Zzz

@geahuwine

Complain about work, folks are all ears. But nobody wants to hear your complaints about what goes on in your house. So I often got things I want to get off my chest the same way I do when I have a bad boss. Nothing big. Just so I’m not stewing in bullshit.

Shit makes me miss my 20s and regular happy hours.

Things are what they are though.

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“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

>Complain about work, folks are all ears. But nobody wants to
>hear your complaints about what goes on in your house. So I
>often got things I want to get off my chest the same way I do
>when I have a bad boss. Nothing big. Just so I’m not stewing
>in bullshit.
>
at this point though, the only folks that "get it" are friends who are parents. with my non parent friends, I just don't even touch those topics unless they ask and the ones who are asking are the ones who are at the point where they're looking at the person they're with and thinking "well damn, we might have to make a baby, she is it"

>Shit makes me miss my 20s and regular happy hours.
>

I feel the same but I find that I don't miss the activities themselves but the perspective and ignorance I had. Like, in my 20s and early 30s I ignored my health and I had no balance. I would work 10, 12 and 15 hour days or even full on overnighters and then I would binge drink...consistently.

I got my health in order and the meds I'm on make drinking alcohol a miserable experience bordering on downright horrible. I get dizzy, sleepy, anxious and my BP spikes so hard I feel my pulse in my calves.

I miss the freedom to fuck off with my time. I also realize now that I'm working with finite amounts of mental sharpness in a day and finite amounts of motivation. So, at the end of everyday I'm thinking about all the projects I want to work on but then I have to go play daddy for the last part of the day which for some reason burns off my finite resources at 2x or 4x the normal rate (if I have 2 hours of motivation left, playing daddy for 1 hour will leave me 15 minutes of ability to focus and get shit done)

>Things are what they are though.


It's a double edge sword. I can literally feel the the incremental increases in freedom a second at a time as my boys get older a day at a time. But, the time we have together is time I will never get back. I want to be able to do other stuff, but I know once they are really really independent, I'm going to yearn for this time even though its mentally taxing. It's going to be a bittersweet reality once they are grown and out in the world.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

3 and a 5 year old waiting for me when I get home from work. Wife is WFH while watching 2 kids. I have to play tag, hide and seek, cook and get them to bed..

and then I have to give my wife some attention and time time to vent because she has been home all day talking to kids at school and toddlers at home.

Which leaves me with about an hour of me time while also thinking about what’s on deck for tomorrow.

I don’t want to hold myself to a schedule I can’t keep right now. I’m still trying to figure out wtf I want to do for my side gig/hustle that won’t take a shit load of time to generate some income. I’m all over the place right now.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Just, wow. I'm not alone. Every single thing you said down to the side hustle I can relate to.

***************************************

<---------------Naima and Nia Simone

Also, I have been trying to prepare a good "go bag" for years now, but things like batteries, over the counter meds, and water need to be rotated out every so often because they get old. It might be good for me to create a "go bag" reminder to update the "perishables" every so often. And my clothes! No use have clothes in a go bag that I have either outgrown or lost too much weight to fit.

Been thinking about this since season 6 of The Walking Dead....

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

Definitely need to add more items too. Flashlight, toothbrush, cleaning items...

im sure i wouldnt use it for more than a couple of weeks but i just like the idea of it lol

$99 is pretty steep but idk. might do it when its back in stock.

for people that dont know, its a game where you buy a physical mario (or luigi) RC car with an AR camera. you set up a track in real life and race on it using the car and viewing through the switch/tv.

something i would definitely had wanted as a kid

I just can NOT take off this tin foil hat for the life of me. The Mrs. wanted a roomba, but Behold-A-Pale-Horse'd the SHXT outta that.

Pull the trigger so I can live thru you.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

privacy concerns? i can see that. from what i understand the game doesnt even save the track from one session to the next. i kind of wish it did save them and gave you the option to play without the RC kart.

ive always rolled my eyes at roombas but um im actually thinking about one too.

definitely not interested in those voice assistant speakers though.

ill let ya know if i end up getting my hands on one of them. im thinking if i do get one i might eventually give it to my nephew and niece when they are older. gotta convince my sister to get them a switch first though lol

made by Eufy...
The ROOMBA we got about 10 years ago, and i've had to refurb it once (new battery, rollers, brushes)...but it's still going. I copped the Eufy just to see if the off brand joints performed decent enough to use on the 2nd floor of the house. I actually like it better because it's SOOOOOooo much more quiet. On hardwood, it seems to do the job just as well as Roomba.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

I realize times are hard and I don't want to make light of people because that can be me one day needing help

BUT

Damn if I haven't had a bunch of hands reaching out to me for money the last 2 months

-Dude I used to work with like 8 years ago. Wasn't really Friends, never talked outside of work, but Brotha reached out to me on FB asking if he can "borrow" $40 dollars till the following week.

$40 dollars isn't going to send me to the poor house, and if it was a serious emergency I can use the good karma.

Next week I get a message from him and I'm thinking it's him sending the money back.

Nope an invite for some stupid FB game

-Some lady I hadn't talked to since 6th grade hits me up on FB asking if I have Cash App

-Another Dude, friend of a friend I had in High School did the same thing

Not only that, I know it's an election year but if I get ONE more e-mail from somebody running for Senate/Alderman/Dog Catcher in a state I don't even live in I'm going to flip!

On a similar note, when did panhandlers start asking for specific amounts of money? People used to just ask for "spare change" now I'll have complete strangers roll up and ask for $7.85

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

Had a kid that was 17 or so ask me for a few dollars. He wasn’t even homeless as far as I could tell, just had no fucks to give. I used to ask people I knew for a quarter when I was a kid growing up but these were adults, older cousins and shit that we fucked with on the regular.

Every stop light has 2 or 4 people working each street.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I know there has ALWAYS been panhandlers, but on my way to and from work, once I reach the "downtown" area they are at just about every other street light.

Then on the way home, I have to contend with the squeegee kids. And with them, you can't be nice. Every time i've given to one, the others come over asking. It's fucking weird!

And THEN, there are just random kids outside of Royal Farms, not homeless i'm guessing, asking for money.

It's a reflection on where this country/world is heading.

***************************************

<---------------Naima and Nia Simone

Said grandma is here to help. My parents stopped by Wednesday for the other kids birthday. Drop off gifts and sing happy birthday. I was TIRED. I've been running on fumes since the baby baby came, and to be fair it's only been one week. But it's been a hard week.

Just getting settled trying to get into a rhythm. But also I've been giving my daughter a LOT of attention. Trying to make sure she still feels loved and acknowledged and so far no regression.

The one thing though, grandma isn't helping. She's not making things worse, but she's not helping in a way that is impactful. She cooks meals, but for herself, which ends up using up pots and pans for us later because she doesn't clean up after herself immediately. She takes my daughter, but not consistently, just kind of on her own schedule. She's not really helping with the baby much or my wife. She's just here.

And I think my wife is starting to see it. So this morning I got up, made my kid breakfast, made my wife breakfast, sat with my kid, ate with her, played with her ... then took the baby off my wife's hands and we all played together. Grandma made breakfast for herself, and washed her own hair. I asked her if she can hang out with the toddler for a little bit because she wanted to leave her in bed with my wife ... but my wife isn't getting rest because she moves so much so she actually doesn't need to be in the bed, which is why the past few days I've been taking her out of the house but I'm going to run to take the baby to the hospital for a follow up today so I'm kind of slammed.

But back to that
-Grandma can you take her for a bit I need to shower
-I'm making chicken
-Oh, can she just sit on the couch downstairs while you do that, I need to shower.
-It'll be done in 40 minutes
-Are you doing something with it that you need to sit over it for that time?
-No, it's in the oven, but then I got a work call
-Right now?
-No it's at 3
-That's like 2 hours from now, and she'll be napping then, I just need you to take her so I can shower please


... like why are you even in my house right now?
At the end of the day I'm not going to get this time back to hang out with my kids, not like this ... so I'm taking advantage of it. But help means helping ... and when I'm running on fumes to the point that my joints start to hurt from lack of sleep, and I ask for 30 minutes to shower and you can't even do that because ... why? ... then it's time for you to go.

And me aside, my daughter needs her grandmother. We've been without family for this entire pregnancy and quarantine. At some point she's going to go back home, and whether she moves down or not (she's trying to move down) ... she's not going to be coming over regularly until all of this is settled. She thinks she is. But it's not happening. She'll get treated the same way my parents do at the moment ... we can occasionally hang out, but it'll be outside and with masks and only rarely.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

When she said she was cooking chicken.. and it was in the oven.

I woulda flipped.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Taking the baby baby to the hospital
Grandma cleaned the kitchen just now. But it was all her own mess that I couldn’t make lunch with before because it was in the way
I’m ready for her to leave. She’s missing layups.
This weekend my sister gave me a mini fridge I had offered to buy one for grandma before she came down to get some relief
She declined
So Sunday I cleaned up the fridge made room in the new mini one. She started to fill it up this morning. These are the same problems we had when she would take care of the kid in dc
She takes over spaces.

Appreciate the listen because only like so many people I can say something to at the moment.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

and worst times. That second baby really hits differently.

First one was all new and the second one came home and I was like “what the hell were we thinking?” cause that lack of sleep is real af.

She sounds a bit selfish and that’s the last thing you need in the house right now. That’s more work for you 2.

Good luck and try not to blow up on the MIL. Let the wife do it.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

...it'd be nice for our moms to come through...but damn...we both know it'd be WAAAAAY more work for us overall because they don't really be doing shit but getting in the way and messing up the routine...


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

Now I really have no clue why she's here. Her original pitch to us was that she had two weeks of leave and could work remotely. That she would get here a week or so before the baby came, work remotely here, then when the baby came she would take her leave to help, until I went back to work and my wife recovered.

She got here, and I worked up until the day before the c section, and I've caught wind of her not helping as much before, but I was still working in the office and thought maybe my wife was just spending as much time with our daughter before she couldn't.

The baby came last Wednesday, and apparently she started back to work yesterday. Which I didn't find out until 30 minutes ago. So what it seems is her plan is to helicopter in and out between working if she wants to. And that absolutely does not work. Because the only way we've managed to survive this entire year is by keeping a tight schedule. So for example she told my kid she'd take her for a walk this morning, she didn't, but if I had known she wasn't going to we'd have gone to the skate park as planned. Or how I took the baby baby to the doctor today and came home to my wife falling asleep with the older kid in the bed while grandma walked around on the phone and my wife asking for some rest.

I have no clue why she's here at this point. But I asked my wife.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

***************************************

<---------------Naima and Nia Simone

and they should get in line right now.

And they KNOW why, if they've been watching.

Yes, I'm mad. Let's move on.

Jays | Cavs | Eagles | Sabres | Tarheels

PSN: Dr_Claw_77 | XBL: Dr Claw 077 | FB: drclaw077 | T: @drclaw77 | http://thepeoplesvault.wordpress.com

If you an adult, I'ma just call you by your first name. I don't do that Mr./Ms./Miss/Mrs./etc. shit anyway...never have..never will.




"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

"I'm not gonna call you what you prefer, I'm gonna call you what I want"
fuck you

Folks get asked all the time if they have a name preference, how is this different? How is that difficult? Why does that bother you?

gender identities or whatnot....
How about we all just call each other by first names and dead all the other bullshit Mr. Mrs. Miss. Ms. etc...

What's more comfortable than addressing someone by their first name???

In what situation would I ever directly address someone as She/They/His/Hers etc.. ??

This is completely different than a name preference IMO....
You introduce yourself to me by the name you want me to address you as and everything is understood.

>"I'm not gonna call you what you prefer, I'm gonna call you
>what I want"
>fuck you
>
>Folks get asked all the time if they have a name preference,
>how is this different? How is that difficult? Why does that
>bother you?


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

you're like nah? Or you just to refuse to say 'him' now instead of 'her'?

>you're like nah? Or you just to refuse to say 'him' now
>instead of 'her'?

If i'm talking about Chris to someone else...i'ma say "Chris was wildin out in the break room last week."
or
"That's Chris' lunch on the 3rd shelf"
or
"I feel bad that Chris had to miss this going away happy hour today"

How hard is any of that???
I've largely been anti-pronoun since around the 4th grade when I peeped that there was an active conspiracy to make the English language waaay more difficult and complex than necessary.... If there's a word, i'ma just use the damn word...fck I look like using a noun substitute when I can just use the damn noun???


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

>fck I look like using a noun substitute when I can just
>use the damn noun???

The obvious levity of the last portion that you quoted aside....


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

while I get what you are saying you already know why people will view it as being selfish.

I think the whole Cis-hetero- shit is dumb too but whatever. Put all the labels down that you need to feel whole. I’ll do my best but if I mess up or slip up don’t act like I called you the nword and fword.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

where someone introduced themselves on some "Hi, my name is Linda...but you can just refer to me as She".
But I get what you're saying.



"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

"she sent me an email that said ..."
"He dropped off the machine before ..."
"Christina says her connection to the VPN isn't working..."

Lots of scenarios.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

Chris(not real name of course) been working here for YEARS as a male.
5 years ago Chris began dressing in female clothes eventually transitioning to female.
Chris introduces herself as Chris. Presents as female, uses the female bathrooms (whole other labor issue that's being resolved there...) To anyone that has started working here in the past year or didn't know Chris 5 years ago (or during the transition years), Chris is the woman that works in that suite right there.

Now there's peer pressure to incorporate pronouns into email signatures...
Chris is cool on that because a)gossip is a huge thing and pressure point for someone that recently transitioned and wants to leave their former self in the past. b)it's serving as flag and means of identifying folks and setting them up for bullying and hostile work environments....

Right now...i'm experiencing it from a management & employee/HR vantage point where I'm not seeing good things as a result of it....so it's definitely coloring my opinion to a degree. Aside from that, it seems like a very lazy way for humans to relate to each other.


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

So if someone says "What did Chris do with the hole puncher?" Do you respond "She put it on the file cabinet" or "He put it on the file cabinet."

lol or are you able to avoid pronouns altogether and say "It is on the file cabinet"

just wondering.

I would say "She put it on the file cabinet" by the way.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

lol...
I dunno...it's just not that tricky to me lol....
saying Chris' name over and over might start sounding weird I guess


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

not necessarily want assigned to them....

I was exposed to this many many many years ago in the 90's with a gay coworker that broke down his preferred way of being addressed.
We worked retail....in the south where formalities are just part of southern culture (sir, maam, mr., miss, etc.). He despised being addressed as Mr. or sir.... He was expressively gay, feminine mannerisms in some ways but aggressively masculine in others.... Told me very frankly one day.... I wish people would just call me by my fcking name because THAT'S who I am. I guess that was the equiv. of the whole pronouns movement that's jumping off now..... take the whole gender part out of the formal addressing a person... but now there's a movement to put in there.. ?? I guess?? shit don't make sense to me and would seem to be a step back. And now folks are just putting it in their email signatures as some show of... solidarity??


"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

Degender or identify differently, not a problem.

So I can’t call it. I’m all for a more inclusive world and I don’t feel as if a fully inclusive world is one that I’ll feel at home with, but I don’t feel at home on this one either ... so at least one that decenters the norms developed from a white religious male world view will be more honest.

My whole life I’ve allowed people to give me nicknames, except for “D” I hate that shit. On a visceral level it doesn’t vibe with me
So in college with Lisa decided to start going by Anna and dating women ... cool
When my good friend Angelina “came out” to me about being bi, none of my business.
We have a friend Carey, that used to be Carrie ... and now Carey goes by “they” instead of “she” ... and it’s confusing as hell. And in the house we still refer to Carey as “her” ... but it’s not a big deal to respect Carey’s wishes

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

and not out of ignorance just out of normal convo that sometimes slips and uses her.

and that should be fine but I’m sure some people would view it as being disrespectful

My friend Jimmy now goes by Alisha. I still say he from time to time because I forget but it’s not intentional. I also haven’t seen him since he transitioned so that probably plays a part.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I use “her” when talking to my wife about Carey because it’s familiar.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

you're being silly.

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

indirectly with a real world Pat.
I had no clue whether I was dealing with a male or female so I just always addressed them by their first name, and in discussions would always refer to them that way. It worked, so I just consciously started always doing it when in doubt...and now I just do it naturally. It's more frequently necessary than you'd imagine at my current place of business.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

https://twitter.com/OHYESMARIO/status/1319087777888137216

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zJgOKjq1zfM

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

i'm good at codeswitching when necessary so it doesnt bug me. but i'm not around the folks it'd matter to often enough to where its a constant issue that i have to be conscious of all the time.

<--- Big Baller World Order

as in i relate to how old folks were dismissing groups in the late 90s trying to revive old sounds.

these cats sound corny and forced to me but i cant pinpoint why. makes me wonder if the late 90s woke music really was just as corny.

their music kind of sounds like what you would expect a continuation of kast/lauryn/roots/badu would sound like but i cant really vibe with it.

i dont think its bad but i just cant connect with it.

I blame the social meeds for letting you feel like you know folks that are strangers.

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

(I may be mixing people up and thinking of someone other than champa, but that's the name tht came to mind)

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

been in the 90s all week.

after tuesday its going to be 60 then in the 70s. i feel like i should wait at least another week to get the heater turned on but these nights are gonna be chilly. lows in the 40s.

will i really not need the AC until spring?

I just hope it doesn't get noticed.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)

there are probably only two other okps who will know that name but, damn...

I need to watch the local news more often because I just found out today.

♥ Inescapably Me ♥

"Love is never any better than the lover" Toni Morrison (The Bluest Eye)