it's alot of fucking work my co-worker is couch surfing at his office his wife found out he was cheating with a client he has two kids, works 80 hours a week and is super involved in his community I asked him straight up when he had time to cultivate this relationship outside of his marriage basically hoe hours texting early in the am seeing her late after work im sitting there thinking...that early am for me would be spent playing overwatch or late after work on teaching my son a back cut on off the pick and roll then I literally thought about the potential women I knew were interested in me or flirted and how much work I would have to put in to get to a point of intimacy nah im good love my wife...but im too lazy to cheat
______________________________________
Navem nu, cuando sol Tutu nu, vondo nos nu Vita em, no continous non Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen
When the sun shades the ship We sweat and life is not safe To swim or to touch not When we unite we hedge amen
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 08:16 AM
2. "I got too much to lose" In response to Reply # 0
Back in college I was a dog but now I have way too much to lose to cheat.
However, a lot of people aren't putting in work like that when they cheat. They either hit back page or have that 1 coworker, waitress, etc who been "flirting" and it's quick and dirty.
Now dudes who wine and dine and have side pieces. How the fuck they do that while having a family is beyond me... and why would my man want that headache?
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 08:17 AM
3. "Double post" In response to Reply # 0 Fri Oct-21-16 08:17 AM by legsdiamond
.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 09:21 AM
12. "Those kids on the LL team have single mothers tho" In response to Reply # 7
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
hobbies and staying busy doesn't stop dudes from cheating.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
auragin_boi Member since Aug 01st 2003 20939 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 09:40 AM
15. "True but I'm saying..." In response to Reply # 14 Fri Oct-21-16 09:41 AM by auragin_boi
You got us out here like we living in the Walking Dead.
Everywhere we go there are Zombie (in this case Mombie) P*ssies chasing us around trying to tempt us.
I just thought it was funny...
Dude is all "Well I go to the Y to hoop" You all "But them soccer moms be getting their workout on too!" Dude is all "I lock myself in the basement and build model boats" You all "But the UPS Chick Delivering them Models is trying to live out her pron fantasies"
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 10:28 AM
21. "Haha... bruh, these women be out here" In response to Reply # 15
Women wearing these yoga pants knowing full well they don't even matter own a yoga mat.
it's hard out here.
Literally.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
28. "Nah I see his point, if it's specific to situations like that." In response to Reply # 15
If there's a sexual attraction, single mothers are much more likely to cut to the chase. And if you're an influential masculine figure in their child's life, it might enhance whatever attraction they might have to you. That's all.
I don't think he was trying to be all "Just avoid all places where you see women" lol.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 11:56 AM
37. "yup, staying busy can still get you caught out there" In response to Reply # 28
cause it's not really about being busy, it's about saying no to temptation
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
19. "Depends on the motivation and the guy" In response to Reply # 16
>It's that the hobbies fill up this portion of the brain that >you don't want idle. >
Guys cheat for many reasons... thrill of the chase, validating their manhood, seeking true intimacy, creating and maintain an exciting "secret" lifestyle, etc.
Many of those thrills can be recreated through hobbies... but not all of them.
auragin_boi Member since Aug 01st 2003 20939 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 11:29 AM
31. "lol...reminds me of when I tell my SO about my hoops fantasy league" In response to Reply # 19
>Guys cheat for many reasons...
>thrill of the chase - Try investing, chase might pay off in dividens at that
>validating their manhood - lift weights, fix a car or something around the house, play with your kids
>seeking true intimacy - share a secret with your SO, offer up a massage randomly, get her involved in something you like to do
^^^This one is tough though, if you're relationship is lacking intimacy, it might be time for counseling or a replacement.
>creating and maintain an exciting "secret" lifestyle, etc. -Everytime I bring up my hoops fantasy league, she smiles and looks at me with that "you're such and adorable big a** man-child" and I awkwardly smile back like "well at least I ain't out f*ckin' other women".
>Guys cheat for many reasons... thrill of the chase, validating >their manhood, seeking true intimacy, creating and maintain an >exciting "secret" lifestyle, etc.
I think all of these fall under the catergory of "filling the void".
> >Many of those thrills can be recreated through hobbies... but >not all of them.
True. Lacking intimacy probably won't be filled by hobbies. I think many of the "wanting to fill like a man" sort of reasons probably can.
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
17. "Lack of opportunity" In response to Reply # 0
I'd wager that's the MAIN reason. Whether it's logistics (live with wifey, busy all the time, etc.) or opportunity/ability to attract a woman to cheat with.
If every dude had a private office w/ a couch and a jawn that was down then the cheating numbers would look like Durant's free throw percentage.
18. "RE: Lack of opportunity" In response to Reply # 17
>I'd wager that's the MAIN reason. Whether it's logistics >(live with wifey, busy all the time, etc.) or >opportunity/ability to attract a woman to cheat with. > >If every dude had a private office w/ a couch and a jawn that >was down then the cheating numbers would look like Durant's >free throw percentage.
You don't believe that. If I had a private office with a couch I'd take advantage of the quiet. Not the chance to bring more noise and drama into my life.
------ “There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus
23. "Only if its prostitutes and thus a pure financial transaction" In response to Reply # 17
if its just based off the good old holla holla holla you're always dealing with her feelings and how to keep control of power since you've got everything to lose, she's got none.
PoppaGeorge Member since Nov 07th 2004 10384 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 12:17 PM
43. "cat I worked with stayed smashin' CL broads during work hours" In response to Reply # 17
He lived far enough from the office that going home for lunch was not an option so half the time he was smashing randoms he would catch off Craigslist. After we had worked together for about a year I guess he felt I was cool enough to let me know what was up by showing me some white chick's pic like "whatchu think bruh? She hit me up today to slide through and break her off at lunch". I'm thinking she worked with us somewhere but then he told me he put an ad up on CL and she responded. Dude was like "yeah I get 'em all the time, lotta lonely ass housewives out here in Scottsdale just waiting to get some dick". Dude stayed up in white woman pussy and didn't really seem to care what she looked like. Dude showed me some fat broads and I'm like "really??? a big chick?". Turns out two of 'em were within a block or two of the office so he would take a 20 minute break, walk over there for some head and come back like nothing ever happened. He had a Tracfone he kept at the office specifically for these broads. Told me it never went in his pocket or his briefcase 'cause he might fuck around and forget and take it home.
Same dude went to Puerto Rico with a few of his boys for a week and came back with all kinds of nude pics of broads he smashed with all manner of stories to tell.
Dude has a nice looking wife at the crib too. Church-going folks, active with the congregation and all. He told me sex with her is boring as shit but he loves her with all his heart.
---------------------------
"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out? Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then? They don't want to call for peace then.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 10:33 AM
22. "My boy is a preacher... " In response to Reply # 0
Told me one day he was setting up the church during the week for bible study and a woman walked in...
"Pastor, excuse me... I just wanna sick your duck"
There's a war going on outside no man is safe from.
It all about the dude and his loyalty to his woman.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 11:58 AM
38. "he said ma'am... this is a house of worship" In response to Reply # 27
and she turned around walked out...
and that's all I'll say about that
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
30. "1 of my aces that i grew up with is a former wild nigga turned preacher" In response to Reply # 22 Fri Oct-21-16 11:25 AM by mikediggz
he got married a few years ago too...nigga be like so many women in the church be givin him that "look" that its incredible. he said he aint fell for it but he said he be doin alot of prayin
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 12:03 PM
39. "bruh, these women looking for God to send them a man" In response to Reply # 30
and he's on stage preaching that good gospel.
real talk.. dude told me it's the biggest problem preachers deal with. He said the conferences be off the chain!!!
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
41. "Was she a long time parishioner?" In response to Reply # 22
Also, did she show her face in his church again? I'm guessing dude didn't want to divulge too much information about her, so I dunno if you can answer my queries or not.
"Sean sparks like John Starks, nah, Sean ball like John Wall" - Rest In Power Forever Sean Price.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 01:02 PM
54. "Methodist preacher so he was knew to the area" In response to Reply # 41
I don't think she was a member just someone who prolly heard there was a new preacher.
He told her no but when she was leaving he saw that azzz and well...
Let's just say it didn't happen inside the church.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 01:08 PM
55. " More than likely they cheated" In response to Reply # 50
Some women lie but my nigga keeps it real with me. Sometimes he would get a call from a female preacher talking about how she knew another preacher was married and wasn't leaving his wife but she can't help the way she feels
Plus these niggas be at the strip clubs and he said the Baptist preachers are the worst...lol.
Told me about a preacher at a conference in Houston Saturday night who woke up in Dallas... and was supposed to be the lead preacher. Lmao
He doesn't drink so he is the designated driver. Crazy stories.
His new wife knows what's up tho... she goes to the conferences.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
PoppaGeorge Member since Nov 07th 2004 10384 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 01:11 PM
56. "one of my boys from middle school is a preacher." In response to Reply # 22 Fri Oct-21-16 01:12 PM by PoppaGeorge
bright skinned wavy headed cat with your typical Detroit upbringing. Dude told me back in the late 90's that as soon as he started his ministry chicks in the congregation started throwing pussy at him left and right. Married or single, didn't matter, they were still trying to get at him.
---------------------------
"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out? Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then? They don't want to call for peace then.
26. "Yup. It's not the physical, its 'maintaining' the side piece" In response to Reply # 0
Probably the only kind of person I can see cheating stress free is your traveling businessman type where you don't have any roots and can keep things disconnected (although even that's probably not 100% foolproof in the age of social media).
Sure, you can still periodically pull one night stands that want nothing else. But overall it's going to be people that want a more, even if its just a bit more(mini dates, someone to vent to, attention), then just a hard fuck and that's when its a hassle.
33. "RE: You know why some men don't cheat?" In response to Reply # 0
Agreed.
And I feel the same way about lying. Honesty is the best policy not only because it's the right thing to do, but when you lie to people you have to keep track of your lies and maintain multiple story lines. It sounds like a lot of work. It's much easier to just tell the truth at all times.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 12:08 PM
40. "a good friend of mine told us he was getting a divorce" In response to Reply # 36
he never told anyone of his troubles cause he was embarrassed.
felt bad but we always thought they had the perfect marriage because they were caked up.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
44. "my wife's cousin is like this with me" In response to Reply # 42 Fri Oct-21-16 12:22 PM by atruhead
he and his lady run a semi-successful business sold in Target so we playfully do the black man praise each other/out humble each other thing but every time he says "Im trying to get to where yall are" (they arent married or even engaged yet) he has no clue what's on the other side
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 12:58 PM
53. "Marriage is like the post office bruh... always some new shit to sort ou..." In response to Reply # 44
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
58. "what about when all the married men are cheating?" In response to Reply # 45
threw me for a loop
think it was a fight party or one of the wives birthdays, but i'm at this shindig. Wife's friend. Friend invites all her girlfriends. Husband invites all the his friends. Naturally there are some husbands who are there whose wives are friends with the host. I fall into that category. I know the husband but we only kick it when our wives get together.
halfway through the night all the husbands are in the one of the living rooms choppin it up. Dudes start going down their lists of side pieces and how they had to use a burner phone, or how many they got outta town. i kept sippin my rum and coke and looking over my shoulder. i wanted to chime in but I had nothing to offer other than, that's fucked up, you wild bro, i hear you, is she cute tho.
on the way home i kept it to myself, but my mind was racing. then my wife tells me that her friend is the type to look the other way because the husband keeps her laced and takes her on trips. felt like she was setting a trap for me so i hit her with the must be nice kee kee, and changed the subject.
does that even count as cheating?
either way, shit sound like a lot of work. from what I gathered, the wives got boring in bed and the dudes never stopped chasing after marriage so it carried on.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 01:55 PM
60. "Something similar happened to me" In response to Reply # 58
Found myself in a room with a bunch of dudes going through divorces...
I had to fall back from that group for a while...
They were looking at me like "nigga, it's just a matter of time"
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
69. "Old White Dudes are the worst. That's why the Trump Tape was so" In response to Reply # 60
not a surprised.
Old White Dudes will share there business in a heart beat. Talk about sex with their wives, side jawns.
I was at a kids birthday party this weekend and dude was telling me about how much Trim he would be getting if he weren't married. I'm like dude, we just met not even 10 minutes ago.
>Found myself in a room with a bunch of dudes going through >divorces... > >I had to fall back from that group for a while... > >They were looking at me like "nigga, it's just a matter of >time" > >
********** "Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson
70. "Those dudes sound like they are way too messy." In response to Reply # 58
Can't clique up with messy people. Everyone huddling together to compare stats while the wives are in another room? Nah.
You did the right thing by not commenting on it though. If you feel like your wife is judging your responses, just move on from the discussion as quickly as possible. It really has nothing to do with you & yours, and neither of you have the whole story anyway.
46. "I agree that cheating is TMW!" In response to Reply # 0
I believe some men do not cheat because:
-They love, honor and respect their spouse/S.O. -Karma -Lack of options and opportunity to cheat -Takes up too much time, energy and money to do so -Too busy, too tired -suffers from some sort of illness or sexual dysfunction -other reasons that may be specific to his relationship
57. "like you and reading comprehension...too lazy to apply logic" In response to Reply # 48
have no desire to cheat didnt once say i did was looking at a conworkers situation and though if i wanted to id be too lazy but guess that was too much to comprehend
______________________________________
Navem nu, cuando sol Tutu nu, vondo nos nu Vita em, no continous non Nos nu ekta nos sepe ta, amen
When the sun shades the ship We sweat and life is not safe To swim or to touch not When we unite we hedge amen
72. "It was both." In response to Reply # 68 Fri Oct-21-16 05:35 PM by Castro
I had two partners.
First one was sexual and there was an emotional component to it because we shared interests and on occasion worked together. The sexual aspect of was because my ex ran hot and cold. And winter could last a looooong ass time. She told me point blank that, "Its not my responsibility as your wife to HAVE to sleep with you." which I agreed with because I never felt or acted like I owned her...but I was like, "well, you are leaving me to my own devices." So out the door I went. My rule was to never sleep with someone in town, and my family was more important than an affair. So my first lover knew that, but as time passed it became messy, so I stopped. And started. And stopped. And hey lets link. And finally stopped for real.
Second partner was someone the ex and I both knew very well. So this was messy from the start. She was going through issues in her relationship, and she knew firsthand from my-ex the situation we were in....so we both were coming from a space of being in a bad situation and wanting some sanctuary from that. We were discrete but once the cat was out the bag, it was an absolute shit show and I have folks to this day who won't fuck with me as a result. My ex was hurt and such but there were layers to the entire situation that basically gave me a sense of fuck it. The second partner stayed in her relationship and things got better. After this, I was done with my marriage and after several months, moved out.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Fri Oct-21-16 06:49 PM
74. "Damn... isn't know how I feel about mates refusing sex " In response to Reply # 72
Don't get me wrong, I'm not talking sex on demand but cmon...
I'm married and can't get no ass for months? Nah... that's grounds for cheating.
My boy, the preacher... he ended up getting a divorce after getting caught out there because his wife wouldn't give him any. She even got upset at him when he danced at our best friends wedding. She didn't think a preacher should dance.
Whether it's wife or husband, if you withhold sex you ain't shit and you basically are trying to ruin the marriage.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
78. "It was trauma from their youth." In response to Reply # 74
I couldn't do anything about it. We did counseling and all of that...but my upbringing was such that if someone wasn't fulfilling my needs, I found someone who would. So I did.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79515 posts
Sat Oct-22-16 07:21 AM
79. "Damn, that's tough" In response to Reply # 78
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
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