Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby General Discussion topic #12790917

Subject: "Is anyone anywhere really still entirely against premarital sex?" Previous topic | Next topic
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:23 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
"Is anyone anywhere really still entirely against premarital sex?"


  

          

And I get an abstinence movement that acknowledges that pre-marital sex is a fact of life while still advising young people to be very conservative with regards to whom they choose and how often they chose to have sex and treat sex like a BFD.

But are there any folks who firmly believe, and would advise their kids, that they should never have sex until they are married?

In this day and age I can't think of any more reckless advice than to tell someone to wait until they have bound themselves to life with someone before engaging in the most intimate act two people can partake and GAMBLE that you are compatible in such a huge aspect of your married life.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top


Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
i have no problem w/it.
Apr 27th 2015
1
Shucks, I'm against ppl NOT living together before getting married.
Apr 27th 2015
3
      my parents have been married for 50 yrs.
Apr 27th 2015
4
      Yeah but we know why folks from past generations often stayed married
Apr 27th 2015
11
           My folks ain't that couple, player.
Apr 27th 2015
16
                Same here. Mine been together 53 years and still madly in love
Apr 27th 2015
21
                Okay but would you say that's generally the case then or now?
Apr 27th 2015
30
                sure. And that has little or no bearing on whether ppl need to
Apr 27th 2015
50
                not knowing those couples personally, i will say this
Apr 27th 2015
31
                     Not knowing those couples personally.
Apr 27th 2015
51
      Cohabitating couples have a MUCH higher divorce rate.
Apr 27th 2015
54
      RE: Shucks, I'm against ppl NOT living together before getting married.
Apr 27th 2015
78
What does the day and age have to do with the matter?
Apr 27th 2015
2
RE: What does the day and age have to do with the matter?
Apr 27th 2015
5
Simpler still, people get married later than before
Apr 27th 2015
12
RE: Simpler still, people get married later than before
Apr 27th 2015
24
Only if they're ignorant about it.
Apr 27th 2015
35
      What motivated your abstinence?
Apr 27th 2015
48
           Because.
Apr 27th 2015
60
But this isn't a women's only issue yaknow.
Apr 27th 2015
15
      right, its not a women only issue
Apr 27th 2015
33
Day and Age matters because we have more data around marriage.
Apr 27th 2015
8
      Day and Age matters because we have more divorces too
Apr 27th 2015
13
           RE: Day and Age matters because we have more divorces too
Apr 27th 2015
45
           Right.
Apr 27th 2015
46
This isn't the reckless part though
Apr 27th 2015
6
Yeah there is that too.
Apr 27th 2015
9
you don't have to have sex before marriage
Apr 27th 2015
7
RE: you don't have to have sex before marriage
Apr 27th 2015
10
you can make an informed decision without sex though
Apr 27th 2015
26
not everyone is led by their genitals
Apr 27th 2015
14
      also, as someone who has experienced her share of heartache
Apr 27th 2015
18
           ^^This. Sex doesn't form the attachment I thought it would
Apr 27th 2015
20
           yup. it's also not what i "regret" if i had a regret
Apr 27th 2015
22
                i didn't say that sex itself is the problem
Apr 27th 2015
34
                     you said
Apr 27th 2015
38
                          absolutely
Apr 27th 2015
44
                          i agree with you
Apr 27th 2015
67
           all of what you said is very well-stated. glad to see so many people get...
Apr 27th 2015
36
RE: Is anyone anywhere really still entirely against premarital sex?
Apr 27th 2015
17
that isn't realistic.
Apr 27th 2015
19
It's realistic to you and yet people are doing it all over the world.
Apr 27th 2015
23
      people are doing a lot of things all over the world
Apr 27th 2015
49
      Man you are all over the place.
Apr 27th 2015
56
      Some people do it. But not most. Not even by a long shot. STATS here
Apr 27th 2015
71
Case_One bout to ruin this entire post
Apr 27th 2015
25
I am waiting for someone to ask him if he is completely abstaining.
Apr 27th 2015
32
      He's a Kappa, so probably not.
Apr 27th 2015
40
How many men would marry a woman that wanted to wait until marriage..
Apr 27th 2015
27
*raises hand*
Apr 27th 2015
28
i would and i did
Apr 27th 2015
37
I would and about 90% of men would too.
Apr 27th 2015
39
thats not true at all dude
Apr 27th 2015
42
      I know. Most of these dude can't wait for anything.
Apr 27th 2015
47
           its not just about waiting.
Apr 27th 2015
59
                The matter is Heart issue that produces morals. That's the core issue
Apr 27th 2015
62
                Some men lack self control
Apr 27th 2015
66
Nope.
Apr 27th 2015
52
wait...are you asking how many would marry her just to have sex with her...
Apr 27th 2015
53
i judge Christians who aren't against it.
Apr 27th 2015
29
Premarital sex ain't the only sin in the Bible
Apr 27th 2015
41
its not but it is one of the main sins that people do willfully
Apr 27th 2015
43
most of the sins make sense...that one doesn't (to me)
Apr 27th 2015
55
makes no sense to me either
Apr 27th 2015
57
people are envious willingly..gluttonous willingly..anger easily
Apr 27th 2015
61
      not really.
Apr 27th 2015
63
      Don't forget the lying and coveting.
Apr 27th 2015
64
           people dont willfully do any of those things
Apr 27th 2015
69
                lying is pretty cut and dry
Apr 27th 2015
81
I find the emphasis on it in modern religion to be strange.
Apr 27th 2015
79
I am a Christian and I am for responsible premaritial sex.
Apr 27th 2015
72
      you're rationalizing tho.
Apr 27th 2015
73
           I don't think it's a sin then.
Apr 27th 2015
77
I'm about to have a daughter..
Apr 27th 2015
58
That's one thing Muslims got right
Apr 27th 2015
65
There has to be or else this house bill wouldnt have been approved
Apr 27th 2015
68
lol @ "most intimate act two people can partake"
Apr 27th 2015
70
i think kids should be encouraged to self please
Apr 27th 2015
74
how else can we solidify the royal family's power and holdings?!
Apr 27th 2015
75
Does the bible even say premarital sex is a sin?
Apr 27th 2015
76
if so it's one or more of these, it seems:
Apr 27th 2015
80

SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:30 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
1. "i have no problem w/it."
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Apr-27-15 08:31 AM by SoWhat

  

          

the advice is only problematic if it results in folks being unequipped to handle many of the negative consequences of sex - unwanted pregnancies, STI's, HIV infection, shaming, et al.

i don't agree that ppl NEED to have sex w/their potential mate before marriage or that they NEED to have sex at all before their first marriage.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:35 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
3. "Shucks, I'm against ppl NOT living together before getting married. "
In response to Reply # 1


  

          

So you know how I feel about not making sexy time before marriage.

How can folks make such huge commitments without being expose to some basic aspects of their potential mate. Like whether they keep a nasty bathroom or have a micropenis.


>the advice is only problematic if it results in folks being
>unequipped to handle many of the negative consequences of sex
>- unwanted pregnancies, STI's, HIV infection, shaming, et al.
>
>i don't agree that ppl NEED to have sex w/their potential mate
>before marriage or that they NEED to have sex at all before
>their first marriage.
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:37 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
4. "my parents have been married for 50 yrs."
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

they didn't cohabitate or have sex (w/each other) before they exchanged vows.

it can be done. and, of course, my parents aren't an isolated example - millions of ppl all over the world make marriages work w/o premarital sex or shacking up. hell, some ppl make marriages work w/o even having MET much if at all before the wedding ('arranged marriage').

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:59 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
11. "Yeah but we know why folks from past generations often stayed married"
In response to Reply # 4


  

          

so long. Same with arranged marriage. Women had less choice and divorce wasn't/isn't an option.

It's hard to point to examples from the past and arrange marriage to make the case for why no premarital sex is a good thing.



>they didn't cohabitate or have sex (w/each other) before they
>exchanged vows.
>
>it can be done. and, of course, my parents aren't an isolated
>example - millions of ppl all over the world make marriages
>work w/o premarital sex or shacking up. hell, some ppl make
>marriages work w/o even having MET much if at all before the
>wedding ('arranged marriage').


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:10 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
16. "My folks ain't that couple, player."
In response to Reply # 11


  

          

They're together bc they wanna be. Just like my other auntie and uncle - 45 years. And another - 41 years. I see them happy together.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Lach
Charter member
44324 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:52 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
21. "Same here. Mine been together 53 years and still madly in love"
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

Like two 80 year old kids.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:20 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
30. "Okay but would you say that's generally the case then or now?"
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

>They're together bc they wanna be. Just like my other auntie
>and uncle - 45 years. And another - 41 years. I see them happy
>together.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:41 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
50. "sure. And that has little or no bearing on whether ppl need to"
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

cohabitate or have premarital sex.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:20 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
31. "not knowing those couples personally, i will say this"
In response to Reply # 16
Mon Apr-27-15 10:21 AM by Damali

          

we cannot know the true inner workings of any intimate relationship. what may look and seem happy to you may not really be and it mainly depends on how people define happiness

just because people tell outsiders they are happy, doesn't necessarily mean they really are

sometimes we can mistake acceptance of our current circumstances and that they cannot be changed (or not wanting to spend the energy to change it), as "happiness"

cuz no one else is there when that couple is alone with each other...we only know what we see and what they allow us to see

and as half of a married couple, i can say for a fact that we are well aware of our control over how others see us

d

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:43 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
51. "Not knowing those couples personally."
In response to Reply # 31


  

          

Exactly.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Monkey Genius
Member since Mar 04th 2005
8099 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:51 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
54. "Cohabitating couples have a MUCH higher divorce rate."
In response to Reply # 3


  

          

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
MME
Charter member
11940 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 05:57 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
78. "RE: Shucks, I'm against ppl NOT living together before getting married. "
In response to Reply # 3


  

          


>How can folks make such huge commitments without being expose
>to some basic aspects of their potential mate. Like whether
>they keep a nasty bathroom or have a micropenis.

ROFL!!

____________________________

FUCK DONALD TRUMP

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:35 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
2. "What does the day and age have to do with the matter?"
In response to Reply # 0


          


>In this day and age I can't think of any more reckless advice
>than to tell someone to wait until they have bound themselves
>to life with someone before engaging in the most intimate act
>two people can partake and GAMBLE that you are compatible in
>such a huge aspect of your married life.
>
>

Help me understand this ling of logic and why it's reckless to tell someone to remain a virgin until they are married?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Mr. ManC
Member since Jan 26th 2009
11819 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:41 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
5. "RE: What does the day and age have to do with the matter?"
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

Well in previous days and ages, where women were considered property, their "virginity" was basically esteemed as their only desirable worth. It was determined that in order for a woman to get a man, she couldn't be with anyone else, and ultimately was beholden to the man's desires.

In this day and age, where women are not property but individuals, then their "virginity" should not only not be required, but their "virginity" should not even be a thing. It really doesn't exist.

However, if a person decides on their own regard that they want to abstain, for any reason, secular or sacred, then to each their own. And at some point they will venture out, or meet someone, and take that step, pre or post marriage. But they won't have to feel beholden to someone else's desires, or plan, or expectations. People can just be, as God intended.

________________________________________________
R.I.P. Soulgyal <3
SUPA NERD LLC.
Knowledge Meets Nature
Musica Negra
#13irteen

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Cocobrotha2
Charter member
10883 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:02 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
12. "Simpler still, people get married later than before"
In response to Reply # 5


          

"Waiting until marriage" was around 4 years after leaving your parents house back when the average marrying age was 22 (assuming you're out on your own by 18). Now that the average is nearly 27, that's nearly a decade of restraining yourself on nothing but your own discipline and conviction.

It just isn't practical to most people who aren't pursuing a life in the church. And the people that do hold out for that long will likely (IMO) develop issues around sex that will take years to undo.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Mr. ManC
Member since Jan 26th 2009
11819 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:11 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
24. "RE: Simpler still, people get married later than before"
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

Very good point.

________________________________________________
R.I.P. Soulgyal <3
SUPA NERD LLC.
Knowledge Meets Nature
Musica Negra
#13irteen

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Sepia.
Member since Feb 25th 2009
12896 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:22 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
35. "Only if they're ignorant about it. "
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

>It just isn't practical to most people who aren't pursuing a
>life in the church. And the people that do hold out for that
>long will likely (IMO) develop issues around sex that will
>take years to undo.

I found it quite practical -- but maybe I'm an exception?

Anyway, there's no reason a person who abstains from sex should develop "issues" around sex
unless they choose to be ignorant about sex.
The more you educate yourself about it, the less of a forbidden enigma it becomes.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Cocobrotha2
Charter member
10883 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:39 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
48. "What motivated your abstinence?"
In response to Reply # 35


          

>>It just isn't practical to most people who aren't pursuing
>a
>>life in the church. And the people that do hold out for that
>>long will likely (IMO) develop issues around sex that will
>>take years to undo.
>
>I found it quite practical -- but maybe I'm an exception?

And, if I may ask, when did it end and why?

>Anyway, there's no reason a person who abstains from sex
>should develop "issues" around sex
>unless they choose to be ignorant about sex.
>The more you educate yourself about it, the less of a
>forbidden enigma it becomes.

I'm mostly speaking from my anecdotal relationship with a woman that was 23 yrs old when she lost her virginity to me. She said she wasn't holding out for marriage but still felt very conflicted by having sex outside of marriage. Turned out there was even more under the surface that complicated matters but that experience certainly made me wonder if other older virgins had similar hangups.

<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->
<-><-><-><-><-><-><-><-><->

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Sepia.
Member since Feb 25th 2009
12896 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:16 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
60. "Because. "
In response to Reply # 48
Mon Apr-27-15 11:18 AM by Sepia.

  

          

To me, sexual affection is supposed to be between two people in a loving, exclusive relationship.

I'm just the sort of person who reserves herself, so I don't engage in anything
that requires giving of myself unless I mean it -- not even hugging/kissing.
I'm not comfortable with it until I know and trust the person, and that takes a long time for me.

Plus, just being pragmatic -- the risks of sex were not worth it to me until
I felt I could handle them and was with someone I wanted to handle them with.


>And, if I may ask, when did it end and why?

I had sex 6 years ago, with someone I'd known and trusted for 10 years and had been with for a long time already.
I wanted to be in control of my "first time" and it finally felt like the right time with the right person.
And it was. I had a very wonderful first time, something I'd be glad to tell a teenager about as to why they should wait.
My boyfriend at the time actually felt pretty awful about his first time (it was several years prior, and he hadn't really wanted to).

Since then, I haven't had sex with anyone else. And I wouldn't be surprised if
I ended up waiting for a very long time before adding to my number. Maybe it will be my husband.

Or maybe it won't. Whatever it is, it will be because it's what I want and feel right about doing.
And not just to satisfy a physical urge or even to feed the mental need for affection.
Sex will always be, to me, something reserved for a loving, committed and established relationship.

I know it's not like that for many others. And I don't care what they do as long as they aren't in my bed.
I hope they choose to take the same stance of not judging me that I have taken for them.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:09 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
15. "But this isn't a women's only issue yaknow."
In response to Reply # 5


          

>Well in previous days and ages, where women were considered
>property, their "virginity" was basically esteemed as their
>only desirable worth. It was determined that in order for a
>woman to get a man, she couldn't be with anyone else, and
>ultimately was beholden to the man's desires.
>
>In this day and age, where women are not property but
>individuals, then their "virginity" should not only not be
>required, but their "virginity" should not even be a thing. It
>really doesn't exist.
>
>However, if a person decides on their own regard that they
>want to abstain, for any reason, secular or sacred, then to
>each their own. And at some point they will venture out, or
>meet someone, and take that step, pre or post marriage. But
>they won't have to feel beholden to someone else's desires, or
>plan, or expectations. People can just be, as God intended.
>

You ended that with "as God intended" but He intended us to wait.


.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Mr. ManC
Member since Jan 26th 2009
11819 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:21 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
33. "right, its not a women only issue"
In response to Reply # 15


  

          

however society had perpetually played out the scenario of a woman being beholden to her virginity while a man is validated by his virility.

And no disrespect to God's intentions, but I think what was intended was that we procreate, which is why sex feels amazing, because were it unenjoyable we would probably be extinct. Similarly it is why food tastes delicious, because if we didn't eat we'd die. It is a complimentarity of structure and function.

What we have done is gone a step beyond to govern what those feelings mean, who should do them and when one should participate. But those are more our intentions than God's. Were Adam and Eve married? Or were they paired together before marriage? Were Cane and Abel out of wedlock? Or were they God's intention? Even Jesus died on the cross before we participated in the body of Christ's church. That is a big physical commitment before we put a ring on it.

________________________________________________
R.I.P. Soulgyal <3
SUPA NERD LLC.
Knowledge Meets Nature
Musica Negra
#13irteen

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:51 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
8. "Day and Age matters because we have more data around marriage."
In response to Reply # 2


  

          

Also, because of societal advances in women rights which means women have more rights to choose who they marry and when.

So in a day in age in which women aren't being compelled to be married and both men and women have the ability to make a more informed decision and freely choose when to do so, it seems hard to argue that people should wait until they get married before having sex.



>
>>In this day and age I can't think of any more reckless
>advice
>>than to tell someone to wait until they have bound
>themselves
>>to life with someone before engaging in the most intimate
>act
>>two people can partake and GAMBLE that you are compatible in
>>such a huge aspect of your married life.
>>
>>
>
>Help me understand this ling of logic and why it's reckless to
>tell someone to remain a virgin until they are married?
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:07 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
13. "Day and Age matters because we have more divorces too"
In response to Reply # 8


          

>Also, because of societal advances in women rights which
>means women have more rights to choose who they marry and
>when.
>

But what does that have to do with premarital sex?

>So in a day in age in which women aren't being compelled to be
>married and both men and women have the ability to make a more
>informed decision and freely choose when to do so, it seems
>hard to argue that people should wait until they get married
>before having sex.
>


It would seem that based on your perspective (not saying you are wrong) that more people (women) would take their time even more and wait. With all of this data on marital success rates, diseases, quality of life, changes for random single parenthood, waiting until marriage might be the better option.

Yaknow.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Mr. ManC
Member since Jan 26th 2009
11819 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:35 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
45. "RE: Day and Age matters because we have more divorces too"
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

What if someone doesn't want to be married? What if they want a relationship, but has no desire to ever be married? Can that exist? And if it does, then once that consideration exists then why wouldn't it extend to all people?

________________________________________________
R.I.P. Soulgyal <3
SUPA NERD LLC.
Knowledge Meets Nature
Musica Negra
#13irteen

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:37 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
46. "Right."
In response to Reply # 13


  

          

>>Also, because of societal advances in women rights which
>>means women have more rights to choose who they marry and
>>when.
>>
>
>But what does that have to do with premarital sex?

In other words, People in general and women more specifically can choose now with more freedom to have sex without having to get married.




>
>>So in a day in age in which women aren't being compelled to
>be
>>married and both men and women have the ability to make a
>more
>>informed decision and freely choose when to do so, it seems
>>hard to argue that people should wait until they get married
>>before having sex.
>>
>
>It would seem that based on your perspective (not saying you
>are wrong) that more people (women) would take their time even
>more and wait. With all of this data on marital success rates,
>diseases, quality of life, changes for random single
>parenthood, waiting until marriage might be the better option.

People are though. People are waiting longer before getting married for example. Divorce rates are down from their peak. There are other examples of people making better decisions about getting married.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

gumz
Member since Jan 09th 2005
20118 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:47 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
6. "This isn't the reckless part though"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

>In this day and age I can't think of any more reckless advice
>than to tell someone to wait until they have bound themselves
>to life with someone before engaging in the most intimate act
>two people can partake and GAMBLE that you are compatible in
>such a huge aspect of your married life.

What makes it reckless is that it leads to people doing weird shit to get around a loop hole instead of just having regular protected sex. Because they're not "supposed" to be having sex they're sneaking around and doing it without getting birth control, condoms and generally being safe. That's the real problem.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:51 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
9. "Yeah there is that too. "
In response to Reply # 6


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

jrocc
Charter member
6492 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:50 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
7. "you don't have to have sex before marriage"
In response to Reply # 0


          

sure you WANT to have sex before marriage, but it's not necessary. just because you have sex with someone and it's great doesn't mean that it always will be. just the same as not having had sex with someone you have married doesn't mean that it won't be great in the future.

just because "everyone else is doing it" does mean much of anything honestly. people are kinda blinded to a lot of the problems that have come about from having such a passive attitude about sex.

I would advise my kids to wait until they're married to have sex. a lot of unwanted drama and heartache can be avoided when you're mind isn't so fixated on the unending pursuit of trying to "get some".

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:56 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
10. "RE: you don't have to have sex before marriage"
In response to Reply # 7


  

          

>sure you WANT to have sex before marriage, but it's not
>necessary. just because you have sex with someone and it's
>great doesn't mean that it always will be. just the same as
>not having had sex with someone you have married doesn't mean
>that it won't be great in the future.

I am not arguing that great sex equals the person to marry and bad sex equals the person not to marry.

I am arguing making an informed decision. Which also has nothing to do with what "everyone else is doing".

Also the desire to "want to get some" isn't at all determined by whether you decide to abstain or not (ie, you can decide to abstain and still be consumed with the desire to want and get some (in other words, "puberty").

And finally wanting to "get some" is probably one of the worst reasons to get married.


>
>just because "everyone else is doing it" does mean much of
>anything honestly. people are kinda blinded to a lot of the
>problems that have come about from having such a passive
>attitude about sex.
>
>I would advise my kids to wait until they're married to have
>sex. a lot of unwanted drama and heartache can be avoided
>when you're mind isn't so fixated on the unending pursuit of
>trying to "get some".


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
jrocc
Charter member
6492 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:16 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
26. "you can make an informed decision without sex though"
In response to Reply # 10


          

all I'm saying is that it's possible.

I didn't say that wanting to have sex causes problems. you're always going to want to have sex. that's just built into us as humans. abstinence will not stop that desire (nor should it). I'm talking about going out and trying to constantly fulfill that desire. that's where the problems can come in.

and I'm certainly not saying that if you're abstinent that you should get married just to have sex. that'd be a horribly stupid reason to marry someone.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:09 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
14. "not everyone is led by their genitals"
In response to Reply # 7
Mon Apr-27-15 09:09 AM by teefiveten

  

          

and they truly want to meet someone and engage with them emotionally first and foremost. that's not something that just comes with marriage

lots of people need that before having sex, which is fine and healthy
so is someone who would rather just seek and engage in physical relationships. as long as they are aware and they seek people who are of a similar mind or understand and accept those terms, then that's healthy as well

drama and heartache aren't a result of seeking sex usually. if anything it's a result of seeking more

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:15 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
18. "also, as someone who has experienced her share of heartache"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

sex is the least of it and doesn't really factor into the pain

it's usually the other things you do in that involvement that you lament doing for someone who didn't love you or stopped loving you well before you realized it.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
caramelapplebttms
Member since Mar 09th 2004
3152 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:50 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
20. "^^This. Sex doesn't form the attachment I thought it would "
In response to Reply # 18
Mon Apr-27-15 09:53 AM by caramelapplebttms

  

          

before I started having it. I believed the whole Oxytocin theory about why women got attachment to men they sleep with. When I've had my heart broken I don't even think about the sex. It's not even what I miss.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:53 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
22. "yup. it's also not what i "regret" if i had a regret"
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

it's usually something more along the emotional lines like helping/supporting that person and being invested way more than they were

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
jrocc
Charter member
6492 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:22 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
34. "i didn't say that sex itself is the problem"
In response to Reply # 22


          

being sexually active though CAN lead to issues. unwanted pregnancies and disease are but just a few. does sex lead to these things all the time? of course not.

does only having sex when you're married mean you won't have any problems? of course not.

if you do not want to have premarital sex, you should find someone who feels the same way you do.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:28 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
38. "you said"
In response to Reply # 34
Mon Apr-27-15 10:30 AM by teefiveten

  

          

"a lot of unwanted drama and heartache can be avoided when you're mind isn't so fixated on the unending pursuit of trying to "get some""

and i disagree
not everyone is in that pursuit of sex
someone who is not having sex can easily fall into drama and heartache trying to find what they are looking for.

expanding on sex was just to show that ultimately for most people involved in drama and heartache, sex isn't as prevalent an 'issue' as most would think

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92696 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:35 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
44. "absolutely"
In response to Reply # 38


  

          


>and i disagree
>not everyone is in that pursuit of sex
>someone who is not having sex can easily fall into drama and
>heartache trying to find what they are looking for.
>
>expanding on sex was just to show that ultimately for most
>people involved in drama and heartache, sex isn't as prevalent
>an 'issue' as most would think


~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                            
jrocc
Charter member
6492 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 12:20 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
67. "i agree with you"
In response to Reply # 38


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Damali
Member since Sep 12th 2002
35854 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:22 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
36. "all of what you said is very well-stated. glad to see so many people get..."
In response to Reply # 18


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

LAbeathustla
Member since Jan 24th 2004
33858 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:12 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
17. "RE: Is anyone anywhere really still entirely against premarital sex?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

yes.. my daughter

------------------------------------
2019 CABG Survivor

2016 OK Survivor Champion

be about it or be without it

RIP GOATs

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 09:20 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
19. "that isn't realistic."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I will just let my kids know that sex can come with consequences if they aren't safe and to make sure they're in charge of their decisions

I dont think anyone under 18 or 19 is emotionally mature enough to lose their virginity, but it's happening

I think I'd rather promote selectiveness over abstinence and most importantly leave an open space for my kids to talk to me about anything

one woman said she had a condom jar that she would fill up for her kids with no questions asked, I kind of liked that idea

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:06 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
23. "It's realistic to you and yet people are doing it all over the world."
In response to Reply # 19


          

>I will just let my kids know that sex can come with
>consequences if they aren't safe and to make sure they're in
>charge of their decisions
>
>I dont think anyone under 18 or 19 is emotionally mature
>enough to lose their virginity, but it's happening
>
>I think I'd rather promote selectiveness over abstinence and
>most importantly leave an open space for my kids to talk to me
>about anything
>
>one woman said she had a condom jar that she would fill up for
>her kids with no questions asked, I kind of liked that idea


.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
atruhead
Charter member
85230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:40 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
49. "people are doing a lot of things all over the world"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

abstinence vs. premarital fucking
not fucking animals vs. beastiality
living healthy vs. obesity
not judging others vs. being Case One

it isn't realistic to expect a teenager to not be preoccupied with sex

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:58 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
56. "Man you are all over the place."
In response to Reply # 49


          



.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 01:28 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
71. "Some people do it. But not most. Not even by a long shot. STATS here"
In response to Reply # 23


  

          

this is the 15 second search. I am sure if I searched longer I can find more recent data.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7226 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:14 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
25. "Case_One bout to ruin this entire post "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

I see it already. Lol. Just gonna sit back and wait for the right person to engage him.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:21 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
32. "I am waiting for someone to ask him if he is completely abstaining. "
In response to Reply # 25


  

          

>I see it already. Lol. Just gonna sit back and wait for the
>right person to engage him.


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7226 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:30 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
40. "He's a Kappa, so probably not."
In response to Reply # 32


  

          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

SimplyHannah
Member since Aug 09th 2009
7226 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:16 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
27. "How many men would marry a woman that wanted to wait until marriage.."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

For sex? Taking a poll here.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:18 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
28. "*raises hand*"
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
jrocc
Charter member
6492 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:25 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
37. "i would and i did"
In response to Reply # 27


          

and for the record, I wouldn't automatically disqualify her if she was not a virgin.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:29 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
39. "I would and about 90% of men would too."
In response to Reply # 27


          


.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:31 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
42. "thats not true at all dude"
In response to Reply # 39


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:37 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
47. "I know. Most of these dude can't wait for anything. "
In response to Reply # 42
Mon Apr-27-15 10:39 AM by Case_One

          

Our society is hyper-sexualized in every area of out normal daily living.


.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:11 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
59. "its not just about waiting."
In response to Reply # 47
Mon Apr-27-15 11:13 AM by NikaMandela

          

its also about knowing whats important to you as a spouse.

some men know that they will cheat or be tempted to cheat if they're not sexually satisfied or sexually compatible with their partner.

if sex isn't important to you, then i can see why it wouldn't be as important see what the deal is beforehand.

in my virgin days, i did sense that the guys just wanted me to have more sexual experience but also more emotional experience dealing with sex.


  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Case_One
Charter member
54687 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:24 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
62. "The matter is Heart issue that produces morals. That's the core issue "
In response to Reply # 59


          



.
.
.
"And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful." ~ 2 Tim 2:4

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Atillah Moor
Member since Sep 05th 2013
13825 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 12:19 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
66. "Some men lack self control "
In response to Reply # 59
Mon Apr-27-15 12:19 PM by Atillah Moor

  

          

which is no excuse.

______________________________________

Everything looks like Oprah kissing Harvey Weinstein these days

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
BigReg
Charter member
62390 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:46 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
52. "Nope. "
In response to Reply # 27


  

          

I just don't see someone who's abstained for so long suddenly having an open mind about sex and suddenly is going to have a strong libido and that's going to count a lot once we are working against the built in tedium of long term relationships/marriage to keep the sexual aspect of that relationship going

I just don't see ourselves as equally yoked when it comes to fucking, lol.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
gumz
Member since Jan 09th 2005
20118 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:49 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
53. "wait...are you asking how many would marry her just to have sex with her..."
In response to Reply # 27
Mon Apr-27-15 10:52 AM by gumz

  

          

confusing with the subject break but i was seeing a girl that was saving herself for marriage years ago...i told her it wasn't for me and that i wasn't looking for a relationship that didn't involve sex...it's a packaged deal for me. i placed no judgement or pressure but kept it real. we ended up having sex not long after and we stayed together almost 2 years but ultimately broke up.

edit: I should add that she wasn't a virgin but she was no longer interested in having more sex until she was married...or something like that. she'd basically abstained since her last serious relationship which was maybe a year prior to us meeting.

maybe i'm wrong for this but we never would've gotten to that 2 year mark without having sex. we could've been friends but other than that...i'm good. i would've just let her find a dude that was down for that.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:19 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
29. "i judge Christians who aren't against it. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

i feel guilty about it but yeah i quietly judge.

the Bible says dont do it.

but yeah. I'm for it. when i was a teenager and devoutly Christian, i was saving myself for marriage...then college happened and i started asking questions about Christianity and it stopped making sense. i still wanted to wait until i was married. you can imagine my fine ass having the virginity talk with prospective romantic partners, lol. it was tricky and more complicated that necessary. so eventually i started fornicating and wish i would have started sooner.

#issues

i think when i have kids it will be more about creating that space where they can talk to me and i can guide them through the process of understanding and managing their sexuality.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51981 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:30 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
41. "Premarital sex ain't the only sin in the Bible"
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:33 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
43. "its not but it is one of the main sins that people do willfully "
In response to Reply # 41


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
gumz
Member since Jan 09th 2005
20118 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:53 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
55. "most of the sins make sense...that one doesn't (to me)"
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

i get why you shouldn't kill someone or sleep with your neighbor's wife...etc. but the whole premarital sex thing seems like an odd add-on of some sort. i stopped being religious long before i was having sex though so it was never a conflict for me.

http://www.youtube.com/user/gumzization
twitter: @BrosefMalone

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 10:59 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
57. "makes no sense to me either"
In response to Reply # 55


          

actually it made more sense in the time the Bible was written.

trying to reconcile the Bible's stance on premarital sex to the consequences of premarital sex in modern times definitely gave me the clue that Christianity wasn't a good fit for me. and i wasn't even fucking, lol.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
ambient1
Member since May 23rd 2007
41077 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:22 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
61. "people are envious willingly..gluttonous willingly..anger easily "
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

ijs

=======================================
Coolin...

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:38 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
63. "not really."
In response to Reply # 61


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
Sepia.
Member since Feb 25th 2009
12896 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:44 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
64. "Don't forget the lying and coveting. "
In response to Reply # 61


  

          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 12:37 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
69. "people dont willfully do any of those things"
In response to Reply # 64


          

they dont anticipate lying to someone or coveting someone like they anticipate their next piece of ass they're not married to.

besides there are levels of all those things, many of them are subjective and mental. but having sex with someone you are not married to is an action and pretty cut and dry.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
GirlChild
Charter member
56000 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:52 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
81. "lying is pretty cut and dry"
In response to Reply # 69


  

          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
SP1200
Charter member
20101 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:05 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
79. "I find the emphasis on it in modern religion to be strange."
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

almost like an obsession. Cause it's mentioned in the bible not
emphasized and obsessed over.

http://i54.tinypic.com/2j51hj4.jpg

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 01:57 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
72. "I am a Christian and I am for responsible premaritial sex. "
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

When I first started I use to feel bad about it but I think I got over it pretty quickly.

I don't even think there is anything hypocritical about it either.

I think what your statement misjudges about being a Christian is that you aren't a Christian because you are without sin. In fact one of the most important aspects of being a Christian is acknowledging that we are full of sin and we should constantly strive to be better people and not hold ourselves higher than other people who commit sin (note that I didn't say don't judge others).

But that's just me. The way my faith developed isn't something you see a lot.



**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
NikaMandela
Charter member
35230 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 02:08 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
73. "you're rationalizing tho."
In response to Reply # 72


          

the key word is "willful."

no one is saying that Christians are perfect. but when you have a book that clearly tells you what to do and what NOT to do, you are obligated to TRY to follow suit. however, many Christians don't seem to try or have any conflict about it; they just rationalize it the same way you did: "yeah, i know this is a sin, but i know God is going to forgive me, so i'm good."

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
49336 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 05:39 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
77. "I don't think it's a sin then."
In response to Reply # 73


  

          

Or maybe rather not a big sin. I think the bible does make clear that there are big sins and little sins despite what Preachers tell us. See Matthew 22:36-40 aka The GREAT Commandment.

Like many people said before, there are plenty of commandments we break all the time and some are more important than others. I think if you try hard to follow the Great Commandment you will be okay.

Might sound convenient but for practical purposes I think it's the hardest commandment(s) to consistently follow.

Also, I think that's better than thinking there is a biblical loophole (ie, "yeah, i know this is a sin, but i know God is going to forgive me, so i'm >good."). God knows what is in your heart so if your beliefs and remorse are not sincere then you can't really ask for forgiveness of be forgiven.



>the key word is "willful."
>
>no one is saying that Christians are perfect. but when you
>have a book that clearly tells you what to do and what NOT to
>do, you are obligated to TRY to follow suit. however, many
>Christians don't seem to try or have any conflict about it;
>they just rationalize it the same way you did: "yeah, i know
>this is a sin, but i know God is going to forgive me, so i'm
>good."
>
>


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
79349 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 11:07 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
58. "I'm about to have a daughter.. "
In response to Reply # 0


          

I'm about to change all of my answers on the test.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

j.
Member since Feb 24th 2009
3819 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 12:16 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
65. "That's one thing Muslims got right"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

they put the fear of Allah into their daughters
the average muslim chick, even the non-hijabis, ain't giving it up before marriage
of course some get down and take the risk of getting honor killed, but for the most part it's no go for the muzzi box

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Sha
Member since Mar 25th 2004
68452 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 12:28 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
68. "There has to be or else this house bill wouldnt have been approved"
In response to Reply # 0
Mon Apr-27-15 12:28 PM by Sha

  

          

In addition to the already existing budget for AOUM (Abstinence Only Until Marriage), it was increased by 25 mill a year. Bringing the total for AOUM to 75 million! Also given the state-match requirements of the program, this has the potential to surpass more than $130 million per year in public dollars wasted on AOUM programs that have consistently proven to be ineffective.

So though folks in each state want this program, it has been proven useless and a waste of money.

ps. I work in sexual reproductive health and teen pregnancy prevention

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
14000 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 12:41 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
70. "lol @ "most intimate act two people can partake""
In response to Reply # 0


          


~
~
~
~
~
Days like this I miss Sha Mecca

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

godleeluv
Member since Jun 11th 2013
5861 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 04:43 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
74. "i think kids should be encouraged to self please"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

And to only have sex if they are planning to marry or planning to become pregnant.

I don't think it would eliminate encounters but may reduce them, which is a win in itself.

I've slept with around 10 people in my life. I really only feel three were needed. Sex is sex imo. As long as both people are prepared to learn then I don't see how waiting till marriage or near marriage is a bad thing.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
22151 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 04:56 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
75. "how else can we solidify the royal family's power and holdings?!"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

history.

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Monkey Genius
Member since Mar 04th 2005
8099 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 04:58 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
76. "Does the bible even say premarital sex is a sin?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

It says sex is sacred between husband and wife. It's also says don't be a ho.

Ion't think the bible ever actually says premarital sex is a sin, though.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Mon Apr-27-15 08:26 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
80. "if so it's one or more of these, it seems:"
In response to Reply # 76
Mon Apr-27-15 08:27 PM by SoWhat

  

          

http://www.openbible.info/topics/premarital_sex

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lobby General Discussion topic #12790917 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com