A few days ago I had an event which caused my dad to bring his wife (of 21 years) and my step brothers. I haven't really been close to them really. I'm not really the "family type" so i don't really talk to my family that much anyways, but this is particularly strained because of things that happened when I was a kid.
My step mom never did anything in particular to me or my sister. But Just the fact that our mom and dad divorced when we were really young ( i don't remember my parents together) but my mom and dad (id say mainly mom) put us in the middle of their drama. constant phone arguments. visitation issues ( my mom drove across country and dragged us out of our dads house with cops....TWICE)
So from all of that drama - which pretty much ended once I graduated high school/college- this was the first time I EVER recall my mom and my step mom being in the same room.
I was sweating bullets.
It brought me back to being a 9 year old. I don't remember my mom or my step mom going at it PER SE. but there were rumors that my step mom was the reason why my parents divorced ( thats been denied) who knows.
I would like to have a closer relationship with not only her- but my step brothers. but my lil 9 year old allegiance with my mom- and my sister- would not have it.
The next day when we were out she called me her Son. I froze.She actually had to tap me on the shoulder as if to hint that she was talking about me lol
So bay -thick- ly:
how can you maintain a relationship with a step parent without feeling like your betraying your own?