legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-03-20 07:08 AM
2. "Somehow my wife got a job offer during a pandemic and rioting" In response to Reply # 0
I have to go back to work next week. Not looking forward to it.
I know the world keeps spinning but... I need to decompress. Take a few days off soon.
last week we were supposed to be in vacation.
Only positive from canceling the vacay is Delta gave us a voucher for our deposit.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
15. "didn't have any real indicators." In response to Reply # 4
not sure what I'd even look for, honestly. she'd ask random questions at times, but all kids do that. we're pretty open and try to give answers without too much bias or back in my dayisms.
last week, she asked would we use 'they' to address a person rather than he or she. I said I'd address the person how they wanted to be addressed. she'll also randomly talk about marriage and the traditional sense of family. so who knows.
with that said, I've tried to mentally prepare for all possibilities with my kids. so I just took it in stride. not really a big deal to me as she's figuring herself out.
she cried a bit after telling us. my wife was like don't cry. I was like let her cry. crying is fine. also didn't want to focus on her crying. the 4 of us hugged and finished dinner.
I don't want to put pressure on her either way. just be you and know that we're here for it. she's been driving me around lately as I'm teaching her to drive. I'll get more details then. we didn't have much discussion on reveal night.
5. "lost my grandma 2 weeks ago. been kinda numb." In response to Reply # 0
she was my favorite person in the world.
i've been her caregiver the last 5-7 years as she entered her 90s. I've looked after her in some capacity for the last 25. but she was mostly independent up until she was around 85.
She pretty much affected everything in my life. what hours i could work, where i lived, traveling limitations, and really just day to day. Obviously as she aged it got harder.
now she's just not here.
i break down at least once a day, but mostly i feel like i'm ok. The 2 months before she passed were hell, but I'm neither as destroyed or relieved as i expected i'd be, and that in itself is kinda confusing to me.
adding it to continued work furlough, pandemic, protests, and shit just coming apart.. I feel like i shouldn't be ok
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Wed Jun-03-20 12:01 PM
6. "Sorry for your loss. " In response to Reply # 5
Amazing she lived til she was in her 90’s.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
didn't even need a cane or anything up to 90. doctors kept telling her she was an anomaly. def made it harder for her to handle once things went south.
11. "Yalls favorite white Sanders shit stirrers are wild silent about Black d..." In response to Reply # 0
SOME have said something or another about the police being bad in general. But we went 700 posts deep about Biden being a creepy sex pest but Black deaths ...
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
20. "I hate how much our grievances have been marginalized" In response to Reply # 0
For every single brand that tweets or makes a post about how they stand with us there's at minimum one black person that responds with a specific grievance about their black experience in that space.
I just saw one of the sports message boards that I was a part of for years say something and it's like nah man, when a member of your message board community said something for years not only was I called a race baiter too many times to count, but eventually had my account banned and posts deleted after like 10 years of posting.
Shit is whack and offensive.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
21. "Also. I'm very tired of comforting the black people in my life" In response to Reply # 0
One of my closets friends hit the group chat this morning about our mutual Kevin (white dude) who I really haven't fucked with in years.
And not because Kevin is a bad person, he's not, not in the ways that makes someone bad. But because he's not equipped to be good in these times.
And so instead of responding in full to "am I trippin or is Kevin trippin" I screenshotted him the text I sent him in February of 2017 which laid out why I can't fuck with Kevin and it's literally what my advice to him would've been today if I hadn't already said it three years ago.
My wife is kind of in the same boat. Hurt that some of her friends don't quite get it, despite their proximity to blackness with their spouses and it's like ... of course they don't.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
BrooklynWHAT Member since Jun 15th 2007 85054 posts
Thu Jun-04-20 11:18 AM
23. "see this makes me feel bad for being annoyed by my white friends" In response to Reply # 21 Thu Jun-04-20 11:21 AM by BrooklynWHAT
for going so hard on this. i think im suffering from black fatigue. like i live this. i've lived it for 29 years.
my white friends have always been a pretty woke/PC crowd since they're an artsy crowd but i realize now they have never really dealt with race before since (for better or worse) they really only deal with college educated professional black people.
or even in my case, having grown up with them, thats the background that i come from. so i think there are a lot of facets of the black experience they could just never fathom because of the people they have been around. and plus its embarrassing to tell your friends about the struggles you face purely because the color of your skin
so i think they are realizing that while they have not ever been racist, they havent considered the breadth of the black experience outside of their bubble of friends.
edit: the only time its really ever came up in any discussion is when we talk about dating now that i think about it
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79545 posts
Thu Jun-04-20 09:56 PM
30. "Bruh... my wife is having the same problem as yours" In response to Reply # 21
Her best friend is a white girl we all went to college with. She’s still our connect when we go to Richmond and she went to HS in Portsmouth, VA so she has been around Black people all her life..
but still. She white.
My wife is upset at the lack of dialogue or outreach and I’m like... “I think it’s better this way”
But one thing I will say is my wife tends to be a little too optimistic when it comes to people. I want her to stop trying to make people what they aren’t. They are who they are and accept it or move on.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
24. "I recently had a medicated dessert" In response to Reply # 0
- I've had gummies, small brownies etc. over the years, but it wasnt until this that I realized how wild that infamous weed mac and cheese incident was because baked goods is different
- people I came into adulthood with are still hype about going to events because "hoes will be there", Im like we're 40 now
25. "** CONFESSION WEDNESDAY **" In response to Reply # 0
i'm struggling at work dealing with white people in the midst of all we are going through i am exhausted its so much harder to deal with when we are all social distancing and i can't physically connect with friends/loved ones
this has ignited a fire in changing my career i should be lending my skills and qualifications to organizations that support and value black lives i can't wait to quit my job and site this as the catalyst for creating change
29. "RE: ** CONFESSION WEDNESDAY **" In response to Reply # 25
what the entire fuck???!!
I am speechless When did I give you those pictures? Melancholy also means sad So I was correct I’m glad I got to say what I’ve been thinking about lately
I have to work on my reactions to things I get knocked really hard when something happens And I need to focus and get back to the task at hand
The number of white friends I've had in my 43 years on earth. Of course...I'm not counting the elementary school years because EVERYBODY was friends for the most part....
But from 6th grade and up?....nada...with the exception of 1.
Worked with me at The Record Exchange through college. He was/is a real one... haven't spoke to him in over 19 years now...mater of fact the last time we spoke was the morning he hit the road after he couch surfed at our crib for the night back in like 2000. He was doing an East Coast Say Goodbye to Friends road trip before he moved out to the west coast. That's incidentally also the only time a white person has ever slept under the same roof as me. (outside of hotels & shit like that of course...but you know what I mean, oh and also the few summers that I was a camp counselor)... Alan P, if you're out there...you were a real one and I trust you're still walking the righteous path!
It's weird because.....I don't think that was a conscious choice...for the most part anyway...I've just never had any level of trust for 99.99998% of white people I've ever met. Been around and came up with plenty of them too. It's not something I'm proud of...not something I would preach and teach....and not something I necessarily want to instill in my kids... but damn...it's heading that way already by default.
The struggle is that they're surrounded by folks that are "Other than Black"....mostly white and latino and a broad sprinkling of black...but not Black... and for the most part...I still don't have any particular level of trust or sense/desire of inclusion in these circles (neighborhood folks, school parents, etc.) so we (me) are going to be a hindrance to them creating any sort of meaning connections & friendships unless I(we) make some changes...
In this local, in this region, in this day and age...it's the conscious choice that both my wife and I have made to stay in this particular environment where the best chance for "diversity" and opportunity and general convenience is to be where we are...because we want them to have it "better" than we had.
"Better".
I have no clue what better is anymore.
Yes; this was a rambling assed post .... thanks for reading.
"Get ready....for your blessing....." "Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"
27. "Flipnile with regards to Corona Lockdown protests" In response to Reply # 0 Thu Jun-04-20 02:34 PM by MEAT
Reality. Our rights are being eroded, while foks cheer" In response to Reply # 18 Wed Apr-15-20 11:02 PM by flipnile
Folks being threatened with fines and arrest if they go outside and gather up with other people. We're literally seeing a modern version of slave codes imposed on the people, all under the auspice of keeping us 'safe' from a virus that we can't avoid anyway.
Constitutional rights gonna be suspended every time a new virus comes out? Every (staged) mass shooting? Every hurricane, earthquake or flood?
>the repub governor of ohio has basically handled everything the same >way as whitmer (and has similarly high approval). but for some reason >theres nobody in pickup trucks protesting him.
These people are out to make sure THEIR RIGHTS are protected and preserved. Otherwise, anytime the .gov wants to lock us down they can just say there is a virus so do what we say.
--
On the other hand, we've got people calling the cops on others for not 'social distancing'
You know where all this is heading. THAT is the reason that people are out there. Of course the .gov-affiliated news isn't gonna push that angle hard when they air the story.
Honestly rather take my chances going out from the virus than to live in a permanent state of subservience and fear.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
34. "my family got hit with covid" In response to Reply # 0
we were going to do a trip to houston this past week. my brother and his fam went in since the saturday before. me and my other brother were going to fly in on wednesday. my sister told us my nephew tested positive on tuesday (hes about 3 MOs) so we cancelled. my other brother drove back and got tested at home. now my sister, my brother and his wife tested positive. moms inconclusive. they all seem to be doing okay. my other nephew and niece tested negative.
i had like a dry cough this past saturday night and yesterday morning. more like irritation in my throat than an actual cough. feel some soreness in my back. no cough or irritation at all today.
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