"ya'll really still don't understand what "nice guy" is"
(I'm just babbling though)
it doesn't equal timid and there is no such thing at least in my eyes people are more complex than just asshole or "nice guy"
there is such a thing as a introverts and extroverts and a mix of both.
Those who claim they are "nice guys" probably are not really.
It's better to be self aware and that takes time and self evaluation as you progress in life. and be honest with folks you are dealing with. this can be done without being vulgar.
and you don't need to be an asshole to get what you want and playing the nice guy card is disingenuous just be you.
Atillah Moor Member since Sep 05th 2013 13825 posts
Thu Oct-22-15 10:52 AM
1. "most 'nice guys' are 'trying' to be nice and 'trying' to be anything fai..." In response to Reply # 0
If you are genuinely nice then that will be genuinely received, but the guys who try to be nice reek of desperation and this is what women and people in general react negatively to. Like the OP says be yourself whatever that is and work with it.
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Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days
Atillah Moor Member since Sep 05th 2013 13825 posts
Thu Oct-22-15 12:52 PM
17. "most of us men IMO are generally not nice to varying degress" In response to Reply # 3
we can be nice and we can act nice, but we are not nice bu default. I base this belief on how I see men act and behave in general -- and when it comes to women I think it's more the case as we seem to use nice as an approach to get what we want i.e. sex, a look at the goods, etc.
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Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days
23. "my experience has been way diff." In response to Reply # 17
I've seen guys act nice too, but I've also seen a bunch of dudes that I believed are sincerely nice all the time. a lot of times the nice guy will be the one I thought would be an asshole.
Atillah Moor Member since Sep 05th 2013 13825 posts
Thu Oct-22-15 03:56 PM
24. "Okay, but that also sounds like nice once they got to know you." In response to Reply # 23
Which a lot of people tend to be in some form or another. I guess I measure being truly nice by how it's applied. Is one nice consistently and nice to those who they know as well as don't know?
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Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days
25. "hard to have a real answer to this." In response to Reply # 24
>Which a lot of people tend to be in some form or another. I >guess I measure being truly nice by how it's applied. Is one >nice consistently and nice to those who they know as well as >don't know?
every meeting is diff. I mean I aint out looking for dudes, but I normally don't expect most to be assholes. generally folks are nice upon the my first encounter. I feel like that's most people in general. once you get to know folks, of course you'll see some not so nice parts of their personality.
6. "The "nice guy" is typically just as shallow and scheming as the "bad boy..." In response to Reply # 4
There's always the "nice guy" who pines for some girl far more attractive than his stature would generally pull, and goshdarnit, if she could only see what's right in front of her and ditch the losers she continues to fawn over, she'd find her prince charming in his warm, open arms.
From what I've seen, "nice guy" is typically just another game tactic.
-Sig-
“Why didn’t you do this in your own god damn country?"
-All Stah's view on undocumented immigrants wanting to be treated like human beings.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Thu Oct-22-15 12:00 PM
7. "RE: ''Saying that you’re a nice guy is like..." In response to Reply # 4
> >these ralph tresvant post are killin me!
...a man like ME!!!
LMAO
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
Will always have a negative connotation. To me, nice means Can be taken advantage of. I rather be good than nice any day. The nice guy is the guy that gets friendzoned.
time is money, money is time so i keep 7 o'clock in the bank and gain interest in the hour of God I'm saving to buy my freedom, God, grant me wings, I'm too fly not to fly _ Saul Williams
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Thu Oct-22-15 12:01 PM
8. "Blind date: what does she look like?.... she's NICE" In response to Reply # 5
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
9. "Your definition of a nice guy doesn't really matter tho" In response to Reply # 0
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
12. "of course people are more complex than just "asshole" or "nice guy"" In response to Reply # 0
but it's the "nice guys" that gotta stop invoking the duality.
i hear a lot more "nice guys" claiming "i'd be perfect for her but she wants to date assholes" than the other way around.
gotta stop that shit.
basically lame guys that want to blame a world gone wrong for their difficulties with their social agenda instead of taking some ownership of their actions and exploring what they're doing or not doing that fails to appeal to the women they find appealing.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
16. "him: whatever you want honey" In response to Reply # 13
her: your friend him: ok, here's his number.
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
21. "thats everything on okp." In response to Reply # 20
-The Knicks’ coaching search still includes a lone frontrunner, Kurt Rambis, whose qualifications for the position include a strong relationship with Jackson and a willingness to take the job.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Fri Oct-23-15 08:40 AM
29. "probably because most people aren't too nice" In response to Reply # 28
so it raises are suspicion
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Fri Oct-23-15 02:04 PM
42. "well for me, too nice was followed by some shady dealings" In response to Reply # 31
a woman telling me everything I wanted to hear before asking for something outlandish like all my money.
a manager on tour trying to get me to sign a contract after telling me how awesome I was and how the record spoke to him...
too nice is when someone tries to get you to let your guard down and then running game on you.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
45. "That doesn't sound nice" In response to Reply # 42
I would consider the people you described as not being nice. What you described is someone who is nicesty(nice but shysty). I can agree with people being shysters who puts on the facade as a nice person.
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Fri Oct-23-15 08:28 PM
53. "True... but thats my idea of too nice..." In response to Reply # 45
when it doesnt seem genuine
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
legsdiamond Member since May 05th 2011 79560 posts
Fri Oct-23-15 01:37 PM
35. "I NICELY asked her to revise her post and she ignored me...lol" In response to Reply # 0
and she ran all up and down the post talking shit to what she described as a "creepy" guy.
this is why some dudes aren't nice... nice gets ignored far too often.
**************** TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*
40. "women want excitement, dawg." In response to Reply # 0
adventure. good times. cyndi lauper kept it 100.
bad boys and "assholes" and such get play because they are unpredictable. that nice shit is boring, you know what you getting 100% of the time. yawn. imagine marrying a dude like that and getting "yes honey" for 40+ years? ugggh. i'm not a woman but i can imagine how dull that must be.
i'm empathetic and respectful but never boring. A man can't be "nice" if he wants to be successful in a lot of areas, not just romantically. It's a cold world and sometimes the wolf must come out.
------------------------------- If life is stupendous one cannot also demand that it should be easy. - Robert Musil
52. "No matter what you think about us" In response to Reply # 0
No matter what you say about us No matter your doubts or disbelief in out intentions....
We'll still be nice to you.
But really, there is a difference between a pushover and a nice person. A pushover probably needs to learn to be assertive and understand that with a limited few, most people want to respect them.
More than anything nice people want to be noticed for their qualities and strengths, but like Veritas said, nice people aren't owed anything by others for being nice except a basic human respect.
The poster who said that nice guys are boring and that's true for me in some respects, but it seems easier for a nice guy to dial up their fun level than for a person who isn't considerate to learn emotions sensitivity.
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