1. "“Karen” videos have replaced Black killing videos" In response to Reply # 0
And I could do without either of them. There’s way too much centering of white inflicted trauma for my taste. And it’s cool that collectively we can be about the jokey jokes, but I’d really like to just not have white people in my face for a day or two or thee or thirty.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
not really but I love to cook. I’m sure I would hate it if I had to cook for 30 to 40 people every night in a fast paced environment but I love that idea of it.
I’ve been watching chef table on Netflix and I cant stop watching it.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Wed Jul-28-21 09:01 AM
3. "I hate when people use tears as a weapon" In response to Reply # 0
that shit should result in a “guilty as charged” anytime it happens.
I know people can get emotional but if you are dead wrong save the fucking tears.
Stop crying and use your fucking words.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
4. "When I was in undergrad my advisor told me two important things" In response to Reply # 0
1. If engineering doesn't work out for me consider law school because I'd make a great lawyer
2. Cut my hair
I interviewed with a company when I was in my 20s and I got bolted down, great interview, no call back. Cut my hair, interviewed with another company hired on the spot. The upside is that the job that I didn't hear back from was developing non-lethal weapons for the government, heat rays, bean bags ... etc. I'm so grateful I didn't get that job. My views have evolved very much on what kind of work I'll do.
As it stands now I have a job that I'll start in 3-4 weeks. And I remember when I started interviewing my dad telling me to cut my hair and/or my beard and I just said no. I'm not doing that again. At this point I have 10 years in my field, a proven track record, and accreditation from an external organization. And it's a small thing but it's a big thing. Just how much of ourselves as Black people we get to be just to have a job.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
6. "How did you work it out to get 3-4 weeks between?" In response to Reply # 4
I am pretty sure I could make that work financially (thankfully), but how did you work it with the two jobs? Did you do two weeks notices at the old one? How did you set your start date a the new one?
♥ Inescapably Me ♥
"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)
8. "I'm still at my old job and haven't put in my two weeks officially" In response to Reply # 6
But I'm ramping down.
So here’s what happened. I was going to take the local job A and start on 8/2 so I NEEDED to put in my two weeks last week. But my boss wasn't in the office. So I set up a zoom with my boss told her that I was considering two offers … and I wanted to talk to her about transitioning … we had a long talk … she mentioned setting up something with HR and her, and that by doing so we could have a talk about anything internal … I said ok. During that time company B came back with WAY more money in writing … originally I had X as a number, they put Y in writing and then they bumped it to Z ... it's DUMB money that I couldn't pass up.
So I talk to my boss last Friday thinking we’re going to have that meeting with HR … this woman opens up the intranet and starts showing me internal jobs that may be a good fit and not only are they lateral-ish jobs … but HR isn’t there … but she’s basically telling me how to apply
I thanked her for her time, told her to set up the call with HR (which she still hasn’t done) but I’m going to at that point put in my two weeks … since my B company start date isn’t until 8/24. It was going to be the 16th but since we have family travel that week I offered to either start a week earlier but preferably later. They accepted.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
so your boss tried to stall and keep you in the company?
You are a good dude because as soon as I saw that offer with dumb money I would’ve dipped the fuck out.
vacation starts today!!!
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
12. "I'm open to hearing what my current company has to offer" In response to Reply # 11 Wed Jul-28-21 12:32 PM by MEAT
I believe in this company and it was genuinely my dream since high school to work here. But I can't work for my boss anymore.
In her eyes she still always saw me as just an engineer on staff … which is unfortunate … because I was always “I stepped down out of management to be just an engineer for a little while, but I have x many years as an engineer and a black belt, and this is a career pause until my kid gets a little older”
In my eyes, that’s like bringing someone out of retirement … you know that their skillset is something more than what you need for the role, and you know you only have them for a limited amount of time … use them and let them go.
So even within the jobs that she was asking me about if I looked at, they were all wild lateral and I'm far overqualified to do.
And so I think we're really far off on what a role for me looks like at this company, and I think we're really far off on what compensation looks like. And because her opinion of me defines internal perception in our department, HR included, I don't see a viable path to staying.
My two offers are/were to stand up a Continuous Improvement Department for a major CRO or be a Sr. Engineer on staff for a big name company. With my current company they're not even offering, but asking me to consider applying for an analyst role. And not based on what I want to do for career at this moment (which is work 40 and be there for my small kids), but much more that they feel that this is my skillset/ceiling. We're really really far off.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
13. "See - I don't want to deal with that level of manipulation so this situa..." In response to Reply # 8
with my boss being on vacation next week might actually be a blessing. I can send the resignation to him with his boss and HR copied. No room for negotiation. Because at that point, I want out.
♥ Inescapably Me ♥
"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)
15. "Why are you leaving?" In response to Reply # 13
I'm leaving because my boss unfairly put 30 day paperwork on me. Her paperwork caused me to clean up my resume and apply externally.
Because if you give someone paperwork that says in 30 days they could be terminated (which I later found out she didn't even have the authority) then I saw that as I have 30 days to secure my future paychecks and that could either be internal or external.
I wasn't even considering leaving an option until that point. But as I went through the 30 days and dealt with that, I knew I couldn't stay to work for her.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
27. "I would only stay if I had no other choice. But I have them. In fact," In response to Reply # 18
I got a call today to set up an interview with a third company. No reason for me to stay.
I saw something on reddit this week to the affect of 'you date someone for who they are now - not who they could become. Same thing with jobs. Consider if this situation stayed exactly the same and how you would feel about it. If that is negative then move on.'
If my job stayed the same for the next two years - which is probably will - I would still be miserable.
♥ Inescapably Me ♥
"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)
5. "Handling Multiple Job Offers" In response to Reply # 0 Wed Jul-28-21 11:22 AM by SuiteLady
I got one this morning, the other one should arrive by EOB Friday. Offer A, I would take only if I DON'T get Offer B. I am trying to figure out the appropriate way to stall Offer A until I hear definitively from B. The chances of getting offer be B do look good by the way. Several of my references have told me that B has been in contact.
And then, if things go the way I want them to, what is the most gracious way to turn down Offer A??
Finally, my direct boss is going on vacation next week. I feel so bad about submitting my resignation while he is on vacation, but for my own sake, I don't want to wait another week to do it. That would mean I have to work another 3 weeks on the very job I am trying to leave and I might not be able to get a break in between the leaving there and starting the other. I am leaning closer and closer to submitting while he is gone, although I hate it.
Hashtag FirstWorldProblems, right?
♥ Inescapably Me ♥
"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Wed Jul-28-21 11:52 AM
7. "When I get a job offer I tell them I need a few days to make a decision " In response to Reply # 5
and fuck your bosses feelings.
no matter how nice a boss is its just a job.
Your needs should come before his feelings.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
9. "I receieved an offer on a Thursday/Friday from company A" In response to Reply # 5 Wed Jul-28-21 12:14 PM by MEAT
They knew I already had an offer from company B ... but they didn't know that it wasn't formal formal until it was in paper.
They gave me until Tuesday to get back to them. I asked until that Friday. Then I accepted.
I can always back out of a job acceptance, that shit isn't slavery. Jobs can withdraw offers, I can withdraw acceptance. I've done it multiple times honestly.
But I wasn't planning on doing so with this job. I had actually planned on going to company A, talked it out, worked out the math, I was okay-ish with my choice. But the money that company B came back with I had to withdraw. I never ever ever preemptively burn a bridge with job offers. I will draw that shit out until the day I'm to start because that's what's best for me.
So I called the guy that offered and explained to him the full story. He had known what was up from the start, but I think it really hit home when I told him the dollar. And he said hey "we're hired guns, I get it, let's keep networking."
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
21. "2 weeks notice is courtesy, but not required. " In response to Reply # 5
If those offers come, be out lol. start the new gig or chill with some time off.
your current bosses will be fine.
if B comes through, A will understand that you got a better, more interesting offer that more aligns with your career goals. just be straight with them.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Thu Jul-29-21 03:06 PM
43. "unless you want to work for them again I would never give 2 weeks" In response to Reply # 25
they wont give me 2 weeks to get fired.
an old coworker at my last job tried to guilt me with the “you really should give them 2 weeks notice”
me: “FOH white nigga.. didn’t they fire you?”
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
47. "UPDATE: Offer B came yesterday evening and it is 8% higher" In response to Reply # 43
plus, it is the one I really wanted so I am taking it. YAY!!!
Still on the fence out this 'quitting effective immediately" thing. I REALLY want to take some time off! My mom needs to get a stent put in soon, so I want to be there for her and to just spend time with her. I want to see my family in Louisiana and I want to take a quick 1=2 night personal trip.
But something about just dipping makes me nervous. I am going to think on it for another business day or two.
♥ Inescapably Me ♥
"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)
28. "Thanks! This was my response to offer A this evening:" In response to Reply # 21
"This is great news! I am so excited that you have offered me the opportunity to work with your organization and I believe that I can make a valuable contribution in this role. I do have another organization that has been interviewing me, and I believe an offer may be pending withing the next few days. Though I am strongly inclined toward your position, I would be most comfortable if I could make a comparative choice. Is there any chance that you could give me until Monday to finalize my acceptance?"
We will see what happens! As I said a few lines up, I got a call about yet another organization that want to interview me so... I can breather easy know I will not end up at a loss.
I really do want to just quit my current job. They are going to put me through the ringer during those last two weeks and I am not up for it.
♥ Inescapably Me ♥
"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)
16. "I cannot STAND dealing with other people," In response to Reply # 0
Honestly, my life is becoming more and more transactional because I just want shit to be clear. Who's in charge, who gets the final say, I just cannot stand anymore negotiation, arguing, going back and forth.
Every time I'm in one of those situations I can FEEL my last nerve going out. I'll ever defer to a mf 9/10 just so that I can feel fine to assert myself the last time out of ten and even THEN I sometimes get blow back.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Thu Jul-29-21 09:58 AM
34. "lmao.. we have a new hire with a phatty" In response to Reply # 19
I was thrown off the first time that hip poked around the corner.
I try not to look..
I really do
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
24. "nice but like call me back LOL" In response to Reply # 20
"But rest assured, in my luxurious house built on the backs of people darker than me, I am sipping fine scotch and scoffing at how stupid you are." - bshelly
50. "Jyeah 3" In response to Reply # 20 Fri Jul-30-21 11:43 AM by Binlahab
You ever see a movie where someone is betrayed and is killed by someone they let close
Like it's a horror flick & the couple is almost thru the whole movie until it's revealed the boyfriend has been the killer& the girlfriend is killed quietly and in shock like damn you? *Stab stab stab*
I never understood that like why don't you fight and try to live?
23. "My wife is officially a boss. Well, middle management. " In response to Reply # 0
Not a bad gig overall.
But now that she's no longer a worker bee, I have to find a way to step it up on my end. Not quite sure how, but no time like the present to begin that journey.
26. "As I'm getting older, I'm feeling less interested in being close to..." In response to Reply # 0 Wed Jul-28-21 05:05 PM by Creole
the city. I wanna get in and out to dine, chill, and parlay but I don't want no parts of the dumb stuff that happens especially in the city that I call home.
So, we just bought a new crib two counties away. Don't believe 'em when they say MD is a Democratic state. Not with all the "FUCK BIDEN" and "TRUMP 2024" flags and signs I'm seeing.
FUGGIT THOUGH! Traded in my Bimmer for a Ram. At least, they'll think I'm one of them until they pull up and hear the Public Enemy blasting.
Confession: Mad scary but it's gonna work out. TRUE STORY!
Confession II: I think I like driving that Ram way more than I ever did the Bimmer.
36. "Might even throw on a MAGA hat to really trip em up!" In response to Reply # 31
Seriously though, it's kinda sad that we can't really live around us and we can't really live around them. Finding peace in the middle is the daily struggle.
35. "Luckily, we're in a new community and not really in the wilds of W. MD....." In response to Reply # 32
>RE: Driving through western Maryland felt as sketchy as driving through >Louisiana. I know scenic racism when I see it.
Huh man! It reminds me so much of the Louisiana cities and towns surrounding Lake Charles and Lafayette.
Now, I went to a place to buy a bed cover for my truck. The good old boys in there were cool and respectful. The one thing I did learn growing in Louisiana is that we can all get along if no physical boundaries are crossed. Just made sure our handgun licenses were updated. And about to submit the conceal carry applications to legally carry in MD.
I ain't trippin'... Just don't wanna have to use any of the tools.
38. "RE: Luckily, we're in a new community and not really in the wilds of W. ..." In response to Reply # 35
>Now, I went to a place to buy a bed cover for my truck. The >good old boys in there were cool and respectful. The one thing >I did learn growing in Louisiana is that we can all get along >if no physical boundaries are crossed. Just made sure our >handgun licenses were updated. And about to submit the conceal >carry applications to legally carry in MD. > >I ain't trippin'... Just don't wanna have to use any of the >tools. >
What I've seen lately is that it's the women that are trippin. Out with their red ass faces on some "you don't belong here" steez. I've never had a problem with rednecks, I tend to roll solo, in my lifetime the racism has been more keep your peace and we'll keep our peace, and everyone may have a piece so chill.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Thu Jul-29-21 09:51 AM
33. "when I drive in rural areas in NC.." In response to Reply # 26
I keep expecting to see rednecks and racist but its 25” rims and old Black people in pick up trucks in a lot of these small towns.
Rural Maryland reminds me of rural PA.
Good luck and stay safe.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
37. "I see all types out there. Buppies, Yuppies, rednecks, Clayton Bigsbys, ..." In response to Reply # 33 Thu Jul-29-21 10:50 AM by Creole
All of em got pickups.
>I keep expecting to see rednecks and racist but its 25” >rims and old Black people in pick up trucks in a lot of these >small towns. I've found out that a tn of people have relocated to my exurb from DC, NJ, and NY since COVID happened and they have the opportunity to work remotely now. So, gentrification of their hood is happening.
>Rural Maryland reminds me of rural PA. The rural areas, in NJ, especially the one that surrounds the Air Force Base I was stationed at in the early '90s is very similar.
48. "Funny I feel the opposite." In response to Reply # 26
We always went "home" to city (Chicago in my instance) but I grew up in the burbs of Cali. As a consequence, "The City" in general and "Chicago" In particular feels WAY more like home, than the burbs do.
I wanna live in the city, play in the city, work in the city. I can curate my circle enough to avoid the BS, if need be.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Jul-30-21 10:59 AM
49. "Grew up in the burbs and always felt like I was too far" In response to Reply # 48
from the action even though it was a 20 minute ride into the city.
But I feel the opposite now that I have kids so a city like Charlotte is perfect. I’m inside “city limits” but its the burbs. We are a 10 minute drive from downtown but its not like a northern city where most people live in the center city area.
This morning there were 7 deer in our backyard.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
40. "getting into Cyber Security is rough." In response to Reply # 0
I've applied to over 30 jobs internally. gotten 2 interviews. no offers.
the first interview well, but seems like that dept. decided not to hire anyone. 2nd interview went even better. then I see that I didn't get that job either.
in the meantime, had a offer to go back to my first role with the company. decided that wouldn't be a good idea.
all that to say, I might have a chance coming up. a role looks to be openin up on the cyber team. even though the role is project management (not what I really want to do), I'll just be happy to get on the team.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Thu Jul-29-21 12:45 PM
41. "That Project Manager Role might be the move" In response to Reply # 40
just to get on the team and see how they get down.
might make it easier to see what role you want to pursue long term.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
52. "an in is an in. if you get on as a PM you can see where the gaps are. " In response to Reply # 42
study up. get your certs. or flex on calls.
and then when a role is open, you know the principals, you know the company, you know the culture, you know the project... if they don't have a superstar external candidate, shit is yours for the taking.
========================================= I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and not having much to show for it. (c) mad
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Jul-30-21 03:10 PM
51. "went to reggae night yesterday to get my curry and jerk chicken" In response to Reply # 0
this woman walked in with the most ridiculous natural body I have ever seen in these Charlotttean Streets. The yams were sweeeeet.
She shot me a look cause I’m that nigga with the light eyes…
My mind immediately did like Pops in Friday when Deebo stepped to.
“NO! What I tell you about mingling around fine ladies.. get yo ass in this car”
and I did
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Mon Aug-02-21 12:51 PM
56. "Breh, my wife was sleep when I left" In response to Reply # 55
and wide the fuck awake when I came home.
pretty sure her woman’s intuition woke her up.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
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