand and shot up a bunch of people.

Most countries get a taste of this and they go to a simple answer, regulate guns. Mass shootings also don't seem to be such a staple in other countries. I do not think it is because in other countries all races live in perfect harmony.

In America it seems we always want to find a way to fix the problem with more guns. It doesn't seem like that is working.

Sorry for the rant.

www.anwarmorse.com
https://www.instagram.com/thereal_anwarmorse99/

... don't need to be 'helpful'.

we are allowed to take time to just feel...and process. and work towards what's helpful in our own ways, as survivors.

and rants are always ok, as well.

d

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

of people in absolute hysteria while it was being casually handcuffed

wore a full hazmat suit to school and sat down in a classroom

and lived

it's all you need to know really

I actually find perusing old posts more interesting than what may be going on on the front page these days and I found this today:


https://board.okayplayer.com/okp.php?az=show_topic&forum=4&topic_id=13111463&mesg_id=13111463&listing_type=search


And I read it and I was like, "wow, I was in a dark place". It's strange to read now because I don't feel like that at all right now. Not even a little bit. I remember what was going on with me and yeah it wasn't a good place but now I am on the other side of it and it feels good to have survived it all. I feel stronger and wiser for the experience.


All that to say, this feeling won't necessarily last forever.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

The sense of ease I felt out of the 'states' I can't even convey it. It's just different outside.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

and let me tell you 1 break out into a literal joyful cheese grin every time the border officer waves me through...by this point they know me and my car lol

the feeling i feel as i'm driving on those roads is indescribable

d

I don't speak to provoke. I speak because I think our time is short and each moment that we are not our truest selves, and we say what we do not mean because we imagine that is what somebody wants us to say, is wasting our time on this Earth - C. Adichie

in the aftermath of a mass shooting there 2 years ago.

its hard not to get jealous of countries who still operate according to the needs/health/safety of the citizens.

Excellent word usage

www.instagram.com/schemeofthings