I have a thought thats been kinda forming in my head and it's

"No one gives a shit about black men...even black men"

Specifically black men who are not leaders of industry, in prison or in church.



I made a post a bit ago on the lack of black men in professional spaces, and this post is more of a development on the idea.

I just learned about The Cru: https://www.thecru.com/
They are a peer to peer coaching service where women are grouped with like minded women of color to accelerate their careers or personal lives.

My wife for her entire professional life has always had a mentor or mentored younger folks who were on the cusp of greatness. Shes involved in lots of groups relating to support and development. In the time we've been together I'm starting to realize that I don't see similar offerings for men - it feels as if the expectation is that you will just hop in the water and sink or swim.

Seeing all of that got me thinking...there does not seem to be a similar career development groups out there for black men.

I've seen plenty of groups for black men if you are ALREADY on top of the world - but what if you have aspirations and you're not at the top yet? Shit, I've even applied to one of these groups and I knew I wasn't going to get in based on my low profile, low follower count and lack of professional awards.

In my ignorance it seems as if you only matter if you're at the top (industry leader, highly succesful) or the bottom (prison, homeless)

Black women have made it a priority to build communities of support and it seems as if there are no equivalents for men which is why I say black men don't even care about black men.

I feel invisible and completely isolated if I'm honest with myself.

I've legit thought about reaching out to folks who are in higher positions/positions of power with the idea of asking for a mentor/mentee relationship - but I've read the idea is that you also have to provide something for them which is where I draw a blank. What could I possible offer that they can't already get?


Anyway...you feeling this? Does this make sense?

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

I see womnen seek out those connections, relationsships and friendships at work and in their personal lives much more than men do. Women seem to crave connections to other people.

Plus, as we've discussed, there are way more black women in the professional ranks than black men. So there are fewer of us, and past a certain age, more of us are content to just go it alone, even if that isn't ideal.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."
"Bury me by my Grand-Grand and when you can come follow me"

personally i usually end up pretty tight w/ the black dudes that work at my spot and look after them while they're here and after theyre gone.

<--- Big Baller World Order

https://theundefeated.com/features/my-brothers-keeper-and-obamas-mission-to-help-young-men-of-color/

I notice that black men do not trust each other in areas of success or finance unless there is some leverage. One hand scratches another. But for the most part, successful clicks happen because everyone come through and you can build on dependable people. Latinos, Italians, Russians have a solid brotherhood of trust.


My ex was a very untrustworthy man, he had no friends and always lost jobs. He used to swear no one would give him a break. But I soon learned that he would do shady shit and people dropped him, both men and women.

Often times, black men in hip-hop, writing and other narratives don't trust people outside of their crew. Women don't have this same trust fear when it comes to money.

I know if I lent my homegirl $1000, 9/10, she will pay me back. I can refer her to other friends if she is a solid person who never did me dirty. Helping people means feeling vulnerable enough to put yourself on the line.

I think it can exist among black men, but trust needs to be established.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

<--- Big Baller World Order

I know a couple of dozen dudes I could call in a financial pinch who would have no problem helping me out if they had it.

I know women who can't be trusted not to f their best friends man.

If you going to generalize, keep it to the people you know.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

It seems to play out like this:

It starts with a decent pool of us that come in entry level. There you have the Black Resource Groups, cliques, etc. At the 5-7 year mark, it starts to dissipate with a handful maybe making it to a first line manager and another group leaving to embark on entrepreneurship. At the 10-15 year mark, it seems to end with 1 or 2 that become Execs and they do not speak to each other (aka the 'go at it alone' theme that someone mentioned earlier). The original pool are maybe 1 level above entry level as developers saying their 'window as passed'.

Rinse and Repeat

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

>It seems to play out like this:
>
>It starts with a decent pool of us that come in entry level.
>There you have the Black Resource Groups, cliques, etc. At the
>5-7 year mark, it starts to dissipate with a handful maybe
>making it to a first line manager and another group leaving to
>embark on entrepreneurship. At the 10-15 year mark, it seems
>to end with 1 or 2 that become Execs and they do not speak to
>each other (aka the 'go at it alone' theme that someone
>mentioned earlier). The original pool are maybe 1 level above
>entry level as developers saying their 'window as passed'.
>
>Rinse and Repeat
>
>
>
>

At least they use to not have. Like guys in the workplace would regularly go out to drinks and exclude women. Maybe you see less and less of that now.

I can help you find a mentor depending on what space and city you are in. Inbox me.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

I never thought about it like that
you may be right....

are the biggest threat to the 200+ year exploitation scheme that is the USA.

<----

Soundcloud.com/aquil84

(HIP HOP)
http://aquil.bandcamp.com

Black men exist at the crossroad of white supremacy and sexism and the rise of Black women.

Its an extremely difficult position to be in and navigate and i have a tremendous amount of compassion for that struggle

therefore, the solutions are very complicated and nuanced. some of the ingredients will likely be: reconfiguring how Black men relate to and interact in the personal and professional relationships with women and each other..that's an individual journey and a collective one.

individually, we are alone in the center of our circle, which means we have to examine our individual selves first. we have to check whether or not our approach to everything external is authentic AND open to adapt, when needed. If we move through life as an immovable object, well...

collectively, and this is mainly stemming from the observations of the lives of my two Black sons, how Black men interact and navigate intimate friendships with other Black men and Black women is foundational to the community support they either help create or try to find later on.

and i'll leave it there.

to summarize,I want y'all to win. y'all deserve to win just as much as we women do.

d

*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

i often feel like all previous attempts to pigeonhole women in supportive/subservient roles have better equipped women socially and professionally for adaptability

i got too many thoughts on this and they aren't coalescing but your perspective on this was helpful, thanks

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

>i often feel like all previous attempts to pigeonhole women
>in supportive/subservient roles have better equipped women
>socially and professionally for adaptability

that's an interesting thought..hadn't considered that...makes alot of sense


>i got too many thoughts on this and they aren't coalescing but
>your perspective on this was helpful, thanks
>

no doubt. the fact that these conversations are happening at all is important.

even among the okp microcosm, alot of the men here (including you!) have shown a good amount of growth & evolution...its been beautiful for me to witness, quite honestly...especially when i think about stuff from 15 years ago (!) on here...

I've had a couple of friends go MRA. Then the other day on this all male group chat someone dropped this:

https://cdn.shortpixel.ai/client/to_webp,q_lossy,ret_img,w_680/https://www.worthview.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/mens-day-statistics.jpg

It was a cat I don't know well so I didn't say anything but some other dudes schooled him. It was refreshing to see a bunch of 30-40 year old black men reject the notion that somehow men (including white men) are the victims in this society.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

gamergate, the donald, q-anon, jordan peterson, incel, 4-chan

etc.

those fools are fools.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>gamergate

I always felt like these divisions always existed but I Cuban B'd them. now... dogg... it's like the Gadsden Flag moment of gaming

Take immediate action on all of the ideas that you came up with at the end.

America has imported more warlord theocracy from Afghanistan than it has exported democracy.

Has the ability to bond and create social and survival networks better than the
Male gender.

It’s not just a black thing. It’s an organism thing.

Take lions for instance, the lionesses all work together to hunt and feed the cubs, as well as surviving together when another lion takes over the pride.

Male lions are kicked out of the pride by the father lion once they get a certain age. Usually lions leave as brothers and they go off to take over other prides so they can have their own , but they don’t connect with other male lions. If one of the brothers get killed, then that male will be by himself until he finds a pride to take over, or he gets killed or die of starvation ( because male lions are poor hunters).

Now look at the black male or a male in general, and he usually grows up with his brothers or childhood male friends, but does not make or develop close friends after college or high school. Either he goes off and gets married to build his own family, or he is alone for the remainder of his life, looking to survive, and usually breaks down and dies off before the age of 65 or earlier.

Now the scenario changes if he comes from a wealthy family or wealthy name, which is rare in the black family, because we don’t have family empires like the kennedys, Rockefellers, etc . And it’s very rare for sons to inherit money or wealth to be set for life.

Women survive or the female gender survives because of power in numbers , and they have the innate ability’ to form that foundation.

It’s another reason why women are usually caretakers of men, no matter if it’s a husband, brother, son. Etc.

Women are designed not to foot it alone, and they understand this easily. Men are designed or should I say we are predisposed to footing it alone, or it is embedded in our psyche. Also we are less of an asset compared to women, we are basically seen as either muscle to use or a threat. So we are highly disposable, and once we get old and lose testosterone we are definitely seen as useless, which is why a man is always projecting strength.

I don't think this is exclusive to black men. White men are committing suicide at alarming rates. I think in general men are just not sure what their role is in society.

The human race need men beyond sperm, strength and protection. I think good quality men work together to offer wisdom, strategy, advice and in most traditional societies older men can be healers.

Now post-slave America has really eaten away at the brotherhood of black men in so many ways. We glorify them as atheletes, sperm donors and youthful bucks. But somewhere around middle age, 40-60, popular culture practically finds black men
as a group invisible.

This definitely affects a man's self esteem identity and role. For men with families, middle age can be more purposeful. For single men over 40 with careers, confidence and security can feel good. But if you are black man over 40 with no career, family, partner, and no other deeper meaning, where does he go for community? Church, volunteer orgs, politics? Most men just let obsess over sports teams.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

And to look down on other men that do.

There's alot of men who feel like "I figured out my own way... you figure yours out and THEN we can talk"

To that end, many of the mentorship relationships I've seen between men have been mentor-driven... i.e. the mentor sees someone else in their social or professional life that reminds them of their own "struggle" and they seek to help the person out... almost as a proxy for the help they may not have received of their own.

I think women have more deliberate mentorship organizations because they're less stigmatized when asking for help. I'm sure some men are also hesitant to mentor women so the deliberate approach is necessary (I'm not sure how it is between women).

To find a mentor, then, you basically have to establish a relationship with someone that's living the life that you want to emulate. That probably means joining whatever organizations they're in, professional or social, and getting to know them in that setting.

You're right that you want to show value to them because just asking them to be your mentor will sound like begging. How you show value will depend on the person though and is best discovered organically.

Maybe they're a big supporter of a certain charity and need help on a charity drive. Or they're politically involved and need someone to help out on certain things. HEll, they may just want to be able to shoot the shit with another big college football fan.

Whatever it is, you want to establish a decent rapport with the mentor and then start to seek advice. Once you've got some direction, your responsbility is to then run with it,s o that by the next time ya'll talk, you can say "I've done this this and that... learned alot of lesson but now I've got more questions". Mentors want to see you prosper but they also want to see you putting in the work. You still have to earn your success but the mentor just helps you earn it more efficiently.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

the entire country runs on the targeted oppression of working poor BM
which is like 80% of us.
Check out
Tommy Curry & his book The Man-Not
T Hasan Johnson
Irami Osei-Frimprong
Jim Sidanious's book Subordinate Male Hypothesis

there are people who care, just not the bitchasses in the corporate media