Piling up dirty dishes on my little kitchen table. I have a dishwasher and everything...

One is enough

I've been working on it and have gotten better about it but still fall into the old habit much too often.

"Dressed up like an evil villain dressed up like a soccer dad"

I feel like all fingernail bitters should be exposed for the psychopaths they really are.

.

"Dressed up like an evil villain dressed up like a soccer dad"

I simply grew out of it, don't know how. I only do it a couple a times a year now when I am particularly stressed.

________
http://twitter.com/aehorton
http://instagram.com/aehorton

Buy a big ass agenda and follow through. I'm betting you'll feel good afterwards...

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

I have like a 12 minute drive to work. I get to work everyday with like 3 or 4 minutes to spare before I have to sign in. It's a stone habit...my body literally gets me out at the same time everyday on some auto-pilot shit. I'd like to start getting to work at 8:45 and then do my little computer stuff and be lamping at 9, but I just can't. The way I run it now, if there's a dead animal on the road and traffic backs up just a little, I'm gonna be late. That's dumb.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

and I be chillin around the crib with plenty of time...watching Mike and Mike and shit.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

>

I went hard...cut off all excess sugar items + sweets to one 'cheat item' a week.

First thing was beverages...eliminated everything from soda to juice, teas etc. Just drank water and flavored seltzer waters. At first they were nasty but soon my buds got accustomed to it.

Hardest part is when i would be out to dinner at someone's house and the desserts came out. Homemade desserts always better than store bought/restaurant though.

Replace the sugar with a healthy sweet alternative like fruit. Summers are easy bc i was going to the store and loading up on melons at least once a week.

-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.

>I went hard...cut off all excess sugar items + sweets to one
>'cheat item' a week.
>
>First thing was beverages...eliminated everything from soda to
>juice, teas etc. Just drank water and flavored seltzer waters.
>At first they were nasty but soon my buds got accustomed to
>it.
>

that's my issue. Drinks. I have to just buckle down and drink more water..only WATER.


>Hardest part is when i would be out to dinner at someone's
>house and the desserts came out. Homemade desserts always
>better than store bought/restaurant though.


These work folk bring sweets every day just sittin out there. I rarely partake though but healthy alternatives would stop the cravings. I do bring my own stuff too but them crossiants, donuts etc...lol..I call them out for that shit too


>Replace the sugar with a healthy sweet alternative like fruit.
>Summers are easy bc i was going to the store and loading up on
>melons at least once a week.

I did the non sugar thing once years ago...it took me like three days of water only etc and I was straight. But I backslid. I just gotta get back on that horse but these long ass hours and my work stitch makes it difficult to eat right

--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

I try like a motherfucker but as someone raised on Kool Aid....

I forget the details but it amounted to "that first week was hell but after awhile I didn't crave it anymore".

He just buckled down.

and yeah, i was raised on kool aid (and flavor aid) as well.


and if i'm being honest, you're one of my favorite posters.

************************************************************

a can of coke : 140 calories, that is a lot. I try to limit myself to two nowadays.

first, you have to understand that we are all addicted to sugar. it's been proven that it's more addictive than cocaine and heroin. watching documentaries on netflix like "sugar coated" and "fed up" helped, because it made me upset that i was being deceived. it took me a week to get passed the cravings, but now i don't miss it at all (almost 3 months in). i don't even get tempted, but yes, it boils down to mental discipline. understand why Jack LaLane, and older Okinawans live so long. granted, there's sugar in a lot of things people don't even realize. ketchup, bread, baby formula, etc etc. but i'm now consuming less than 10 grams of extrinsic sugar daily, and i've never felt better. it's also far better on your teeth. what's important is to enjoy food, but in a better way. eating fruit is good for you. drinking fruit juices isn't. strawberries, raspberries, bananas, etc have become my snack. i learned how to cook my own food, and never thought i would enjoy that, but i do.


the ONLY extrinsic sugar i consume is:

2 protein shakes daily (i'm a bodybuilder, so this is necessary. basically 2-3 grams a day)
1 creatine drink daily (1 gram of sugar, but again necessary for bodybuilding)
1 cup of plain greek yogurt (4 grams of sugar, and yeah, it took me a good week to get used to plain yogurt)
wheat buns (1 gram of sugar, and this isn't every day, but only when i cook turkey burgers)

what's amazing, even to me, is how i went from not enjoying water, to drinking and enjoying water all day long. but, as a word of advice, i say give yourself no cheat days, because that will pull you right back in.

************************************************************

>first, you have to understand that we are all addicted to
>sugar. it's been proven that it's more addictive than cocaine
>and heroin. watching documentaries on netflix like "sugar
>coated" and "fed up" helped, because it made me upset that i
>was being deceived. it took me a week to get passed the
>cravings, but now i don't miss it at all (almost 3 months in).
>i don't even get tempted, but yes, it boils down to mental
>discipline. understand why Jack LaLane, and older Okinawans
>live so long. granted, there's sugar in a lot of things people
>don't even realize. ketchup, bread, baby formula, etc etc. but
>i'm now consuming less than 10 grams of extrinsic sugar daily,
>and i've never felt better. it's also far better on your
>teeth. what's important is to enjoy food, but in a better way.
>eating fruit is good for you. drinking fruit juices isn't.
>strawberries, raspberries, bananas, etc have become my snack.
>i learned how to cook my own food, and never thought i would
>enjoy that, but i do.
>
>
>the ONLY extrinsic sugar i consume is:
>
>2 protein shakes daily (i'm a bodybuilder, so this is
>necessary. basically 2-3 grams a day)
>1 creatine drink daily (1 gram of sugar, but again necessary
>for bodybuilding)
>1 cup of plain greek yogurt (4 grams of sugar, and yeah, it
>took me a good week to get used to plain yogurt)
>wheat buns (1 gram of sugar, and this isn't every day, but
>only when i cook turkey burgers)
>
>what's amazing, even to me, is how i went from not enjoying
>water, to drinking and enjoying water all day long. but, as a
>word of advice, i say give yourself no cheat days, because
>that will pull you right back in.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

It’s a deep seated compulsion.

In certain respects I really don’t care and that compulsion is a net benefit. It’s what allowed me to get rid of a lot of toxic ass people because I won’t allow anyone to fuck with me or disrespect me without a response. That stubborn nature allowed me to actually get healthy enough to get away from that shit and get my life straight. It allowed me to be able to tell the incompetent ass foster care system to fuck off at 16 and get by on my own from there without getting in trouble.

Still, the consequences far outweigh those benefits.

I can do it at, say, work, through gritted teeth because I have a family to support. Before that? I quit like 12 jobs.

On the street I’m, uh, trying, but I know it’s only a matter of time before someone snaps back. I was in line at a gas station a month or two ago. There was only one line open. Two other guys came in behind me and asked the cashier if he was open. He was like… uh…. Sure, if you have cash only.

So the two guys went to the counter and I looked at all three and asked if they were blind and didn’t see someone already standing in line. I told the cashier if he was going to open the register then he should have taken the next person in line. The two guys just stared and the cashier said “It’s cash only at this register”.

I’m like AND? did you think to ask me while I was standing here?
So he offered to let me go but at that point I was up at my line. I just spit more shit at him and the two next to me. My cashier apologized and I told her it wasn’t her fault her coworker was a moron and the two assholes at his register think it’s ok to cut ahead like that.

None of them said shit until I walked out. I could see them all looking at me and all three were jabbering while I pumped gas. It took everything in me not to walk back in and ask them what’s up.
I should be over that shit by now for the same reasons I put up with shit at the job (though right today things are kush for me, but I digress) but I’m still compelled. At some point it’s going to escalate into a fight or I’m going to wind up hitting someone who gives far, far less of a fuck than I do and I’ll get got.

And of course there are my interactions here, where I let Amristar get under my skin enough that I invited him to pay me a visit. I was dead ass serious about that too and for what? Trolling me?

My inability to let anything, large or small, important or trivial, slide unchallenged is absolutely my worst and most detrimental quality.

Being self-aware is always a good step towards changing things up. You could always try to change your behavior, might influence your thoughts and feelings.

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

>You could always try to change your behavior, might
>influence your thoughts and feelings.

Where are you coming from here? I'm curoious about your angle.

Take the gas station situation:

The problem at hand wasn't my behavior. I did nothing wrong. My behavior in that situation was a response to the rude behavior of the two guys who tried to get ahead in line and the cashier with no customer service skills, who should have taken the person already in line.

I didn't address it in a constructive way but the truth is there really is no constructive way to handle that aside from simply letting it slide, which was the best course of action. Addressing it at all was most likely going to create some kind of tension. In the grand scheme I should have just let it slide.

I didn't try to circumvent the line where others were waiting patiently and I wasn't the cashier who didn't think to take the person who was already waiting first. My actions were a response to rude and inconsiderate behavior.

So I'm well aware that my response wasn't good for me but that does not change the situation I responded to.

Historically it seems like people notice the person who responds to the line stepper more than they notice or even care about the line stepper, so I'm curious to know where you're coming from.

but sometimes perhaps short.

feelings, thoughts and behavior being intertwined is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapy. the schema most looked begins with the situation and looks at the consequence too.

Because when I say something along the lines of “excuse me, I’m sorry sir, but I was standing here first”, I often get a dismissive response “well I didn’t see you, sorry” or “yeah but you didn’t ask, they asked” or something more aggressive.

Thing is, I’m holding my tongue when I politely speak up and when they give me some weak ass apology or dismissal or get snappy in response, that makes it much harder to maintain that tone and it’s like “WORD? Because I’m fucking being polite right now but TRUTH IS, MOTHERFUCKER….” And off I go.

If I just hold my tongue, maybe I’ll get ulcers or whatever but at least there’s usually no drama outside of my internal irritation.

Not the manliest thing in the world but some times turning the right short phrase with a smile can put people in their place better than fighting words.

I like to think that if they get me mad, they won.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

Like, I wish this were rooted in machismo or something like that.

But it's a matter of principle, whether or not the issue has any import and unless there's something else forcing my hand, like "I should probably shut the fuck up and keep this money and benefits for my wife and kids", well....

And I know better.

I know how to manipulate people, But that usually means they don't realize I'm being manipulative and the only time I'll really do that is when I want to confirm something about them or some shit.

Somehow I need to just figure out how to supress the urge to use a hammer when a scalpel will do.

.

...I'm from the era when A.I. was the answer, now they think ai is the answer - Marlon Craft

I seriously never meant anything by my replies.. just getting LOLs off. This place is a like a playground to me and I forget sometimes that these are actual people behind the names on the screen


we're all working on things we can improve about ourselves (myself included) and wish you the best

That's no joke. Willing to get fucked up and catch an L in the process. I can't blame you for my inability to laugh it off but when I told you and Deej to come see me I meant that shit for real.

Even now. I want to scrap. I want to say Fuck your lil sentiment, call me when you get to Culver and let's fucking handle it.

And for what? You basically just put your hand out and said my bad. I can't front on that. I respect that.

Because as antagonistic as I think you were, it's on me to brush it off and I couldn't do it.

I don't even know anything about you. For all I know you're a 6"5 ex marine who does mma at night when I'm having a grilled cheese and I couldn't have cared less.

I'm a fun guy. I crack jokes all day. My friends can hit me with all kinds of shit and it's funny. But when it comes to people outside of my bubble I guess I can't tell when people are just ribbing.

What's fucked is other guys actually come at me 1000 times harder but your "ever notice..." thing fucking got to me ridiculously bad. I can be irked at you over it but... Jesus I gotta be able to laugh that shit off.

Not sure how.

But I appreciate the sentiment. That's real and I can respect it. Frankly I need to adopt the last sentence in your post and just not forget it.

Peace.

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

I'm truly addicted and I know it.

You stay classy okayplayer!!

I don't want no Starbucks, girl; I want them draws.

be GONE!!!

IG: amadu_me

"...Whateva, man..." (c) Redman

---------------------------

"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

fuck you.

fuck you.

why do you do it?

snorting it is easier.

fuck you.

wanted to take myself out of the present moment

fuck you.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

>

so far so good brah

In a generation of swine, the one-eyed pig is king.
-Hunter S. Thompson

if i've had a few beers, don't put me within 30 feet of a can of copenhagen straight.

My manicurist moved to Florida. she was magical. I haven't found a person who is as detailed yet. Now at weeks end my cuticles look ragged

--------------------------

Lately if I have a disagreement with a friend and neither of us backs down , i.e. I think I'm in the right and so do they, I'll just quit talking to em.

I always see memes on FB that say shit like "If we aint talking and you waiting on me to reach out, you'll wait forever" and it kinda describes me completely. It's moreso when I feel wronged, because I don't have a problem with giving an apology. But I hate being the one who feels wronged AND having to reach out to squash stupid shit.

We aint dating cuz we never talked about that, but we aint exclusive cuz we also never talked about that. But we act like we're together... except don't put a pic of us on IG cuz the other girl might see it...

Terrible, terrible habit but I like to be able to leave my job and at least get a few minutes of alone time.

-------------------------------
If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil

unless you do it compulsively to release tension or something like that...

1. its a bad habit ...

2. plus chickens don't like it...

You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes.