or today, i was filling out a paper form and was asking for some clarification. at some point i asked if i needed to click on the check box. click on a printed out check box.
36. "RE: Furiously searching my desk for my glasses..." In response to Reply # 1
>...while they were sitting on my head.
Same thing
<-- Dave Thomas knows what's up... __________________________
Jay: Look here homie, any nigga can get a hit record. This here is about respect. Game: Like Gladys Knight. Jay: Aretha Franklin. Game: Word, I like her too. Jay: Nigga...
5. "My son has a tarantula " In response to Reply # 0
I go to the same pet store once a week to buy crickets for it. Every week I push the door that is clearly labeled pull. I will do the same thing tomorrow.
And yeah when you hit that stage in life where you drop things randomly it's a bit sobering. If I'm holding my keys to open my door, it wouldn't make sense to drop them. Somebody in there messed up.
8. "I bought my condo 4 years ago and there's a light switch ..." In response to Reply # 0
... in the hallway between my living room and my kitchen that I have *never* clicked on the first try. It's one of those seesaw ones and I either hit the side that's already depressed or miss it completely. Doesn't matter if I try with my hand, my elbow, something I'm holding in my hands, my fucking shoulder ... I miss it everytime.
It's probably more annoyance than stupidity primarily, but I feel endlessly stupid that it's been 4 years and I haven't mastered this summabitch.
35. "I've been in my townhouse for a decade" In response to Reply # 8
Still have issues with which switch cuts off which light, especially the lights with multi-level switches.
<-- Dave Thomas knows what's up... __________________________
Jay: Look here homie, any nigga can get a hit record. This here is about respect. Game: Like Gladys Knight. Jay: Aretha Franklin. Game: Word, I like her too. Jay: Nigga...
11. "putting something somewhere so you don't forget it." In response to Reply # 0
only to forget you put it there and then losing it forever.
used the ratchet wrench to put my bike rack on. put the rachet on top of the car after I was done. put the bike on the rack and drove off. finally remembering the rachet was on top of the car after I saw something fall while I was on the highway.
14. "I do that with so much important shit." In response to Reply # 11
>only to forget you put it there and then losing it forever.
I ultimately eventually find it but ... it's frustrating as fuck during the time it's "lost". Cause it's typically the most important/meaningful shit that I do this with. For example last year my dad gave me a military award that my grandfather had received in WWII. We cried, meant the world to me. I put that and some other antique-type stuff he'd recently found and gave me in a bin in my basement, knowing it was safe if things flooded. Then I hid it in the back of my storage.
Like 3 months later I freaked the fuck out cause I couldn't remember where I put the stuff. Spent a day and half searching frantically before it hit me.
>used the ratchet wrench to put my bike rack on. put the rachet >on top of the car after I was done. put the bike on the rack >and drove off. finally remembering the rachet was on top of >the car after I saw something fall while I was on the >highway.
24. "No! I like the current setup... either the Cowboys or the Eagles" In response to Reply # 20 Fri Dec-06-19 02:36 PM by flipnile
Seems blasphemous, but NYC and DC are too close to Philly. Coming to Philly to go to games talking shit. At least when Dallas wins we can tune it out and pretend it didn't happen, lol.
Edit: We have a fair number of from-Philly Cowboys fans up here, but we mainly view them as real-life trolls.
...wife car has the fancy screen and everything is controlled from there ...i cant even turn on the AC and get pissed at it every time ...not to mention the button to start the car stumps me on the regular
21. "Getting annoyed at the multi-factor authorization prompts" In response to Reply # 0
from my phone, which were generated from ME logging in. Happens multiple times a day - I log in and click the button to send the MFA prompt to my phone, then I instantly get annoyed when my phone and Apple watch buzz because in that fraction of a second I've forgotten that I'm prompting myself and I think someone is texting me or an app is notifying me about something.
23. "Networking events. " In response to Reply # 0 Fri Dec-06-19 12:53 PM by double negative
that shit scrambles my brain more than crack sprinkled on cooked eggs.
-the fuck do I do with my hands? -OH GOD THEY ARE LOOKING AT ME...fuck, they want something -why would anyone want to talk to me? -first of all, I fooled them dummys at work into giving me a job so wtf am I doing here and wtf can I even do for anybody? -...are my lips ashy? i got that white shit in the corner of my mouth...i can FEEL IT. -i bet everyone here was featured in a write up -i bet everyone here has advanced degrees -see that window over there? you need to go jump out of it. -aww fuck, he's wearing a suit, LOOK AT THAT TIE DIMPLE MY NIGGA. why you wearing chinos? you should have worn a suit. -you too old to be here man.
34. "blast from the past (still hurts tho)" In response to Reply # 0
mentioned this in The Lesson way back (the post was about musical mysteries, or things in songs you couldn't figure out and wanted help with or somesuch). My contribution to that jam:
you know how the voiceover on Parliament's Chocolate City keeps talking to "CC" throughout his whole long soliloquy?
I pondered for years (literal years...decades even) who CC was, thinking it must be some person in pop culture from the time the song came out that I didn't know because I wasn't there
It NEVER dawned on me that CC was in fact "Chocolate City" until they poasted me to death for asking
Way I figured the narrator was talking ABOUT the Chocolate City, therefore he had to be talking TO everyone/someone else
That was the dumbest I've ever felt in my life (and still is)
42. "Old Prince song w/ the lyric "...took a needle and did the same..."" In response to Reply # 34 Thu Dec-19-19 03:53 PM by flipnile
Lines before were about someone dying. (I forget the song title).
I was a little kid, and hearing about someone killing themselves with a needle seemed gruesome-as-fuck. I mean, someone would have to poke themselves like tens of thousands of times with a little sewing needle. Seemed like a terrible way to commit suicide.
Years later, I realized he was talking about a hypodermic needle filled with heroin.
45. "blast from the past pt 2: Darlin Nikki" In response to Reply # 42 Thu Dec-19-19 04:20 PM by Selah
when I first heard the song I though he was saying she was physically doing the deed with a magazine (as in curling it up like a megaphone and well... you know)
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Fri Dec-20-19 10:12 AM
56. "I asked my sister what masturbating meant when she played the song " In response to Reply # 45
She was like noooo don’t say that word.
I just imagined she was physically using the magazine in some way that wasn’t right.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Thu Dec-19-19 03:30 PM
39. "I never figured out how to transfer a call" In response to Reply # 38
You just gonna have to call them directly.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
41. "Just reminded me: I've NEVER been able to make a 3-way call..." In response to Reply # 38
...on a cell phone. NEVER. Maybe it's a Sprint thing, but it just doesn't work. This is across several different phones (including a flip) over 12 years. At some point, I gave up and never tried again.
49. "my understanding...." In response to Reply # 43
folks were saying that husband in the peleton was basically making his skinny wife get skinnier for him.
the other add is referencing her new life without that husband. apparently she had something to do with him not being around. her and the friends are celebrating.
48. "My '98 VW Passat had a dial where you could turn the headlights on/off e..." In response to Reply # 0
After 7 years of owning the car, I accidentally discovered that in addition to turning the dial, I could also pull it to turn on the fog lights. Never knew the car had fog lights.
55. "My 08 VW Touareg has two buttons on the steering stalk....I JUST " In response to Reply # 54
discovered what the buttons do while driving home from NC on Thanksgiving weekend.... We've owned the thing since 2012.... Those two buttons do nothing more than turn off the backlights on the steering wheel... So I feel stupid for: a) JUST now discovering what they actually did... b) Treating them as a built-in "fidget toy" for the past several years c) Not bothering to actually open the manual and look it up...
But most of all.... WHY THE FCK does VW constantly implement the most non-intuitive-at-first-glance features!!???!
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Fri Dec-20-19 10:16 AM
57. "I rented a car for work" In response to Reply # 0
and charged my phone using the usb lighter plug I use for my car. Used Waze on my phone and struggled to change songs and shit.
My coworker drove on the way back, plugged his phone into the cars use console and all these Apple features show up on the screen. Maps an Spotify and shit. Plus he tells me there are buttons behind the steering wheel that control the radio.
I was mad as shit.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
67. "they're cool but a party trick at best..." In response to Reply # 59
I learned how to solve one in college because everyone else could do it and I felt dumb. The funnest part of them is impressing other people... If you sit with one for about a week you'll get the hang of solving it.
They do kinda help get out of a momentary creative block.
61. "As a bartender, whenever actual chemistry comes up casually" In response to Reply # 0 Fri Dec-20-19 10:54 AM by Nodima
I've always called myself street smart more than booksmart, so while I'm certainly part of the craft wave, whenever people start talking about how many different approaches they took to infusing beets into whiskey because of X Y and Z, I go functionally braindead. Every clever ingredient/infusion thing I've ever done has been way more of a hocus pocus, "take five dashes of this and three sprigs of that, throw it in a bag and let magic happen."
When somebody starts debating the benefits of a centrifuge over a submersion blender for combining flavors, I can feel my brain bleeding.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79586 posts
Fri Dec-20-19 12:03 PM
65. "Wife and I finally figured out we could split a beer " In response to Reply # 0
We were out on a date. We both wanted a beer but we each knew we couldn’t finish a whole beer.. finally I said “let’s just get one and split it”
It’s like we figured out gravity or some shit.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
69. "I have a really dumb car one" In response to Reply # 0
I felt even stupider when the reason I realized was someone making fun of a young girl who didn't realize she could still open her driver side car door with a key to unlock it. A while ago, my fob battery was dying and would take ages to unlock my car, and never once did I think to use the key. I was around back when you HAD to use keys, so I knew it was a thing, but had this assumption that the keyholes were just gone. Just standing there tapping the button a bunch of times because it would eventually work until I replaced the battery, finding out later I was an idiot for months without realizing it lol.
71. "lol this happened to me but briefly" In response to Reply # 69
like my mind in 45 seconds went from: "shit, do i need to call AAA?" "no you idiot, just walk to 7/11 and get a battery, duh" "NO you idiot, use the fucking key!"
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