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Lobby General Discussion topic #12955995

Subject: "you did a buncha crazy shit in your day but now you're in a great space" Previous topic | Next topic
BigJazz
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24443 posts
Tue Jan-12-16 11:25 PM

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"Poll question: you did a buncha crazy shit in your day but now you're in a great space"


  

          

you tore some shit up back in the day. name a bad decision and you made it more than once.

every aspect of life. from drugs to sex to crime and much more, if there was dirt to be done you did it quite a few times.

in the current day, you're good. upper middle class and well respected. but back then, you grew up a fuckin screw up...

do you tell your kids those stories?

Poll result (9 votes)
i'm tellin my kids all those stories. they can learn from them like i did (4 votes)Vote
they can't do what i did cuz they're not me. i'm burying those stories (3 votes)Vote
other (2 votes)Vote

  

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
This is very relevant to me right now.
Jan 13th 2016
1
That's dope
Jan 13th 2016
11
If I have kids I'll tell them most all of it gradually eventually
Jan 13th 2016
2
I plan to tell my son everything
Jan 13th 2016
3
I drop hints/jewels on my oldest from time to time
Jan 13th 2016
4
nope, let em think im a square bear
Jan 13th 2016
5
He doesn't need ALL the details
Jan 13th 2016
6
absolutely not, but I'll impart the wisdom from my experiences
Jan 13th 2016
7
With my pops, it was all his drinking buddies who told me the stories.
Jan 13th 2016
8
to the grave fam...to.the.grave.
Jan 13th 2016
9
little bit of red, little bit of blue. i voted green.
Jan 13th 2016
10
disclose only if neccessary/helpful
Jan 13th 2016
12
the key is not to romanticise it
Jan 13th 2016
13
I don't know if there's a way to romanticize getting shot...
Jan 13th 2016
14
      you personalized that too much
Jan 13th 2016
15
           damn fam, sorry for your loss.
Jan 13th 2016
16
Red
Jan 14th 2016
17

denny
Member since Apr 11th 2008
11281 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 12:03 AM

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1. "This is very relevant to me right now."
In response to Reply # 0
Wed Jan-13-16 12:17 AM by denny

          

My stepdaughter is 17...her boyfriend is 18....my other daughter is 13.

For the most part....they're angels. My SD's boyfriend lives with us now because he's dad is a deadbeat and his mom kicked him out on his 18th birthday. (yah....no more child tax benefit and no more declaring him as a dependant). His mom is also hooked on oxycodone. So I've spoken with him in-depth about my oxycodone addiction. The goals I have in doing so:

1. To plant a seed for him to empathize with her in the future rather than judging her (which he understandably does)

2. To stress to him that there's no way in hell HE can help her with this.

Both him and my SD are straight-edge which is great. They are confounded and shocked when I talk about my past drug-use. I don't 'seem' like someone who has smoked crack. This helps with several points. Drug addicts need help, not judgement. I'm not perfect. You can change things about your life that you're not happy about. Lots of other reasons too. They don't hide things from me. And part of that is because I don't hide things from them.


I JUST started sharing stuff with my 13 year old. The big thing I try to imprint on her is that weed is relatively safe. Pills and powder are like playing Russian Roulette. I have started using anecdotes from my past for a couple reasons: To scare her, t o inform her and to encourage her to come see me about questions. Also, she will talk to me about stuff happening. She has a friend who's 14 and she's worried about his drug use. She has asked if she can invite him over so that I will talk to him. I LIKE being involved with this stuff. I want to know whats going on. I haven't yet completely opened up to her though. She doesn't know I've smoked crack, done heroin, been addicted to oxycodone. She will eventually though. When there's a reason for it.

  

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13Rose
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Wed Jan-13-16 10:34 AM

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11. "That's dope"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

You seem to have a good relationship with the younglings.

This post was paid for by the following.

www.twitter.com/13Rose
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Remember MJ The Great!
PSN: ThirteenRose

  

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veritas
Member since Sep 16th 2002
37200 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 12:11 AM

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2. "If I have kids I'll tell them most all of it gradually eventually"
In response to Reply # 0


          

My fam always hid their dirt. I think it made me a bit more rebellious.

I never heard my grandpa's story about putting his pistol in another airman's face until he was almost gone.

And he never told my old man.

It's a good story worth passing down. Our recklessness in youth is a big part of who we are and fuck it, take pride in your line stepping.

i still blame hip-hop.

  

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RobOne4
Member since Jun 06th 2003
56641 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 12:18 AM

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3. "I plan to tell my son everything"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

but gradually as he grows up and when it is relevant to his age and experiences.

November 8th, 2005 The greatest night in the history of GD!

  

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PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 03:28 AM

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4. "I drop hints/jewels on my oldest from time to time"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I did a LOT of shit back inna day... to the point where if my family and friends ever got together to compare notes about me I'd probably be considered a reformed menace to society.

My oldest is 21 and since 18 I've been droppin shit on her that surprises the hell out of her and fucks up her whole image of "mr straight laced computer nerd daddy". I don't tell everything but just enough to let her know "I've been there, seen that, and done more than you can imagine... just take my word on this..."

My 17 year old is getting a bit of it now, especially when I was waiting for a background check to come back for a job a few years ago and she overheard me talking to a couple of courthouses making sure the records were still sealed. She asked me about it and I hit her with "Daddy wasn't always on the right side of the law..." and left it at that.

One of my sisters came out this way last summer for her best friend's destination wedding and after a few drinks started tellin shit... Needless to say my wife didn't know about any of the shit I was involved in back then.

I had fun back then, lotta fond memories of them days, but I'm happy where I'm at now.

"I got a good life man, pounds and pence/Nuff dollars make sense, while you ride the bench
Catch me swinging for the fence/Dead Presidents, ya know..."

  

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Binlahab
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182925 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 05:35 AM

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5. "nope, let em think im a square bear"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

when i die if any of my homies are still around, they can regale the kids with tales of yesteryear on some my dad did WHAT?! shit

  

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bigkarma
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7859 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 08:00 AM

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6. "He doesn't need ALL the details"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I bring up anecdotes from my past as cautionary tales for my 11 year-old son. Right now they're real, real general, but as he gets older I have no problem going more in depth.

However, unless it's germane to the lesson I'm trying to teach, there's no reason to give all the details.

  

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atruhead
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85230 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 08:37 AM

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7. "absolutely not, but I'll impart the wisdom from my experiences"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

looking back I can see why my parents still bumped their heads while I was being raised (they had me at 23 and 30), but I plan to be able to do better in some ways

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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47455 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 09:34 AM

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8. "With my pops, it was all his drinking buddies who told me the stories. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Even had a nick name "Wild Man Pony".


I am sure it will be the same with me.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson

"what's a leader if he isn't reluctant"

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
44242 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 09:34 AM

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9. "to the grave fam...to.the.grave. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


"Get ready..for your blessing..."

  

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KiloMcG
Member since Jan 01st 2008
27495 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 09:38 AM

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10. "little bit of red, little bit of blue. i voted green."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

more stories will be shared as they get older and what i went through is relevant and appropriate to share. they will certainly not know everything, though.

  

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rdhull
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32814 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 05:15 PM

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12. "disclose only if neccessary/helpful"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Selah
Member since Jun 05th 2002
16484 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 05:26 PM

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13. "the key is not to romanticise it"
In response to Reply # 0


          

i see no reason to NOT be truthful, just don't do it on some "aw man, back in my day we had so much fun doing....." unless you want to make it sound like something THEY should try

  

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PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 06:46 PM

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14. "I don't know if there's a way to romanticize getting shot..."
In response to Reply # 13
Wed Jan-13-16 06:47 PM by PoppaGeorge

  

          

My middle daughter asked about a scar on my shoulder, I told her that was where I was grazed by a bullet, never went into detail about it. I can't see how the details about the events leading up to me running through niggas back yards off Warren ave and I96 with hot ones whizzin by could ever seem like "fun" to anyone.

---------------------------

"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

  

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Selah
Member since Jun 05th 2002
16484 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 06:52 PM

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15. "you personalized that too much"
In response to Reply # 14
Wed Jan-13-16 06:54 PM by Selah

          

beyond YOUR case, 50-cent made surviving getting shot seem like some kind of badge of honor

actually though, i was thinking more of my nephews

their dad (and his family) was into all kinda thuggery and crime for the majority of his life

i mean major prison time stuff

he told my nephews all kinda tales that essentially made it all look cool and him look like a hero (including, ironically based on your response, getting stabbed and shot)

one nephew followed in his footsteps, and we buried him on 12/18

  

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PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Wed Jan-13-16 11:00 PM

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16. "damn fam, sorry for your loss."
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

>beyond YOUR case, 50-cent made surviving getting shot seem
>like some kind of badge of honor

Nah b, go further back; Menace II Society made it cool. Caine got shot, recovered, and went back and killed the dudes that shot him and his cousin. Even the way them niggas got carjacked from that van was "adopted", if you will, by hood niggas.


>actually though, i was thinking more of my nephews
>
>their dad (and his family) was into all kinda thuggery and
>crime for the majority of his life
>
>i mean major prison time stuff

I got lucky, my moms was dating a fairly high powered, well connected lawyer at the time of my bullshit. I managed to avoid prison time thanks to pre-trial diversion in one case and a prosecutor being a golf buddy in another.


>he told my nephews all kinda tales that essentially made it
>all look cool and him look like a hero (including, ironically
>based on your response, getting stabbed and shot)

I stay tellin 'em what I did was stupid as shit, especially considering where I came from and who I was... I actually WAS the computer nerd, in college for computer science and everything.

>one nephew followed in his footsteps, and we buried him on
>12/18

That's fucked up. Our thought and prayers go out to you and your family.

---------------------------

"Where was the peace when we were getting shot? Where's the peace when we were getting laid out?
Where is the peace when we are in the back of ambulances? Where is the peace then?
They don't want to call for peace then.

  

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KnowOne
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39834 posts
Thu Jan-14-16 08:49 AM

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17. "Red"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

nm

_________________________________________
"Too weird to live.... too rare to die..."

PS+ ID: KnowOne215 | XBL GamerTag: KnowOne 215

  

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