Printer-friendly copy Email this topic to a friend
Lobby General Discussion topic #12763775

Subject: "I often disagreed with feminists, but I wonder if my beliefs are wrong" Previous topic | Next topic
Starks dunked on Bulls
Member since Dec 07th 2011
12028 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:05 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
"I often disagreed with feminists, but I wonder if my beliefs are wrong"
Thu Mar-26-15 11:05 AM by Starks dunked on Bul

  

          

I was shopping at Zabars at the Upper West Side and I realized I had to stop at the Post Office. So I vamoosed to the nearest Post Office 5 blocks away.

On my way I saw this bag at Burberry:
http://us.burberry.com/small-canvas-check-backpack-p39459501?search=true

Should I cop?

Anyway, back to the story . . .


So at the Post Office, there was this blonde white girl who wanted to mail a key in a flimsy little envelope. Big black man warned her that it was a bad idea. The girl asked if she's allowed to do so and he said yes, so she confirmed that's what she wanted to do. Black man asked her again if that's what she wanted to do and she said she'll take her chances. While the black man was sorting out the details for 10 minutes, he questioned/warned her about doing so about 5-7 more times and that's when she snapped by saying "Can you just do this???" And he replied by saying "I just don't think it's a good idea." And she replied "Well I didn't ask you what you thought. It's not a life or death matter." And black dude begrudgingly followed her request.

It got me to thinking, if I was the person making the request I don't think he would've questioned me like that. He would've asked a second time but that's it. Men respect a man's final say and they let them deal with the consequences. He wants to run the ball on 4th and 4, ok fine, that's his call. I think the fact that the male worker was trying to help the female precluded him from allowing her to make a decision.

What do you think? Is this sexism?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top


Topic Outline
Subject Author Message Date ID
men definitely tend to question women more
Mar 26th 2015
1
why is she an idiot?
Mar 26th 2015
8
      that's exactly why.
Mar 26th 2015
16
           yup..
Mar 26th 2015
20
           same.
Mar 26th 2015
23
           Interesting. Dude was like "I've been working over ___years and
Mar 26th 2015
34
                sounds like it could be the white girl doubting all these ppl
Mar 26th 2015
48
Had to return my old Android Moto X to VZW for a $100 credit...
Mar 26th 2015
2
I think several things come in to play in these situations
Mar 26th 2015
3
Keys get lost easily in mail processing equipment.
Mar 26th 2015
4
nice looking bag, just a bit small-ish
Mar 26th 2015
5
nice looking bag, just a bit expensive-ish
Mar 26th 2015
9
      perhaps, I have no idea what the OP is holding.
Mar 26th 2015
15
           no doubt, it's his money
Mar 26th 2015
21
This example reinforces the belief that chivalry is linked to chauvinism
Mar 26th 2015
6
^^^^^^
Mar 26th 2015
7
stole my reply
Mar 26th 2015
10
its kind of assumed here that he wouldn't be that way with a dude tho.
Mar 26th 2015
17
you are right
Mar 26th 2015
26
      oh i still call them foes but postal workers tend to be
Mar 26th 2015
27
           alright i feel you
Mar 26th 2015
30
                gotcha.
Mar 26th 2015
31
at this point, I thought that point was pretty much inarguable.
Mar 26th 2015
36
How do you all feel about men softening their voices, i.e. Obama + Cary?
Mar 26th 2015
11
Was it racist she wouldn't listen to the black man though?
Mar 26th 2015
12
^^^^ If a white man had told her, would she have listened?
Mar 26th 2015
13
This is a really good question too. I think there's space to contemplate
Mar 26th 2015
18
that's another angle i considered.
Mar 26th 2015
19
      lmao
Mar 27th 2015
55
We also frequently encounter this type of skepticism in the workplace.
Mar 26th 2015
14
Ummm, I am black so yeah I don't need to imagine...
Mar 26th 2015
22
^^^^^
Mar 26th 2015
24
I hear you, but what I'm talking about happens intra-racially as well.
Mar 26th 2015
25
      yep
Mar 26th 2015
28
      Maaaan! LMAO....you stay on attack mode!
Mar 26th 2015
43
           Why you feeling affronted?
Mar 26th 2015
51
           don't feed the antagonists dog
Mar 26th 2015
52
           or not say stupid shit
Mar 26th 2015
53
           Lol right. The level of hurt there :(
Mar 27th 2015
58
                Or yall pick and choose
Mar 27th 2015
59
      yes. yes it does.
Mar 26th 2015
38
maybe 'cause I've worked in engineering with an entirely female
Mar 26th 2015
29
      thats dope.
Mar 26th 2015
32
      That's dope. I mean I don't want to be completely myopic lol.. I realize...
Mar 26th 2015
33
      I think in IT everyone has to show and prove initially
Mar 26th 2015
40
           Oh, absolutely. But when a subgroup of employees of the same job title
Mar 26th 2015
45
                RE: Oh, absolutely. But when a subgroup of employees of the same job tit...
Mar 26th 2015
50
                     Ok well, one only needs to google: women,workplace,discrimination,STEM
Mar 27th 2015
57
      when i worked in IT in a former life
Mar 26th 2015
42
           Now that's great to hear
Mar 26th 2015
54
1-2 warnings is enough. Had it been just 1-2 warnings it would of
Mar 26th 2015
35
true, but i bet he has dealt with tons of lost keys
Mar 26th 2015
37
you're probably wrong, I've worked in female dominated
Mar 26th 2015
39
^^ Friend of mine worked in child care while completing his Ed.D and
Mar 26th 2015
46
y'all know she might not have been sending a key
Mar 26th 2015
41
i'd be more concerned with it getting lost
Mar 26th 2015
44
Word it's definitely real.
Mar 27th 2015
56
it's against postal regulations to send a key in envelope like that.
Mar 26th 2015
47
http://i.imgur.com/IW8simF.gif
Mar 26th 2015
49

SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:09 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
1. "men definitely tend to question women more"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

and dismiss our opinions re: certain things.

she's dumb though.

whether or not he would have questioned you that many times i don't know.
but she's an idiot.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70263 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:03 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
8. "why is she an idiot? "
In response to Reply # 1


          

if it's because it's unsafe to mail a key

I agree...

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:28 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
16. "that's exactly why. "
In response to Reply # 8


  

          

and if somebody in the mailing industry tells you its unsafe, listen to them and try another method. i'd trust they know wtf they're talking about.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70263 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:34 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
20. "yup.. "
In response to Reply # 16


          

and I could see this dude doing it to a guy as well.

People who work at the Post Office give no fucks

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:35 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
23. "same. "
In response to Reply # 20


  

          

they don't want to hear the complaints later about how the USPS ain't shit

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
Starks dunked on Bulls
Member since Dec 07th 2011
12028 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 02:54 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
34. "Interesting. Dude was like "I've been working over ___years and"
In response to Reply # 16


  

          

>and if somebody in the mailing industry tells you its unsafe,
>listen to them and try another method. i'd trust they know wtf
>they're talking about.
>
>

its my opinion that you shouldn't do this." And he asked his co-workers to verify and they all agreed with him.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 07:15 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
48. "sounds like it could be the white girl doubting all these ppl"
In response to Reply # 34


          

behind the counter becaues they're black or hispanic or work in a retail service position.

you could look at this many ways.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

FLUIDJ
Member since Sep 18th 2002
43691 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:26 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
2. "Had to return my old Android Moto X to VZW for a $100 credit..."
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

they sent this flimsy ass baggie, addressed and postaged already for me to return the phone to them in....

MY dumbass fell for the okiedoke....

3-weeks later I get an email from VZW

"Sorry Mr. FLUIDJ; the device you returned to us is not eligible for the rebate program for the following reasons: Device was returned to us in inoperable condition. Screen Cracked. Caseback cracked. Powerbutton non responsive."


FML yo....

"Seasons may come and your luck just may run out, and all that you'll have is some memories..."

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51978 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:33 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
3. "I think several things come in to play in these situations"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

If it had been a younger guy or boy, he may have questioned it the same way.

If it had been a grandma or someone who seemed like they were 100% confident in the decision, he may not have questioned it.

I don't know...kind of a random example.

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

MEAT
Member since Feb 08th 2008
21073 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:34 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
4. "Keys get lost easily in mail processing equipment. "
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

Particularly in the wrong envelope. For future reference if someone asks you that be they man, woman, or bumblebee... appreciate that concern.


------
“There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by scorn.” -Albert Camus

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21953 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:45 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
5. "nice looking bag, just a bit small-ish"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70263 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:03 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
9. "nice looking bag, just a bit expensive-ish"
In response to Reply # 5


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
double negative
Member since Dec 14th 2007
21953 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:28 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
15. "perhaps, I have no idea what the OP is holding. "
In response to Reply # 9


  

          

8 bills for him might be worth it

***********************************************************
https://soundcloud.com/swageyph/yph-die-with-me

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70263 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:35 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
21. "no doubt, it's his money"
In response to Reply # 15
Thu Mar-26-15 01:36 PM by legsdiamond

          

but it's my opinion

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

dafriquan
Charter member
24695 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:49 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
6. "This example reinforces the belief that chivalry is linked to chauvinism"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-26-15 11:50 AM by dafriquan

  

          

He thinks he is being helpful but he is actually being patronizing.
The conflict arises because his help is not beneficial to her.

It gets complex because sometimes the patronizing/chauvinist attitude would not cause conflict if the end result was deemed beneficial by the recepient.

The good type of chivalrous dude (if there is such a thing) is probably one who is equally as gracious and generous to both genders.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Starks dunked on Bulls
Member since Dec 07th 2011
12028 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 11:51 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
7. "^^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

>He thinks he is being helpful but he is actually being
>patronizing.
>The conflict arises because his help is not beneficial to
>her.
>
>It gets complex because sometimes the patronizing/chauvinist
>attitude would not cause conflict if the end result was deemed
>beneficial by the recepient.
>
>The good type of chivalrous dude (if there is such a thing) is
>probably one who is equally as gracious and generous to both
>genders.
>
>

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
MiracleRic
Member since Oct 21st 2002
45200 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:08 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
10. "stole my reply"
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Let me sport my Air Hyperbole 2010s in peace. (c) ansomble

Building repetoires (c) spm since 1983

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:29 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
17. "its kind of assumed here that he wouldn't be that way with a dude tho."
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

we don't know that for fact.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
dafriquan
Charter member
24695 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:40 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
26. "you are right"
In response to Reply # 17


  

          

we don't know it for a fact.

i was just trying to illustrate that he might mean no harm while doing a little of harm
she basically had to tell him to fall back.

on a tangent.
its kind of like when a white person is being an asshole to you.
in way that you "feel" he would not talk to another white person
do you resist the temptation to assume he is racist?

i mean you used to call them all foes...lol...but for real for real what's your knee jerk now?

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:43 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
27. "oh i still call them foes but postal workers tend to be"
In response to Reply # 26


  

          

ornery and overly 'helpful' in general from my experience
i go to the post office pretty regularly (to ship cds and tshirts)
like i said in my initial reply i know of which you speak (i AM a woman remember )
i've even experienced it
but i'm not so sure that's what this was in this instance.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
dafriquan
Charter member
24695 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:52 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
30. "alright i feel you"
In response to Reply # 27


  

          


>i've even experienced it
>but i'm not so sure that's what this was in this instance.
i think we're kinda piggy backing on it to make a bigger point. seen?

i mean the type of male patronizing implied is obvious to most (you and i included) but for the OP it was kinda of an epiphany

p.s. yeah the postal cats CAN be a little extra. and the chick is not that bright.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 02:03 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
31. "gotcha."
In response to Reply # 30


  

          

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
spades
Member since Mar 22nd 2006
42303 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 04:05 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
36. "at this point, I thought that point was pretty much inarguable."
In response to Reply # 6


  

          

Isn't this accepting knowledge?

********************************
http://www.last.fm/user/Nspades

Get Out The Room!
http://getouttheroom.podomatic.com
@fakewilliamkatt
www.wickedradionetwork.com

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion" - Paulo Coehlo

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51978 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:36 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
11. "How do you all feel about men softening their voices, i.e. Obama + Cary?"
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-26-15 12:37 PM by -DJ R-Tistic-

  

          

It was hilarious, I didn't even catch it til OKP pointed it out.

During one of his 2012 debates, there was a question in the audience from someone named "Cary." He immediately responded as if he was talking to a kid, or to a 110 pound skinny girl with dark brown hair, like "Hi Caaary"....then this burly ass man with a heavy voice stands up...and he immediately switched it up like "OH....SUP MY NIGGA CARY CUH."

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
46159 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:45 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
12. "Was it racist she wouldn't listen to the black man though?"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          


**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51978 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 12:56 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
13. "^^^^ If a white man had told her, would she have listened? "
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:30 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
18. "This is a really good question too. I think there's space to contemplate"
In response to Reply # 12


          


the gender dynamic seperately from its intersection with race, though.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:30 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
19. "that's another angle i considered."
In response to Reply # 12


  

          

but in the end she's just dumb for trying to mail a key in a regular ass envelope in the first place.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Fri Mar-27-15 01:29 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
55. "lmao"
In response to Reply # 19


          

>but in the end she's just dumb for trying to mail a key in a
>regular ass envelope in the first place.

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:25 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
14. "We also frequently encounter this type of skepticism in the workplace. "
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-26-15 01:34 PM by kfine

          


Especially male-dominated industries, companies or job roles.. like doing quantitative work or IT.

Imagine encountering that degree of skepticism, recurrently, just trying to do your damn job. And this is assuming you made it past the initial sexist assumptions that might prevent you from being tasked with the job in the first place.

Meanwhile your equivalent, or sometimes even less qualified, male colleagues get treated like:

>I don't think he would've questioned me like that. He would've
>asked a second time but that's it. Men respect a man's final
>say


It's beyond aggravating and often times detrimental to our professional advancement.

And this is just talking about work output, collaboration opportunities and promotion. The way such skepticism drives pay inequity could be a whole other post.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Buddy_Gilapagos
Charter member
46159 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:35 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
22. "Ummm, I am black so yeah I don't need to imagine... "
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

>Imagine encountering that degree of skepticism, recurrently,
>just trying to do your damn job.




**********
"Everyone has a plan until you punch them in the face. Then they don't have a plan anymore." (c) Mike Tyson


"One of the most important things in life is what Judge Learned Hand described as 'that ever-gnawing inner doubt as to whether you're

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70263 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:37 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
24. "^^^^^"
In response to Reply # 22


          

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:40 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
25. "I hear you, but what I'm talking about happens intra-racially as well. "
In response to Reply # 22
Thu Mar-26-15 01:45 PM by kfine

          



Again, I think there's space to discuss this dynamic with respect to gender before factoring in other intersections like race.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:44 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
28. "yep"
In response to Reply # 25
Thu Mar-26-15 01:45 PM by lfresh

  

          

happens ON HERE to boot
let these sixist mofos tell it though
they mama a woman
they wife's a woman

meanwhile
"women are crazy"
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
-DJ R-Tistic-
Member since Nov 06th 2008
51978 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:41 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
43. "Maaaan! LMAO....you stay on attack mode!"
In response to Reply # 28


  

          

------------------------------

50+ FREE Mixes on www.DJR-Tistic.com!

Twitter and Instagram - @DJ_RTistic

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:57 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
51. "Why you feeling affronted?"
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

Might want to look into that
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
select_from_where
Member since Jan 03rd 2011
4339 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 09:46 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
52. "don't feed the antagonists dog"
In response to Reply # 43


  

          

She has been doing this for years, best way to deal with her is to not even respond

Let her tirade away until she gets sleepy

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 10:11 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
53. "or not say stupid shit"
In response to Reply # 52


  

          

But you can't resist
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
Amritsar
Member since Jan 18th 2008
30731 posts
Fri Mar-27-15 08:26 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
58. "Lol right. The level of hurt there :("
In response to Reply # 43
Fri Mar-27-15 08:26 AM by Amritsar

  

          

.

_______________________________________________
"Mindless populism embodied by Trump and Sanders are like a malignant wart on our body politic"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Fri Mar-27-15 09:31 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
59. "Or yall pick and choose"
In response to Reply # 58


  

          

Because the " I'm a black man I don't have to imagine" is to be ignored
Mmmmm
Yall keep telling on yourselves
~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
SoWhat
Charter member
154163 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 04:53 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
38. "yes. yes it does."
In response to Reply # 25
Thu Mar-26-15 04:53 PM by SoWhat

  

          

i work w/2 women and i have to stop myself from questioning their judgment.

note: i have more experience than either of them and i've been assigned to train them. still...there comes a point where i need to stop questioning their decisions. and i think i would stop sooner if they were men and/or if i weren't a chauvinist.

fuck you.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 01:51 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
29. "maybe 'cause I've worked in engineering with an entirely female"
In response to Reply # 14


  

          

chain of command (Task lead, team lead, project manager, program director all women), I haven't really seen this much.

Over the years in IT, I can only think of one company I worked at where we consistently questioned a chick's competence and rightfully so: she was placed into her position as team lead by a longtime friend who was our manager and had near zero experience.

I'm sure it happens, but the places I've worked at pretty much embraced women IT workers and valued their opinions and contributions.

---------------------------

forcing myself to actually respond to you is like bathing in ebola virus. - Binlahab

Like there is stupid, and then there is you, and then there is dead. - VAsBestBBW

R.I.P. Disco D

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 02:04 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
32. "thats dope. "
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

not even being sarcastic
that's good to hear.

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 02:42 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
33. "That's dope. I mean I don't want to be completely myopic lol.. I realize..."
In response to Reply # 29
Thu Mar-26-15 02:48 PM by kfine

          

all sorts of nuances involved at the industry, company or even personal level (as in your example).

But by and large it does seem to be a commonly reported experience by women in male-dominated work environments.

The leadership structure is an interesting caveat too

>chain of command (Task lead, team lead, project manager,
>program director all women)

A former employer which I would rank the worst in terms of inequitable treatment/compensation of female employees had a number of women in leadership positions. I actually saw this as a good thing, initially, for the mentor/sponsor possibilities.

But I found that even female leadership can accommodate a discriminatory company culture if it means protecting/advancing their own professional interests. The chain-of-command got progressively male-dominated as one looked up the ranks... it was interesting to watch the degree of skepticism within leadership as well.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:02 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
40. "I think in IT everyone has to show and prove initially"
In response to Reply # 33


  

          

If women are on the receiving end of this and are not used to it they may feel singled out but it's par the course.

Every IT shop I've ever walked into I had to prove that I could do the job. No one has time to pick up the slack for someone that's supposed to know what they're doing so you will get tested, especially someone like me that doesn't have a degree.


---------------------------

forcing myself to actually respond to you is like bathing in ebola virus. - Binlahab

Like there is stupid, and then there is you, and then there is dead. - VAsBestBBW

R.I.P. Disco D

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                
kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:48 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
45. "Oh, absolutely. But when a subgroup of employees of the same job title "
In response to Reply # 40
Thu Mar-26-15 06:55 PM by kfine

          

and qualifications are recurringly tasked, compensated or promoted in a drastically different fashion than the rest of the group at large what do you call that?

How would female employees in such an environment show and prove when work they are supposed to be doing gets diverted from them, they are overlooked/denied new tasks or they instead get asked to do things that are not even part of their job? Is it common practice for male programmer analysts to be responsible for notetaking conference calls and proofreading? What would you think of a company in which any females on a project are designated as default admin regardless of whether that couldn't be further from the role she is supposed to be serving?

I get what you're saying though and, like I said, I realize there are always nuances with regards to industry, company and different personalities. My examples are on the extreme end of things as well. But I've just happened to work in a couple of environments that were really bad for this. There's just really no reason to excuse that kind of stuff in the workplace, imo. We already have to toe the line until we can escape to a more equitable work environment. No way I'm going to hold my tongue speaking on the issue outside of the workplace lol

I will say that within those companies, IT staff were actually the most chill. It was usually the technical leads like say, economists or finance who we were supposed to be programming for that were huge dicks.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                    
PoppaGeorge
Member since Nov 07th 2004
10384 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 08:40 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
50. "RE: Oh, absolutely. But when a subgroup of employees of the same job tit..."
In response to Reply # 45


  

          

>and qualifications are recurringly tasked, compensated or
>promoted in a drastically different fashion than the rest of
>the group at large what do you call that?

Being real, it's been my experience that women were promoted faster than the men, hence the project I was on that had a completely female chain of command as well as others where women were promoted rather quickly to technical leads or, in a handful of cases, project management.

>
>How would female employees in such an environment show and
>prove when work they are supposed to be doing gets diverted
>from them, they are overlooked/denied new tasks or they
>instead get asked to do things that are not even part of their
>job? Is it common practice for male programmer analysts to be
>responsible for notetaking conference calls and proofreading?
>What would you think of a company in which any females on a
>project are designated as default admin regardless of whether
>that couldn't be further from the role she is supposed to be
>serving?

Again, even in IT roles, I've never seen this. If she has the qualifications, she's doing the work. Your scenario, however, sounds more development than server side/security IT. I could see shit like that happening with developers but not really on my side of the house and damned sure not when it comes to engineering disciplines (EE, SE, ME, etc...)


---------------------------

forcing myself to actually respond to you is like bathing in ebola virus. - Binlahab

Like there is stupid, and then there is you, and then there is dead. - VAsBestBBW

R.I.P. Disco D

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

                        
kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Fri Mar-27-15 06:58 AM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
57. "Ok well, one only needs to google: women,workplace,discrimination,STEM"
In response to Reply # 50
Fri Mar-27-15 07:04 AM by kfine

          

More than enough research has been done that demonstrates this is a real thing, whether you have observed it or not.


>Being real, it's been my experience that women were promoted
>faster than the men, hence the project I was on that had a
>completely female chain of command as well as others where
>women were promoted rather quickly to technical leads or, in a
>handful of cases, project management.
>

The presence of women in the leadership structure of an organization doesn't automatically guarantee equitable treatment or promotion of female subordinates, though. Like I pointed out above, there can be environments where female leaders are constantly second-guessed within the chain-of-command by their male superiors as well. There can also be environments where female leaders defer/turn a blind eye to a sexist culture as a means of protecting their own positions.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

        
teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:10 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
42. "when i worked in IT in a former life"
In response to Reply # 29


  

          

my direct colleagues were great and thought i was knowledgeable and reliable

it was always dealing with other departments which was an issue

i used to get calls from desktop techs about software bugs and i'd have to solve their issue

one dude refused to do what i told him to do. i really cursed him out because he was wasting my time and the client's time by not following instructions and i'm the only person who could solve his problem.

thankfully cursing was encouraged so i got nothing but high-fives from my team after that. lol.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

            
lfresh
Member since Jun 18th 2002
92693 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 10:13 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
54. "Now that's great to hear"
In response to Reply # 42


  

          



~~~~
When you are born, you cry, and the world rejoices. Live so that when you die, you rejoice, and the world cries.
~~~~
You cannot hate people for their own good.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

ShinobiShaw
Charter member
48533 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 03:33 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy listClick to send message via AOL IM
35. "1-2 warnings is enough. Had it been just 1-2 warnings it would of"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

simply been an employee doing his job. After that he is crossing the line.

http://soundcloud.com/djshinobishaw
http://www.rareformnyc.com
http://twitter.com/DJShinobiShaw
https://twitter.com/RareFormNYC
PSN: ShinobiShaw

"Arm Leg Leg Arm How you doin?" (c)T510

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
legsdiamond
Member since May 05th 2011
70263 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 04:41 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
37. " true, but i bet he has dealt with tons of lost keys"
In response to Reply # 35


          

and heard horror stories of houses being broken into or other crazy shit.

but yeah, stfu and let her make a bad decision

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

J_Stew
Member since Jul 06th 2002
22363 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 05:51 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
39. "you're probably wrong, I've worked in female dominated"
In response to Reply # 0


          

industries and was treated incredibly unfairly(don't cry for me Argentina though, I'm a tall, handsome white dude, I'll be ok). It's probably just as bad or worse for them in male dominated industries.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
kfine
Member since Jan 11th 2009
1985 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 07:05 PM

Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
46. "^^ Friend of mine worked in child care while completing his Ed.D and"
In response to Reply # 39
Thu Mar-26-15 07:19 PM by kfine

          

experienced similar skepticism as an adult male trying to work as a caregiver.

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

teefiveten
Member since Oct 02nd 2008
33019 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:06 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
41. "y'all know she might not have been sending a key"
In response to Reply # 0


  

          

that opened either address on the envelope, right?

and that perhaps the PO workers thought she was?
and good for her for not feeling like she needed to clarify

shit like that happens ALL THE TIME btw

on so many levels
if it's not at work it's a guy trying to pick you up thinking that telling you "i think what you mean is...." no muthafucka, i said what i meant.

lots of micro-aggressions questioning your actions, thoughts, words, and motives, even when you've clearly stated them.

*************************************
like.me
http://tinyurl.com/3z8486u

"if the children are not initiated into the village they will burn it down just to feel its warmth." - african proverb

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 06:47 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
44. "i'd be more concerned with it getting lost"
In response to Reply # 41


  

          

like ripping through the envelop and getting lost
not so much someone stealing it

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
Boogie Stimuli
Member since Sep 24th 2010
13367 posts
Fri Mar-27-15 01:30 AM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
56. "Word it's definitely real."
In response to Reply # 41


          

>shit like that happens ALL THE TIME btw
>
>on so many levels
>if it's not at work it's a guy trying to pick you up thinking
>that telling you "i think what you mean is...." no muthafucka,
>i said what i meant.
>
>lots of micro-aggressions questioning your actions, thoughts,
>words, and motives, even when you've clearly stated them.

~
~
~
~
~
"Until you get outta my way, I don't wanna hear what you say aye aye"

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

ndibs
Member since Aug 06th 2012
12715 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 07:06 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
47. "it's against postal regulations to send a key in envelope like that."
In response to Reply # 0
Thu Mar-26-15 07:16 PM by ndibs

          

As a letter or as a package.

Letter envelopes with letter postage are for paper only. You can do it and people do, but if you go to the counter they're not supposed to offer you this service because envelope rates are for paper only, unless you're netflix and work out some kind of special deal.

The only other option is package service that requires your 'package' which can be an envelope to be at least 3/4 inch thick. First class will have your flimsy envelope mingling in with packages that are up to 1lb (maybe heavier?) and parcel and priority will have your package mingling with and getting thrown around with 5-10-50lbs packages. You can literally throw a barcode and address on a tire or hubcap and throw it in that mail group.

Anyway, it's not just a bad idea, it's actually against regulations. Most postal workers don't know all the regulations. You only learn them by shipping thousands of packages, which almost none of them have done. Ive lost 1 out of 2000 packages (and 40% of sales are international), and it was a domestic package that didn't meet that 3/4 thickness guideline.

Anyway, he didn't know it was against postal regulations, just a very bad idea so he might have given a man a hard time about it too..

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

    
SHAstayhighalways
Member since Sep 03rd 2014
3696 posts
Thu Mar-26-15 07:17 PM

Click to send email to this author Click to send private message to this authorClick to view this author's profileClick to add this author to your buddy list
49. "http://i.imgur.com/IW8simF.gif"
In response to Reply # 47


  

          

http://i.imgur.com/IW8simF.gif

www.royallegacy.org

For Real (Official Video):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBRoCPO8esE

  

Printer-friendly copy | Reply | Reply with quote | Top

Lobby General Discussion topic #12763775 Previous topic | Next topic
Powered by DCForum+ Version 1.25
Copyright © DCScripts.com