like a "Tom" or a street harasser?

Let me explain (for yall start OKP-splaining).

My job needed a receptionist intern and I was able to fill the role through the youth career development organization I work. The young girl (college student) seems very nice and pleasant but is very quiet and doesn't greet people as they come in the office.

It is my belief that the receptionist number #1 job is to greet everyone that comes into the office and I think if ole girl got to point where she was able to greet everyone by name she would guarantee herself a job here (a job she could move up in the company because we are small and growing enough for that).

At first, I thought it might just be me but a lady colleague remarked to me about the same thing.

Anyway since I brought her here I feel like I have an obligation to coach her but, it does feel a bit weird for me as a dude to tell a young woman to smile more.

Am I bugging?


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

...is harassment or not. Running through scenarios where you can find yourself unemployed for using the wrong word combination. Just fire her and hire a dude and you won't have this issue </s>


From Monster.com:
"""
Receptionist Job Duties: Welcomes visitors by greeting them, in person or on the telephone; answering or referring inquiries. Directs visitors by maintaining employee and department directories; giving instructions. Maintains security by following procedures; monitoring logbook; issuing visitor badges.
"""


Edit: What is her ethnicity? I gotta know before I can give a real non-<sarcasm> opinion.

coming off as "That guy".

Maybe she will be appreciative or maybe she will go home and make a big post on facebook how some tomming ass negro asked her to smile more at work.

shrugs.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Not trying to be argumentative, but just saying. Let's call it what it is. "That guy" == harasser, creepy, etc.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

If you're near the reception area when someone comes in, show her how it's done, so to speak. Maybe she'll get it, maybe she won't.

My bad, I'm kinda paranoid about these things because I'm a curmudgeon computer programmer, and I'm just have very little patience for office politics of any sort.

You need to tell her what you told us.

As a receptionist, it's your job to acknowledge and greet everyone that comes into the office.

That's a professional way to convey her duties to her. Telling her to simply "smile more" is not.
______________________________________________________________________________

"To Each His Reach"

but.....

Fuck aliens.

Let her know that...that she's the first "face" people see, and ask how does she feel walking up to strangers with an ice grill?

Or knowing that she has to interact with people that look and act like they dont want to be bothered. If that doesnt strike a match in her head, fire her.





*************************************

Fuck aliens

-Warriorpoet415


#2dopebrothersandastackofwax

https://www.instagram.com/thirtythree.three/


http://soundcloud.com/rayandersonjr

... just to say "hell fucking no don't EVER do that."

But she's a damn receptionist ?!? Smiling and general friendliness is practically the job description.

So yea I dunno. Still needs to be broached gently, but I don't think it's totally out of bounds to ask a receptionist to be ..... receptive.

----------------------------------------

"Fuck aliens." © WarriorPoet415

>... just to say "hell fucking no don't EVER do that."
>
>But she's a damn receptionist ?!? Smiling and general
>friendliness is practically the job description.
>
>So yea I dunno. Still needs to be broached gently, but I don't
>think it's totally out of bounds to ask a receptionist to be
>..... receptive.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

does she directly report to me?

am I her manager?

if yes to either, then talk about it.

if no to both then keep it moving BUT THEN ALSO bring it up to maybe the appropriate parties

IF and IF she is black or latino (that is belonging to your group or a marginalized group) then you might be able to slide suggestions through on a "hey listen, we're not really here (i.e. in corporate america)like that, this is an opportunity...keep it, I see you and...."

yadda yadda yadda

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

naw just tell her it's rude to not greet people when they walk in and she might want to be conscious of the demeanor she gives off or the impression she makes as a "face". something like that.

<--- Big Baller World Order

------

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

I wouldn't say "You need to smile more" but there are other effective ways to get your point across.

Having someone else present may help if you think your words could be twisted and used against you.

=================
Official Okay-Super Villain™

I only play the games that I win at -
Gamertag: Innovator
PSN: DurtyGambino
Steam: Durty Gambino
Twitch.tv/durtygambino

Just focus on this part

>My job needed a receptionist intern and I was able to fill the
>role through the youth career development organization I work.
> The young girl (college student) seems very nice and pleasant
>but is very quiet and doesn't greet people as they come in the
>office.
>
>It is my belief that the receptionist number #1 job is to
>greet everyone that comes into the office and I think if ole
>girl got to point where she was able to greet everyone by name
>she would guarantee herself a job here (a job she could move
>up in the company because we are small and growing enough for
>that).


If she wants to smile while she does it, great, but it's not necessary. I've had receptionists that weren't all smiley but were still very effective.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

I just tried in my head and that seems...weird.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

it doesn't take a happy face to be friendly.

Y'all buy those labels, I was born supreme

You can easily say, "Hey, how are you doing?" with a casual facial expression without crackin the smallest hint of a smile and still convey your *warmth.

https://chriswind.bandcamp.com/track/massage

"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African"
Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!

Having an ice grille might be acceptable for Holiday Inn or Target, but not at a business where clients are potentially spending tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Shit, there are coffee shops I no longer patronize because I didn't like how I was greeted/treated in our ~30 second interaction. Better act right and make me feel welcome if you want me to spend my money with you. Simple as that.

For a white collar/pink collar type job, the receptionist is just there to connect the customer with the right employee. Being engaging and bubbly is nice but definitely not necessary.

In retail, the person I'm talking to at the counter is my primary contact with the business... so yes, you want that contact to be as pleasant as possible.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

better than you do. Shit the receptionist before last didn't get the perm gig specifically because she wasn't friendly enough to the people coming in and out the office, employees and clients.

Why would you think you know what it takes to keep a job in my office better than me?



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>Better act right and make me feel welcome if you
>want me to spend my money with you. Simple as that.
>
>

Lmao really?

>Having an ice grille might be acceptable for Holiday Inn or
>Target, but not at a business where clients are potentially
>spending tens or hundreds of thousands of dollars.

Bruh, I made absolutely -NO- mention of an ice-grill whatsoever.

I said *casual facial expression* which is not tantamount to an ice-grill.

Accordingly, in the very professions that you mention, you can have a *casual facial expression* and greet patrons/clients while still conveying warmth without cracking a fake smile.

I get your point but what you speak of is folks with a grimace, I speak of folks without one. Casual facial expression ain't ice-grillin.

https://chriswind.bandcamp.com/track/massage

"You can take an African out of Africa, but you can't take Africa out of the African"
Afro-Americana/Afro-Caribbana/Afro-Latino unite. We are ALL Black!

Maybe she'll warm up and smile more in the future when she gets comfortable with the job but I don't think it should come as a directive (it will sound like one coming from you no matter how casually you try to put it).

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

>Maybe she'll warm up and smile more in the future when she
>gets comfortable with the job but I don't think it should come
>as a directive (it will sound like one coming from you no
>matter how casually you try to put it).

Maybe she will warm up and start smiling naturally. And maybe she won't. It's a month long gig. So she doesn't have a lot of run way to learn on the job. So I could leave it to her to figure out or a person who knows what it will take to keep the job should share it with her. I wish I had a person willing to give me a lot of basic advice when I started that I had to figure out on my own.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

You're a pretty terrible leader in this situation, because you can't seem to conceive of any other improvements she can make.

You're focused squarely on the smiling thing, and don't seem to consider any other improvement that can be made to be a better receptionist.

That's the failure here, and it can easily be rectified with a willingness to look for ways other then "smile more" to coach her.

I may be missing something but that's apparent in every post I've read from you on here.

You said it was to greet everyone that comes to the door.

You've mentioned that she blindly buzzes people in the door without really looking up from her screen.

How would instructing her to smile fix that?

Like you said, she needs to greet everyone that comes through the door to show that's she's actually engaged in her job. That needs to be the direction.

I think you're overly wrapped up in the style in which she's doing her job and skirting around the problem is that she's doing her job lazily.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

#39 is for you as well. Thanks.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Congrats? you got everybody to believe your focus was on getting her to smile.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

Give them a reason to.

Americans have a weird fascination with fake friendliness. This is why y'all struggle at foreign establishments.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

Or give the girl advice that she needs in order to keep the job in America that she has.

>Americans have a weird fascination with fake friendliness.
>This is why y'all struggle at foreign establishments.

Who is Yall?

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Advise her on that. But, as is evident, being the 'happy face of the company' probably isn't in her toolbox.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

of the company. Some times folks just need to know what is expected of them for them to play the game. It took me a long time to learn the hard way.


>Advise her on that. But, as is evident, being the 'happy face
>of the company' probably isn't in her toolbox.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

She just buzzes people in and returns to looking at her monitor.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

So she basically isn't really doing the job she was hired to do.

Good advice has already been given. I have nothing to add...


"Get ready....for your blessing....."

>She just buzzes people in and returns to looking at her
>monitor.

You need to tell her to acknowledge their presence with a greeting, and engage as appropriate. with a little energy and interest. That's it.

That's what you need to tell her.

If you can coach her to engage and be a little personable, shes likely to start smiling more by sheer virtue of interaction.

This is really, really simple once you get the "how do I tell this girl to smile more without getting fired" thing.

She doesn't need to smile to greet people.

She doesn't need to smile to pick up her energy output.

There are plenty of ways to coach her up to better work performance, from a social and functional standpoint, without telling her to smile.

The only issue here is your heavy focus on the "smile more".

If you're one of those guys who thinks women in general should smile more, and doesn't like the fact that you're overstepping bu presenting that suggestion, well..... that's a different topic. You may be trying to find a way to justify that suggestion.

But if you're sincerely looking for ways to help her improve her actual performance, the smiling thing shouldn't be brought up at all, because there are other, better, functional things she can do that absolutely should be coached.

"Get ready....for your blessing....."

challenges

when I'm focused...I look a bit intimidating

the staff would ask me to smile more, and some of the wait staff would make a joke of it as they passed the bar

Yeah, I agree, putting on a fake smile and grinning all day is just a couple of steps away from looney tunes

But I developed a routine of greeting everybody, acknowledging them, and breaking the ice as a conversation starter if the patron was interested

i.e. it's part of the job

IRT the OP, I would suggest pulling her aside and making sure she knows that greeting people is part of her job duty

she doesn't need to fake smile to do it.

---------------------------------------------------------------

If you can't understand it without an explanation

you can't understand it with an explanation

Every single person that entered the bar/restaurant/club I had to interact with. Really sucked sometimes, but I greeted each and every person as I checked their IDs. Little things like that mattered a lot because the reality is that bouncing is 95% social engineering.

Where in tarnation did I ever say that my only suggestion to her would be "you need to smile more".

Beyond the baiting post title (which I even admitted early on was here to bait yall bammas), I explained in the OP what she should do if she wants to keep a job here.

And I personally think it would be weird to not smile while greeting people so I entertained that digression in the convo...

And I think in a general discussion anyone would have with her about greeting people, whether it's done by me or a woman in the office, I think they would probably mention smiling as a part of general advice about being friendlier and greeting people...BUT where in all of this did you get the notion that my only advice (or directive) to her would be "You need to Smile more"?

LOL. Yall are comical in the efforts you go to paint the person you are disagreeing with as an unreasonable ahole to make your point.

As far as terrible leader. I not only got this girl the job but the woman in the role before her as well and one of the things I told her coming into the role was the last person didn't last long because she wasn't friendly, rarely greeted folks and didn't make the right allies. She took all that to heart and she is no longer in the role because she moved up to another position in the company.

Professional development is my shit. I am working on a law school letter of recommendation on my other monitor at this moment. But I am a terrible leader? How? Cause of this post? LOL.

Stop manye. You had the same reaction as #4, but didn't turn it off like Brew did when he actually read the post.


>She doesn't need to smile to greet people.
>
>She doesn't need to smile to pick up her energy output.
>
>There are plenty of ways to coach her up to better work
>performance, from a social and functional standpoint, without
>telling her to smile.
>
>The only issue here is your heavy focus on the "smile more".
>
>If you're one of those guys who thinks women in general should
> smile more, and doesn't like the fact that you're
>overstepping bu presenting that suggestion, well..... that's a
>different topic. You may be trying to find a way to justify
>that suggestion.
>
>But if you're sincerely looking for ways to help her improve
>her actual performance, the smiling thing shouldn't be brought
>up at all, because there are other, better, functional things
>she can do that absolutely should be coached.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

im kidding..

------------------------------------
2021 Mexican Resident

2019 CABG Survivor

2016 OK Survivor Champion

be about it or be without it

RIP GOATs

they come in....it welcomes our guests"

the end

the same thing you would tell a dude
the smile part should develop naturally

=======================================
Coolin...

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

Greeting someone does not require a smile. It, in this specific instance, may require a welcoming attitude. Yet still, a smile is not a necessity to do that. It's a bonus... An add-on. Not a requirement.

Plus, I'm sure that a smile is nowhere near the job description. If that were the case, we'd all be forced or compelled to smile all day long while in the presence of those folks who want us to smile.

--- praying for peace, love, and power

and what training did she get?

there would be any training that says you should be friendly and greet people.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

from my own experience with career development programs...it’s not always the best because some people just see you as free labor.

I think you should approach by asking her, “how are things going” . You’ll learn a lot there...

she probably doesn't have much work experience and doesn't know that she is expected to be friendly.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"