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Subject: "God damn child care is expensive (no duh)" Previous topic | Next topic
walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Thu Jan-13-22 04:06 PM

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"God damn child care is expensive (no duh)"


  

          

My wife and I both work from home. Which has made the last 7 months amazing. Since our daughter has been here, we have been able to witness and be apart of every single moment of her life.

That has been wonderful. I am so grateful for the opportunity to do this.

However, as she's grown, so has the demands for attention, education, naps, and so on. So since work is getting for both of us a little more demanding, we are feeling like we aren't able to give her the attention she deserves.

We had looked into places before she was born.

3 decent daycares near us cost the following.

1 - 8:30am to 3:30pm - $12,650/year
2 - 7:30am to 2pm - 13,000/year
3 - 82am - 5pm - $14,750/year - this one also charges $150 a month for food. $450 yearly registration fee, and $200 for uniform.

We just reached out them again and only the first one has room available. The cost are more if you pay monthly instead of all at once. So option 1 is a cost of $1,300 a month for 10 months aka 13K a year. $1,300 is almost a mortgage payment. Option 1 looks decent enough, but the "play area" is a concrete walled in outside with astro turf on the ground. They have a 1-3 ratio which, I can see why it cost that much.

The craziest thing, I decided to look into qualifications for state assistance and for a family of 3, in FL to qualify you have to be in school and not make more than $32K a year.

That is insane.

I know it sounds like one of those issues that should have been paying attention to, but yeah it can be difficult to see something until it affects you and your wallet.

This shit need to be seriously worked on, cuz continuing to have stagnant wages with increased childcare cost is not sustainable.

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
when i was growing up
Jan 13th 2022
1
People really have no idea at ALL...
Jan 13th 2022
2
More and more, I see the value of multigenerational homes.
Jan 13th 2022
3
      Exactly. I mentioned that my parents helped with child care.
Jan 13th 2022
4
           Definitely have to make a strong effort to get to know your neighbors th...
Jan 14th 2022
5
                you lucked up to live around friendly white republicans?
Jan 14th 2022
6
                I mean...when you put it like THAT .... lol...but they're actually an od...
Jan 14th 2022
12
                People have more in common than not, and are generally nice
Jan 14th 2022
8
                Most people aren’t extremist like the news tries to imply
Jan 14th 2022
14
                not child care related
Jan 14th 2022
9
I definitely don't miss child care expenses!
Jan 14th 2022
7
It would definitely be different if he were older during this pandemic
Jan 14th 2022
15
This is why we retired my mother in law after we had our second
Jan 14th 2022
10
2 kids… over $18,500 and we were taking summers off
Jan 14th 2022
11
THIS
Jan 14th 2022
13
RE: 2 kids… over $18,500 and we were taking summers off
Jan 14th 2022
16
      Get that 529 started now.. lol
Jan 14th 2022
17
           that's good.
Jan 14th 2022
18
           Thanks.. we started late with the first baby
Jan 14th 2022
20
           Oh yea, we started that up in July.
Jan 14th 2022
19
                Nice.. only thing else I can add is good luck and it will be over soon
Jan 14th 2022
21
Heaaarddd that
Jan 14th 2022
22
$1,600
Jan 17th 2022
25
My wife's high school friend owns
Jan 14th 2022
23
ummmm I am Jealous
Jan 17th 2022
26
I have a 4 year old daughter and 18 month old son
Jan 15th 2022
24
$2,550 for daycare is ridiculous
Jan 17th 2022
27
It is ridiculous and I just tell myself that this isn’t forever
Jan 18th 2022
30
Damn, pre-school is free in NC now
Jan 18th 2022
28
      By preschool are you referring to Pre-K?
Jan 18th 2022
29

luminous
Charter member
11789 posts
Thu Jan-13-22 04:12 PM

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1. "when i was growing up"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

all the kids in the neighborhood stayed with an old lady named Gran

--
Sometimes you have to look reality in the face and say 'No!'
-Ben (Reaper)

  

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soulfunk
Charter member
9933 posts
Thu Jan-13-22 04:24 PM

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2. "People really have no idea at ALL..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>but yeah it can be difficult to see
>something until it affects you and your wallet.

I have a 13 year old and a 7 year old. Back in 2008 when my oldest was a baby I was SHOCKED at how expensive childcare was. At that time we were paying around $1200 per month, for a PART TIME schedule of three days per week. My parents took care of him for the other two days. And this was for a middle of the road daycare in our area - not one of the best at all, but not one of the cheaper daycares.

That being said, the crazy thing is that it doesn't stop when they start going to school. My youngest is in 2nd grade now, and we have to pay $200 per week, so over $800 per month for his before/after school care which is at his elementary school. And don't even get me started on how expensive child care is during the Summer for daycare programs. And having two kids at once? We thought that waiting 6 years for our second kid would make sense from a childcare perspective, but didn't realize we'd be covering child care for our oldest through 6th grade.



  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Thu Jan-13-22 04:32 PM

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3. "More and more, I see the value of multigenerational homes. "
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

when i was a kid, my grandmom lived with us.

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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soulfunk
Charter member
9933 posts
Thu Jan-13-22 04:45 PM

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4. "Exactly. I mentioned that my parents helped with child care."
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

We literally bought our house in the subdivision next to my parents to make that work more easily. And we still rely on them HEAVILY.

The other issue with our current culture is that neighborhoods aren't close communities any more. As a kid growing up, we were close to EVERYONE in our sub. We were closer then to folks who lived four streets over to us than we are now to our literal next door neighbors. I have to have my wife remind me of our next door neighbors names all the time. Kids in the sub don't play with each other like we used to.

So that's one of the reasons that growing up in the 80's we were able to be home alone - neighbors looked out for each other. Younger kids would often be at in home daycares down the street. Stuff just isn't the same any more...

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44029 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 09:19 AM

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5. "Definitely have to make a strong effort to get to know your neighbors th..."
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

days....
I know every hood is different, and I'm sure we lucked up...but we know practically every neighbor on our block, and the houses behind us. We have keys to 3 of the neighbor's house, and they have keys to ours. Our next door neighbors also offered their house to us for 2 months when ours was being renovated and my wife was pregnant 5 years ago.... We lived there for two months while they were on an extended road trip.

Not that it matters...but I guess it kinda does....we're the only Black family on the entire street....I say that to say; 15 years ago, if you'd have told me that I'd be sharing keys with some 60+ year old republican neighbors, living in another WASP neighbors house for 2 months, swapping tools with another old republican catholic neighbor, and waving to random folks that I only know their dogs' name... I'd have laughed in your face...

Unfortunately we had our kids in a time frame that landed younger than our immediate neighbors, and has them about 3 years older than our extended neighbors....so still having zero'd in on any neighborhood friends yet...but I think as they get into the upper elementary school years that'll improve.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 09:34 AM

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6. "you lucked up to live around friendly white republicans? "
In response to Reply # 5


          

lmao

I know what you are trying to say but it sounds weird af.

“These some good white folk”

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44029 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 10:34 AM

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12. "I mean...when you put it like THAT .... lol...but they're actually an od..."
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Arlington is super blue liberal county...there are probably like 10 republicans total in our big neighborhood and two of them just happen to be across the street from us. Old neighborhood....one of them actually grew up in the house they live in now...

  

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PimpTrickGangstaClik
Member since Oct 06th 2005
15546 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 09:42 AM

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8. "People have more in common than not, and are generally nice"
In response to Reply # 5


          

But let some people tell it, those neighbors are your mortal enemies and a threat to your survival.


>
>Not that it matters...but I guess it kinda does....we're the
>only Black family on the entire street....I say that to say;
>15 years ago, if you'd have told me that I'd be sharing keys
>with some 60+ year old republican neighbors, living in another
>WASP neighbors house for 2 months, swapping tools with another
>old republican catholic neighbor, and waving to random folks
>that I only know their dogs' name... I'd have laughed in your
>face...
>

_______________________________________

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 10:44 AM

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14. "Most people aren’t extremist like the news tries to imply"
In response to Reply # 8


          

I’ll be honest tho..

I have no idea where my neighbors stand politically and that is the way I like it.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Ashy Achilles
Member since Sep 22nd 2005
4163 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 09:59 AM

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9. "not child care related"
In response to Reply # 5


          

but our neighbors are fox news-watching retirees

husband always offers to fix things, sharpen mower blades, change mower oil, loan tools, rolls garbage cans from the end of our driveway to our garage door on trash day, etc.

wife is always offers things she bakes or cooks, views my wife as one of her best friends

it is a weird experience, indeed

  

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tariqhu
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16287 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 09:34 AM

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7. "I definitely don't miss child care expenses!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

mine are 17 and 12 now, so I'm outta that game. we lucked up when we moved to this area and found a lady that provided in home care. wasn't the greatest home, but she took care of them and they were learning things before pre-k.

my mom and MIL helped a ton. from transporting them around to picking them up to go eat or keeping them on weekends. we needed them. otherwise, it would've been a mess for us trying to work and handle everything the kids needed.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 11:09 AM

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15. "It would definitely be different if he were older during this pandemic"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

We are really worries we will be holding back her development

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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tomjohn29
Member since Oct 18th 2004
16665 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 10:21 AM

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10. "This is why we retired my mother in law after we had our second"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

we put both kids into preschool when the time was right but those were both part time programs
good luck though

______________________________________

Navem nu, cuando sol
Tutu nu, vondo nos nu
Vita em, no continous non
Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen

When the sun shades the ship
We sweat and life is not safe
To swim or to touch not
When we unite we hedge amen

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 10:32 AM

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11. "2 kids… over $18,500 and we were taking summers off"
In response to Reply # 0


          

when we did our taxes and they said “damn, that is a lot of money” we replied.. “we know, it was our money”

when friends would say “do you know what you could do with all that money?” we replied.. yes, we know.

real rap, the pandemic was a blessing in disguise for our children finances. It was terrible for their development and stressful for us since we had to work remotely but man, we saved a ton of money.

Now we pay $250 a week for a babysitter for afterschool care.

How is daycare more expensive than an in-state university?

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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soulfunk
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9933 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 10:41 AM

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13. "THIS"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

>real rap, the pandemic was a blessing in disguise for our
>children finances. It was terrible for their development and
>stressful for us since we had to work remotely but man, we
>saved a ton of money.

We literally did a full kitchen, dining room, and powder room renovation last summer with the additional savings we had due to pandemic childcare savings.

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 11:32 AM

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16. "RE: 2 kids… over $18,500 and we were taking summers off"
In response to Reply # 11


  

          


>How is daycare more expensive than an in-state university?

This is what scares me!

Yeah, if she were older the pandemic would most likely had been a saving.

7 month old though.... geez.

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 12:23 PM

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17. "Get that 529 started now.. lol"
In response to Reply # 16


          

I’m sure people are doing better than me but proud to say my kids are 6 and 4 and we have a little over 10K saved already for their college education.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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tariqhu
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Fri Jan-14-22 12:47 PM

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18. "that's good."
In response to Reply # 17


          

we started late on those, so they'll have a bit to get started but not like it really should be.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 02:01 PM

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20. "Thanks.. we started late with the first baby"
In response to Reply # 18


          

and by late I mean when she was a little but after her first bday.

but then we got aggressive to make up for it

and any financial gifts get thrown in there as well.

but I do recommend having another investment vehicle just in case they don’t want to go to college. I can’t take credit for this tip, I got it from an OKP when discussing investments.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 01:57 PM

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19. "Oh yea, we started that up in July. "
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 02:07 PM

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21. "Nice.. only thing else I can add is good luck and it will be over soon"
In response to Reply # 19


          

of course more expenses will replace it but none will be this bad unless you go enroll in a private school.

I used to make this post every 6 months when we were in the thick of it. Counting down the days.

That summer break gave us hope.

I will admit that my budgeting has been trash lately simply because we had a surplus. Have to get better because I know my savings should be higher but we are still in party mode.

Prolly the first time in life where I no longer count the days to payday.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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maro
Member since Jan 06th 2022
3 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 03:25 PM

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22. "Heaaarddd that"
In response to Reply # 0


          

We are paying... 1600 a month! More than my mortgage. That's 8am - 3:30 - 5days, though we are picking her up at 12 these days so she isn't eating and napping with a mask off at school.

Hard enough having an unvaxxed toddler, add in we are working from home....with no family help, it's a shit show.

Sliver lining like you mentioned.... working from home has allowed me to see her grow these last 3 years.

but 16hundo..... I am def counting the days.... bank account is hurting.

--------------
Charter Member whose account was lost permanently but reborn.

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Mon Jan-17-22 09:26 AM

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25. "$1,600"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

jesus that is a scary number. How is the quality of the place?

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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jetblack
Member since Nov 14th 2004
44741 posts
Fri Jan-14-22 07:26 PM

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23. "My wife's high school friend owns"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

a daycare and we get a discount and a unique schedule. $600/mo which include breakfast and lunch.

---
Knock knock, Neo...
---
Stay +.
---

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Mon Jan-17-22 09:26 AM

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26. "ummmm I am Jealous "
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

that is fantastic

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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calij81
Member since Jan 17th 2007
12933 posts
Sat Jan-15-22 12:32 AM

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24. "I have a 4 year old daughter and 18 month old son"
In response to Reply # 0


          

4 year old goes to preschool 8:30 to 5:15 = $1,350 a month

18 month old goes to preschool 8:30 to 3:30 = $1,200 a month

Next fall he will go to 5:15 so I am “saving” money this year.

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16107 posts
Mon Jan-17-22 09:28 AM

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27. "$2,550 for daycare is ridiculous"
In response to Reply # 24


  

          

Its wholly unsustainable

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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calij81
Member since Jan 17th 2007
12933 posts
Tue Jan-18-22 05:21 PM

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30. "It is ridiculous and I just tell myself that this isn’t forever "
In response to Reply # 27


          

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
72020 posts
Tue Jan-18-22 01:13 PM

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28. "Damn, pre-school is free in NC now"
In response to Reply # 24


          

I think the law passed last year.

Parents who pay for private school. Whew.. yall got that paper.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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calij81
Member since Jan 17th 2007
12933 posts
Tue Jan-18-22 05:20 PM

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29. "By preschool are you referring to Pre-K? "
In response to Reply # 28


          

Do they take kids as young as 18 months or do you have to be a minimum age to send your kid?

California has free pre-k which my daughter will be eligible for this fall.

  

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