She has Stage 4 Kidney Disease, and is in the process of evaluating dialysis options, and getting placed on a transplant list.

My initial reaction to this has not been good, given the closeness of our relationship, and the fact that her and her son are the only blood relatives me and my kids have a close relationship with.

But she's explained the long term outlook from her doctors, a treatment plan, dietary changes and all that, and I've done my googles enough to gain a realistic perspective on her outlook. From what I've seen, the average life expectancy for a woman aged 40 ranges from 9 to 16 years.

To that end I'm not at all happy right now, but it's not like she's going to be gone tomorrow or anything.

That said, is anyone familiar with Kidney Disease, particularly in Stage 4/5, and transplant lists?

Basically, any info or insight that can help her, and in turn set my own fucking mind at ease. I know we all die, but getting what amounts to a rough, expected finite time limit has me rattled.

If nothing else, it's motivation to make the most of her time here, because ten years is a long time, but can absolutely fly by.

i lost my dad to it after about 9 years. he was instantly on dialysis after being diagnosed, so i think it was stage 5. to be honest i didnt really look into the details. i just remember being told he would have been gone if we didnt take him in.

i would say best advice she can get is to listen to her dr. take the diet seriously.

i believe my dad was denied a transplant because they didnt think he was doing his best to follow the diet. not sure how true that is.

he did eventually get one but he was already dealing with a lot of complications by the time he did get it. they need to give you medicine to lower your immune system when you get a transplant which will have its own complications.

i would say its best to do whats possible to avoid needing the transplant for as long as possible. at stage 4 there is still some function so i think there is some hope that she has some good years left before the tough complications. thats why its key to extend it as long as possible by listening to her dr.


keep your head up.

They waited until his kidneys failed before removing them.

He had his good days and bad days due to the medicine but overall he was pretty good once he was on a tight schedule.

When they removed his kidneys that was when it started going downhill for him. He ended up getting c diff during rehab which is common in hospitals and nursing homes.

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I also had an uncle who passed away from it after he got a transplant and his body rejected the new kidney. I think he was tired of doing dialysis

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Lastly, I had a female friend who got a kidney transplant and she is living her best life. I think the younger and healthier you are the higher your chances are for a full recovery once you have a transplant.

Best bet for your sister is to change her diet and quit anything that’s harmful. Drinking, smoking, etc. They want to make sure you are going to be a healthy and strong candidate when a kidney becomes available.

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TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*