legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79620 posts
Fri Feb-21-20 03:11 PM
"The 40 year old grandparent"
Not my life but man... I can’t even fathom having a kid at 17 and then seeing them have a kid at 17 or 18.
Happy Friday.
Imma be looking like a granddaddy at my kids HS graduation tho so what do I know?
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
2. "my aunt had my cousin at 15. he had his daughter at 18." In response to Reply # 0 Fri Feb-21-20 03:36 PM by Cold Truth
She did fairly well for herself. He's a complete trainwreck.
I don't attribute that to the ages though. He's just an idiot.
As for me... my daughter will graduate when I'm 48.
We've had a few discussions already about the future, and what the time line for graduating college would like like, so I'm already planting seeds of what relatively firm foundation will more or less look like. I've used examples of good and bad choices we've made.
I can't control her future, but hopefully enough of this sets in that she'll have a degree, a good job, and stability before she has kids.
it’s a blessing to be able to see your children’s, children. The other day I watched my mother with her great grandkid. Just pray that you’re around to see it...
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79620 posts
Fri Feb-21-20 03:56 PM
6. "You are correct... and in my original post I mentioned the regret. " In response to Reply # 4
My kids will only hear stories about how fun and wild my parents were.
I love seeing my kids with my in laws.
But I also know the pain, damage and struggle that comes with having kids before you are a functioning adult.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79620 posts
Fri Feb-21-20 04:55 PM
18. "So am I. I was babysitting my junior and senior year of HS " In response to Reply # 10
Wonder if I would’ve got someone pregnant if I wasn’t spending those nights out look g for some cut up.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
9. "It's a balance. there's good & bad..." In response to Reply # 4
My niece just had a daughter. Technically, it's my girl's niece (her sister's daughter). But with the birth of that baby, there are 5 generations currently alive in her family. That's amazing.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79620 posts
Fri Feb-21-20 03:59 PM
7. "I had a cousin who spent her whole 16 years babysitting her siblings " In response to Reply # 5
because her momma was selfish.
I begged her to get out and live her life once she graduated HS. She was pregnant WHILE she was promising me she wouldn’t have a baby.
Life is a blessing but man.. I damn sure wasn’t ready at 18 or even at 30. I was too selfish and doing my thing.
We waited until we got that out of our system.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
8. "My parents were 41 when I made them grandparents..." In response to Reply # 0 Fri Feb-21-20 04:28 PM by Creole
It was 1992 and I was 20. My 21st bday was still six months away. I was married and in the military. My son turns 28 in two months and my parents are still just grandparents.
My parents had me when they’d just turned 21. My dad was in Nam while my mom was back in Louisiana after a stint in Chicago.
Their grandchildren were present with them a month ago as we all celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary.
All that to say, it’s a ball watching my kids, including nieces and nephews, have their own individual relationships with my mom and dad.
All that waiting and planning ain’t necessarily the best because a lot of life gets missed. You could have saved a ton of money for your kids college fund but never gave them the opportunity to enjoy you playing with them. And IMHO, one is never ready to be a parent. You just do it when your number is called.
Edit: I just remembered that my last living grandparent has had the opportunity to see almost all of her grandchildren have children. Not only that but she's got a relationship with all of them too. In one case, my grandmother has a great-great grandchild.
22. "Yup! Planning is overrated" In response to Reply # 8 Sat Feb-22-20 02:18 AM by Mori
I know so many people who lined every duck to plan their pregnancy, only for them to get some weird disease, have a kid with special needs, get a divorce or just not be able to have children.
I think all this planned parenthood rhetoric is designed to keep people from overpopulating. But it also creates other problems when we overthink how families are created.
Kids need energetic and healthy parents as much as they need financially stable and educated parents.
I wish I had my kid earlier in life. I don't even really need money to raise her. I just need more time, work flexibility and childcare support.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79620 posts
Sat Feb-22-20 09:02 AM
24. "If you know a lot of people with those problems it’s the water" In response to Reply # 22
A lot of my wife’s friends are having kids in their mid to late 30’s and the biggest problem is preeclampsia (sp).
I know I thugged up that spelling.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
11. "Young parents makes sense until you fatcor in modern society" In response to Reply # 0
All these layers of bullshit getting in the way.
Meanwhile it seems far healthier physically for women to have children young, both parents get spend their youthful energy on their kids and they are still relatively young when their kids are "grown."
But this bullshit-ass society gets in the way off all that makes sense. Got 40+ yo folks talking about they ain't ready for kids YET. lol.
14. "Bro, that's why I don't feel guilty getting them stamps and shopping for..." In response to Reply # 11
I used to feel guilty, shopping for or doing for myself, when my kids were young. Now, they're grown and damned near as independent as can be. My baby girl just turned 21 but it a junior in college. So, there's still that to work through.
23. "Exactly! 40 is too damn old!" In response to Reply # 11
I am 42 with a toddler and I am exhausted with headaches, going to the doctor's every other month to make sure there is nothing terminal, stressed that I will be in my kids life long enough to really be there for her.
I feel like I was scammed into waiting to have a baby. As a woman, I tell all my younger friends, have your babies now worry about the relationship later!
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79620 posts
Fri Feb-21-20 04:53 PM
17. "Both my kids in my 40’s. That wasn’t the plan either.. lol" In response to Reply # 13
It took longer than expected to have kids once we started trying
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
21. "glad that worked out for you fam." In response to Reply # 17
have known some folks who had issues when they were ready and I don't envy them one bit.
then I've seen others who would make great parents but never were able to find the partner.. then there's some of those who'd make gawd awful parents so that's good lol.
I had my first at 23.. could have been more established.. might've picked a better partner.. but I had the energy to do it all and now I'm here and they're all almost full grown.. no grandkids yet and honestly I'm not certain if any of them are gona have kids or not but there's time for all that... they wait till they're 40 though and I don't know how much of me there'll be left if any.
19. "I will never forget a post here about a similar thing..." In response to Reply # 0
something like, the poster went to a bar and started chatting up a lady who was...35 or 36 and it turned out she was drinking with her son on his 21st birthday.
I remember that shit at least once every few months.
i also remember and have referenced a few times the story where a poster accidentally punched the shit out of some kid as a involuntary reaction to being pickpocketed.
Printer-friendly copy 
Email this topic to a friend
General Discussion
