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i don't know if you are seeking a boyfriend in this guy,
but for the purposes of this thought
experiment, it doesn't matter.
many ppl get hung up on having feelings
for professionals because the idea
is that you are paying money in exchange
for a service. let's say, the service was sex. or maybe sex with with simulated emotional intimacy.
whatever the exchange, the relationship is transactional.
quid pro quo.
that's not the type of relationship you have with a boyfriend. boyfriends do stuff
like give sex or genuine emotional intimacy for free. because they want to.
because you give the same thing back to
them, freely.
that's the opposite of quid pro quo.
when navigating your own emotions when dealing with a professional, one must
evaluate what, exactly, do you want.
if simulated emotional imtimacy is all you need, then pay the professional. done and done.
but if you want the professional to give
freely to you, just like you want give freely to him, you have to move beyond
the objectification fantasy of the quid
pro quo, pay fare to ride mentality
and start thinking strategicly.
what would make this person want to give freely to me? how do I seduce him?
in other words, you need to utilize game.
I don't mean to imply you should start
doing pick up artist shit.
just court them like you would anybody else.
and as you court them,
look for indicators that you can use to sort out how they feel about you.
do they freely give little boyfriend type stuff when you know they could be on the clock?
do they spend time with you freely,
because they want to?
are they doing boyfriend like stuff
in a way that doesn't seem like they are
keeping tabs on who did what and who paid who?
if they are, then you are dating a professional that wants you in their life.
if they aren't, you are paying a professional that is hopefully damn good
at their job.
if you realize you are paying a professional and that's not what you want from them, that sucks for you, but
heartbreak happens to everyone sometimes.
I assume you have no issues dating a professional that wants you in their life.
what is troubling you, I think, is the idea of not knowing what you are to this professional. you are in one place
and you hope he shares your vision.
I hope he does, too.
but the only way to sort that out is to
use the same discernment you use any
other time you seek a boyfriend.
some times you win, sometimes snakeeyes.
but that's love.
just gotta guess and hope you guessed right.
god help you if you end up courting a professional that is so good at simulating
intimacy he can't tell if he actually feels it or not.
take heart in the knowledge that he is likely just as confused as you are.
use caution, but still, you only live once
so sometimes throw caution to the wind anyway.
hope this helps.
>*...*clears throat*
>
>i know this professional (. . .) who i think is hot for me but
>i can't tell. he flirts hard but i can't tell if he's
>promoting his biz or what. so though i flirt back (hard) i
>dunno what else to do. i've not been in this position
>before.
>
>have you? how'd it work out?
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