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Subject: "(help) How did you improve yourself in your 30s?" Previous topic | Next topic
shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
4465 posts
Tue May-19-15 01:59 PM

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"(help) How did you improve yourself in your 30s?"


  

          

If you improved in your 30s...

Input especially valued from people who had troublesome 20s.

What did you do to make things go better? What areas was it that you worked on? Finance / Career. Personal / Personality. Family?

(Asking bc I have a lot of work to do, and its Tuesday, and its two days before my period, and I'm losing my shit)


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
i got a part time job
May 19th 2015
1
i like this
May 19th 2015
8
I won't say improve
May 19th 2015
2
i feel like in just one year my 30s have been a vast improvement
May 19th 2015
3
i feel the same
May 19th 2015
7
i got a wife and some kids and it stopped being about me
May 19th 2015
4
i worked on my career.
May 19th 2015
5
simplify
May 19th 2015
6
stopped chiefin..hit the gym..career wise finally played the game
May 19th 2015
9
Identify the areas you'd like to change
May 19th 2015
10
yes, i need to do a lot of research.
May 19th 2015
11
realistic small goals & stepping outside of my comfort zone
May 19th 2015
12
what was the change that you were looking for that led you to join the s...
May 19th 2015
13
      i was in auto pilot at the job. wasn't learning or being challenged
May 19th 2015
14
I became a morning person.
May 19th 2015
15
this is such an underrated thing
May 19th 2015
22
it really gets the ball rolling FOR REAL
May 20th 2015
26
      For real, for real - getting shit done in the morning is a game changer
May 20th 2015
29
^^ this.
May 20th 2015
30
RE: I became a morning person.
May 20th 2015
32
I was talking about it yesterday, I don't think it's in my DNA at all
May 21st 2015
37
      its not for me either, but, being broke was depressing
May 21st 2015
38
three things
May 19th 2015
16
I JUST hit 30. But tried to make a lot of changes leading to it.
May 19th 2015
17
I'm trying to count my blessings
May 19th 2015
18
lost weight
May 19th 2015
19
realized that life's too short to abide a lot of folks BS
May 19th 2015
20
Just prior to my 30s, I moved to a new city that better fit my needs
May 19th 2015
21
completely rebooted my career and added like 6 marketable skills
May 19th 2015
23
Became responsible
May 19th 2015
24
Got a MBA, Married and Kids
May 19th 2015
25
RE: Got a MBA, Married and Kids
May 20th 2015
33
I wish I started being health conscious earlier in my 30s.
May 20th 2015
27
Enlisted in the Navy, got married, and left my hometown
May 20th 2015
28
Started lifting.
May 20th 2015
31
You get back what you put out
May 20th 2015
34
this was before the recession
May 21st 2015
35
I got really serious in two major areas: health and finance
May 21st 2015
36

MrThomas43423
Member since Jul 03rd 2002
67613 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:04 PM

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1. "i got a part time job"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and i actually have to work harder there than i do at my full time job. white collar vs. service industry. it felt good to work hard tho. and it opened my social life up. very few people get a new crew at 30, but i kinda did.
---------------------------------------
it's true what they say...people are strange, when you're strangers.

not compassionate....only polite.

I am not like you at all and i cannot pretend.

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
4465 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:12 PM

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8. "i like this"
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

i really need all these things. More friends in my life (I'm doing sorta better with this lately, but so much more to do). More money. More physicality in my work.


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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JellyBean
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Tue May-19-15 02:05 PM

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2. "I won't say improve"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I just made some adjustments. but as people we should constantly strive to make improvements in our lives.


but I'm tired and I can't focus on doing annnnnny work right now....

"Holier than thou never sits well with me."(c)janey

"OKP spends way too much time looking for ways to be offended." ~legsdiamond


http://twitter.com/jeleighbean

  

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blackrussian
Member since Oct 17th 2010
6498 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:06 PM

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3. "i feel like in just one year my 30s have been a vast improvement"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

on my 20s. like, i could erase most of that decade & it would make utterly no difference.

anyway, i have a long way to go but so far:
1. education
2. purposeful career choices
3. being more responsible financially

ugh how dull it al sounds! lol

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
4465 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:11 PM

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7. "i feel the same"
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

like, i could erase most of that decade & it would
>make utterly no difference.
>

>
>ugh how dull it al sounds! lol

it doesn't sound dull! congrats on your progress.


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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Selah
Member since Jun 05th 2002
16484 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:09 PM

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4. "i got a wife and some kids and it stopped being about me"
In response to Reply # 0


          

  

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SoWhat
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Tue May-19-15 02:10 PM

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5. "i worked on my career."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

specifically i graduated from law school, passed the Bar exam and found work as a lawyer.

i also worked on my family situation by applying things i'd learned in talk therapy.

fuck you.

  

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teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:10 PM

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6. "simplify"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

cut out people and things that don't matter

don't be lame about it either. just quietly move away from folks. don't make some major announcement. most of the time those people won't notice or care anyway so it's all good

think about what you care about most-what you like to do especially. figure out ways to maximize the amount of time doing those things.

i'm still working on things but simplifying is helping tremendously.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

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ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:18 PM

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9. "stopped chiefin..hit the gym..career wise finally played the game"
In response to Reply # 0
Tue May-19-15 02:18 PM by ambient1

  

          

to a certain extent...still workin on that...but it paid off $ wise
-stopped worrying about findin 'her'
-learned more about my parents...helped me put more things into perspective
-prayed more...got into the bible more
-kept being me

i did start chiefin again tho...hasn't slowed me down at all

=======================================
Coolin...

  

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spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
44257 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:21 PM

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10. "Identify the areas you'd like to change"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

research,
make a plan
then, 'lay the bricks'

As with most everything else in life, the answer is usually more about consistency than facility.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
4465 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:30 PM

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11. "yes, i need to do a lot of research."
In response to Reply # 10


  

          

i thought i'd found a career path that i wanted to follow, but this past year, after a couple of job changes, i've found that i've pretty much lost interest in what i'm doing.

i guess i need to go back to school, but that didn't go too well the first time around.

>research,
>make a plan
>then, 'lay the bricks'
>
>As with most everything else in life, the answer is usually
>more about consistency than facility.


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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nayaa
Member since Oct 06th 2009
20190 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:32 PM

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12. "realistic small goals & stepping outside of my comfort zone"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

for me, that meant quitting a stable and well-paying job to join a startup. my career needed a jolt, and it got it BIG time.

~
IG: @fireysky

  

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shamus
Member since Oct 18th 2004
4465 posts
Tue May-19-15 02:39 PM

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13. "what was the change that you were looking for that led you to join the s..."
In response to Reply # 12
Tue May-19-15 02:40 PM by shamus

  

          

start up?


--
the untold want by life and land ne'er granted
now voyager sail thou forth to seek and find

  

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nayaa
Member since Oct 06th 2009
20190 posts
Tue May-19-15 03:30 PM

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14. "i was in auto pilot at the job. wasn't learning or being challenged"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

my writing got rusty and i wasn't thinking strategically anymore. became a glorified paper pusher.

i felt i was too young for such complacency and joined the start up because i knew working on consulting would make me razor sharp, quick. it was sink or swim.

the first few months were ROUGH. kind of like a detox lol. but after a while the writing came easier, i was more creative and could think on my feet again.

don't know how long this will last, but every day i learn something. and i'm grateful.

~
IG: @fireysky

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts
Tue May-19-15 04:53 PM

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15. "I became a morning person. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

i mean, i have a very long list of to-dos i could cite

but

really, just becoming a morning person changed so much

when you go to bed early and you get up early you are recharging your batteries
then when you get up early you have a whole fucking day to do EVERYTHING

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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GirlChild
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Tue May-19-15 07:53 PM

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22. "this is such an underrated thing"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

having a child makes me get up earlier than i ever have and man, i can get so much more done

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts
Wed May-20-15 12:02 PM

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26. "it really gets the ball rolling FOR REAL"
In response to Reply # 22


  

          

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
44257 posts
Wed May-20-15 01:34 PM

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29. "For real, for real - getting shit done in the morning is a game changer"
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

I actually get MORE shit done, and am less prone to procrastination. Also, it's more effective. WAY more ppl try to handled biz at lunch or after work.

********************************

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt

"You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do!" - Olin Miller

  

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Sha
Member since Mar 25th 2004
68452 posts
Wed May-20-15 01:39 PM

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30. "^^ this. "
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

.

  

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RaphaelSoulLee
Member since May 21st 2003
3765 posts
Wed May-20-15 01:43 PM

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32. "RE: I became a morning person. "
In response to Reply # 15


          

If I can achieve THIS...Lawd knows...!!

#fixitJesus

It takes all kinds to make up a world, son. -My pops

I just live for the comments -Da wiz

  

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-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
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Thu May-21-15 12:10 PM

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37. "I was talking about it yesterday, I don't think it's in my DNA at all"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

Saturday, I woke up relatively early around 10, which is EARLY for me on a Sat. Yet by 3PM, I was burnt out and wanted a nap!

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

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double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts
Thu May-21-15 12:19 PM

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38. "its not for me either, but, being broke was depressing"
In response to Reply # 37


  

          

ive learned how to manipulate myself into changing base behavior

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

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janey
Charter member
123124 posts
Tue May-19-15 05:53 PM

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16. "three things"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

1. Went to law school
2. Got divorced
3. Had a LOT of sex.


~ ~ ~
All meetings end in separation
All acquisition ends in dispersion
All life ends in death
- The Buddha

|\_/|
='_'=

Every hundred years, all new people

  

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-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
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Tue May-19-15 05:57 PM

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17. "I JUST hit 30. But tried to make a lot of changes leading to it."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

-Saving money in even more ways. I got to a point that I felt I worked and had enough money to always have the best hotel, or to upgrade to the biggest TV just because I wanted it. Now, it's much more about priorities, even though I don't have to worry about kids or anything else

-Working out way more, and much more healthy diet. And not solely working out for "mirror muscles" but for long term benefits

-Ignoring certain things. Especially on social media, even on OKP. Some things aren't worth a response at all, and can drain you mentally.

-No video games unless it's social. I realized I really don't have ANY free time to do anything random. Even if I'm watching TV, I can fold clothes or something productive.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

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atruhead
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Tue May-19-15 06:10 PM

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18. "I'm trying to count my blessings"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I need to be way more disciplined and focused though

  

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GirlChild
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56000 posts
Tue May-19-15 06:14 PM

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19. "lost weight"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

actively pursued my drea/career
pushed myself to do things that scared me

  

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PG
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Tue May-19-15 06:22 PM

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20. "realized that life's too short to abide a lot of folks BS"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

defined the boundaries of what kind of behavior I will accept from people in the various relationships of my life.

  

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Goldmind
Member since Oct 28th 2004
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Tue May-19-15 07:14 PM

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21. "Just prior to my 30s, I moved to a new city that better fit my needs"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Some of those "needs" were wants, but whatever lol, I moved to be happy with my career options and social life. That wise decision, and the job that eventually came with it, changed the game for me and set me onto a positive trajectory in my 30s.

Other things that have improved my life:
-Learning how to apply every breath I take toward achieving a goal

-Accepting that being in a relationship isn't everything, and that it certainly isn't a viable strategy for happiness

-Divesting people who don't contribute anything positive to my life (or better yet, not giving them any play in the first place)

-Spending more time on things and with people that matter

-Saving and investing money

-Seeking out new and exciting experiences rather than things









  

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kayru99
Member since Jan 26th 2004
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Tue May-19-15 08:04 PM

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23. "completely rebooted my career and added like 6 marketable skills"
In response to Reply # 0


          

Took advantage of a few changes in some industries I've been in for years to make some loot

Stopped undervaluing my skill sets

Cut off mufuckas who brought only negativity to my life

Trusted myself more.

My twenties were fuuuuucked up, more due to self doubt than anything else.

Trusting my own intuition was huge

  

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JiggysMyDayJob
Member since Jul 03rd 2002
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Tue May-19-15 08:32 PM

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24. "Became responsible "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I paid off all those bills and bad credit items that I just let sit there and let damage my financial future. Started saving and spending wisely.

Therapy: I wasn't in a happy place in my mid 20's and let that spiral in to a deep depression after a bad break up. I ignored it up until I hit 30 and then started going to therapy to help straighten out my life.

Became more selfish, I basically started following my goals and not being such a big push over for other people.

Cut loose people who weren't making a positive impact in my life.

sometimes u gotta leave ur inner nigger in the bank vault. - desus

Situation Podemy : www.situationpodemy.wordpress.com
itunes:https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/situation-podemy/id620232249
facebook: facebook.com/situationpodemy
@SituationPodemy

  

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HoneyBrown
Member since Feb 06th 2003
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Tue May-19-15 09:55 PM

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25. "Got a MBA, Married and Kids"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

  

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RaphaelSoulLee
Member since May 21st 2003
3765 posts
Wed May-20-15 01:48 PM

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33. "RE: Got a MBA, Married and Kids"
In response to Reply # 25


          

Yup...this ^^

It takes all kinds to make up a world, son. -My pops

I just live for the comments -Da wiz

  

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Buddy_Gilapagos
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Wed May-20-15 01:08 PM

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27. "I wish I started being health conscious earlier in my 30s. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Unless you were raised to do it, a smart person reaches a person where they realize that they have to start being more conscious of what they eat and how they live. Many of us start to late which makes it harder.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

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j.
Member since Feb 24th 2009
3819 posts
Wed May-20-15 01:09 PM

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28. "Enlisted in the Navy, got married, and left my hometown"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

My 20's are a blur of clubs, parties, and broads
I was burnt out at 28 and with nothing to show for it
at 30 I was like fuck this shit, and enlisted
being surrounded by a bunch of just out of HS kids put everything in perspective
I grinded, saved money, and got out
got married while I was in, and while it ultimately didn't work out, it gave me something to strive for other than my selfish pleasures
and leaving my comfort zone was crucial. Living on the other side of the country plus 2 deployments showed me who my real friends were. When I was the man about town I had tons of "friends" but when I came back after the Navy I could count them on one hand.

  

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Binlahab
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Wed May-20-15 01:41 PM

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31. "Started lifting."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Done wonders for my health, physically, mentally & emotionally


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

  

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Big Kuntry
Member since May 09th 2010
14866 posts
Wed May-20-15 02:55 PM

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34. "You get back what you put out"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Karma & having a positive mental attitude is real.

Always project positivity and allow it to work in your favor.

  

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afropuff
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Thu May-21-15 09:37 AM

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35. "this was before the recession"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu May-21-15 09:38 AM by afropuff

          

i got a life coach, and we talked about organizing my life into quadrants of what i wanted to work on, then had weekly check-ins to make sure i was achieving goals. i needed someone to check in with like having a personal trainer. after i got tired of paying, i joined a self-help group that met in Starbucks, that was off the Oprah.com message boards, i think it was called "Take Time for Your Life" (this was like 2005).

So the areas i was working on were Social Life, Career, and to a lesser degree financial and fitness. The biggest thing I improved was my social life. I joined social groups off of Craigslist, kind of meetup.com type groups. I met a few crazies but also made several good friends. Also had lot of new experiences such as going hiking, learning ballroom dance, wine tastings and trying different cuisines.

Back at that time of life living in New York with no friends, all of these were valuable exeriences to me.

ETA: i was also in therapy to get in touch w my emotions and straighten out my mental state

  

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Starbaby Jones
Member since Mar 08th 2003
5034 posts
Thu May-21-15 12:01 PM

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36. "I got really serious in two major areas: health and finance"
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Health-wise, I became way more conscious of what I was eating, making sure I was actually exercising and removing unnecessary stressors.

Financially, I focused on saving (retirement and liquid) and making smarter spending decisions.

Ultimately, I've gotten more comfortable with the idea that I'm going to be around for another few decades. So, I started making decisions accordingly.

http://soundcloud.com/forestbrooks

  

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