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Subject: "Memorializing My Mother, Margarita Saballos" Previous topic | Next topic
walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16125 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 06:32 AM

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"Memorializing My Mother, Margarita Saballos"


  

          

One of the most important people in my life is gone. I will never forget her, I will always love her.

She grew up in Nicaragua during the 50's & 60's, very humble upbringing. She was the oldest of 4, the only girl. A daddy's girl. She used to tell me that her dad while quiet and reserved, would puff up his chest to protect her. She was married in her teens, married my father who was basically her neighbor, she told me that he would make his horse to all the way up to the house door to call for her, give her rides on his motorcycle, he was the only man she truly loved. She had my sister at 19 and my brother at 21. She was always hard working. She had a bunch of small businesses, from a liquor store to a book store, to when I was little selling Nicaraguan products to other Nicas in Camden. Always saving, always moving forward.

My father, had an affair in the 80's, I am a product of that affair. She forgave my father and due to the situation my biological mother was in, she accepted me in her home. From infancy to yesterday August 12th, I felt her love. When her father died of cancer, she shared with me one of his wishes. Take care of that boy, he has no fault in this situation. As a little boy I would spend the day at the book store. I would steal coins to go to the arcade, I convinced her to let me get a rat tail and when I got made fun by kids, she spanked me when I cut it off for wasting her money and for letting them get to me.

We moved to Camden NJ, in Aug of 92. She left my father and fully adopted me. She and my older sister worked hard, they paid for me to go to a private catholic school. She worked in factories, working from 6am to 11pm, working sometimes 3 jobs, cleaning offices, babysitting, doing door to door surveys, making clothes, anything and everything to move forward.

She always provided, always giving me what I asked for in her own way. She always got the last word. I remember as I got into HS, things became more status heavy, I remember being a sophomore and begging her for a pair of Timbs. My mom went out and found the most affordable pair. They were low cut, shiny leather, peanut butter colored. They were timbs and I loved them.

I got my first job at 15 at McDs, my 1st check was just under 100 bucks. She picks me up. hands me an envelope with cash. $77 bucks, what the hell, I asked, she said, well now you'll pay for you deodorant, toothbrush, toothpaste. This is life, if you earn $10, you buy want you need, and save the rest. Just because you have $10 doesn't mean you spend $10.

She never learned English, she would make me do all of her talking, I was forced to talk to people and translate. I thank her for my comfort with strangers and lack of fear at public speaking. She helped my through my first heartbreak at 18, lent me money to buy property, always called me hers, and would always serve me her food when I visited.

She was a proud, honest, smart, pushy, sarcastic, and funny. We would go to the mall and my mom would point out things about people and make me laugh. It wasn't nice, but it was her personality. For better or worse she was so opinionated, she would argue her point and then say, I dont care, it's what I know and i wont change. If you got on her bad side, man it was rough. She was the matriarch of my family, she ran things how she wanted and when she wanted. She was always clear in her goals and how to achieve them, even if it was a smaller version of that goal. She would make fun of someone, holy shit would she let them have it. My dad was her biggest target and when she laughed at something her laugh was big, cutting, and contagious.

My heart is broken, I wont hear her laugh again. I wont see her smile again. That is killing me. I will try my damndest to remember those things though. I wouldn't be who I am without you. I'm glad I shared so much of my life with you. You will be part of my conscience and moral compass forever. I love you mom, thank you for everything.

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
My condolences
Aug 13th 2019
1
Peace fam
Aug 13th 2019
2
A woman with an amazing soul!
Aug 13th 2019
3
Fam, your mother is a Saint
Aug 13th 2019
4
Sorry to hear this - peace to you and your loved ones.
Aug 13th 2019
5
that's beautiful...
Aug 13th 2019
6
My deepest sympathies and wishes for your comfort at this time...
Aug 13th 2019
7
Beautiful Story Man. I can almost see her from how you describe her.
Aug 13th 2019
8
Condolences, man. Your mother sounds like an amazing lady n/m
Aug 13th 2019
9
my condolences to you and your family...
Aug 13th 2019
10
God bless her.
Aug 13th 2019
11
Beautiful tribute
Aug 13th 2019
12
thank you for sharing this. respect.
Aug 13th 2019
13
Heavy
Aug 13th 2019
14
Condolences to you and yours.
Aug 13th 2019
15
That was a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing that with us
Aug 13th 2019
16
thank you for sharing her with us
Aug 13th 2019
17
Amazing read
Aug 13th 2019
18
My condolences
Aug 14th 2019
19
Condolences to you and your family
Aug 14th 2019
20
That was a beautiful tribute to her. Be well, man.
Aug 14th 2019
21
Incredible woman. Peace and blessings to you and your family.
Aug 14th 2019
22
Peace and salute to your mother
Aug 14th 2019
23
condolences.
Aug 14th 2019
24
Thank you everyone for you kind words.
Aug 14th 2019
25
what a loving portrait of your mom you just painted for us with your
Aug 14th 2019
26
Sounds like she was strong woman with a big heart
Aug 15th 2019
27

AFRICAN
Charter member
11871 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 06:38 AM

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1. "My condolences "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Sounds like she lived a full life.
And how she handled your childhood situation speaks to a person with a very big heart .

http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
instagram:@3rdworldview
Blessed be the Lord /who believe any mess they read up on the message board

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79588 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 06:55 AM

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2. "Peace fam"
In response to Reply # 0


          

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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Mori
Charter member
3528 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 07:03 AM

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3. "A woman with an amazing soul!"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Wow! How inspiring and thank you for sharing her story. All mothers are not created equal. So glad you were there for her and happy she wasn't in a lot of pain.

Life is a complex organism.

I just lost a friend to cancer and it is scarier than any other disease because there is no rhyme or reason for how to prevent it, what causes it and when it could happen to you.

Cry when you need to. Go bathe in salt water and spend some time alone.

Rise & Shine
Thrive & Grind
Heart & Mind

  

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auragin_boi
Member since Aug 01st 2003
20939 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 08:16 AM

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4. "Fam, your mother is a Saint"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

This is amazing:

"My father, had an affair in the 80's, I am a product of that affair. She forgave my father and due to the situation my biological mother was in, she accepted me in her home. From infancy to yesterday August 12th, I felt her love. When her father died of cancer, she shared with me one of his wishes. Take care of that boy, he has no fault in this situation. As a little boy I would spend the day at the book store. I would steal coins to go to the arcade, I convinced her to let me get a rat tail and when I got made fun by kids, she spanked me when I cut it off for wasting her money and for letting them get to me.

We moved to Camden NJ, in Aug of 92. She left my father and fully adopted me. She and my older sister worked hard, they paid for me to go to a private catholic school. She worked in factories, working from 6am to 11pm, working sometimes 3 jobs, cleaning offices, babysitting, doing door to door surveys, making clothes, anything and everything to move forward."

I'm so happy you had her in your life and she was the woman she was. My condolences that she's gone but knowing a little more about her gives me joy in knowing who she was for you.

____________

  

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Brew
Member since Nov 23rd 2002
24419 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 08:33 AM

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5. "Sorry to hear this - peace to you and your loved ones."
In response to Reply # 0


          

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

  

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tariqhu
Charter member
17890 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 08:51 AM

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6. "that's beautiful..."
In response to Reply # 0


          

my condolences to you and your fam.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

  

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Creole
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15425 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 09:02 AM

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7. "My deepest sympathies and wishes for your comfort at this time..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I extend them to you and plead for them to manifest in your life as quickly as possible.

Continue to be your greatest self. And know that she will always be there to guide and watch over you.

--- praying for peace, love, and power

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49412 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 09:18 AM

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8. "Beautiful Story Man. I can almost see her from how you describe her. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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Marbles
Member since Oct 19th 2004
22290 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 09:57 AM

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9. "Condolences, man. Your mother sounds like an amazing lady n/m"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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CyrenYoung
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34204 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 11:26 AM

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10. "my condolences to you and your family..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

..take your time.


*skatin' the rings of saturn*


..and miles to go before i sleep...

  

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naame
Charter member
21017 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 11:29 AM

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11. "God bless her. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


America has imported more warlord theocracy from Afghanistan than it has exported democracy.

  

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kevb
Charter member
16580 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 12:49 PM

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12. "Beautiful tribute"
In response to Reply # 0


          

My condolences, fam.

  

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PG
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42568 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 01:21 PM

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13. "thank you for sharing this. respect."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Musa
Member since Mar 08th 2006
15789 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 01:25 PM

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14. "Heavy"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

much respect

Strength and endurance to you and your family.

<----

Soundcloud.com/aquil84

(HIP HOP)
http://aquil.bandcamp.com

  

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WarriorPoet415
Member since Sep 30th 2003
17895 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 02:11 PM

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15. "Condolences to you and yours. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

  

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Mynoriti
Charter member
38818 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 03:25 PM

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16. "That was a beautiful read. Thank you for sharing that with us"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Condolences to you and yours. She sounds like a strong, funny, awesome woman.

  

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akon
Charter member
27010 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 04:12 PM

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17. "thank you for sharing her with us"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

my deepest condolensces

.
http://perspectivesudans.blogspot.com/
i myself would never want to be god,or even like god.Because god got all these human beings on this planet and i most certainly would not want to be responsible for them, or even have the disgrace that i made them.

  

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Lil Rabies
Member since Oct 12th 2005
1586 posts
Tue Aug-13-19 11:07 PM

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18. "Amazing read"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

The good women of our families are irreplaceable treasures that made a place for us in this cold world, all the while knowing we couldn't repay. I love to see them honored.

Taking shots in the dark/that's a bad call
Going straight for your head/ gotta saw it off

  

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obsidianchrysalis
Member since Jan 29th 2003
8749 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 12:11 AM

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19. "My condolences"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Your mother sounds like a remarkable woman. Her memory is worth holding onto.

  

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Pamalama
Charter member
1687 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 08:17 AM

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20. "Condolences to you and your family"
In response to Reply # 0


          

But I’m so happy you were able to receive her acceptance and love.

  

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Hitokiri
Charter member
22106 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 09:07 AM

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21. "That was a beautiful tribute to her. Be well, man."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

--

"You can't beat white people. You can only knock them out."

  

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KiloMcG
Member since Jan 01st 2008
27561 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 10:08 AM

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22. "Incredible woman. Peace and blessings to you and your family. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Thank you for sharing. She was quite remarkable.

  

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Dr Claw
Member since Jun 25th 2003
132214 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 10:24 AM

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23. "Peace and salute to your mother"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

she sounds like she was a wonderful person

  

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shygurl
Member since Oct 08th 2002
13361 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 11:30 AM

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24. "condolences. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

__________________________________________

I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

  

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walihorse
Member since Aug 03rd 2006
16125 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 11:02 PM

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25. "Thank you everyone for you kind words."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

She has always been incredible.

If a fat guy falls in the woods and there is no one around to see it, do the trees laugh?

  

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poetx
Charter member
58856 posts
Wed Aug-14-19 11:20 PM

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26. "what a loving portrait of your mom you just painted for us with your"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

words.

thank you for the gift of that glimpse of her, and i pray that it is cathartic for you and that some day, you can CTRL+S this and look back on it from a distance, and smile through happy tears, warmed by the remembrance of her love.

i also pray that it won't be too long, when the sadness slowly recedes (it never goes away), and you'll have those moments, when you see yourself in the mirror out of the corner of your eye, or when you say a certain phrase, laugh a certain way, or crack on somebody at the mall, that you recognize your mom's spirit, moving in you, a part of you.

peace to you.




x.

www.twitter.com/poetx

=========================================
I'm an advocate for working smarter, not harder. If you just
focus on working hard you end up making someone else rich and
not having much to show for it. (c) mad

  

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makaveli
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16303 posts
Thu Aug-15-19 07:43 AM

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27. "Sounds like she was strong woman with a big heart"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Beautiful tribute, RIP.

“So back we go to these questions — friendship, character… ethics.”

  

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