"I need literature to help teen girls' self esteem..."
this is a serious inquiry. this school year i've had 3 female students get in trouble for sending nudes to male students. it was humbling that they trusted me and felt comfortable telling me their stories.
but instead of just saying the same old "respect your body...you can always say no" stuff, i'd like to fwd them to literature written by women that's appropriate for high school aged girls.
the other day a teacher left her classroom with me and a female student. she closed the door behind us. i immediately opened the door and educated the female student that you should never be alone behind closed doors with a male teacher. i told her you can always open the door for air
"what if he closes the door?"
"just tell the teacher you have to go home because your parents told you to go home."
2. "Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston" In response to Reply # 0
I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood by bell hooks Don't Give It Away! by Iyanla Vanzant (its more of a workbook, which actually might be helpful) The Summer We Got Free by Mia McKenzie Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
5. "thank you. i know you care about this stuff." In response to Reply # 2
>I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou >Bone Black: Memories of Girlhood by bell hooks >Don't Give It Away! by Iyanla Vanzant (its more of a workbook, >which actually might be helpful) >The Summer We Got Free by Mia McKenzie >Purple Hibiscus by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
i still remember you correcting my derogatory language in here, which i also appreciate. i chatted with my high school counselor friend last night. she described "sexting" among teens as an epidemic. she mentioned that snapchat was blocked at her school because of group sex videos being filmed in the bathroom. that's the first step i'm going to take: talking to the proper school staff about blocking the app from our wifi network. then i'll research your suggestions.
it's a very awkward subject to discuss with students. i need professional literature.
7. "i truly do. I try to be the woman that my younger self needed." In response to Reply # 5
>i still remember you correcting my derogatory language in >here, which i also appreciate. i chatted with my high school >counselor friend last night. she described "sexting" among >teens as an epidemic. she mentioned that snapchat was blocked >at her school because of group sex videos being filmed in the >bathroom. that's the first step i'm going to take: talking >to the proper school staff about blocking the app from our >wifi network. then i'll research your suggestions. > >it's a very awkward subject to discuss with students. i need >professional literature.
it just make me happy to know you care so much about being a great educator in every way.
8. "Are they black? social class? reading level?" In response to Reply # 0
For some reason, people love to throw books at the problem. why not let the girls express their sexuality in a healthy way. Like take them to a belly dance, sexy dance, twerk class. Make them value their bodies versus having a book preach to them about pushing those feelings away.
Most of hte books mentioned are so academic and subjective.
I would recommend Sister Soldjah's book No Disrespect and The Coldest Winter Ever. They are realistic and those characters reflected deep seated issues that lower class black women go through.
Show them some movies about black female sexuality: Girl on the IRT Kids Pariah Bessie Girlfight
They are showing nudes because it is stimulating, not because they don't love themselves.
10. "Mexican freshman from working class families" In response to Reply # 8
>For some reason, people love to throw books at the problem. >why not let the girls express their sexuality in a healthy >way. Like take them to a belly dance, sexy dance, twerk class. >Make them value their bodies versus having a book preach to >them about pushing those feelings away.
I'm a man that works at a mainstream high school. None of my supes would give me the approval, even if I had a female coworker be the face of the program. > >Most of hte books mentioned are so academic and subjective.
It has to be academic cuz I work at a high school. I'm just trying to plant seeds. > >I would recommend Sister Soldjah's book No Disrespect and The >Coldest Winter Ever. They are realistic and those characters >reflected deep seated issues that lower class black women go >through. > >Show them some movies about black female sexuality: >Girl on the IRT >Kids >Pariah >Bessie >Girlfight > >They are showing nudes because it is stimulating, not because >they don't love themselves.
See this is where women'a perspective helps. They told me boys kept on asking for them so they gave in. I'm like "you can always say know. U don't need another person to validate u." And being a man, I can't really comment on their looks or body.
I'm trying to do things that most men & even some women don't wanna do.
>For some reason, people love to throw books at the problem. >why not let the girls express their sexuality in a healthy >way. Like take them to a belly dance, sexy dance, twerk class. >Make them value their bodies versus having a book preach to >them about pushing those feelings away. > >Most of hte books mentioned are so academic and subjective. > >I would recommend Sister Soldjah's book No Disrespect and The >Coldest Winter Ever. They are realistic and those characters >reflected deep seated issues that lower class black women go >through. > >Show them some movies about black female sexuality: >Girl on the IRT >Kids >Pariah >Bessie >Girlfight > >They are showing nudes because it is stimulating, not because >they don't love themselves. >
22. "I'm glad you said this:" In response to Reply # 8 Fri Oct-02-15 03:03 PM by denny
They are showing nudes because it is stimulating, not because they don't love themselves.
It's not a popular thing to say but it's absolutely applicable for some cases. THese incidents need not be a result of a low self-esteem. Trying to categorize them all as such will just shut out some young people. Picture being a sexually awakened 14 year old girl....masterbating regularly....who gets off on showing boys her nude pics. All of that is perfectly understandable and 'normal'. Telling her that she 'needs to love herself' might be the quickest way to discourage her from talking. Her inner dialogue might be 'I DO love myself biyatch. I also love sharing nudes with my boyfriend."
I think we can be too quick in denying young people of their sexuality. Me and my SO exchange nudes sometimes. We're in our late 30's. Is that a product of our low self-esteems? No. We're playing around. Kid's sexuality is often just as legitimate and real as ours is as adults. That thought scares the shit outta us. Like my pop's always rightfully said.....They have adult needs without adult means.
It's obviously a case by case basis. But I think it's important to acknowledge the legitimacy of a young person's sexuality when attempting to talk to them about this stuff. Sometimes we use the issue of self-esteem in a roundabout way to deny their sexuality.
18. "RE: How comfortable are you with approaching the student's parents?" In response to Reply # 11
not comfortable unless I know the parents outside of work. the school adimins spoke to the students' parents about their situation.
the girls are comfortable talking to me about their situations, but i still need to maintain a professional relationship with students. i'd rather fwd them to literature on the subject matter written by women instead of being a "big brother" or "uncle" to them, talking out my ass about my personal experiences or other friends' experiences.
12. "There's a book called Queen Bees and Wannabees" In response to Reply # 0
The subtitle is "Helping your teenage daughter survive cliques, gossip, boyfriends, and the new realities of Girl World"
It's written for parents (and anyone really) on how to understand the range of issues/experiences that young girls go through from things like their appearance, friendships, peer pressure, etc. It's a pretty easy and interesting read.
edit: i also saw this list yesterday .... the comments indicate there are some questionable books on the list but still worth going through to see if anything resonates
the key to happiness is not being rich; it's doing something arduous and creating something of value and then being able to reflect on the fruits of your labor
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