In recognition of Valentine's day....how are all you married/common-law peeps keeping up intimacy in all it's forms?
My SO and I recently started doing jigsaw puzzles together. The big, hard ones. I've found it to be a great backdrop for conversation and is a great alternative to television. We put on some music and work on the puzzle while dropping in and out of conversations. It's been working really well for us. If there's a lapse in a conversation that doesn't have a backdrop like that....we end up flipping on a movie or something like that. The puzzle allows for the lull in conversation until it starts up again organically. Also...we do it on the floor and she looks sexy as hell while she's squatting or reaching/bending over to grab a piece.
We've been having minor problems with sex. Same old story....by the time the kids get to bed we're just kinda spent. Sometimes you gotta force it....just start even though you're tired and 5 minutes in you'll get a second wind. But we decided to get creative to find ways of having sex while we're still fresh.....we'll tell the kids we're cleaning the washroom....put on a tv show for them....turn on the tapwater and bang out a quickie.
I finally convinced my SO to shut the phone off once in awhile. Even if it's just for an hour or so. We're snuggling on the couch....whoever is messaging can wait. She was resistant at first but I put it like this......it's like a jenga castle. During intimate time you're building a castle block by block and gaining momentum. Every time you check the phone all the momentum comes to a stop and you have to start all over again. When I put it like that she saw my point.
We definitely have struggles in all of these areas. The one thing that we just started doing is scheduling date nights in advance. It was tough to start doing this because for YEARS when we were dating or married without kids we would be completely spontaneous - without kids you don't need "dates" you just do stuff when you want to do it. We would go on weekend trips at the drop of a hat, and definitely thought noting of going out together to spend time.
But with kids (especially after having the second) this is near impossible. We had been using babysitters but that would be tought to schedule. We ended up finding one great babysitter (who is actually a teacher's aid at my oldest's elementary school, and just keep her on "retainer". We are paying her a set amount for the month and have a certain amount of days available to use for dates. So we can just call her and set one up for an evening and be good.
We just started this last month, we'll see how it goes.
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