I can't stand "professional" engagement photos. To the point they make me almost physically ill. I'm not sure I can articulate exactly what I hate about them but I'll give it a shot.
For one thing they're all the fucking same: Couple in front of overly dramatic backdrop with doting eye contact. And maybe it's because I grew up in the Midwest but like 95% of them are in some ridiculous nature location, even if the couple in question's idea of a good "outdoorsy" time is dinner on a patio. And the couple is almost always wearing some completely absurd sorta matching J Crew outfits that make no sense to be out in the woods in.
Is that what true love is? Am I missing it? Is true love wearing semi-matching business casual attire to some forest or meadow and staring into each other's eyes while some asshole we found on the internet clicks away on his DSLR?
And they're always so fucking serious. Like both people found out they have terminal ass cancer and the only way to cure it is prolonged humorless eye contact. Do yall people in love just stare at each other like that? If my girl looked at me like that I'd just laugh my ass off.
And the worst part is no matter how ridiculous they are you can't make fun of 'em because at least one of the people obviously takes it too goddam seriously to begin with. The only acceptable responses are shit like "you're so in love!" And "how beautiful!" And no matter how good of friends you are or how much ballbreaking you've done in the past a well timed "you both look goddam ridiculous" is going to be met with a brand of hostility that nobody wants to be a part of.
2. "the balance needed between doing too much...& doing too little" In response to Reply # 0
if you text them first...it becomes a habit. they never text you.
but if you fall off from the texting...they wont text so its either you generate the conversation or there IS no conversation.
if you talk too much...they get turned off. if you talk to little...they get turned off. if you let them talk, they say you are boring and get turned off. its amazing basically anyone gets laid pretty much thank god i look so gatdamn good otherwise i'd be online w/ you dorks wondering where the women at
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 11:28 AM
3. "going out to eat for a first date" In response to Reply # 0
especially when they have ZERO interest in anything besides eating
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
I had a 3 hour phone conversation with a girl at school. Talked about everything under the sun. Could've sworn I was in there. Went to my boys like. "Yoooo. Me and such and such spoke for 3 hours on the phone yesterday " ready for hi5s and shit. They all looked at me like. " you just talked yourself out of any chance, man". I thought they were just jealous till her sister kept telling me she wasn't home whenever I called and she kept ignoring me at school. Smh.
PoppaGeorge Member since Nov 07th 2004 10384 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 03:29 PM
58. "the term "ghosting" may be new, but the actions accosiated are not" In response to Reply # 12
Back in the day it was no more returned calls or if you got 'em on the phone they were always "busy". Once caller ID came out shit was a wrap, once the person you trying to fuck with saw your number them calls went unanswered. Pages went unanswered to the point where I know folks male and female that would go page you from a friend's house just to get you to call back.
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"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out? Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then? They don't want to call for peace then.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 12:11 PM
13. "he said VERY disrespectful" In response to Reply # 10
he thought he put it DOWN...
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 03:11 PM
51. "bruh, thats what makes it hilarious" In response to Reply # 40
it's practically a rule to ghost someone you had a fling with...
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 12:06 PM
11. "I like you as a friend?" In response to Reply # 4
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
84. "finally someone in my age group who gets it!" In response to Reply # 21
all these old heads replying to me talking about the 90's lol
I hear you on the "slight disturbance" part of it. Dating is so much easier now and theres more access to a wider range of partners because of online dating.
So sometimes thte slightest little hiccup in the courtship process will make you wanna NEXT them (or vice versa)
22. "I've "ghosted" a lot of women during the initial dating stage" In response to Reply # 4 Mon Mar-07-16 12:37 PM by flipnile
Once I start getting a bad "vibe" and things start seeming harder than they should (callbacks & texts take too long, unenthusiastic on the phone, etc.) the I just stop. No calls, no texts, no status updates and no hurt feelings. I just have better things to do than get the run-around.
With that said, I get why it happens. It only sucks when it's someone that you had a real relationship with.
25. "lol going out of your way to avoid someone is not new " In response to Reply # 4
it can be more passive digitally but taking another route home, switching up your routine or just plain shaking the spot when they show up is not unheard of
i agree it's some coward shit and yeah it can feel disrespectful but i get that it beez like that sometime it has been done to me and i have done it to ppl and whenever i have done it i've felt like I DON'T OWE YOU SHIT so if i think it's being done to me all i can really do is kanyeshrug smh
-DJ R-Tistic- Member since Nov 06th 2008 51986 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 01:35 PM
32. "I have never gone ghost, but I do limit the interaction when I realize" In response to Reply # 4
it's all downhill. Mainly because I hate the confrontation of "wait, why is this over????" I'm still damaged from ending it with a chick in 2009 who did NOT take it the right way...and then she hit me with the pregnancy scare. I'm still shook, yo.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 03:13 PM
52. "nigga thats ghostin" In response to Reply # 32
only reason you limit your Shit is because you dj parties...
if you worked a regular gig you would be black Casper out this bitch...lol
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
-DJ R-Tistic- Member since Nov 06th 2008 51986 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 03:16 PM
53. "Nahh, ghostin means you ignoring all texts and convo!" In response to Reply # 52
I still respond, just don't initiate and don't flirt. Basically friend zoning em!
N man, yea, I've had a few still pop up on me. One obviously got DRUNK just so she could approach me. She came up and tried to kiss me while I was DJ'n, I was like...........don't (c) Bryson Tiller
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 04:04 PM
64. "haha.. I had an alias when I used to tour" In response to Reply # 53
and one girl gave me her number and demanded I call her. I left the number on her night stand and thought that would make it obvious since it was a one nighter...
she showed up at another show calling me by my alias and I was straight up ignoring her because that isn't my name...
she ran up on me asking why I didn't call... She was legit hurt like it was HS and I was her first crush. Her soul was crushed.
what made it worse was the sex was bad.. REAL REEEEAL bad. All teeth and when she got on top she did the Matrix move and hit her head on the nightstand.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
17. "Absolutely on the photo shoots" In response to Reply # 0
They make me gag. The "happy family" perfect photos too. I can't tell you how many I've seen with the family all wearing white button downs and jeans on a beach. Ew.
Also public displays of over the top lovey dovey shit on social media. LOVE YOU BABE! *picture of them lady and the tramping an ice cream cone at mini golf*
24. "The attempted meme naming of every goddam wedding" In response to Reply # 0
It can't just be the Smith-Jones nuptials anymore. Everybody's gotta have some paparazzi shorthand Kimye/Brangelina thing now. And inevitably that has to become hashtag for the wedding on IG/FB/whatever.
26. "Going from 0 to 100 with texting frequency" In response to Reply # 0
Like if I just met you yesterday, I don't want our text thread to be in the 100s by the weekend. I don't want u asking me how work was if you've only known me 3 days. I don't wanna feel bad that I don't have time or the desire to hit u back already.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
46. "I think it's a generational thing though as far as caring about it." In response to Reply # 36
Your older family members absolutely care about those pics and want to see them. Your very close friends probably care too. BUT the overwhelming majority of your social media contacts don't care at all, so you prolly don't need to post everything to Facebook.
PoppaGeorge Member since Nov 07th 2004 10384 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 03:49 PM
62. "shit so ghetto you might as well be holdin a brick of 20/20 with it" In response to Reply # 45
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"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out? Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then? They don't want to call for peace then.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 03:06 PM
50. "this post is awesome" In response to Reply # 0
I love how much y'all hate love,happiness and affection.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
they don't really capture what I hate but it's the "big eyes, shocked look or looking to the side" while facing straight at the camera.
I HATE that shit... Wtf are you looking at and why didn't you turn your head like a normal human being.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
60. "text text text text text oh and emoticons" In response to Reply # 0
of course i dont have to worry abt this but when im talking with pple i cant even imagine texting things that pple should do in person or with a live voice like...shouldn't you pick up the phone to ask someone out? break up with them? discuss something important? ugh.
----------------------------------- we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte
>i cant even imagine texting things that pple should do in >person or with a live voice >like...shouldn't you pick up the phone to ask someone out? >break up with them? discuss something important? >ugh.
68. "This. I told my wife from jump to just roll with whatever she liked" In response to Reply # 65
I helped in terms of logistics and settling on budgetary decisions and weighed in for tie breakers but I went in agenda free.
My only caveat was that our wedding wouldn't be planned by committee. I didn't want her feeling pressure to plan things to please anyone but herself. Thankfully she isn't a Zilla, though that was never a concern.
The Wordsmith Member since Aug 13th 2002 17070 posts
Mon Mar-07-16 07:28 PM
71. "For real. My wife is more about family pics and crap...." In response to Reply # 65
...than I am. Crap is boring to me. We don't have the kind of photos the OP is about but we do have those together portraits. I love my wife but wouldn't lose sleep over not taking those portrait flicks.
66. "The whole scene is a minefield of selfishness and delusion" In response to Reply # 0
I felt that way when I was out there and I feel that way way today watching from the sidelines. My single friends either have some weird ass stories or they are the weird as story.
I see a lot of inflated perceptions of self coupled with outsized, unrelenting demands that don't quite jive with who the person is. I.e, you can't be out of shape but demand the model of fitness and act like that's a reasonable expectation. You may or may not succeed but it's still a ridiculous expectation.
I see a general pattern of people refusing to "settle" for anything less than a level above themselves yet doing little improve their position to make themselves an attractive option to those they're trying attract.... All the while complaining about how wack the field their attracting is.
Then everyone seems to have odd rules for communication. People go hit/cold on a dime.
What's funny is I'm in a significantly better position now than ever, yet If I suddenly found myself single tomorrow I don't think I'd want to bother with dating in the slightest.
72. "Couple Competition and Domestic Violence" In response to Reply # 0
Couple Competition
Is it the reality tv couples? Jay Z and Beyonce? or is ti Barack and Michelle that has everyone thinking their bae's need to one up everyone else's. Especially with young black educated millennials. They are smart, business minded, well traveled and artsy/funky stylistically. Therefore their relationships are done for the gram.
But all in all, I think black relationships are moving in the right direction for middle and upper class people.
Domestic Violence This shit is all too common among young people of all sexual orientations. I think black relationships need to work on the domestic violence. This modern day trend is sickening.
74. "Tell me about your family's background..." In response to Reply # 0 Mon Mar-07-16 07:55 PM by Kira
... Followed by how do I know you can take care of me and provide for me?
Basically, all the questions people ask you trying to dig deep into your psyche and history.
*record scratches*
*blinks twice*
Usually these are the moments where I start to slowly check out. The hardest moments are the ones where you realize you're actually in the middle of courting and something simple turned out to be incredibly complex.
76. "I agree about the outdoors/woods while wearing J Crew photos being" In response to Reply # 0
The worse and so staged and just ridiculous. I am sure couples look back at that and secretly shake their head in disappointment and regret.
My wife and I did our engagement photos at a brewery while drinking beer so it wasn't that bad. We didn't get all dressed up for it, she wore a dress and I wore jeans.
77. "Man. Pics. Hate might be a strong word but I hate this pic taking ish" In response to Reply # 0
....I dated a woman a year or so back and we hit it off pretty well. About a month in she invited me to a friend's birthday get together. I saw it as a chance to meet her friends etc. and was looking forward to it.
As soon as we get there and I'm making the rounds being introduced to everybody her bestie pulls out one of those dslr fancy cameras and tells me to pose with her friend. Like I'm in the middle of this get together and she has me on a photoshoot. I'm like "pose?" What is this a photo shoot? A few of her male friends laugh (very quietly) but the bestie and some other female friends were looking at me like " what the hell is his problem?" Told the friend straight up. I'm not on Facebook, my ig account is private and not into having my pictures all over the place like that. If you're planning to post this on social media, I'm not with it." Then she asks in front of everybody. "What. You're ashamed of being seen with my friend?" I rolled my eyes and excused myself and went for a drink. Got evil eyes for the rest of the night from photographer. Smh.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79574 posts
Tue Mar-08-16 08:44 AM
79. "LMAO... nigga came in with that dark cloud" In response to Reply # 77
I feel you but damn, I bet that tension was thick as hell.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
101. "Lol man. That whole night was crazy. Some work related drama...." In response to Reply # 79
Popped off for my date. She was on call that night, so I had to take her to work. So thankfully the night ended early. Lol. But yeah. It was a bit tense for a minute. Lol
83. "people analyzing texts" In response to Reply # 0
im not pouring my heart over text. sorry.
this guy is legit upset w/ me because he told me had a great time with me and i hit him with something less effusive but still nice and he's calling me cold
88. "second time in a row this is happening too" In response to Reply # 85 Tue Mar-08-16 10:00 AM by teefiveten
a guy sent me flowers and they were nice and they had eucalyptus in the arrangement and i was texting him about it b/c i love that shit and i was actually in the middle of a bad cold so i'm like 'that was a nice touch!'
and he hit me with some remark because i just didn't outright say i liked the flowers
91. "NO ONE BELIEVES ME THAT MEN ARE CRAZY!" In response to Reply # 89 Tue Mar-08-16 10:09 AM by teefiveten
lol. my stories aren't even on some scary shit it's just really petty/sensitive dudes
i won't act like i don't look at a text like 'what does that mean???' but then i realize they are words and i cannot glean anything from them other than what is written. i mean i "could" but that serves no one
94. "You sent him :) when he was expecting :D" In response to Reply # 83 Tue Mar-08-16 10:28 AM by flipnile
>this guy is legit upset w/ me because he told me had a great >time with me and i hit him with something less effusive but >still nice and he's calling me cold
99. "Overconfidence and being called thirsty." In response to Reply # 0
Her: *posts pic with see-through bra and boy shorts showing camel toe* Random dude: damn ma I wanna rub ma penus on dem tittys Her: lol boy u crazy Me: *basic compliment* Her: @ her friend, Ugh, niggas so thirsty these days smdh
105. "posing with balloons." In response to Reply # 0 Tue Mar-08-16 12:21 PM by bonamie
yo like how did this become a thing and why isnt it over yet why the hell are you posing with 5 red balloons or one huge balloon you're not 5 years old you look dumb and im not applauding that.
----------------------------------- we aint the two and i aint the one- lyte
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