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Lobby General Discussion topic #12907031

Subject: "What would you do?" Previous topic | Next topic
Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35074 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:27 AM

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"Poll question: What would you do?"


          

A family member (or friend) you haven't spoken to in a long time (who you have no negative history with) is in the hospital and you KNOW that if you call them, the first thing they gonna say is:

"Oh so i guess i have to be in the hospital to hear from you!"

what you gonna do?

Poll result (20 votes)
Call anyway and take the lecture (13 votes)Vote
Not call...don't feel like hearing that shit (2 votes)Vote
Call but pre-empt the lecture somehow (1 votes)Vote
not call but send flowers (or something) (4 votes)Vote
other (0 votes)Vote

  

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
nothing matters and we are all going to die. call them.
Oct 05th 2015
1
he'd likely be a mess afterwards regardless -- sounds like a lose lose
Oct 05th 2015
20
      Agreed. Some things can't be unheard.
Oct 05th 2015
24
You HAVE to call...
Oct 05th 2015
2
no i'm good. i talk to my mom all the time
Oct 05th 2015
6
My older sister be on that shit, knowing damn well she got a phone too
Oct 05th 2015
3
lol you know?
Oct 05th 2015
8
I call... some people are wired funny
Oct 05th 2015
4
my default reply is "phones work both ways"
Oct 05th 2015
5
ah yes..that's a perfect response
Oct 05th 2015
7
^^^^^even though I really dont be callin lol
Oct 05th 2015
12
i used to say that to my grandmother (RIP).
Oct 05th 2015
17
      I get this with parents/grandparents but fuck any sibling on that
Oct 05th 2015
22
green
Oct 05th 2015
9
I would respond...
Oct 05th 2015
10
Call - I dont let those lectures get into my spirit
Oct 05th 2015
11
how bad off is she in the hospital?
Oct 05th 2015
13
If I were feeling some type of way once I found out they were sick I'd.....
Oct 05th 2015
14
I'm the exact opposite, the older i get, the easier it is to shrug comme...
Oct 05th 2015
15
My response: "At least I didn't wait until the seance."
Oct 05th 2015
16
i like that. LOL
Oct 05th 2015
18
I'm stealing this.
Oct 05th 2015
19
Yellow, you should face to face if you're trying to resolve something
Oct 05th 2015
21
"look, Im just calling to make sure you're okay"
Oct 05th 2015
23
Call anyway, take the lecture
Oct 05th 2015
25

double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21767 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:31 AM

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1. "nothing matters and we are all going to die. call them. "
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Oct-05-15 11:32 AM by double negative

  

          

a friend lost his mother recently. they fought, she called him something along the lines of a "f*ggot asshole" so he never called he when she went to the hospital. she died very quickly after without resolving anything and hes all fucked up it.

so.....call

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:25 PM

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20. "he'd likely be a mess afterwards regardless -- sounds like a lose lose "
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

  

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Moonlit_Force
Member since Oct 10th 2005
8643 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:32 PM

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24. "Agreed. Some things can't be unheard."
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

  

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Af-1
Member since Apr 22nd 2008
3432 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:32 AM

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2. "You HAVE to call..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Apart from them being in hospital, why haven't they called you? What's the expectation for you to have called?

-----
Check me out, say hi...
Visit our soul/jazz/funk internet radio station, Blue-in-Green:RADIO: http://www.blueingreenradio.com/
https://www.mixcloud.com/Blue_in_Green_Sessions/
http://soundcloud.com/user305437292

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35074 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:37 AM

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6. "no i'm good. i talk to my mom all the time"
In response to Reply # 2


          

it's various other family members that hardly call her that are getting the business over the phone LOL

and it's kinda funny...they are calling me like "um she's kinda cranky"

what you expect? she's in the hospital! i'd be cranky too

d

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:33 AM

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3. "My older sister be on that shit, knowing damn well she got a phone too"
In response to Reply # 0


          

they never text or call you, but be all up in their feelings that YOU didn't reach out.

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35074 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:40 AM

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8. "lol you know?"
In response to Reply # 3
Mon Oct-05-15 11:40 AM by Damali

          

.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69223 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:35 AM

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4. "I call... some people are wired funny"
In response to Reply # 0


          

and always have some shit to say when you call...

but that isn't my problem.

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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southphillyman
Member since Oct 22nd 2003
90059 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:36 AM

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5. "my default reply is "phones work both ways""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i recently went to a wedding where the first thing the person who invited me said to me was "hello stranger"
i haven't heard from them since......
not even to say thank you for the gift i gave

~~~~~~

  

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Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35074 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:39 AM

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7. "ah yes..that's a perfect response"
In response to Reply # 5


          

>i recently went to a wedding where the first thing the person
>who invited me said to me was "hello stranger"

ugh..i've said that a few times...imma stop tho cuz it does come off very judge-y

>i haven't heard from them since......
>not even to say thank you for the gift i gave

ok now that's foul

  

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rdhull
Charter member
32156 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:47 AM

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12. "^^^^^even though I really dont be callin lol"
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

even though I really dont be callin lol

  

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:13 PM

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17. "i used to say that to my grandmother (RIP)."
In response to Reply # 5


  

          

i now understand that she didn't want to speak w/me as much as she wanted ME to call HER. b/c by calling her i'd signal to her that she holds some importance in my life as evidenced by my willingness to take time out of my (assumedly busy) schedule to call her.

b/c if she just wanted to talk to me she would've called. if she wanted to know what's going w/me she can get that info from my mother. that's not what she meant when she complained that i never called. i didn't get it then but i get it now. and i'm trying to be better about this issue w/my remaining relatives. but i'm still not great about it. lol

fuck you.

  

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John Forte
Member since Feb 22nd 2013
15330 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:29 PM

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22. "I get this with parents/grandparents but fuck any sibling on that"
In response to Reply # 17


          

  

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SooperEgo
Charter member
11338 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:40 AM

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9. "green"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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BabyYoda
Member since Feb 15th 2012
3176 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:41 AM

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10. "I would respond..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

However, it would depend who the person is as well as our relationship with each other. I will take the lecture from an older relative, but would say something g snarky back to someone within my peer group.

Communication is a 2 way street. The person should be appreciative that he or she got a phone call from anyone, whether it is due to a dire situation or not.

  

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soken
Member since Aug 31st 2009
763 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:45 AM

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11. "Call - I dont let those lectures get into my spirit"
In response to Reply # 0


          

"so I have to be in the hospital for you to call?"

You - "Yea but not really *insert joke*, but glad you well. stayed blessed."

we keep it moving,

  

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Big Kuntry
Member since May 09th 2010
14866 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 11:49 AM

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13. "how bad off is she in the hospital?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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Moonlit_Force
Member since Oct 10th 2005
8643 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 12:09 PM

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14. "If I were feeling some type of way once I found out they were sick I'd....."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

... just send flowers and a "thinking of you and hoping for a speedy recovery" card.

The older I get, the less patient I am with familial passive aggressiveness.

  

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legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
69223 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 12:52 PM

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15. "I'm the exact opposite, the older i get, the easier it is to shrug comme..."
In response to Reply # 14


          

and jabs from people.

I grew up in a family that was judgey and filled with shit talkers. If they don't talk shit o,ecrack a joke I wonder if they are mad at me or going through something.

my best friends mom was giving a speech and said... "if I don't joke with you or less with you, it's cause I don't mess with you"

****************
TBH the fact that you're even a mod here fits squarely within Jag's narrative of OK-sanctioned aggression, bullying, and toxicity. *shrug*

  

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FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43452 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:06 PM

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16. "My response: "At least I didn't wait until the seance.""
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


"Get ready..for your blessing..."

  

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SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:13 PM

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18. "i like that. LOL"
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

fuck you.

  

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Moonlit_Force
Member since Oct 10th 2005
8643 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:13 PM

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19. "I'm stealing this."
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

  

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Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:26 PM

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21. "Yellow, you should face to face if you're trying to resolve something "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

  

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atruhead
Charter member
84982 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:31 PM

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23. ""look, Im just calling to make sure you're okay""
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Oct-05-15 01:32 PM by atruhead

  

          

.

  

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dustin
Member since Feb 21st 2004
3984 posts
Mon Oct-05-15 01:37 PM

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25. "Call anyway, take the lecture"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Hospitals can really mess with your head when you're in there. All the death and disease in the air. You need fam around you.

And cause you don't wanna regret not calling later

  

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