what would you do/think?

Poll result (39 votes) Major character flaws. I'mma keep it pushing (27 votes) Vote People can change...even after cheating on 4 ex's (2 votes) Vote I'm a reformed cheater (4 votes) Vote I've cheated and I'd do it again (1 votes) Vote I'm currently cheating (5 votes) Vote

fuck you.

_____________________

hello, lover.

if we're dating there's gotta be something about them i dig. hearing that they've 'cheated' on former lovers wouldn't strike me - largely b/c i don't value monogamy. and plus since i have reason to suspect going forward that i shouldn't expect this guy to be monogamous i don't see a reason to stop dating him just b/c he has failed to be monogamous in his prior relationships.

fuck you.

youre gay tho. .yall dont REALLY do the whole monogamy thing anyhows.

yupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyupyup

without commitment? What if the person brings you a disease? What if they open themselves up to falling for another and spending more time with them than you? what kind of relationship would that be where you hardly see your boo?

_____________________

hello, lover.

>without commitment?

there's commitment to each other but no commitment to monogamy.

>What if the person brings you a disease?

that's why God created penicillin. but our rule was that we had to play safe w/3rd parties and if any slip-ups happened they should be revealed quickly so we can address this concern.

>What if they open themselves up to falling for another and
>spending more time with them than you?

that didn't happen. we saw other ppl - my time w/others just made me appreciate my time w/him even more. b/c i got more out of my time w/him than i got out of my time w/other dudes.

and, of course, even if we'd committed ourselves to monogamy my guy could've fallen for someone else.

what kind of
>relationship would that be where you hardly see your boo?

i dunno b/c that didn't happen w/us - at least not b/c we were open to seeing other ppl.

fuck you.

>>What if the person brings you a disease?
>
>that's why God created penicillin. but our rule was that we
>had to play safe w/3rd parties and if any slip-ups happened
>they should be revealed quickly so we can address this
>concern.

and then you just have to let go and trust your partner, right? whoooo that's tough, lol. what if he lies to avoid an argument? i guess you have to make sure whoever you're with is SUPER mature and, well, trustworthy.

>>What if they open themselves up to falling for another and
>>spending more time with them than you?
>
>that didn't happen. we saw other ppl - my time w/others just
>made me appreciate my time w/him even more. b/c i got more
>out of my time w/him than i got out of my time w/other dudes.
>
>
>and, of course, even if we'd committed ourselves to monogamy
>my guy could've fallen for someone else.
>
> what kind of
>>relationship would that be where you hardly see your boo?
>
>i dunno b/c that didn't happen w/us - at least not b/c we were
>open to seeing other ppl.

hmm...youre right. we really cant control what others do so i'd rather he be honest with me than lie to me.

_____________________

hello, lover.

>and then you just have to let go and trust your partner,
>right? whoooo that's tough, lol. what if he lies to avoid an
>argument? i guess you have to make sure whoever you're with is
>SUPER mature and, well, trustworthy.

the same is true if we'd made a commitment to monogamy.

>hmm...youre right. we really cant control what others do so
>i'd rather he be honest with me than lie to me.

that's how i feel about it. plus i'm not interested in monogamy and so i prefer an open relationship.

if other ppl feel differently that's fine. if they prefer monogamy and it works for them that's wonderful.

fuck you.

I always value your advice. now i'm finna go talk to this man and pick his brain a bit more cause i'm still kinda neurotic, lol. but what you've said has resonated.

_____________________

hello, lover.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

i don't know that hearing that the guy has 'cheated' on his former lovers means that i'm not interested in marrying him - ever. i don't prize monogamy so hearing that my guy hasn't been monogamous wouldn't bother me.

and plus - i'm ME and his former lovers are THEM. what happened between them ain't about me.

fuck you.

at least i believe so.

a woman who cheats more often than not is not cheating for the raw hunger of it, she's cheating for emotional reasons.

it's a trust issue for me more than some repugnance toward her fucking someone else from the physical side.

like, as i have said here many times, i've fucked a lot of women who had BFs or in a couple cases even husbands. NEVER did i think shit was going to be a long-term thing with them. if they had a wandering eye and left him for me, what's to stop them from doing the same to me?

it's not about being cheated on, it's about being left and it's about being trusting, comfortable and open while we are together.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

>at least i believe so.

you are incorrect.

i am in the minority among my gay friends. and generally based on what i've read and heard most queer ppl prefer monogamy and expect it in their relationships.

>a woman who cheats more often than not is not cheating for the
>raw hunger of it, she's cheating for emotional reasons.

oh boy...

>it's a trust issue for me more than some repugnance toward her
>fucking someone else from the physical side.
>
>like, as i have said here many times, i've fucked a lot of
>women who had BFs or in a couple cases even husbands. NEVER
>did i think shit was going to be a long-term thing with them.
>if they had a wandering eye and left him for me, what's to
>stop them from doing the same to me?
>
>it's not about being cheated on, it's about being left and
>it's about being trusting, comfortable and open while we are
>together.

*i* don't have this issue. i am in the minority.

fuck you.

i know some gay couples that are super traditional but most of the gay cats i have known are pretty fast and loose. i envy that.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

fuck you.

>at least i believe so.
>
>a woman who cheats more often than not is not cheating for the
>raw hunger of it, she's cheating for emotional reasons.

because you're either a. been involved with all women to know this as fact or b. you're a woman yourself.
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGHT.

>
>it's a trust issue for me more than some repugnance toward her
>fucking someone else from the physical side.
>
>like, as i have said here many times, i've fucked a lot of
>women who had BFs or in a couple cases even husbands. NEVER
>did i think shit was going to be a long-term thing with them.
>if they had a wandering eye and left him for me, what's to
>stop them from doing the same to me?

Have you ever stopped to consider what this says about YOU and YOUR values?
These women didn't cheat on their men by themselves.

>
>it's not about being cheated on, it's about being left and
>it's about being trusting, comfortable and open while we are
>together.

this is the only part of your response that I will agree with.

here for dis.

>>at least i believe so.
>>
>>a woman who cheats more often than not is not cheating for
>the
>>raw hunger of it, she's cheating for emotional reasons.
>
>because you're either a. been involved with all women to know
>this as fact or b. you're a woman yourself.
>RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGHT.

OK I will remember this the next time you make even the slightest generalization about men. I've been involved with plenty, close friends with plenty and I did say more often than not.


>>it's a trust issue for me more than some repugnance toward
>her
>>fucking someone else from the physical side.
>>
>>like, as i have said here many times, i've fucked a lot of
>>women who had BFs or in a couple cases even husbands. NEVER
>>did i think shit was going to be a long-term thing with
>them.
>>if they had a wandering eye and left him for me, what's to
>>stop them from doing the same to me?
>
>Have you ever stopped to consider what this says about YOU and
>YOUR values?
>These women didn't cheat on their men by themselves.

Well I mean in some cases they did, in fact in most of them. I found out after the fact. And I am not here to champion my "values," shiiiiit, I know I got a messy closet. That said, you are sidestepping what you know damn well is real, if you met them in that situation, it's not working out in the long run. And if someone has cheated on EVERYONE they have ever been with? Yes, that is a red flag, come on, don't pussyfoot around the question at hand and the obvious answer.

>>it's not about being cheated on, it's about being left and
>>it's about being trusting, comfortable and open while we are
>>together.
>
>this is the only part of your response that I will agree
>with.

So we are on the most important thing entonces porque tan peleona parce?

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

go as far back as you need to
you'd be hard pressed
I deal with HUMAN BEINGS

>OK I will remember this the next time you make even the
>slightest generalization about men. I've been involved with
>plenty, close friends with plenty and I did say more often
>than not.

>>Have you ever stopped to consider what this says about YOU
>and
>>YOUR values?
>>These women didn't cheat on their men by themselves.
>
>Well I mean in some cases they did, in fact in most of them. I
>found out after the fact. And I am not here to champion my
>"values," shiiiiit, I know I got a messy closet. That said,
>you are sidestepping what you know damn well is real, if you
>met them in that situation, it's not working out in the long
>run. And if someone has cheated on EVERYONE they have ever
>been with? Yes, that is a red flag, come on, don't pussyfoot
>around the question at hand and the obvious answer.

I haven't pussyfooted around ANYTHING here
I've only addressed what I've seen as weak points such as Adwhizz painting bisexual women as cheaters and you saying women cheat for emotional reasons. How do you really know they weren't in for simply a nut and fed into your ego the way a good portion of men do to a lot of women just to get it (especially being that you found out they were otherwise involved AFTER the fact according to you)? You're doing the same thing all over again, I wasn't here for it a reply ago and I'm still not here for it now.

>>
>>this is the only part of your response that I will agree
>>with.
>
>So we are on the most important thing entonces porque tan
>peleona parce?

Because it doesn't cancel out the fact that your house is still made of cards.

here for dis.

Or from inside their cages, of course.

fuck you.

HOWEVER, again, I know a lot of women intimately and just as friends and I have no reason to believe they were lying to me about why they cheated on someone else or why they cheated on someone else with me. I drop decent dick but believe me I am not the kinda person you'd fuck around on your man with for a thrill, except in a couple cases (I mean these girls were *really* bored at home).

I dunno fam, to me we aren't that far apart but you're trying to create some funk here. So I got one question for you:

ESOS SON REEBOHS O SON NAIKS????

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Because I actually had one it was to say that I was speaking from the experience of women I know and that they had no reason to "stroke my ego" or otherwise lie to me, and also that I was not oblivious to the possibility of cheating for physiological reasons. We were apart for a long time and she just caved in. I came close to doing the same.

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

That person continues to make poor choices, and has no self control to just wait until they end the relationship before moving on.

Somebody's lying...

@Atruelady Twitter/ @Sweetesttaboos Instagram

never cheated, ever...there's always a chance they might cheat on you.

_____________________

hello, lover.

You almost deserve to be cheated on! lol You were given the CarFax and you still chose to take the car off the lot.

Somebody's lying...

@Atruelady Twitter/ @Sweetesttaboos Instagram

the other person's intelligence.

Like: "let's see just how much can I expect this (new) person to take of my stuff."


Would a person say "I've always defrauded my previous employers" in a job interview?

maybe they're showing their intentions upfront
maybe cheaters never tell
maybe...

_____________________

hello, lover.

>maybe they're showing their intentions upfront


that's it.

is on you.

If they cheat the first thing they will say is "look, it ain't like you didn't know.."

_____________________

hello, lover.

(or whoever this person was making the statement to) weren't given a context or explanation of the statement.


If you (or whoever) wasn't EXACTLY told what "I've always cheated in my relationships" means for present or future potential relationships, then it could only be an intelligence test - as in "let's see how much this person will fall for".


Everybody knows a statement like that has to be explained or contextualized. If it wasn't, that's a testing situation.

_____________________

hello, lover.

They may be a liar. They may be untrustworthy. But for gods sake they didn't cheat anybody outta anything. Its their body. They can do what they want with it.

On topic, at this point ive been on every angle of the love thing, the main thing, the side piece, the heart broken the breaker of hearts etc. I dont care what you did to them....just be good to me

here for dis.

Someone in an overtly defined monogamous relationship is breaking the rules by fucking someone else

Hence cheating.

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

Cheating is something kids do at monopoly. It denotes childishness

You had a agreement in place with your boo and they fk someone else? They broke the agreement. They have no integrity. Their word is useless. That is strong character shit. Thats legit. They *cheated* you? This isn't tiddly winks fucktard.

Grow up


does it really matter?

wonder what bin's doing?
http://i.imgur.com/phECCMp.jpg

And you will know MY JACKET IS GOLD when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

that sounds like a compulsion

www.engadgethd.com - the other stuff i'm looking at

**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

Then I would ask why
and no matter the response keep it in my mental rolodex.

This person would then be placed solely into the seasonal fling category.

If I wanted a monogamous relationship with this person I'd kill the dream, run, and never look back if I were you.

>what would you do/think?I would ask that person what made her decise to tell me this information?

I also ask her why she chose to enter a monogamous relationship, if she knew she would breach such an arrangement?

Depending on her answers, I would ask a few more, then get to the nitty gritty as to what her intentions were with me.

I want to say that I would charge her based on her admission, but should I decide to proceed, I know I would do so with caution as well as keep my feelings in check, just in case she decides to do it to me.

More than likely, I would prefer someone who values monogamy or simply deal with that person on a casual, non commitment level.

Anything else is romantic fantasy.

----------------------------------
I have a webcomic: www.watchthecomic.com

My webcomic has a page: www.facebook.com/watchyourheadcomic

*cries in hands*

FML.

http://youtu.be/5o37GORoKUQ

#htpw

*hysterically*

http://youtu.be/5o37GORoKUQ

#htpw

"Seasons may come and your luck just may run out, and all that you'll have is some memories..."

Hopefully I'll have found the perfect 2nd wife by then.

PolygynyFTW!

http://youtu.be/5o37GORoKUQ

#htpw

i just, can't imagine...

it's cool as shit it has worked for you though

i had sex with the same person for 15 years and while it was trying at times i was still generally satisfied. my interest was dick and the person it was attached to. i didn't see the novelty in random dick.

_____________________

hello, lover.

thats just to let u know he gets down.

rock with it or not, he dont care.

of conversation and lots of questions and putting 2+2 together.
he still maintains that he's a loyal man, haaaahahahaha!

_____________________

hello, lover.

are they bragging warning or trying to say this time will be different...

I got a good life man

_____________________

hello, lover.

It was never a character flaw or a lack of self-control. it was a choice...albeit, an unkind and unloving one...partly because i didn't see the value in monogamy. i do now. i also didn't have the courage to be THAT honest with folks. i do now

I was upfront with my husband about this...it came about because when we were dating and discussing how each of us is "special" to the other, he expressed that it was important to him that he have something with me that no other man has had with me

so i told him that he would be the first person i didn't cheat on. yeah, to a degree, he hated knowing that, but i felt it was important to be honest about that. and i haven't cheated and i know i won't. because, like i said, it's ultimately a choice we make. and i'm choosing not to do that anymore. On a macro level, i'm simply choosing to not lie..because ultimately, cheating is lying.

let me also add this: just because someone says they are not a cheater doesn't mean they never were. we never have any way of knowing how honest someone is being about their past that we can't verify. so we all make a choice to either trust or not trust and that's it.

d

if Idris Elba/someone you find incredibly sexy propositioned you on an out of town trip, and you knew you'd never get caught, would you cheat?

_____________________

hello, lover.

it really just comes down to that

what you do when noone is looking are precisely the moments which define your life

~Experience is the currency of the soul.

so the value it has to me may not be the same value it has for someone else

for me, there's a spiritual bond that can be had between two people who only want to give their physical bodies to each other...it can be a wonderful challenge in having to work at keeping each other interested and desired and keeping the intimacy erotic (if that's important to you). put simply, it's a promise.

however, i don't think it's the only way. a couple can be non-monogamous but not cheat. a couple can put their physical boundaries somewhere where another does not. i definitely see the value in that as well.

suffice it to say, the sexual journey i'm on with my husband is an exciting one.

>if Idris Elba/someone you find incredibly sexy propositioned
>you on an out of town trip, and you knew you'd never get
>caught, would you cheat?

no. i'd call my husband and tell him about the proposition and hope he just gives me the go ahead lol. if not, (which i'm sure he would not) oh well. our union & trust comes first.

d

replies like this make me an okp for life

_____________________

hello, lover.

If she is FIONE then me being with her would elevate my status.
Younger me would say something completely different.

http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
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PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

I already stated I don't care if she cheats or not I'm already looking out the front door (c) Main Source

http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

I used to have a few back in the day in VA. No telling where they may end up at the end of the night but when I walked in the door with them..

ALL EYES ON ME!!!

I don't care if they're sleeping with other women.

R.I.P. Loud But Wrong Guy
Dec 29th 2009 - Dec 17th 2017

i *HATE* when people do this
bisexual people are perfectly capable of being monogamous if that's what they indeed value.
KNOCK THAT DUMB SHIT OFF
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, STOP TRYING TO MIX POLYAMORY AND BISEXUALITY! THEY ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS!

here for dis.

fuck you.

Ppl who just want some side action dont strike me as actually poly.

Adwhizz seems to have found a particular relationship dynamic that allows for his partner to get some side action without causing him anxiety. I agree there is obviously some cliché there regarding bi women but if it works for him in practice... *shrug*

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE

too often there is an assumption that monogamy and bisexuality are incompatible.

the children need to be informed that the 2 CAN and most often do coexist.

fuck you.